Disclaimer: Don't own it. Not claiming to own it. Only borrowing.

A/N: Thanks to Because-I-Got-High for the first review! )

The owls swooped in, carrying the post. The whoosh of hundreds of wings stopped any attempt at conversation. An owl landed in front of Dean, the Daily Prophet tied to its leg.

"Why do you bother to get that?" Ron asked sourly. He was glaring at his meal, a plate of toast, eggs, and bacon, as if it had committed a crime against him.

"Need to know what's going on," Dean replied. He opened the Prophet. I saw he was scanning the obituaries. Probably looking for someone he knew, making sure none of his loved ones were dead.

I didn't care. Harry didn't either. He was staring into space, blank expression on his face. I wondered, just for a moment, if he knew what it was like to feel empty, devoid of happiness, or even sorrow. To be completely apathetic. To feel as if there's nothing but a gaping hole where your chest should be. To not care about anything anymore, not even those who are supposed to love you and be loved by you.

I stood up abruptly, knocking the table with my thighs. My glass almost toppled, but only spilled a small bit of pumpkin juice out.

"I'm going to the library," I said. I left without waiting for them to answer, but I could feel eyes on my back as I walked.

The library is, once again, my sanctuary. Though now it's for a different reason. Before I would actually read. Now I can just seclude myself in a corner, maybe back in the section where you can find information on things to do with History of Magic, hold up a book, and pretend to read. Or not even bother with the pretext. I could just sit and think and stare and try not to think.

There are so many things I don't know. That used to bother me, but I find that many things I once cared about don't matter anymore. I wished they did, though. I wished I could throw myself into my studies, believing blindly that they were important. I wouldn't have to think of anything besides them, then. But there are things in life that are more important than grades and knowledge.

I can't think of those things now. I can't think of anything that's important to me anymore. Does that mean I'm a bad person, or just being dramatic?

Do I even care?

I realized I should get to class. I could hear everyone leaving. I could hear the hundreds of footsteps in the hall. Students flowing along in the tides of life and responsibility.

I got to my feet and decided to blend with the crowd and try to pretend I belonged in the flow.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

I once liked Charms, but now I've decided it's a terrible class. So much disorder and noise...it would be wonderful if it was silent.

"I...can't...get...this...right!" Ron growled, waving his wand violently about. I wanted to tell him he never got things right on the first few tries, that he didn't concentrate enough, that I know that if he could get away with it he wouldn't put any effort into anything.

But I stayed silent. I didn't speak my mind. I didn't glare at him, or yell at him, or say anything derogatory. I just slipped into the Ways of Hermione Granger and showed him what he was doing wrong. He grudgingly thanked me and performed a decent Scourgify charm.

He didn't even realize I couldn't stand to be around him anymore. I wondered how I ever could.

A/N: Constructive criticism is extremely welcome! I want to make this the best it can be, and I won't know what to do unless you let me know what I might possibly be doing wrong.