disclaimer : I don't own the characters...the song isn't mine either but i guess you all knew that !

Okay people , just to make everything clear , The first flashback is written from Neptune's point of view , the second one is just written from normal point of view...Well that was all i guess...

Chapter 12 : When i tried to push you away...

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

Neptune lay in her bed and just stared at the ceiling.Her eyes were red and swollen from crying , but she had stopped eventually.She found herself running out of tears.Somehow it felt good , just to cry and now it had stopped.There were no tears left to cry.

Slowly she closed her eyes.This wasn't the first time Neptune had ever felt so confussed.She had felt this way her entire life before Haruka came into her life.Alone , hurt and sad.

Flashback

'' Do you see that girl ?'' I could hear people ask others behind my back.This time it was a brown haired girl who was talking to a blonde and handsome boy.I knew they were talking about me.I could feel their eyes burn into my back.All those whispers which contained my name.'' They say she's a witch.'' The girl added.

I heard the boy laugh at that , telling the girl there are no such things like witches.What did he know ? I know i'm not i witch , i never said i was.They all assumed i was one simply because i loved being alone.But that doesn't make me a witch does it ?

I walk out of the cantina as fast as i can.It was sad i had to walk through that stupid cantina everyday just to reach my goal.Everyday during lunch i would spent my time in the art class , by myself.Sometimes just to hide away from all those people and sometimes just to paint away my sorrows.

'' Hey , wait up !'' Suddenly someone yells.I smile and continue to walk through the empty halls of the building.Deep inside of me i wished that voice was calling out for me but who wanted to talk to a ' witch '.

'' You , wait !'' The same husky voice yells.I stop walking and turn around to face that blonde boy.He was talking to me ? As i look around i notice i was the only one here.He had to be talking to me.

'' Yes ?'' I ask with a cold and stern voice.He just smiles at me.

'' Ah , you don't have to go all icy with me , i wanted to ask you if i could join you ...I mean , ever your kind should get tired of being alone.'' The blonde said to me.I had never felt so angry in my whole life.

'' What do you mean with ' My kind ' ?'' Was this boy pissing me off for fun or what ?

He just smirked innocently.'' The lonely kind...'' He answered taking me by suprise.I knew he was going to answer my question but somehow i just expected something else.'' So can i come with you miss ? Or do i have to go again ?''

I just stare at him.'' I fi tell you to leave , would you go ?''

He smiled before shaking his head.'' Nope..''

End flashback...

That had always been one of Haruka's strong points , to never give up. Neptune opened her eyes again when she heard someone knocking on the door. Slowly she stood up and wiped away the tears wihch had felt during her little memory.She hadn't even noticed she started crying until now.

She took a deep breath and opened the door. First she thought it would be Pluto who was coming to apologize for what happened earlier but when she looked up she saw someone else , someone who she thought never to see here again.

Haruka.

The blonde just smiled sadly at Neptune.'' Hi...''

Neptune was left speechless. What was Haruka doing here? When did she come back ? Neptune had so many questions but she didn't know how to ask them.'' Hi..'' She just said and tried to sound not too suprised by Haruka's visit.

'' Can i come in ?'' The blonde asked.Neptune shook her head. She didn't want Haruka in her house right now. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to drown in the sweet memories of the past.

'' It won't take long , promise..'' Haruka now said sounding desperate.

'' We can talk here , there's no one around.'' The aqua haired senshi said with a stern voice.

The blonde just nodded.'' Well if that's what you want..'' Haruka said and turned around again.'' Then i don't have anything to say to you..'' With that she started to walk away.Neptune had to act fast now.

'' No wait ! C-come in...'' She fastly said before Haruka was gone.

'' Never mind...'' Haruka answered as she walked away not planning to give Neptune a second look.

' Stupid. Stupid. Stupid !' Neptune wanted to die so bad on that moment. Not that someone would mind. Slowly she closed her eyes again not bothering to go inside again.

Flashback..

The next day Michiru walked through the cantina , she was searching around in the hope the blonde wouldn't see her. Yesterday the blonde had kept her company the whole time until the next bell.

It wasn't like Michiru hated the blonde or something but she had been alone for such a long time it was weird to suddenly have someone who wants to talk to you and wants to listen.It seemed unrealistic.

When Michiru finally reached the empty classroom she was surpised to see it not as empty as she expected.In the middle of the room stood the blonde tomboy who was gazing at a painting Michiru had painted some weeks ago.

The painting showed two women , one of them was surrounded by darkness and the other one by light.

When Haruka heard Michiru enter the room she turned around with a smile.'' Light and dark.'' Michiru looked up into the green eyes of the blonde iwth a confussed look. The blonde turned back to the painting before she answered.'' This painting , it's about light and the darkness , ying and yang , evil and good , black and white , did you paint this ?''

