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Disclaimer: Don't own it, not claiming to.

"Hey Harry, Ron…" I said quietly.

"Hey, Hermione," they chorused. They seemed uneasy and I found I couldn't quite blame them.

I stepped farther into the room and felt my resolve beginning to leave me and practically threw myself onto Ron's bed next to him and clutched the sheets as if they would keep me anchored there. I took a deep breath and looked first at Ron, then at Harry, then back at my feet.

"I'm really sorry for being such an idiot for the past few months," I said.

"We're sorry for not being there for you," Ron replied.

"And I'm sorry for being a jerk," Harry said quickly.

Ignoring Harry for the moment, I responded to Ron. "You guys didn't even know what was going through my head, you had no way of actually being there."

"We're still sorry," Harry muttered.

"It's fine."

"We, uh…we talked to your parents," Ron said hesitantly. I felt my shoulders tense and my grip on Ron's sheets tightened. "They say they're sorry, and your dad says he understands if you don't want to see them. Your mum wants to know why you didn't just say something. And we kind of…you know, want to know why you never told us what happened, let alone that you had a brother."

I sighed and carefully removed one of my hands from the sheets and rubbed my forehead. "I just…didn't want to talk. And I never really thought I really needed to tell you about Nick. I only saw him during the summer holidays, anyway. It's not like he was…an intricate part of my life."

"But he was your brother!" Ron exclaimed, probably the most shocked because of his many siblings.

"Excuse me if I had other things to think about," I said coldly.

"Did you at least care about him?" Harry asked.

"Yes!" I nearly shouted, feeling close to tears. "Of course I loved him. It was just…I didn't want…I thought that it would be better to keep things separate, you know? It's not easy to mix a Muggle life and a magical life. And thinking about Nick and not being able to be there while he grew up was hard enough. I felt like such a bad sister, and I didn't need you two asking how he was doing and not knowing the answer."

"I'm sorry, Hermione," they both mumbled.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead again with a shaking hand. I furiously wiped at my eyes, scratched my cheek, rubbed my nose, blinked a few times. I ran a hand through my hair then put my elbows on my knees and let my head rest in my hands. I felt Ron put his hand on my back and tensed against the contact. He either didn't notice or ignored it, because he didn't remove the offending appendage.

"It's okay to be upset, Hermione," Ron said quietly, and that statement was my undoing as I began to cry. I took in deep, shaky breaths to try not to sob, sucked up snot quite a few times, and made a large wet spot on my jeans. Harry came over and sat on my other side and the two waited silently for me to pull myself together.

"I can't deal," I said through the tears.

"It's all right. We're here, and you can talk to us," Harry said.

I nodded and wiped my eyes, though more tears came anyway. It was a while before I finally calmed down, and although thoughts of everything I could tell them swam through my head, I remained quiet and allowed them to begin telling me that we would all just relax and have fun for the last few days of break.

Later, as we sat and ate lunch and I had regained my ability to smile, though my hands still shook slightly, I decided that crying doesn't make you feel much better, but having friends certainly did.

A/N: Concrit is still welcome!