Wedlock
"Everyone in Heaven and Hell were pretty much on the edge of their seats, but since the first eight months of the marriage have gone remarkably well, people--well, some people--are starting to relax," Hilde reported dutifully, reading the Councils' monthly update.
Relena stood facing her dresser with her arms out as Sylvia fluttered about, zipping up her dress, braiding the two customary plaits into her hair, and smoothing any out of place feathers.
"Uh-huh," Relena said absently as Sylvia finished fussing and took a step back.
"I think your marriage is working mainly because of Lady Une's split personality: bitch when in Queen mode, sweetheart when in wife mode," Hilde said, lowering her clipboard and winking.
Sylvia went to the vanity and brought over a simple pair of pearl earrings.
"Une's always been agreeable with me, it's true," Relena said as Sylvia swept her hair back to insert the earrings. "Is that all the two councils want me to know?"
Her dark-haired secretary flipped a page over on the clipboard and her wings ruffled uneasily before she spoke. "And after the recent EarthSphere Alliance council meeting, it's been decided that in order to continue this era of peace, two children will be needed... and, by order of chance, you've been selected to carry the first one."
Sylvia had barely gotten the back of the second earring on before Relena spun around angrily.
"What? Have I no say in my life at all?"
Hilde sighed sympathetically but when she noticed the fury in Relena's eyes, quickly said, "Don't kill the messenger."
Relena growled in frustration. Sylvia and Hilde looked at each other restlessly. They weren't used to Relena growing so angry. She hadn't had much of a temper before the marriage. Hell had probably been having an effect on her.
"I hate being their goddamned pawn!" She snarled. She then crossed the room irately and flung open the door with more force than necessary.
"Relena..." Hilde said hesitantly. She hated seeing her friend so upset but knew that there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.
"Leave me. I just need to blow off steam," Relena said as she stormed out of her posh bedroom without looking back.
She slammed the door behind her and stomped down the lavish hall. She wished she had something to break or someone to fight but, of course, that wasn't proper for Heaven royalty. So instead she scowled at the lush carpeting as she walked.
She wasn't paying much attention to exactly where she was going which is probably the reason she plowed directly into Dorothy. Or to be more exact, into Dorothy's ample breasts.
"Oh! I'm sorry, really, I-I am..." Relena stuttered out, her apology trailing off as her mind immediately zeroed in on Dorothy's chest.
Relena felt her face heat up; Dorothy was wearing a ridiculously small, tight-fitting dress that accentuated her cleavage and barely came halfway down her thighs. Dorothy watched, hands on her hips and slightly amused, as Relena looked her up and down. Relena felt the back of her neck warm up too. She peeled her eyes off Dorothy's legs and shook her head.
"Hell must be having more of an effect on me than I thought," she muttered to herself.
"Why's that, babe?" Dorothy said, finally speaking.
Relena's blush gained a whole new level of glow as she cried, "That! See? You called me 'babe' and I started feeling...too hot." Relena frowned when she couldn't find better words to describe the new sensations.
Relena suddenly became aware of where she was; she had managed to make her way to one of the smaller, lesser-used lounges on the lower level. It wasn't as fancy as some of the others and there weren't as many chairs. Dorothy paused and then reached her arms up in a brief stretch, an action that returned Relena's full attention to the woman in front of her.
Dorothy walked slowly towards her and Relena just couldn't stop staring, despite the fact that she was mortified. She took a few steps backwards while Dorothy continued to approach her in an almost lazy fashion, a smirk forming on her lips, her four-inch heels grazing the carpet.
The backs of Relena's knees suddenly knocked into the edge of the plush green couch, forcing her to fall backwards into a sitting position with her wings pressed against the soft cushioning. The princess looked a bit nervous as Dorothy stepped in front of her. She leaned forward, putting her face level with Relena's.
"You know what my position is, right?"
It was all Relena could do to keep her eyes on Dorothy's face instead of letting them slide down to her breasts. "Y-you run the 4th department of the Seven Deadly Sins. You're Lust," she managed to reply.
