(A/N: I'M SO SORRY! I'm soooo sorry for the delay. I was moving houses and we didn't have internet until recently. Plus, I was having a tiny writer's block. Gosh, I hope you like this chapter. There's a lot of emotional, quick action and deep thoughts. Well, as deep as Cho can get, at least. Anyway, thank you SO much for the reviews! You guys are awesome!)
My headache woke me up. I felt as if I had only slept for thirty minutes. The pounding in my head was painful and I had to breathe slowly to keep the throbbing at a bare minimum. It was still dark and I wondered what time it was when the night's events hit me like an arrow. The fear that was lodged in my heart was a black liquid, filling me up. What the hell happened last night?
I slowly sat up, trying to remember everything but couldn't. The last thing I recalled was the red light. I thought a bit more and, turning cold, I realized that someone had stunned me. Bletchley stunned me! He did it so he could...
I couldn't bring myself to finish that sentence. I rushed out of my room and the pang in my head made me stop and sit on my steps. The thought of what could have happened made me want to throw up. Why didn't Draco rescue me? What exactly happened? Did Bletchley actually..?
"No," I whispered, shuddering.
"Chang." He was standing in front of me. I could tell he had fallen asleep here in this common room.
Maybe a week ago, that voice would have meant the world to me. I would have stopped what I was doing just to hear him say more. Now, however, everything's changed. That voice belonged to the same person I had believed to be my friend, my ally.
"Chang, are you alright?"
I shivered. "Stay away from me."
Draco stopped where he was. "What now?"
I laughed, hysterically. "What now?" I stood up, ignoring my headache. "You have the audacity to ask me 'What now?'?" I was yelling. "I WAS STUNNED LAST NIGHT, HAVING NO CLUE OF WHAT HAPPENED. I'M HOPING YOU COULD TELL ME WHAT NOW!"
His eyes flickered. "If it weren't for me, you'd have no clue what kind of hell you'd be in," he said, icily.
That only made me madder. "You watched me without giving me any kind of help! You let that bastard get a hold of me!"
"I let him? Far from. Was it not I that tried to convince him otherwise? Was it not I that stunned him?" He glared at me. "I had to stun you because you were so close to him and there was no other way! He was about to go at you and I had to think of something fast!"
My head hurt too much. "What?"
None of us said anything. I absorbed all of what he said and what can I say? The information he gave me made perfect sense. It swirled in my head, along with relief and joy. Typical Malfoy, making me feel stupid. I smiled, out of joy, relief, and just plain humor.
He was surprised to see me change expressions so quickly. "Are you ok?"
I nodded. "Just relieved that nothing happened after all."
"Thanks to me."
"You conceited git."
"Why, what a brilliant compliment. I'll be sure to return it to you soon."
Strangely, our conversation has turned into normal small talk. But I was too happy to mention it. Life was too good to point out little details that didn't matter. I was just glad that he helped me and I didn't have a reason to stay angry at him.
"Draco, is your reputation so important that you have to pretend all the time?" It was an odd question but it had been on my mind for a while. Ever since he had insulted me in the Great Hall, in fact.
He shrugged. "What my reputation is reflects who I am. If you believe that I'm important, then my reputation is as well."
I rolled my eyes. "Stop this philosophical bullshit and answer the question."
"Yes, my reputation is the most important thing I possess. So, yes, I need to pretend, as you say it."
I frowned. "Most important thing?"
"Yes." His voice had an air of impatience to it.
"What about friends?" I asked, slowly. "What about me?"
He scoffed. "I told you once and I'll tell you again: We are not friends. I don't have friends."
"If we're not friends, why the hell do I call you by your first name and vice versa?"
He shrugged. "Merely calling someone by name does not count to the fact that we are friends."
"Oh, bullshit. I know you better than anyone in Hogwarts. Hell, I know you better than anyone in general." I don't know why his cold words got me so worked up. "If we're not friends, Malfoy, why did you rescue me?"
He didn't answer straight away. Just as I began to think I won, he said, "You don't know me at all. If you knew me, you would've known by now."
"Known what?" I asked, not out of curiosity but out of frustration.
He merely jerked his head. He wanted to provoke me, I thought, furiously. One moment, we were fine, the next, we were at each other again. It was baffling.
"Oh, sod off," I said, annoyed.
He stared at me with such intensity that it wouldn't have surprised me if his eyes became like laser beams, boring into my own eyes. I looked away. I could feel his stare clawing at me. I dared not move a muscle. My instincts told me that if I moved, I would surely regret it.
He strode over, silently. I refused to meet his gaze. I could feel his breathing on me and still, I didn't face him. Nothing happened for a few heart-stopping moments. Then, his fingers touched my face and directed it to face him and finally, I stared back into his eyes. His face was an inch away from mine before I began to anticipate what was going to happen. Was he doing what I thought he was doing?
His face did not move any more forward or any more backwards. Instead, he seemed to be studying my face, my reaction to his sudden shift. Was he going to kiss me?
The minutes passed slowly, like the last seconds before your last class ends for the entire year. I could faintly smell thelingering scent that he always wore. The hot air that I felt was his slow, silent breathing. I gripped the end of my shirt, tightly, until I could feel it turn numb. I was always somewhat nervous around him but never have I felt as strange and awkward as this. How I wanted his lips to touch mine. I wanted to be able to find out whether he tasted like how he smelled. I wanted the same light feeling I get when I had kissed Cedric.
Oh, God, Cedric. His sudden memory jolted me. What was I doing? Cedric was everything I wanted. Everything that I needed. What was I doing with Draco Malfoy, the boy least like Cedric? I was betraying his memory. I was betraying everything that I had once lived for. Weren't those the sweetest memories I posessed? The time I spent with Cedric made me happy and joyful. How could I throw it all away for someone like Malfoy? Even if Cedric had wanted me to move on, why would I choose Draco Malfoy, of all people? In fact, I would bet all my galleons that Cedric would have prefered me with Harry. At least with Harry, I didn't have to keep guessing.
Yet, wasn't that the whole point of this? Guessing. It was the fun part about Malfoy. I would never know what's going to happen next. I never had to guess around Cedric and maybe that was why I felt so safe. Around Malfoy, I was never safe. It was the adrenaline of the whole ordeal that kept me going. Malfoy is someone that could keep me alive. So why do I feel so horrible about it?
His face was too close. And then, he stopped. He pulled back right before the moment he was supposed to kiss me. Stunned, I watched him, wondering what his expression seemed to explain. As usual, I saw nothing. Nothing at all. His reaction was either covered up or simply not there.
"What. Are. You. Doing." I said, in my short breaths. He was hardly visible now. He was blurred and obscure. Was I crying? I was. Was it because of Cedric's memory or because Malfoy didn't kiss me like I wanted him to?
He stared at my tear-filled eyes. Of course, being the insensitive wart that he was, he said, simply,"You must be thinking about Cedric again."
Had it not been so serious to me, I would have laughed and deny it, but instead, the hollow feeling inside of me increased. I didn't want to admit it but it was almost true. I did miss Cedric, now more than ever. I didn't ask for Malfoy. I certainly didn't ask for me to like him. But he's here and my feelings were rather real. So,what exactly was I afraid of?