Michiru nodded with a blush but then remembered Haruka couldn't see her.'' Yes.'' She whispered. Now Haruka turned around with an emotion written on her face the aqua haired girl couldn't quite describe.

'' You are talented , very talented i must say...''

'' Thanks , but what are you doing here ?'' Michiru asked slightly annoyed.If this boy wanted something from her why didn't he just say so.It felt like he was playing with her emotions. In the past three years Michiru had gone to this school but nobody ever talked to her , well only if the wanted to scold her. And now here was Haruka , doing nice and pretending to be the best friends.

'' I decided i like you so much , i wanted to keep you company. You are much different from all girls.'' Was the tomboy's reply.

'' Ah you mean , i'm not sucking up to you or trying to seduce you ?'' The aqua haired girl asked causing Haruka to laugh for a moment but then the blonde shook her head.

'' What i meant was , they are annoying , always trying to go out with me , that's not how i want to spent my lunchbreak , but you on the other hand , you don't talk much and as far as i can tell you are not in love with me or some kind.''

Michiru smiled bitterly.'' Yeah right , if you think they are so annoing then why don't you turn them down , instead of always going out with them ? I'm not stupid mister Tenoh.''

Again Haruka laughed a bit.'' No i've noticed , you're not the one to mess with.And you are stupid if you really believe i go out with those girls , they follow me. If you really took the time to get to know me then you'll figure out i'm not that bad.''

Michiru just rolled her eyes.'' What do you want from me , if you want me in your fan club you are sadly mistaken.'' Again Haruka shook her head.

'' Nah my fanclub is full.'' She joked earning a weird look from Michiru.'' Anyway , don't mention me , just pretend i'm not here if that helps you.''

'' But that would be lying , you are here and i'd just get annoyed with you.''

'' Ah you have a big mouth you know ? I'm only trying to be friendly here , give me some credit.'' The blonde said sounding very hurt.Michiru looked up again. She wanted to believe this boy so bad , that all he was saying was true. But there had to be a catch.

'' Don't insult me. You don't know me at all.''

'' Let me...get to know you.'' The blonde whispered taking Michiru by suprise.This boy kept suprising here , what would be next.

'' I know what you are after.'' Michiru suddenly said.'' But you're not getting any , i don't like boys and if you want to tell the whole school , go ahead they don't like me already , you can't do me any damage .''

Now it was the blonde's turn to be shocked.

Michiru smiled. Yeah , that made him shut up.Finally.'' So now you are in the disgusted fase , the next one will be walking away and then you get the ignore Michiru fase , just like my parents and all my other friends.'' She explained with a smirk on her face but when Haruka looked up again with a sweet smile Micihru's smirk dissapeared.

'' what are you smiling about ?''

Haruka sat down on the chair which stood next to her.'' What if i would tell you i'm not a boy , what would you say to that ?''

Micihru thought about it for a moment and decided to be very stubborn in answering this crazy guy.'' I'd say that you need some serious help.'' Haruka looked up with a serious look on her face that made Michiru wonder if Haruka meant what he had said.'' That can't be...''

'' What do you want me to do , to prove it to you ? You want me to dance naked on the table ?'' The blonde hissed finally losing her patience.

Micihru shook her head and sat down next to Haruka. She didn't look at the blonde but she knew Haruka was looking at her.'' Nah , you don't have to do that naked dance.'' Michiru started.'' But if you want to...''

She could hear Haruka laugh.

'' So i pass ?'' The tomboy asked.'' I can stay ?'' Micihru just nodded.

'' But only if you promise not to tell anyone i'm gay ..''

'' Deal but only if you promise not to tell anyone i'm a girl.''

'' Okay .'' Michiru said and this time with an honest smile on her face.

End Flashback...

Neptune woke up from her memory noticing she was still in the hallway.She decided it would be now or never to prove her love to Haruka and started running into the darkness of the night in the hope to find Haruka.

While she was running through the palace hall , she remembered her first kiss she and Haruka had ever shared.Michiru's first kiss from anyone.It was after they became Sailor Senshi. After a youma fight.

That was it !

Micihru finally knew what she could do to win Haruka back. It had been there all the time , it was so simple.

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know

Pff i worked so hard on this chapter , i had an idea of writing it but then i forgot and i came up with this ! Anyway i hope you liked it. In the next chapter Neptune is going to try to win Uranus back , but will it work or is it to0 late ?

Ah and what about Chu ? Do you think she is the one who's behind Haruka's memory loss ? Please review and let me know and again thanks for all the reviews so far !