1Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters.
Authors note: This is what happens when you drink too much Robitussin...
Jesus Cheese
Duo had been sick with a terrible cough for a number of weeks. He spent most of his day sprawled out on the couch with a bottle of Robitussin and the remote control to the tv. He didn't feel sick at all, but the rest of the pilots who had to share a safe house with him insisted that he take some cough medicine.
Quatre was fed up with Duo waking him up in the middle of the night with his coughs.
Heero nearly set off his gun as Duo managed a loud cough behind him while he was polishing his precious firearm.
Wu Fei saw it as an injustice to let everyone else get sick, and Trowa, out of all people, would always flinch at the sound of Duo's hacks.
They all banned together to force Duo to take Robitussin, and that's how the story begins.
It was another day on the couch for Duo, all the other pilots were out of the house (no one else wanted what Duo had ) and he was all alone.
He took it upon himself to make something to eat as his stomach began to growl. In a haze induced by the cough medicine, he made his way to the kitchen and proceeded to make himself a sandwich.
It took him about thirty minutes to complete the task because he forgot that a sandwich usually consisted of more than just bread. When he finished making it he stood in awe, the perfect sandwich, he thought.
It seemed that Duo wasn't as hungry as he thought he was, because after three bites he was full. He wanted to save the sandwich for later on that day, but as he made his way towards the refrigerator the ground became fuzzy and he began to fall...
He woke up to find remnants of the sandwich surrounding him. The tomato was near his chin, lettuce was all over the linoleum floor, and the cheese.
Surrounded by all the other parts of the sandwich the cheese was the one that caught Duo's eye.
He examined the strange shape it had made...it almost looked like...it almost looked like Jesus!
He couldn't believe it. The cheese so strongly resembled Christian God. It was in the shape of a man holding out his arms and it had mustard for eyes. It seemed to be speaking to Duo.
"I am Cheesus"
Duo starred down in amazement at the talking cheese, this was beginning to get a bit to weird for him.
" I may not believe in God, but that's taking it too far."
Duo did the only thing he could think of after that, he went to sleep, hoping that when he woke up Cheesus would be gone.