A/N: Thanks for your patience with me as I slowly (but surely) finished this chapter. Well here it is...more Riku/Sora slashy goodness!
Hands: Chapter 2
I wouldn't have expected to see Sora like that. Not in a million years. As far as I knew, he was in love with me, and I had no reason to expect any different until the day we finally admitted our feelings for each other. But now, I wasn't even aware of what I'd thought before, only the emotions that I was trying to fathom now. What was going on? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something to make him think that I didn't love him? Of course I loved him. He was my only reason left to pull through the day. He was like a sunrise in an endless night. Anytime I felt like crying, he was there for me to lean on, to comfort me, to wipe away my tears, crack a joke, and finally force me to smile. I always had a nagging thought at the back of my mind. If I could cry with him, why couldn't he cry with me? Anything that upset him was between him and Riku. I was never even an option. I wasn't important enough. I shoved the thought away and dismissed it as a "boys don't cry" matter.
But if they didn't cry, then why did Riku?
I could hear him. Every night, I could hear him. He would punch the wall until his knuckles bled, then scream at his pillow until his throat was sore. I never knew why. At least not consciously. Ever heard of selective hearing? But now I knew...now I could figure out why he would scream at no one, "Why can't I have him?" and why, for all this time, my hands just weren't strong enough. My hands.
Sora would never be mine. What was I going to do? Kill Riku? He was my friend—they both were—and nothing was going to change. I loved Sora too much to make him sad. But I'll admit this: I always had a hope that somehow, Sora would be "cured"—that he would come back to me, and finally cry on my shoulder.
Exactly what went through my mind at the moment I saw Riku's lips on my Sora's, I don't remember. Maybe it was shock. Maybe it was sadness. Or maybe I felt nothing. Maybe I had known it all along, and I was just too numb to react to the truth.
Nomatter what I felt then, I made a simple decision: to confront my friends and come to terms with what had happened. I knew there was no turning back. So instead of inviting just Sora to dinner, I invited them both.
It was quiet at first. Awkward. I laid a few things out on the table; nothing was touched. They just stared at their plates like I was their mother and they'd broken a rule. I swear, their faces would have been comical if it weren't under those particular circumstances. Oh, what am I saying? I've avoided saying it the entire time. It would have been comical if I hadn't just discovered they were gay. There, I said it.
"Well," I said sarcastically, "this is just the most wonderful dinner party I've ever been to."
No one laughed. No one even moved. I couldn't stand it. They were so...mopey.
"Oh, for Pete's sake," I said, and I threw a clump of food at Sora.
He stared at me, shocked, and then grinned a little. Then wider.
"I think Kairi's just challenged us to a food fight, Riku," he whispered threateningly.
"Hmmm," he said, picking up a little clump of food.
In less than a second, we were all attacking each other, throwing food, and wrestling until we ran out of breath. We collapsed on the ground, smiling wide, and rolled over to face the other two.
"Well that was fun," Riku commented.
"And it always will be, guys. No matter what or who you are, I will always be your friend."
And that was when I saw Sora cry for the very first time. The sight of the two of them crying together was something I'll never forget. Because the way they looked at each other was so affectionate, the way they held hands so moving. And I knew that even though I could never have Sora now, those two would make sure that I was always wanted.