I Remember
By: Sari
Disclaimer: One Tree Hill does not belong to me. But boy do I wish it did.
Summary: One Shot. BL/NH/PJ. They all remember the moments that led up to this point.
I don't remember when everything started to fall apart around us. I remember the tears though. I remember Brooke bursting in on me and crying in my arms telling me that Lucas had finally given up on her. I remember an hour later Haley calling my house with a worried Nathan on the other line informing me that Lucas had collapsed and we needed to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. I remember carrying a hysterical Brooke to the car while she mumbled over and over that she had finally screwed up and she wouldn't get the chance to ever be with him again.
I remember entering the emergency room and my cellular ringing with news that Ellie, my biological mother, was dead. I think it was then when everything became bright and then faded. I vaguely remember the floor coming up to meet me. And then darkness.
---
I remember some days were better for us after that. Lucas was recovering slowly, Karen had made him quit the team once the doctor had made it clear that it was either his life of basketball. By then, Lucas didn't put up a fight. He was too tired and too defeated. All throughout the struggle of dealing with Lucas's illness I remember thinking how horrible of a friend I was. That even though I claimed I was his best friend I was completely the opposite. I watched him deteriorate to the point where he collapsed.
I'll never forgive myself for that. I'll never forgive myself for letting the one man in my life that has always been there almost die.
---
When Peyton passed out I tried to catch her. It's difficult trying to catch someone else when you're falling yourself. I remember that day that I finally earned my title as her best friend. I pushed back my own problems for once in my life and focused on someone elses. I allowed myself to crawl out of my hole of self pity and take care of my best friend. I mean for god's sake her mother had just died. I had a duty.
So I helped, and I remember the moment when Peyton got up like it was a normal day and thanked me for being there when she needed. I smiled. I think I was still smiling when she pushed me out the door and told me to go find Lucas. That our reconciliation was way overdue.
---
No matter what I say Lucas will always be my brother. We may have our fights, we may have our ups and downs but Lucas Scott is a one of a kind guy and it took him nearly dying for me to realize that. I was one of the people (along with Haley, Karen, and Keith) that truly helped Lucas stay afloat during his physical therapy after the collapse. I honestly was frightened that I would find my brother on the bathroom floor one day. I didn't want that to happen. Not to him.
I remember one day I came to the house and he was sitting on the front step waiting for me. When he started crying I was shocked, when he told me the reason I visualized seeing him on the bathroom floor and I truly changed my tune then.
I've never been much for words, but he was my brother and he was depressed. I needed to say something. So I did.
"Luke, I know everything seems rough right now and you don't know why way is up or down right now but just remember you got all of us rooting for you. Haley, Brooke, Peyt, Jake, Karen, my mom, Keith, even Dad, they all want to see you get through this." I remember I paused and Lucas smiled at me through his tears.
"I love you bro. We love you bro, don't ever doubt that."
---
I remember the day on the porch when I was at my lowest point and Nathan snapped me out of it. I remember the day I got up one morning and didn't think that my life was ending. I remember going to my mom's diner and sitting there with my friends surrounding me thinking that we had gone through so much together and when we graduated we would begin a whole new set of problems and solve them together. I remember asking Peyton if everything was going to be okay. She told me it was, and I believed her.
I remember taking Brooke's hand under the table and looking into her eyes. I remember mouthing the words "I love you."
I remember that day like it was today, and I'm thankful for every single moment that led us there.
THE END
Authors Note: Yes I know that I dropped off the face of the planet for awhile. I don't really know what's going on with Warring Emotions of if I will even continue it. I'm actually thinking about expanding this one shot into a story I liked the premise so much. Thoughts?