Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
A/N: This is completely non canon. Lorelai has been with Max, but never got to the marrying part, and she's been with Jason too. Christopher is Rory's father and a friend, nothing more. Luke's last question at that table at "Sniffy's" and something Lorelai said when Luke showed her that old bedroom in a later episode made me think of this. I didn't want to write it, but it keeps popping up and so I gave in.
Rating is for upcoming chapter.
UN – MASKED
Their first actual date. Luke had taken her to this little restaurant. Obviously a place that was special to him. He
seemed to be pretty close to the owners and due to their saying, he had never "brought a girl".
Lorelai realised, that as long as she might have known Luke, he was still good for a surprise or two. She was
looking at one of them right now. Unable to speak at first. The electricity that had been between them the
whole evening formed into a warm knot in her stomach.
"I can't believe you kept this! You kept this in your wallet…..kept this in your wallet…"
"…Eight years", Luke confirmed. He looked her directly in those unbelievable blue eyes, trying to let her see
what he found to be so hard to put in words.
"Eight years…" Lorelai echoed, not hiding the impact his words had on her.
Yeah, Luke thought, eight years. Eight years of secretly wanting to be with her. Eight years of seeing her date
other men and running from each relationship before it became too serious. He had watched her struggling to
find the balance between the need to be with someone and the urge to push everyone away that came too
close. He had tried to let her know that he would be there whenever she was ready. That he was the one she
could count on, without question, without having to give something in return. Whenever she called for help, he
was there. And even when she didn't, he did everything possible to be around, in case she might need him. He
knew better than to push matters. He had seen her bolt too often. Over the years he had come to believe that
her pushing people away was an act of self-defence. How he knew he had no idea. He just did, just as he knew
that her machine-gun talking was her way to hide her insecurities. He had always sensed that she was by far
more fragile than she would ever admit. He had seen the effects her fights with Emily had on her and how
subconsciously she felt she was not good enough to be loved by her mother. As if a child should have to earn
the right to be loved. From the bits and pieces that she had told him by now, he could imagine how tough
she'd had to be on herself. Being pregnant so young, raising the child, Rory, without her parents help, without
a partner she could lean on. And all the time she was strong for her daughter and did everything possible to
appear to be happy, if not a bit crazy, and self-confident. In his eyes she was the most remarkable woman he
had ever met, and the most beautiful.
And now it looked like he would finally get the chance to be the man that she needed.
He had folded the horoscope and put it back into his wallet.
"Lorelai, this thing we're doing here, me, you….I just want you to know that I am in, I am all in."
Lorelai for once in her life didn't know what to say. The way Luke looked at her clearly showed that he was
serious about this. He wanted a decision for life. "It's fine," she told herself, "I've already made up my mind
about this. I'm not going to screw it this time, not with Luke."
When she didn't respond, Luke, his eyes never straying from hers, continued.
"Does that……are you…….scared?"
Lorelai had to break eye-contact. He didn't know, he couldn't know. She had spent most of her live keeping
up the image of the self-confident and open minded, independent woman. Sure, Luke knew her better that
almost anybody else, except for Rory, but he couldn't know that.
He couldn't know how many hours she had spent thinking of exactly this situation, wondering what she
should do. People had been telling her that Luke "had a thing" for her for a long time, but she had refused to
believe it. She had successfully avoided seeing more than a friend in him. Until they had danced at Liz's and
TJ's wedding. There, in his arms, moving closer and closer while they danced, she had felt so good, so safe.
And she had suddenly known that she was ready now, that she could do this. This time, she wouldn't bail out.
She still wasn't able to talk, so instead she looked back up to meet Luke's gaze. The warmth and care she saw
in his eyes made it easy for her to smile for him.
She knew that she would have to go all the way this time. Leaving, when things got too personal was not an
option. It had hurt to end her relationships with Max and Jason before things got critical. She had felt
miserable and lonely, had known damn well, that she did them wrong, but it had been a fair trade for some
time of almost leading a normal live. And it had helped to keep the picture right for Rory.
But with Luke, it couldn't be that way. He was too important for her, for her and for Rory.
She would have to tell him. She didn't know how yet, but she would have to let him see how she really was.
"It will be okay," she tried to calm herself; "This is Luke. The one guy you trust more than anybody else in the
world. It will be okay, it has to."
Tbc