Chapter Eight: The Chance of Improbability

No, no, he was running, again, he was always running. The chicken…it was coming for him…and the fires…they were everywhere.

The chicken let out a cluck and charged for him. Sky ran and ran till he couldn't run no more. The voices…the chicken…danger…

Suddenly he was outside of Romana's mansion. Piano music filled his head. The music…it was sided with the voices! It was after him too!

"What are you doing here, Sky?" Flora appeared, She was looking at Sky with interest.

Suddenly a blue feather appeared in his hands. Flora was looking at the blue feather with a smile. Sky handed the blue feather to her…

"Sky, you shouldn't have!" He handed the blue feather to Lumina. The young girl giggled and then leaped into his arms…

Sky shot out of bed, his heart pounding.

"I have GOT to get out more." He declared, and then proceeded to remove the various nails and splinters that had entered his body during his night's wrestle.

"Those stupid freaking ELVES!"

"We're Harvest Sprites!" Suddenly the elves were upon him…attacking him…their eyes glowing red…

"AHHHHHH!" He screamed and was out of his bed once more, feeling his face for vital injuries.

"I HATE double dreams." Sky shouted. Then he proceeded to remove the various nails and splinters that had entered his body during his night's double wrestle.

"Mmm…grumble…grumble…" Sky grumbled as he walked out of his shack and into the open air. There were some things in life that he understood, and most things that he didn't. For example, he had no idea that double dreams were possible. He also didn't know why the sky (the REAL sky) was blue instead of a strange purple or colorful pink. He also did not know why elves were called Harvest Sprites instead of elves or what blue feathers had anything to do with marriage.

Most of these things, Sky had no intention of knowing. Ignorance is bliss.

So he walked outside his shack into the morning dew, whistle 'Dreaming of a Different Planet' by Far A. Way. He threw upon the barn door and tossed fodder into the animals' bens, still humming.

"That is the most ridiculous song I have ever heard." Betsy commented.

"Shut up. What do you know? You're a cow."

"Cows have bigger and better ears than you do." Betsy said and gave a deep moo.

Apple glared at him with intense anger as Sky fed him. Cowering, Sky then fed Apple and Apple. Apple neighed and ate the apple happily.

"To show that I am a nice evil guy." Sky said as Apple ate it.

Then he turned to Sleep the sheep, who was sleeping. Sky couldn't blame the sheep. If he were a sheep, he would be sleeping too. He noticed that Sleep's wool was extremely dirty and filthy. But then, so was all the other animals.

So, he declared this day Bath day. There was much rejoicing.

Lining all the animals up in a single file line, he began with Betsy. He took a ridiculously large scrub and a hose and began to clean the animals.

"It's about time." Betsy said, mooing in appreciation.

Apple acted completely innocent during his clean, but Sky knew that if he made one wrong move then Apple would kick him again with his hind legs.

Exhausted, after going through all the chickens (which gave him several plucks and pecks in protest from being cleaned) Sky turned to Sleep, who was sleeping the entire time. Sky hosed the sheep down and began to scrub as hard as he can. Despite what the other animals thought of his scrubbing, Sleep seemed to be enjoying it.

Suddenly, an incredibly smart thought came to Sky. It was one of those genius thoughts, worthy of Albert Einstein. Worthy of Stephen King, Bill Gates, even Hitler!

"Sleep…you have WOOL!" Sky exclaimed, astonished by his smartness.

"Baa." Sleep said in agreement.

"So…I can like…sell your wool, right? For money?"

"Baa." Sleep said.

"That is SO COOL! But I'll need something to cut your wool with…" He ran into the tool shed and searched through his many pointy objects. Dropping the scythe, Sky found some scissors. "Oooh…sharp…" Sky said, picking up the shears. He walked back over to Sleep.

He cut. He cut like his heart depended on it, and maybe it did. Sky had been eating stale bread lately, it was all he could afford. Money was not on his side. Money hated Sky, but that's okay. Sky forgave Money. Sky wanted Money to come over some time.

Finally, the cutting of wool was done. The ceremony complete, Sky looked down at the huge stack of freshly washed wool before him. Sleep, who had once been nice and fluffy, was now thin and frail.

"Alright, go back to sleep, Sleep." Sky said.

"Baa." Sleep said and was asleep.

Sky was getting up and wiping the dirt off him when suddenly he noticed that the wool glittered in the afternoon sunlight. He knelt closer to the wool, inspecting it, it glittered again! Then, he realized that the wool was not white but yellow! A…a…golden yellow! It was gold! It was golden wool!

"I CAN TURN THREAD INTO GOLD!" Sky exclaimed, hugging the golden wool. And there was no Rumplestiltskin to take it from him! It was his! FINALLY, MONEY WAS HIS! He knew that Money would forgive him.

But wait…how was this possible? According to the Improbability Scale, the chance of normal sheep wool to turn into to gold was .1294582094343 to 1 million. Very improbable, yet here it was!

Sky shrugged. Gold was gold, he was going to go sell it before someone locked him into a tower, and Takakura demanded he let down his golden wool so that he may enter Sky's tower.

Taking up the wool, Sky checked the calendar inside his house. It was Wednesday, prefect!

Sky whistled.

Apple did not come.

Sky whistled.

Apple still did not come.

Sky whistled again.

Finally, Apple grumpily walked over too him. Climbing into the saddle in a way worthy of John Wayne, he rode into town singing 'I Can Turn Rock Into Gold' by Mida S. Touch.

Van the Merchant was standing outside of the inn. He was a fat guy, with an ugly black mustache and matching hair. He had white ruffles around his neck and a red suit with golden buttons. He laughed strangely as Sky approached with the wool. "My, my, it seems that you have some golden wool."

"Yeah!" Sky said excitedly. "And I wanna sell it for a bunch of money!"

"You know, according to the Improbability Scale the chances of you actually getting golden wool is…"

"Yeah, I know, how much can I get for it?" Sky interrupted.

"2000g." Van said firmly.

Whoa! That was a bunch of money! Sky grinned from ear to ear. "I'll take it!" He exclaimed, putting down the golden wool.

"No, you won't!" Van said, fingering a gold chain watch.

"Umm…I won't?" Sky asked in confusing.

"You have to bargain with me first!"

"I do?"

"Yes!"

"But…2000g is a lot!"

"Surely you want at least 3000g for it, though? I mean, this golden wool is extremely improbable!"

"Fine!" Sky said in defeat. "I'll have 3000g for it!"

Van looked shocked. "What? Are you trying to rob me, son? This pathetic wool is barely gold. It's worth no more than 1500g!"

Sky kicked the ground. "Fine! I'll take 1500g for it! Can I have the money now?"

"What!" Van shouted. "1500g for this beauty? I am surprised! You should ask for 3500g and no less!"

"The more money the better!" Sky said. "3500g for the golden wool, and no less." Sky declared.

"3500g? Raising the price? I am but a humble merchant, I barely have that money!" Van cried dramatically.

Sky held his temper. "Then how much can I get for it?"

"2000g."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Fine, give me the money!" Sky said.

Van handed him the money and snatched the wool away. He threw it in the trash can.

Sky's mouth fell open. "WHAT THE HECK did you do that for?"

Van shrugged. "What am I, a merchant, supposed to do with wool? Use it as clothes? Gold is too flashy anyway. Go now, shoo, shoo!" Van shoved Sky away and went to the next person in line.

Pocketing the money, Sky gave Van one last confused stare before riding back towards the farm.