Dorothy's smirk grew. "That's right. I'm Lust. Do you know what lust is?"
Relena swallowed as the Sin looked down at her, waiting for an answer.
"You motivate humans to copulate for the sake of reproduction." Relena wondered if that was the wrong answer, but then Dorothy's smirk morphed into a seductive smile. Relena wasn't sure if she should be relieved or more worried.
Dorothy lifted a knee onto the couch, so that it was brushing Relena's thigh. Dorothy tilted forward and put her hand on the back of the couch. She was now leaning over Relena, who was still avidly trying not to notice how close they now were.
"Close," she said, "Except for the reproduction part."
Relena took a break from trying to control her breathing and frowned. "But then--"
"Put your hand...there," Dorothy interrupted as she drew Relena's hand to rest on the back of her thigh. This allowed her to pull her other knee up to rest on the other side of Relena's legs. Now she was kneeling over Relena with both hands on the back of the couch. She remained like that for only a few seconds before lowering down to settle herself comfortably on Relena's lap.
Relena suddenly felt as though her clothes were too tight, especially since Dorothy's shifting had caused her hand to unintentionally slide higher up the Sin's thigh. It was brushing the hem of Dorothy's outrageously short dress. Relena found herself frozen, completely unsure of how to react. Even though her body was acting like a statue, her voice miraculously came to life.
"But then why would humans copulate if not for reproduction?" Relena winced at how raspy her voice had sounded.
Dorothy slid her arms around Relena's shoulders, her hands crossing at nape of the angel's neck.
"Same reason demons do. I take it there's no pleasure in Heaven," Dorothy said. She leaned in slightly as Relena answered.
"Well, we have joy found in duty and sacrifi--"
Having no interest in talking about the chaste joys of angels, Dorothy quickly cut the other girl off by connecting their mouths. Being the ultimate certified expert in seduction, she deftly obliterated Relena's minor protests and quickly had the angel melting into her.
Relena's hands grabbed haphazardly at the Dorothy's sides, and then decided to twist into the Sin's waist-length blonde hair instead. Relena pulled her closer until their breasts were pressing together.
While Relena was utterly enthralled by the new sensations rippling through her body, Dorothy focused on inching Relena's floucy skirt up until it was bunched between their two groping bodies. Dorothy's short short skirt was already up around her hips--not that it had had far to travel--and she slid their bare thighs together. Relena moaned.
On a normal day, Relena would never have even contemplated imagining that she'd be in a situation like this. And enjoying herself so much. But she was being seduced by Lust herself. The innocent princess of Heaven didn't stand a chance
After banging on it once or twice, Duo peered around the door of Relena's massive bedroom. Finding it devoid of anything with wings, Duo wandered in, curious.
"Hellooooo? Oh queen of the woooorld? Old Man Greed sent me with an uuupdaaaate," he called in a loud singsong voice to the empty room as he admired its expensive furnishings.
He nonchalantly made his way towards the cherrywood vanity table, looking around him as he went. He eyed several of Relena's accessories scattered on it. The sparkling array of jewellery was reflected in the vanity's mirror.
"Council's moving your return to Heaven up to the Septembeeeer..." He continued, turning away from the glittering ornaments. His sleek black tail silently picked up a ruby and silver hair clip and slipped it into one of his deep pockets. "Sooooo, your baby will spend its first six months theeeeere."
Duo meandered back to the centre of the room and rocked back and forth on his heels for a few minutes, waiting for anybody to show up.
Fuck. Duo thought. Now I'll have to tell Une myself. Hope she isn't in the mood to rip my tail out.
He cursed under his breath all the way to Lady Une's private offices, putting his colourful vocabulary in alphabetical order as he went. He had just arrived at T, muttering 'third husband of a two dollar skank', when he found himself in front of an imposing set of large double doors made of black wood.
Duo knew that peering around the door would not impress the harshly proficient colonel of Hell's army. He would have to enter confidently and get to the point quickly, hopefully without stuttering.
