Fear Factor: DNAngel

By Lazy Kitsune

Summary: All the contestants must face their fears and succeed in the stunts! Winner receives a big prize in the end! For who is fear not a factor?

Disclaimer: I don't own DNAngel or Fear Factor. (sniff)

Warnings: Very graphic, EXTREME cases of character bashing (coughrisacough), bad language, suggestive themes, very mild hints of shonen-ai (that probably turned off a lot of readers by now), mild violence, rated T for Teen, not for the faint of heart

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! (gets hit by random objects thrown by readers) Ack! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry it took me so long to post this up! I can list all the reasons, but this isn't about me. This is about Dark, right? That's right. Please enjoy...those who are left...

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: A gay helper guy and something that may be disappointing for a certain guy's fans...

Chapter 4 – Qualification Stunt: Dark (hey, we're still on the qualification stunts!)

Dark got on the unicycle, but when the gay helper dude (let's call him Bobo) tried to blindfold him, Dark dodged him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dark said, warding off the Bobo. "Whoa!"

"What, what, what?" asked Bobo in a high voice. "What?"

"I don't do guys," Dark replied.

"Of courthe you don't," Bobo pouted (he has a lisp), "and thath thuch a pity. Now, let me blindfold you –"

"I don't think you get me," said the phantom thief, evading Bobo once again. "I don't like it when other guys try to touch me."

Bobo looked offended. "Excuthes moi?" (A/N: I'm so sorry kitedragon! (cries) I promise this'll be the last time!)

"No offense, man."

"Fine, fine, Mr. Phantom Thief," Bobo said, still sounding offended. "Hey, you!" he said, pointing at Riku.

"Me?" Riku asked, pointing at herself.

"Yeah, you, put thith on him," Bobo said, tossing the blindfold to Riku. "I quit!" He stormed off.

"Hey!" Daisuke said in resentment.

"Hey now," Dark said in amusement. "Come on, Blindfold Girl...blindfold me!"

Riku scowled and blindfolded Dark. Daisuke glared at Dark as he grinned.

"I hate you," Dai told Dark.

"She was originally mine," Dark retorted. "You were in love with the dumb, useless one." Daisuke lowered his head in shame. "That's right, go back to her!" Dark taunted. "Riku is rightfully mine!"

"I don't belong to anyone!" Riku said angrily and kicked the unicycle, starting Dark off. And guess what – the timer went off on your left!

Dark was out of balance first, but then he eventually got his balance back and miraculously got through it without a scratch in...30 seconds.

"HAHAHAHA!" Dark laughed, even though his heart was beating 100 beats per second. "I'm the best, right guys!"

"You got the fastest time, Dark," Joe said slowly.

"Whoo-hoo!" Dark cheered like Homer Simpson.

"But..." Joe said.

"...But...what?"

"But you didn't finish the milk."

Dark stared at him for a moment, trying to digest what he had just been told. "So you're saying...I...lost?"

"Yes," Joe said, putting on a fake sorry face. "I'm very sorry."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dark shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" his fangirls screamed, coming out of nowhere.

"I thought we drugged them," Joe said to Bobo.

Bobo pouted. "Tho did I," he said, putting his hand on his hip and flipping his head. "But apparently they came back."

"Oh well, you're disqualified, Dark, so go down the Walk of Shame," Joe told him, his voice strangely echoing on "Shame". He pointed at the Walk of Shame (dun dun dun!), which was actually the road they took to get to there from the hotel, but Joe likes to be dramatic.

"You may have gotten me this time," Dark said in a deep, freaky voice, "but I'll be back! Stronger and smarter and more handsome and..." His incoherent babbling trailed off as he walked down the Walk of Shame (dun dun dun!).

"That was fun," Joe said to Bobo.

"Whatever," Bobo said, putting his arm up and bending his wrist in dismissal.

"Next is...Miss Harada!" Joe said.

"Huh?" said Riku.

"Eeeek!" screamed Risa.

"Which one are you talking about?" Daisuke asked.

"The smart one," Joe replied.

"That must be me," Riku and Risa said at the same time. They glared at each other and started a catfight. But Riku won in like...5 seconds after giving Risa a bruise on her arm.

"Well, at leath that one loud guy ain't here," Bobo said, taking out a cigarette and smoking it. "Even though he wath cute."

"I thought you quit..." Kosuke said to Bobo.

"Which one is it!" the Harada twins asked furiously.

"It's..."

A/N: Which twin is it? Hahaha, Dark was disqualified. I'm so sorry Dark fans! And I'm doubly sorry to all readers for taking so long on this! (gets on knees and bows to the ground) PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!