Disclaimer: I don't own LOST. Plain and simple. Don't sue me, plzkthnx.

Chapter 4

Death. Jack had seen so much of it. He could never escape the faces of those he hadn't been able to save. Nor could he escape the faces of their loved ones. Boone's face swam in Jack's mind far too often in the days since the accident, quickly followed by Shannon's mournful gaze. That was the part of his job as a doctor that he hated. No, that he loathed. Telling people that their loved ones had died. It hurt him to see their faces, to be the source of the hurt. He knew that they knew it wasn't his fault, but he also knew that in some way, they would always blame him. Human instinct needed to place blame on something or someone, no matter how irrational. All Jack could do was sympathize, but he knew it would help little. He hated the feeling of helplessness.

And now, after he had finally started to get over the sudden death of Boone, Sawyer appears, not on his deathbed but close enough to cause Jack considerable stress. Kate as well. Jack sat by his medical supplies, watching Sawyer sleep on the cot, and watching Kate sleep on the hard ground next to the cot. Jack had tried to get her to leave, to go back to the beach and get a proper rest, somewhere softer than rock, but she hadn't listened. He made a point in his mind to make sure he brought her the cushions from an airplane seat that he himself had been using as a bed; she needed it more than him. Three nights on a cold stone floor were murdering her back, and though she wouldn't admit it, Jack knew better. She'd also developed a cough, which Jack guessed was from the cool dampness of the floor of the caves. But she was stubborn, and he couldn't move her. He admired that in her, and at the same time resented it; it made her difficult to deal with at times.

Jack was snapped out of his thoughts by a soft groan from Sawyer, and the doctor hurried over to his side. Jack quickly checked Sawyer's pulse, and watched as the man slowly opened his eyes, blinking slowly many times as he got used to seeing light after four or so days of having his eyes closed.

"Welcome back." Jack said quietly with a smile, trying not to wake Kate. Sawyer blinked a bit more rapidly, focusing on Jack's face.

"Doc?" he rasped, his throat dry. Jack smiled, glad Sawyer was able to recognize him right away. "How'd I get back here?" he asked hoarsely, his eyes still half-closed.

"Kate." Jack said simply, deciding to explain later when Sawyer was a little more alert. At her name, Jack saw Kate shift, but she didn't wake up. Sawyer seemed to sense the movement and turned his head, just then seeing her lying on the ground beside him. Jack watched the man as his eyes settled on her, his expression unreadable. "She hasn't left your side." Jack said softly. "Literally hasn't. If I hadn't brought her food, she wouldn't have eaten anything." he told Sawyer. A small smile crept over the Southern man's face.

"She's stubborn, ain't she?" he asked weakly, turning his head back so he was looking up again. Jack let out a soft laugh and nodded.

"Incredibly stubborn." he agreed. He reached up and gently peeled off the corner of Sawyer's bandage, wincing as the other man made a quiet but strangled noise of pain. "Sorry.." he breathed, trying to be as careful as possible. It was incredibly difficult, as the area around the wound was tender and swollen. Jack began to examine it; he was pleased to see that it was starting to heal well, that the angry red colouring of his flesh was receding slightly. He gingerly dabbed some medicated ointment on it and replaced the gauze, taping it gently so it was just held in place for now; he would change it again in an hour or so, after the ointment had sunk in, and Jack didn't want to cause the man more pain than he had to.

"Can I sit up?" asked Sawyer, his voice sounding tired. Jack thought about it for a moment and then nodded. He looped an arm around Sawyer's shoulders and helped him sit upright, shifting him so the man could lean against the headrest behind him.

"Are you feeling alright? Any dizziness?" asked Jack, watching Sawyer's eyes to see if they were focused and responding. Sawyer shook his head.

"Thirsty, though." he said, looking around. Jack nodded and stood. He grabbed a empty water bottle cut in half to form a cup and hurried out to the spring, filled it with the icy water and brought it back to Sawyer. The man took it with a shaking hand and nodded his thanks. He took a small sip and let out a sigh of relief as it rushed down his parched throat.

"Do you want me to take that?" Jack asked, indicating the cup as Sawyer's hand shook unsteadily.

"No, I got it, I-- Oops.." Sawyer was about to say he'd set it down when it slipped out of his hand. It landed right side up on the side of the cot but tipped over the edge, drenching the sleeping Kate's shoulders and head. Jack fought the urge to laugh as Kate woke with a splutter, sitting up immediately and wiping her face.

"What the-?" She exclaimed, looking down at herself. The corners of Jack's mouth twitched as he saw the streaks of darker material soaked by the water on her shirt. Kate looked around then, and Jack watched as her incredulous and slightly angered expression disappeared when she saw Sawyer. Sawyer gave her a weak smile.

"Sorry 'bout that, Freckles.." he said quietly, though he wore an amused smile, pointing at the cup that lay empty beside where she had been sleeping.

