Don't Own Harry

This chapter is longer and I corrected some errors

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Chapter 3

Lucius Malfoy was the reincarnation of evil. He had a perfect life, a beautiful wife, big house, money, he was respected, and he had a nice ass. (AN From the Chronicles of Lucius great fic). Oh, and he was evil.

Yet his plan seemed so foolish, so moronic, and so blond that it just had to work.

"Lucius, are you sure this will kill them." asked Avery.

"Yes."

"Am I doing it right?" Mr. Zabini asked.

"Yes Zabini."

"Is friction that important?" asked Goyle.

"Goyle, for the last time. No!"

"Don't be such a party popper." called Nott.

"Yeah, you aren't the one that has to hump Dementors." Macnair whined.

"Lucius, I just want to know, how the hell did you find out that Dementors die when you hump them?" Bella asked.

"He was probably drunk." Wormtail offered.

"I was not drunk." Lucius whispered.

"Then what made you do this?" Bella asked lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah humping Dementors is not something that we all just do out of curiosity." Crabbe recalled.

"Look, I though it was my wife." Lucius lied through his teeth.

"Lucius don't lie." Macnair teased.

"I am not lying."

"Are you expecting us to believe that you and Narcissa actually have sex?" Lestrange asked.

"No. I mean yes... No it's that she visits me once a month…" Lucius gave up.

"Lucius my sister wouldn't do you if her life depended on it." Bella said with a threateningly grin.

"Yes she would." Lucius said.

"Lucius, this is not working." Lestrange told him

"Yeah it is probably that he got infected with your disease." Goyle mumbled.

"I told you Goyle circular motions." Lucius coached.

"But your disease." Wormtail mumbled.

"For the last time I don't have crabs…anymore!" Lucius screamed.

As Lucius said that, all the Death Eaters in the building started laughing in his face.

"Shut up!"

This just made everyone erupt in more laughter.

"Let's get out of here."

They were all still laughing.

"I will tell the Dark Lord that you didn't want him back."

They all stopped instantly.

"That is what I thought. Now all of you form a straight line, and follow me."

They all did as they were told.

"Let's fall into the buddy system!" Lucius commanded taking out a list.

"Evil Knitters?"

"Here."

"Licking Doom?"

"Here."

"Nun Eaters?"

"Nun Eaters?"

"For god's sake Crabbe, Goyle."

"Oh…sorry…here." They both mumbled

"Mud bloods Disaster?"

"Here."

"Gryffindors Suck?"

"Present."

"Gay Evil Overlord's bitches?"

"Here, Lucy."

"Don't call me that Wormtail."

"Such a party popper." Wormtail bitched.

"Dark Lords inc.?"

"Present."

"Riddle United?"

"Here."

"F.U.C.K.?"

"F.U.C.K.?"

"Feeble Unstable Crazy Killers?"

"Here."

"The Boy Who Never Died?"

"Lucius they were killed for being traitors."

"Oh, I forgot." He said that only he heard.

"Troubled Waters?"

"Present."

"Dark Lord's right hand man?"

"Present and sexy." He told himself but as he saw the others.

"Don't you dare grin you fools."

Draco couldn't believe it. His father had escaped Azkaban and he had to marry Granger to halt his plans. Not only that but they had to have a child.

Why did they have to have a kid?

That meant that they had to have intercourse and a lot if they wanted to have a kid.

'My children will have twisted hair.' He thought.

'She better be hot under those garments.' Then he shuttered thinking of the time he walked in the prefect's bathroom on her.

She had freckles. 'Eww freckles. Am I doomed to marry something that similar to a Weasel?'

And now she had been standing in front of him.

"Malfoy!"

"Granger." He answered coldly.

"I spoke with Dumbledore."

"About?"

"Well you know." She said growing scarlet. 'She looks more like a Weasel as time passes.'

"No I do not know Granger."

"You know sex." she whispered.

"Granger, I didn't quite catch the last word."

"Sex." she said meekly

"What?" Draco asked enjoying her torture.

" Sex Malfoy! As in intercourse, intimate contact, shagging, love…"

"Granger, Snape is staring at you." Draco said Hermione turning a deeper shade of scarlet.

She slowly was turning around.

"I was just kidding, Granger, we are alone in the corridor."

"You bastard."

"I know Granger, but please continue your train of thought about us having sex."

"Well Dumble…do…dore told me that there is a room we can use."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, he also advised we get started as soon as possible."

"Like now Granger."

"No…no." She mumbled. Then she got angry slapped him and stormed off.

"I will get her later." he told himself.

"You know Malfoy that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity.' A cold voice told him.

"What do you want Nott?"

"You are a married man now."

"What is it for you Nott?"

"Do you want him to know?"

"Questions don't answer other questions."

"Then I will tell him Draco." Nott said before walking out.

The next morning four Aurors came to Hogwarts. Two sat in the Gryffindor table and two sat in the Slytherin table.

"Why are they seated here?"

"Well um Harry." Hermione started but Ron interrupted her.

"Harry you are the reason they were in Azkaban."

"Yeah, but why Malfoy?" Dean asked

"He probably did something to piss off his father."

At this Hermione paled.

"Hermione are you alright." Tonks asked.

"You seem a little bit off colour."

"I forgot to do Potions essay." She said before running out of the Great Hall.

"But we don't have a Potion essay due." Ron said.

"Any way guys I have the list." Seamus said.

"Tell them it is the only way." Dean said looking down.

"Well, Malfoy was missing from the library also." Seamus said looking down.

"What?" Ron bellowed looking around the Great Hall to find Malfoy.

"He is not here!"

"Ron calm down. Harry told him."

"But Harry, she is dating the enemy."

"We don't know that for sure."

"But…"

"Ron thinks happy thoughts." Ginny told him.

"Okay, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts…"

"Ron does it in your mind." Tonks told him.

"Okay." Ron said.

He started to bang his head on the table.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…

"Stop it! Now!" Pansy Parkinson yelled from the Slytherin table.

"I'll go then!" Ron screamed storming out of the Great Hall. As soon as he left, the Great Hall erupted in cheer.

When Hermione left she went to the only place no one would find her.

The room Dumbledore gave her.

To bad Malfoy was waiting for her there.

"Malfoy."

"Granger."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I need to talk to you."

"Look this is…" She said fumbling with her ring.

"Granger you can't take off the ring."

"I know."

"We need to establish a time for our little visits."

"What?"

"You can't get pregnant without sex and here me though you were the smart one."

"Every day before dinner." Hermione blurted out. Making Draco stand there open mouthed.

He soon composed himself.

"See you at five, Granger." He said before leaving.

What Will Lucius do?

What will Ron do?

Why is Harry so calm all of the sudden?

Tell me in your reviews.