Duo straightened himself up, put a self-assured look on his face, opened the door, was greeted with the sight of Treize's head in between Une's legs, turned around, and closed the door again.
Duo put his back against the door and blinked a few times, trying to scrape the image off his cornea.
"Okay!" He yelled loudly. "I'll just tell you later! After I...scrub my eyes out with Brillo pads."
He said this last bit to himself and then walked down the hallway, twitching slightly.
Since the conception ceremony was more private and less formal than a wedding, Noin wore a pair of jeans and a tasselled suede shirt. This had caused some unrest with the Councils but then Noin had reminded them that the ceremony would be taking place on Earth, and therefore her outfit should match Earth customs. Besides, neither Lady Une nor Relena cared a lick what she wore.
She hovered over a large gold cauldron that had been carefully set up in Room 207 of the hotel that the wedding had taken place in. Heero had helped her move the heavy desk to the centre of the room, which was what the cauldron was now sitting on. And now he watched silently from his sitting position on the bed as Noin moved about her work, quickly and efficiently dropping specific herbs into the cauldron.
He looked as though he was contemplating the piles of herbs and roots on the bedspread in front of him but his mind was a million miles away, in Hell with a gorgeous demon.
Recently, he'd been wondering why his stomach tied itself in knots when he remembered the way the demon had looked at him during the wedding. Noin had told him that his name was Duo. He considered the possibility that he was growing ill. After a quick mental scan of his body's functions, he rejected that idea; everything was running smoothly, like he made sure it did. Heero eventually came to the conclusion that the stomach butterflies were Earth-based somehow.
"Heero, you're more stoic than usual. Pass me the Korean Ginseng and some Licorice and tell me what's bugging you."
Heero handed her the ingredients and then explained his dilemma in an orderly fashion. Noin was his only real friend, so he had no qualms about opening up to her. She kept her eyes on the lukewarm swirling liquid in the cauldron and kept her ears on Heero. When he was done, she said,
"Well...you're welcome to do some research on it here on the Earth after our mission's done."
Heero nodded and went back to gazing at the few roots left to be added to the mixture. Noin sighed to herself. She wasn't a demon, so she knew what love looked like. And she wasn't an angel, so she understood lust. But as the mediator, she was forbidden to speak about love or lust with either angels or demons. And she had grown unparalleled at gracefully avoiding both topics.
This was unusual though. What Heero had described sounded more like lust than love. But that was impossible.
Not long after Noin completed her brew, Relena and Lady Une entered together. Noin thought they looked much like they had at the wedding: determined to go through with anything for their plan to work. Although they did look more relaxed in each other's presence.
Heero stood in the background with his arms crossed as usual while Noin greeted the two Queens warmly. She then instructed them to put their hands over the swirling mixture.
As they followed Noin's instructions, Heero noticed that Relena had lost some of the heavenly glow that she had earlier. Either Hell was having an effect on her or it was the very pink outfit she was wearing. But even less angelic, Relena looked happier than she had before. Heero decided that the marriage must be going well.
Noin moved her arms in large circles over the potion and a stream of misty light sprang out of the cauldron and curled around her hands. She then gestured to Relena, sending the energy into the young girl's womb.
Relena immediately doubled over until the misty light had completely disappeared inside her belly. Before she could straighten, Noin handed her a bright red bucket. Relena took it without thinking and stood up.
"What's this for?" She asked, glancing into it and finding it empty.
Noin paused and her eyes flickered to the digital clock next to the bed. "After the ceremony is complete, the carrier's morning sickness begins straight away. You'll start feeling nauseous any second now."
Relena grimaced. "Are you sure? I feel okay."
"Give it a minute. Trust me."
So they waited for a minute. They were all absolutely silent. Une and Noin stared at Relena, who looked around the room. Heero's gaze slipped out the window. Then another minute went by.
"I honestly think I'm okay. I really don't feel sick at all," Relena said, setting the bucket down on the bed.