"Sawyer..." Kate's voice was full of emotion, Jack couldn't even decipher which ones he heard. Joy, shock, longing, all mixed into one. It almost pained Jack physically to see the hurt in her eyes, and it confused him. He watched the two look at each other for a moment before Kate launched herself at him. Sawyer winced as she first made contact with him but relaxed when she made sure she hadn't hit his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck. Jack felt slightly uncomfortable as she buried her face into Sawyer's good shoulder, and he was sure he heard the soft sounds of her crying. Sawyer had his head leaned against hers, his eyes closed as he carefully wrapped his arms around her. Jack stood and walked to the back of the cave, mindlessly organizing some of his supplies, trying not to listen as he heard the words "thought you were dead" float over to him from Kate's shaky voice. Sawyer was whispering reassurances to her and eventually Jack heard Kate pull away, sniffing and breathing shakily, obviously trying to pull herself together. He allowed her another minute before taking the glass, refilling it and returning to Sawyer's side, giving him the glass and handing him two painkillers to swallow.

"See if you can keep those down." Jack said gently, allowing Kate some dignity by not looking at her tear-tracked cheeks or the small wet spot on Sawyer's shoulder. He snuck a glance at her as she watched Sawyer swallow the pills, looking at her wet hair framing her face, the water from the cup mingling with the tears and making it difficult to distinguish which was which. Her eyes never left Sawyer's face, she watched him almost unblinkingly as he swallowed the pills and then rested his head back against the pillow, his eyes drooping. Kate made a move to embrace him again but Jack caught her shoulder gently and shook his head. "He needs to sleep." he told her softly. She looked at him reluctantly for a moment but nodded, backing off and kneeling beside him again, taking one of his hands in both of hers, his fingers curled gently around hers.

"Thanks Freckles..." mumbled Sawyer as his eyes closed, his grip on her hand slackening. After a few moments, when Kate seemed sure he was sleeping, she stood, her knees making faint cracking sounds as she straightened her legs. Jack followed suit, watching her as he stood. She looked around and then at Jack, and Jack suddenly felt a cold hand close around his heart as she shot him a hurt look.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" she whispered to him, not wanting to wake Sawyer. Jack sighed. He should have seen this coming.

"You needed the sleep, Kate." Jack whispered back. "You've barely slept at all since we found him, you're getting weak, even though you don't want to admit it." he informed her.

Jack turned away as Kate's face took on a stubborn, stoic look and walked to the back of the cave where he picked up a small towel. He tossed it to her, avoiding her look and began to cut up a mango. Out of the corner of his eye he watched her dry her neck and face and dab at her hair, having not bothered to touch it when she noticed Sawyer was awake. He finished slicing the mango and handed a few slices to Kate, who ate them standing up, still staring down at Sawyer. Jack swallowed his own pieces quickly and frowned at her. Deciding he had to take charge, he walked over to Kate and stood beside her.

"Come on Kate, let's go for a walk." Jack suggested, gesturing out the cave opening. Kate looked at him like he was crazy and took a step away.

"I'm staying here." she told him, kneeling down at Sawyer's side, trying not to wince as her sore knees rested against the hard ground yet again. Jack sighed and tried again.

"Seriously Kate, you need some air. Come on, we won't be long." he tried to persuade her. She shook her head and didn't look at him. Regretting that it had to come to force, Jack firmly but gently clasped her forearm and pulled her into a standing position.

"What are you doing!" she hissed at him as she stumbled to her feet. "Let go!" Jack shook his head.

"Not unless you come willingly." he told her, tugging on her arm. She tried to pull herself out of his grip, looking angry and stressed. "I guess that's a no, then.." he commented, leading her out of the cave.

"Let go of me!" she demanded in a normal voice once they were outside of the cave. Jack shook his head again.

"Kate, you really need to get some air. You're getting sick and I know you're sore." he said gently. Kate glared at him.

"I'm fine." she insisted, though her body chose that moment to make her cough, much to her apparent annoyance. Jack raised an eyebrow at her and tugged her along the caves towards the path that led to the beach. Once they were out of earshot of everyone, Kate pulled again. "Will you let GO!" she cried in frustration. Jack could hear the tears in her voice and looked down at her in concern. "I have to get back to him! I need to be there.." she sounded desperate and Jack's eyes filled with sympathy. "What if something goes wrong and I'm not there!" she demanded, looking borderline hysterical, her hair all over the place, her eyes wide.

"Kate. Kate, he's going to be fine." Jack said firmly, trying to get her to listen to him. She wouldn't listen and kept trying to pull away.

"Let go!" she demanded again, though quieter and with a definite crack in her voice. This time Jack knew she was crying, even though she had her face turned away from him. He pulled her close instead, wrapping his arms protectively around her. He expected her to struggle, but instead she leaned against him, crying into his shoulder, finally letting herself go. He rubbed her back soothingly, feeling her hot tears soaking through his shirt, felt her body shaking as it pressed up against his. Jack felt a sudden wave of desire for Kate wash over him and he did his best to push it away. He was slowly accepting that Sawyer and Kate were together, or would be soon enough. Jack had no one to blame but himself for not making a move sooner. But as Kate slowly pulled away and he looked down at her, at her red eyes still shining with tears, at her wet cheeks, her disheveled hair; he realized all he wanted to do was make her happy.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, gently brushing some hair out of her eyes. She sniffed and nodded slowly, looking slightly embarrassed. "Come on, lets walk." he told her, and for once, she didn't protest.

Review please!