Cyclops's Bad Medicine

Author's Note: Hello to all my fans! This is L1701E! Sadly, due to new rules, authors are no longer allowed to write responses to their reviewers, so there will be no more review responses written by me. I hope this doesn't stop anyone from reviewing my stories, because I do appreciate your reading and reviews. Thank you for understanding, and enjoy this new chapter!

Disclaimer: "That's sick!" - Eric Cartman, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Chapter 3: Cyclops Reborn!

The Xavier Institute

"WAAAAAAAUGH! HELP ME!" Peter, or Piotr (Whichever language you spoke) Rasputin, aka the big Russian metal-skinned mutant X-Man codenamed Colossus, screamed as he raced down a hall. Flying behind him was a big metal girder, occasionally bonking him on the head.

Clang!

"OW!" Peter screamed, holding his head. He was in his metal-skinned form, but being whacked on the head with a girder still hurt like anything.

Clang!

"OW! JEAN! I'M SORRY!"

Clang!

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it, buster!" Jean Grey, the red-haired X-Man with the powers of telepathy and telekinesis, snarled as she raced after the large Russian. She was using her telekinetic powers to move the girder which was bashing poor Colossus's head. "You had better pray to God that Scott ends up alright!"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Piotr screamed in self-defense.

Clang!

"OW!" The Russian howled. "I'M SORRY! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I DIDN'T INTEND TO HIT SCOTT! OUCH! THAT HURTS!" The two raced by Ray Crisp, an electrokinetic ex-Morlock codenamed Berzerker, and Roberto da Costa, a Brazilian kid who could absorb solar energy and use it to transform into a solid black humanoid form that could fly, fire concussion blasts, and had superhuman strength. The two were playing a video game as a way to settle another one of their arguments.

"Man, and some say I have a temper." Ray winced.

"Remind me to never never never never make Jean Grey mad." Roberto shuddered.

The infirmary

A giggling Scott got to his feet and staggered around the room.

"Whee…" He giggled. He noticed his uniform hanging on a wall. A wide grin spread across his face.

The Institute

"JEAN!" Piotr screamed. He raced into the Common Room, where several of the X-Men and the Misfits were hanging out. A few of them were trying not to get into fights.

"Whoa!" Althea gasped, her jaw agape and eyes wide. Piotr tripped.

"LOOK OUT!" He screamed when he fell towards the couch.

"Yipe!" Paul exclaimed. He was playing an acoustic guitar on the couch. Tabby, Amara, and Rogue were sitting with him enjoying the music. The girls screamed and scattered as Peter stumbled towards the couch. With a scream, Piotr tumbled toward the couch and fell through it with a THUD!

"OW!" Piotr screamed. The girder that was chasing him started pounding him repeatedly. "OW! HEY! HELP ME!" Several X-Men and Misfits raced up to a nearby Jean and started restraining the screaming redhead.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Jean screamed. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL HIM! NEEEARRRRRGH!" Jean screamed, howled, and cursed as several X-Men and Misfits dragged her out of the room.

"Zat was veird." Kurt Wagner, the demonic-looking blue-furred German X-Man codenamed Nightcrawler blinked.

"Thank you God." Piotr whimpered gratefully from his position: lying face down on the floor under the girder, surrounded by a broken couch. "Can someone help me?"

THWAK! A crimson beam ripped through the air, knocking the girder off Piotr.

"Uh?" Piotr got up and turned around.

"There's no need to thank me, fair citizen!" A voice boomed in a cheesy superhero theme. "All in a day's work for the Amazing Eye-Man!"

"What?" The kids blinked and saw what appeared to be Scott. He was standing in front of the doorway to the Common Room. His uniform was turned inside out, making it mostly yellow. The X over his chest was blue now, and he added a pair of blue boxer shorts over his costume. He had on his visor, and his face had a big cheesy grin.

"What in the world?" Lance tried to fight the urge to snicker.

"There's no need to fear, citizens!" Scott cracked a goofy pose. "The Amazing Eye-Man is here!" His grin never faltered.

"What…is…that?" Tabby blinked.

"It appears to be Scott wearing his uniform inside out." Paul snickered.

"FRED!" Dragonfly exclaimed as she walked out of the room. "You gave him the wrong cup!"

"Ohhhhh no…" Jake Wildfire looked up from his portable video game. He saw Scott in his costume. "Oooooh boy…" The red-haired Bostonian shrunk in his seat. Jean stomped into the room.

"Alright, what is…Scott?" A perplexed Jean blinked. Under his visor, Scott's eyes widened.

Oh, no! Scott gasped. It's Mandy Jones, my secret crush! If I'm not careful, she'll discover that I, Eric Lyons, am really Eye-Man! And if she discovers it, my enemies will use her to come after me! Evidently, Eric Lyons was the real name of the goofy superhero Eye-Man.

"Scott…" Jean blinked.

"Um, uh…" Scott stammered. "I must go! Crime to stop, and all that!" He ran off.

"SCOTT!" Jean screamed. The shocked telepath turned to the others. "What happened to him?"

"The realization that he was in a relationship with you made him snap." Pietro quipped. Behind him, a lamp levitated into the air and smashed him in the head. "OW!"

"Dragon…" Jean turned to Jake. "What happened? I'm a telepath, and I sensed you had something to do with this."

"Well, I uh…you see, uh…well…" Jake gulped nervously, pulling on the collar of his Legion of Doom t-shirt. "Well…uh…uh…you see, uh…well, uh…I felt, uh…I felt kind of bad for Scott, uh…so, uh…I let him watch an old DVD of my brother's." Kyle gulped.

"Knowing your brother, I'm surprised he's not running around dressed as Hulk Hogan or something." Amara sighed.

"My brother is also a huge comic book geek." Jake explained. "He's loved superheroes since he was a kid, too. You should see his comic collection. He's scary protective of it. Anyway, as a kid, he would watch this old 60s cartoon based on an old Silver Age character called Eye-Man."

"Eye-Man?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not surprised." Jake chuckled. "The cartoon is a cult classic, and the character hasn't been seen in the comic books since 1971, according to Kyle."

"Who's this Eye-Man?" Tabby wondered. "Sounds lame."

"By today's comic standards, he is." Jake nodded. "If I remember correctly, He was a scientist who got accidentally blasted in the face by some ray from outer space. He gained the power to fire all kinds of rays from his eyes."

"Kind of like Scooter, only dumber." Tabby rolled her eyes.

"Exactly."

"Okay, let me get this straight." Jean groaned. "Somehow Scott got convinced that he's a goofy superhero from the 1960s, and now he's going to run around and fight crime."

"He's going to think he's a superhero from a low-budget 1960s cartoon based on a goofy superhero comic book." Jake added.

"How did this happen?" Jean groaned.

"I think he can explain." Dragonfly walked in, dragging Fred by his ear.

"Well…" Fred admitted sheepishly. "I accidentally gave him a cup of regular hot chocolate…"

"And I think he may have used it to take his medication." Lina deduced.

"Oh, just great! Now what'll I tell the teachers about this?" Jean groaned.

Well, well, well! Looks like the X-Men and the Misfits have a new problem! What insanity will happen next? What super-heroics will Scott get up to? Can the X-Men and Misfits get him back to normal? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!