Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters…
Author's Note: It's been awhile…sorry. I've been quite busy. I should have the last chapter up within a few days, though. (If I get around to actually writing it) And as always, the quality of this post is not guaranteed.
Kate shifted uncomfortably, and rolled onto her side, her back to her sleeping lover. She hurt. Her whole body hurt. She was even finding it difficult to decide which part of her hurt the most. It was impossible for her to sleep at all. Her head pounded, her back ached, her feet burned, and the rest of her body throbbed in dull pain. She felt a strong arm snake around her large midriff as Tony snuggled close to her, not as asleep as she had thought he was. The comfort it provided her was immense and caused her to forget her discomfort, if only briefly.
She reveled in his touch, his smell, the feeling of his hot breath tickling the back of her neck. It had been a trying week for her, probably the worst in her life, but now that Tony was home with her, holding her close, everything seemed alright, better than alright.
Then why was there this feeling welling up deep inside her, threatening to flood over her and sweep her into a tumultuous emotional state? She tried to ignore it, but just like her physical pain, it refused to leave her unmolested. A knot formed in her throat, another deep in the pit of her stomach, and Kate could feel the tears begin to pool stinging her eyes. As the tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks, she knew why she was crying.
However, Kate didn't feel that it was an appropriate time to discuss it with Tony. He had just gotten home that day, and probably was suffering as much pain as she was, if not more. She wanted to let him rest, so she fought the urge to sob uncontrollably, resigning herself to let the tears flow silently upon their path across her tender skin.
Kate's decision to let Tony sleep did not go unchecked. She may have called him insensitive on numerous occasions, but how could he not realize that the woman laying beside him, the woman he loved, was suffering? She felt him move away from her, hoping that he only had rolled over in his sleep. The light blinked on from his side of the bed, confirming that he was awake.
"Kate, what's wrong?" he spoke softly, concern in his voice. She didn't move. Maybe he'd give up, go back to sleep, and let her be. She didn't want him to see her tear-streaked face. She felt his hand settle upon her arm, strong and comforting. It only made the tears flow more freely, drowning her features with a saline moisture that burned her skin. "You're crying, Kate. Please tell me why."
He sounded so worried, so serious. She had to turn and face him. He was already sitting up and she moved to do the same so that she could wrap her arms around him, and be enveloped in a snug warm embrace.
He didn't know what was wrong with her, but Tony knew that she needed comforting, and then maybe she'd tell him what was going on. He held her tightly, and gently kissed the side of her face as tears bathed his shoulder. Her skin was hot against his lips and tasted salty from the tears she shed. He didn't know what was troubling her, and Kate had made no effort to reveal it to him, so he could only hold her close in the hope that he provided her some solace.
Finally, after the tears had ceased to flow, Kate pulled away from Tony in order to look into his face. The light that the small lamp provided was minimal, and his face was mostly in shadow, but Kate could make out his troubled expression. After the display she had just put on, she couldn't back out now. She had to tell him and pray that he wouldn't think her as silly as she felt.
"I feel so stupid, Tony," she began. "I could probably blame it on the hormones, but I know it's not that."
Kate looked into his eyes, and finding mainly consternation, took a deep breath. She had to do it. She had to tell him no matter how embarrassed and vulnerable the truth made her feel.
"I was crying because I just felt overwhelmed. I was thinking about how I almost lost you." She paused to swallow back the lump in her throat. "The thought of never seeing you again was terrifying. And now that I think about it, I don't know if I could ever bear being separated from you again."
She paused and tried to read his thoughts through his facial expression. She couldn't tell if he had understood what she had revealed to him. She figured that she might as well say it plain and simply. "I love you, Tony."
Kate's insides tensed as she stared pensively at his poorly lit face, waiting for a response. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind; doubt, worry relief that she had finally just said it.
"I have something to tell you," he said. He wanted to tell her that he felt the same, but he knew Kate, knew that it would take more than saying it to convince her of its veracity. He'd have to prove it, explain it, just as she had to him.
"You remember the hot nurse, right?" he asked, hoping that she would stick with him long enough to allow him to make his point.
Kate only nodded her head, dreading that he was about to reject her, calculating the likelihood that he had cheated on her. She loved him, and even if he didn't love her, she at least presumed that he respected her enough not to do that to her.
"Well, when I was flirting with her-don't look at me that way, you know how I am, Kate. And you know I'd never do anything more than flirt with another woman," he attempted to explain. "Actually, that's my entire point. I felt guilty about it, Kate! Me, guilty, over flirting with a pretty girl! And I realized why. I don't care about other women anymore. I only care about you."
He paused to look directly into her eyes, to be sure that she could see the sincerity and honesty behind what he said next. "I love you, Kate."
She didn't know she could feel this way. It was just three little words. But hearing him say them to her, and meaning it, had filled her with a joy that she had never experienced before. She wrapped her arms around him, as he once again pulled her into a close embrace. Her body filled with warmth and her pain subsided until it plagued her no more, as he placed tender kisses on her cheek, neck and shoulder.
Kate pulled away from him enough so that their lips could meet in a passionate expression of their affection. He broke off the kiss, and Kate felt herself overcome with fatigue. She laid back down on her side, this time with her back to the outside. And after reaching over to turn off the light, Tony joined her, he too lying on his side in order to face her. He took her hand in his, and kissing it lovingly, wished her sweet dreams, before drifting off to sleep. She smiled to herself as she too fell asleep. That night they both had the best night's sleep in a long while.