I came here to avoid the gossip, the rumors, but it seems that they are inevitable wherever I go. Today I heard two of the servants gossiping about me behind my back. Of course, they did not know I was there or see me, for they would not have done so because of my fierce temper. I fear that I shall always have to wear a mask and be alert. Not what I want3ed at all. Can I not have any peace and relaxation? Once again I have taken to staying to the floor "set aside" for me as if it were a dungeon.
I do not know how much more of this I can take…. Perhaps it would be easier to just leave? Take away the Guirre-de Chey family's trouble and pain I have caused once again. It is just about springtime, and I was planning on taking up the suggestion offered by Madame Tolet. Hmmm…. Paris….
I find myself once again on a plane. This time, back to Paris. Once again, I am cramped and uncomfortable, but soon I won't be. Why? Because the plane will soon land. I sigh. How can people relish traveling by air? I cannot comprehend it.
The city of love is full of so many people. It is remarkable that I haven't had a major nervous breakdown or panic attack yet. I prefer the nighttime to go out, more frequently than not, as there are less people about then. But sometimes I do go out in the daylight. At those times I choose a pretty clever "little" mask of own creation. It is flesh colored, and moves like a real face would! Clever, no? Most can't tell that I am any different—except for my golden eyes—when I put on the mask! This mask was the one I had on today as I ventured outside of my townhouse. I have hired a housekeeper to cook my meals and keep the house clean for me—all I am able to make is tea, which I do very well. She is Madame Tolet's sister, Mademoiselle Juliana Bonmart.
I decided to see and take a tour of the Opera Garnier. See how some of the money has been used, I think to myself. Then Erik speaks up from the depths of my dark and lonely soul: See how things have changed since I left…. "Shut up, Erik," I spit inside my mind. "I do not need you to make me cause a scene!"
"Excuse me, mademoiselle," I say smoothly. "Would this be where the tour starts?"
"Yes," she says with a bit of an American accent. She turns and looks at my skeletal frame. "And who are you, sir?"
"I am known as the Comtess de Guirre. Aria Guirre, at your service," I "boast", adding the last with a flourish and a bow. She looks confused. Most people, when they see me, they think that I am a man. It is true that I am flat chested, but I do not have a man's genitalia to put it lightly. I appear very androgynous, which is not helped by my dislike towards dresses.
She starts off by telling a bit about the history of the opera house. After that rather dry speech, she asks how many had heard of the "Phantom of the Opera". Almost everybody raises their hands. I reluctantly raise mine. Deep inside my mind Erik says, "Opera Ghost, Opera Ghost! How many times have they been told differently?" I reply to my soul, Ah yes, I know, but people only know what they are told... and most have not even read Leroux's original book, which favored the boy, not you Erik, and had a lot of the facts wrong.
We reach the outside of the infamous box five. I can feel his personality taking over. Behave, Erik.
"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the famous, or rather infamous, box five of legend. Legend has it that it was and still is haunted by the Opera Ghost," she tells the group. Erik is feeling quite mischievous.
I throw my voice (Erik is in control now) to be heard to be coming from the empty room. "You have forgotten my salary! Beware! If my demands are not met, this opera house will have a curse upon it!" I followed with a mirthless, deranged laugh. Great Erik, I think to myself. Now what do I do? The group, including the tour guide looks genuinely frightened—some are even white as a ghost and look about to faint! I feign terror myself, but inwardly I laugh.
"What was that?" Someone whispers.
I answer, in jest, "It must have been the Ghost." My face does not betray me at all.