Noin looked at her. "That's bad. This is very bad."
"It's bad that I'm not sick to my stomach?"
Noin rubbed her eyes and then abruptly stared hard at Relena's belly.
"No...the conception took. You are definitely pregnant. But if you're not sick...Damnit! That means the baby is already its own entity."
"Which means what?" Lady Une asked.
Noin glared. "Meaning that one or both of you has been screwing around."
Heero lifted an eyebrow and Une gave her a withering look before saying, "This is Hell. That's what happens."
"But for a pregnancy to legitimately be your heir, you have to focus all your energy into its creation. You messed it up. When I told you to concentrate your sex energies, you didn't focus on your spouse. I want to know who you were each focusing on during this oh-so-holy ritual." Noin added more anger to her glare as she stared down the two Queens. She was probably the only creature in all three realms that could talk to them in such a manner and not get her head taken off.
"Treize," Une said, looking Noin straight in the eye. Lady Une did not like to be told that she fucked up. Noin scowled.
"Gluttony. That bastard never did think beyond sating his wants."
Une frowned at that comment but Noin had already turned to Relena, who was persistently staring at her shoes and blushing hotly. Noin tapped her foot and folded her arms.
"Well?"
If possible, Relena's blush intensified as she mumbled her answer without looking up.
"What was that?"
"Dorothy," Relena said through gritted teeth, her head still down.
Heero smirked in spite of himself. He couldn't help it. This was hilarious.
Noin rolled her eyes and grumbled, "If that isn't Lust to a tee..."
"So what does that mean?" Relena said quickly as she raised her head.
Noin glared again and managed to spit out. "It means that your child is not a combination of Heaven and Hell royalty, but rather a combination of Heaven royalty, Hell royalty, and Lust and Gluttony."
There was a long pause as Noin's words sank into everyone's heads. Finally, Relena spoke.
"Well," she said tentatively. "That can't be too bad, right?"
"He'll just have to deal with an enormous identity crisis," Heero deadpanned. Noin scowled at him but he couldn't keep a small smile off his face. Instead of chewing him out for inappropriate humour, Noin turned back to Relena.
"If the parents' sex magic isn't focused during a pregnancy, other localized relevant energy currents spiral out of control. Things bleed into each other and energies become reversed. It gets real chaotic. And since you two happen to be producing the first heir to the throne of all the realms, the repercussions could throw the entire world's goddamn system off!"
Noin fumed for the entire train trip. Heero warily sat across the aisle from her and watched her out of the corner of his eye as she kept clenching her fists. The entrance to Heaven was in the New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art but because the Seven Deadly Sins had wanted the wedding nearer to the entrance to Hell, the hotel had been in New Jersey.
After the train pulled to a stop in Penn Station, Heero had some difficulty in following her fast-paced gait as she charged through the crowd. A simple disguising spell had been cast on his wings for protection. It didn't hide his wings so much as encourage people to ignore them. It was a very subtle form of magic and required less energy than other camouflage spells to cast.
The weather, while still warm, was occasionally punctured by chilly breezes. Noin didn't notice as she marched to the street curb. After failing to hail a cab (and a very uncharacteristic storm of cursing), Noin stalked over to a payphone and began viciously punching in numbers.
Heero followed her silently. He was more amused than concerned by the entire situation, though he knew it was serious. He briefly marvelled at how dry his sense of humour was becoming as he approached the grimy payphone stall.
"Just pick me up. And make it quick!" Noin snapped into the phone, which she was strangling.
"I'm going to stay here," Heero said. Noin wouldn't need his protection in Heaven.
Noin didn't respond and then abruptly vanished into thin air. The poor phone--which had had quite enough at this point--dropped unceremoniously and clanged as it swung against the stall wall.
Heero calmly settled the phone back onto its hook and then turned to face the street. He then set about trying to find a library so he could start researching what the odd feeling in his belly was.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to rpln andRavenMistress for the reviews. They definitely made my day.