For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 2
(Daniel's POV)

I'm tossing and turning as I do most nights... I'm still not quite sure why I do it, after all it doesn't really help. I should know, I've been doing it since my parents died. In fact that is one of the things I miss most about being on Abydos: being able to go to sleep with Sha're in my arms, knowing that she'd be there when I woke up.

I know it sounds silly --and more than a little corny-- but being with her gave me a sense of safety I hadn't had in longer than I could remember. Abydos was a different world, it was a safe world and I had a family there. It was a world in which it would have been unthinkable for a grandfather to turn his back on his grandson, a world where a man's first duty was to his family. I guess that's one of the reasons why I loved it so much, because it was so different, because things were the way they should have been.

On Abydos I found myself being part of a family for the first time in more than twenty years and then all of a sudden that family was taken from me... again. Just as I couldn't save my parents when I was a child, I couldn't keep Sha're from being taken by the Goa'uld. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if only Sha're had come with us when I went to show Sam and Jack the cartouche.

It was a random thing, a split second in time and --just like my parents' death-- it changed my life forever. If Sha're had gone with us she would have been safe and that is the road I'll always regret not taking. It would have been such a minor change, such a tiny step and yet it would have made such a huge difference. Of course, that is not the only way in which things could have gone down differently and I know it. I am all too aware that on the other hand if we had waited a little longer we would all be dead, killed either by Apophis or by the bomb General Hammond would undoubtedly have sent through the stargate when Jack, Sam and the others failed to return on schedule. If we had been there when Apophis attacked, General Hammond would have killed everyone on Abydos and then earth itself would have been left at the mercy of the Goa'uld, facing an unexpected threat mankind couldn't possibly have understood.

That would have been devastating.

I am still thinking about that, thinking about the countless might-have-beens and trying to make some sort of sense out of the chaos that has become my life in these past few months --wondering where I'd be if I hadn't failed to keep Sha're safe-- when I hear the water running and I realize that Sam is up.

I look at the clock and I realize that it is a little past 2:30... a pretty good time. That means that Sam's probably managed to get close to three hours worth of sleep and that --with a little luck-- she'll be able to get another three hours after her shower. That is pretty good and no, I'm nowhere near as obsessed with Sam's sleep patterns as Janet is, though at times I do worry. I mean, after all, she is my friend.

Well, at least the fact that she is awake gives me something to do. It provides me with a welcome distraction from my own thoughts and that is definitely a good thing... especially considering that sleep is not really much of an option right now. Sure, I know I still have a few minutes before I need to get up (after all, I've gotten pretty good at predicting how long she's going to be because, as Sam would undoubtedly remind me, the capacity of the water heater is a constant) but at least now I have a sense of purpose, I have something I can focus my attention on.

In a way this has become a rather comfortable routine, though it took me a while to get Sam to accept my presence here.

Yes, I know it sounds absurd to say that it took a while when I've only been here a week but the thing is that at first she was determined to play the perfect host and that was a problem we had to overcome, now at least she is no longer too worried about that. She is back to being my friend and that is definitely an advantage.

Of course, the fact that things aren't anywhere near as tense as they were a few days ago doesn't mean I don't have to be careful. I know Sam is still more than a little defensive around me and I certainly don't blame her for that. After all, I am all too aware that I did more than my fair share of pushing when I all but forced her to tell me what had really happened in Simarka and that is something she is not likely to forget any time soon.

Yes, what I did was necessary and I don't regret it but I do realize that from her perspective it was --and still remains-- an unwelcome interference. That is why I am so determined to get her to accept the fact that I'm here for her and the best way I can think of to get her to accept that is by taking a step back.

After a few minutes Sam finally walks into the kitchen. I hand her her tea and she sits next to me, not saying anything... not that I was expecting her to. This is about being together, about not being alone. It is not about talking and we both know it... besides, right now that is not what she needs, or at least I don't think it is. The way I see it this is probably one of those instances in which silent support will work a lot better than nagging support so I'm willing to give her as much time and space as she needs.

Of course, I'm not kidding myself. I know I'm not doing much --and I'm certainly not doing what Janet wanted me to do-- but at least I am doing something and for now I suspect that that is going to have to do.

THE END (for now, next story is already in the works)