Disclaimer: No, they're not mine, either. The situation is my invention, but all credit goes to Ms. Rowling for giving us such wonderful toys to play with.

A/N: You know, I have no idea where this one came from. But what would happen if Severus was faced with people being FAIR to him? The first part takes place in the Muggle world, which I think should be pretty obvious. This is all post-war, post-Voldemort, etc.

Chapter 1

The last footsteps faded away down the hall, and the exhausted professor dropped his head into his hands with a groan. How on earth could it be so hard for them? This had been an easy lab exercise today, simply looking at pH of a solution as another solution was added to it. Surely this was something they had learned before! But no, the entire two hours had been full of panicked questions, breaking glassware, hijinks of all kinds, note passing, gum chewing, chattering like bloody magpies about their drinking bouts the night before and their plans for more drinking at the weekend, and he would be extremely surprised if even one of them had any understanding of what he had tried to get through their skulls.

"Dunderheads!" he exclaimed to himself, and then winced in pain. It was another migraine sneaking up on him, and he could see the halo his eyes were putting on the edges of his black lab coat. Well, at least that had been his last class of the day, and he could go home and huddle in his flat for the weekend, hoping that the headache would go away by Monday morning's lab session.

The professor rose from his desk, not standing up to his full height but hunching a bit to protect his throbbing brain, and paced slowly out of his lab. He locked the door behind himself, dropped the keys in one side pocket of his lab coat and his ID badge in the other side pocket. It wasn't the same as his teaching robes – nothing would be – but he had found that even a lab coat could billow slightly with the right things in the pockets. And of course it was black, no matter how hard it had been to convince the purchasing department that yes, he did want a black lab coat.

He slowly made his way to his office, wincing now and then at the occasional noises echoing down the corridors and rattling his poor skull. As he hung up his lab coat, his eye fell on the mail that had been placed on his desk by the department secretary. Peeking out from beneath the chemistry journals was what looked suspiciously like a parchment envelope. He stuffed the journals in his briefcase and stared at the envelope for a moment. Yes, it was indeed parchment. He could tell from the stamp, and the script, where it was from. No matter how hard the Ministry tried, they couldn't quite make their post fit in with regular Muggle post.

Finally, the professor picked up the envelope he'd been staring at. Might as well put it in the trash, just like I have the letters they've been sending me for the last two years, he thought to himself. But as his fingers closed on the stiff parchment, the envelope began to emit a light blue glow. He tried to drop the envelope, but the glow intensified and he found that the letter was stuck to the fingers of his left hand.

"So, they've started using Livramus charms, have they?" Once he opened the envelope, pulled out the parchment inside it, and unfolded it, he was able to put down the envelope. He knew the Livramus charm was used on letters or documents the Ministry insisted be delivered and acknowledged, and that the delivery of this letter to him had been registered at the Ministry. But his heart fell when he read the brief note before him.

TO: Professor Severus Snape

Your acknowledged receipt of this letter

hereby requires you to present yourself

at the Visitor's Entrance to the Ministry for Magic

at 0900h on 13th May 2003.

Visitor Entry Code: 7727

Please be aware that your acknowledged receipt of this letter

has the effect of entering you into a magical contract to appear

at the Ministry for Magic at the appointed time and date.

Failure to appear will result in your collection and escort to the Ministry.

SIGNED: Committee for Reconciliation and Fairness

"Dunderhead!" He snarled at himself.