Chapter Three

Kate struggled with her heavy burden of carrying one side of Sawyer while Jack supported the other. They made their way back to the caves, still soaked from bringing the raft in from the ocean, and everyone gathered around as they entered the caves.

"Get back!" ordered Jack, as they lay the unconscious Sawyer on the reclined airline seat that served as a bed. Kate knelt beside him and clutched one of his hands as Jack shooed everyone away and hurried back. Kate gasped as Sawyer suddenly started to convulse, making horrid noises and choking sounds, like he was suffocating.

"Jack! What's happening!" she cried, turning to look at the doctor, who was calmly shuffling through his med bag.

"He's dying." Jack told her, not even bothering to turn and look. Kate gaped at him in horror and then back at Sawyer, who was still convusling. Tears ran down her cheeks as she tried to calm him.

"HELP him!" she yelled at Jack, who still hadn't turned around. She saw Jack shrug.

"He's already gone." he said. Sure enough, seconds later Kate felt Sawyer's body stop writhing and he lay still, his head lolled to the side.

"NO!" she screamed, clutching him close to her. "No, no, no, no, no..." she sobbed into his chest.

Kate sat bolt upright with a gasp, her shirt clinging to her from a layer of cold sweat covering her body, and she felt a tear trickle down her cheek. Slightly disoriented for a second, Kate wiped away the tear and looked around. She was in the dark infirmary cave, Sawyer at her side where he lay on the reclined airplane seat. She winced as she moved, her back aching from falling asleep on the hard ground. Jack's sudden voice startled her and she blinked up at him as he approached.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, kneeling beside her. "You were tossing and turning..." He sounded concerned. Kate let out a sleepy sigh and looked at him with a nod.

"I'm alright. How is he?" she asked, her voice still hoarse from sleep. Jack gave her a lingering look of concern but after giving her shoulder a quick squeeze, he stood and went over to where Sawyer lay.

"He's hanging on really well... He should be getting back to normal fairly soon." Jack told her in a confident tone. She nodded, though she wouldn't let herself completely believe him.

If she did let herself believe him, and something happened and Sawyer didn't make it, she would be so much more crushed than if she had not let herself believe he would be better in the first place. She had always been like that. Her mother called it running from her problems. Running was one of Kate's specialties. She sighed and watched numbly as Jack checked Sawyer's dressing, absently watching his steady hands gently pull back the tape. Her eyes flickered up to his face, watching the look of concentration in his eyes. Kate admired him for his doctoring talents; he'd patched up so many of them. He was always so prescise, so professional. Then she remembered how crushed he was after Boone had died. When he hadn't been able to save him. Kate had tried to comfort him, but he couldn't be comforted. With everything that had happened lately as well, she hadn't had time to try and talk to him. He seemed to be feeling better as he tended to Sawyer, and Kate wondered if he was slowly getting over the shock of Boone's death.

Kate jumped as Sawyer suddenly moaned softly, and she quickly looked up at Jack. Jack smiled gently.

"He's waking up." he told her. She immediately shifted so she was kneeling beside him, and took one of his hands in her own. Jack stood and walked away, and Kate shot him a grateful smile. He nodded and left the cave, and Kate turned her attention back to Sawyer. He was muttering incoherently, and his eyes were still closed, so Kate didn't know if he was dreaming or not. She carefully sat, perched on the edge of the cot, and leaned over him, gently brushing a few strands of hair out of his face. Kate let her hand rest on his cheek, gently stroking the skin, feeling the slight layer of sweat under the stubble. A small smile played on ehr lips as she looked down at him. He was getting better, she couldn see; his cheeks had regained some colour, and he was breathing steadier. She took his hand in both of hers again and held it tightly.

She hadn't realized until she had pulled off that blanket on the raft and saw all the blood just how much she really cared about him. Of course she would never have wanted to see him hurt in any way, but her whole body ached with the pain of seeing him like this. She was so glad that she had kept her promise to herself to go down to the beach everyday. What if she hadn't gone? He would still be out there, lying in the sun. She wondered if he would already have been dead. Most likely. The thought made her want to run away and burst into tears, but she resisted. It was hard for her not to run in this situation, but she forced herself to stay, if not for anyone but Sawyer. She needed to be here when he woke up, needed to tell him everything would be fine. She couldn't stand the thought of being off somewhere else when he woke.

"Its okay, Sawyer..." she whispered to him, carefully adjusting so she could lay down beside him on the cot. She buried her face into his neck and tried not to cry. "Everything's going to be alright..." She stayed like this a long time, one arm snaked over his chest as she pressed herself into his side, wishing she could do more to help, wishing she could take his pain from him. She suddenly heard footsteps and looked up to see Jack returning. He gave her a sympathetic smile and turned his head away, giving her privacy. She gave Sawyer a kiss on the cheek; a gentle brush of her lips, and slipped off the bed and onto the floor. She shivered as the cold stone seeped into her skin again, but she refused to move. She still held one of Sawyer's hands, and she was watching him sleep.

"Here..." said Jack's voice, and she turned to see him holding out a water bottle and a blanket. She smiled.

"Thanks." she said, giving him a small smile. He nodded and she took them, putting the water bottle down and wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. SHe returned to staring at Sawyer, and Jack knelt beside her again.

"If you need to talk, Kate... Remember I'm here, okay?" he said softly, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with tears for a moment before she blinked them back. She nodded.

"Thanks... I should be fine though." she gave him what she thought was a convincing smile. Not looking entirely satisfied, he nodded and stood, leaving the cave for the night after doing a quick check on Sawyer. Kate sighed as a voice rang in her head again; "stop running from your problems!"

"Shut up, Mom..." Kate muttered under her breath as she lay down beside the cot on the ground. After a long while she fell into an uneasy sleep, praying that she wouldnt be plagued with nightmares again.


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