Cyclops's Bad Medicine

Disclaimer: "Yeah, well…you're…naked!" – The Flash, Justice League

Chapter 8: Found!

The kitchen of Castle Destro

Castle Destro was a crazy place. It was a castle that was passed down in Destro's family from generation to generation. As such, the castle itself was centuries old. However, the castle was a combination of medieval architecture and modern convenience, thanks to the Destro family's tradition of keeping up with the times. As a result, the kitchen was top of the line, with facilities capable of feeding a fine restaurant. One of the Dreadnoks was in there. To be exact, it was the white-and-pink haired Road Pig. Afflicted with a split personality, the Dreadnok had two personas: The refined Donald, and the greasy Road Pig. The chefs in the kitchen were standing around the Dreadnok as he was doing something. He appeared to be mixing in a pot.

"Now that we have mixed the batter…" Road Pig had instructed in a refined voice, indicating his Donald persona was in control. "Let us add the secret ingredient." Road Pig took back over. "Yeah, you frou-frou cooks are going to love the secret ingredient to this brew." The powerhouse Dreadnok put down the bowl and went to the fridge. "Now where did I put it? I put it on the top shelf. Why? Because I felt like it! If you say so…Hello! Here it is!" The white-and-pink-haired Dreadnok grinned. "Behold! Grape soda!"

"Ooooooooooooh…" The chefs mumbled in unison as they looked at the bottle with awe shining in their eyes.

"Told you! I told you that you frou-frou chefs would enjoy it!" Road Pig grinned. "Indeed, Road Pig." Donald agreed. "Now, we add just a cup of grape soda to…" The Dreadnok and the chefs heard a crashing. "What in the name of…" They looked outside and saw Destro run by. His mask was decorated with splotches of blue paint, and he was dressed as a Scottish warrior from "Braveheart".

"Onward, lads!" He crowed, waving a sword. "Onward tae vistory! They may take our lives, but they will never take…OUR FREEDOM!" He ran off, waving his sword.

"Destro! Get back here!" Baroness yelled out as she chased the steel-masked arms dealer.

"Wow." Donald blinked. "How is he able to do that in a body cast? That should be impossible!"

"Yeah." One of the chefs blinked.

"Only in Cobra, man." Road Pig shook his head.

"Hey, are you guys done yet?" Zanya, Zartan's green-haired teenage daughter, snapped as she peeked in. "I want Donald to show me how to make cookies after this!"

Bayville Comic-Con

"Man, I hate this job." The Crimson Guardsman dressed as Dr. Blinder grumbled. "I really hate this job. Why am I here? None of those freaks would come here! The only ones likely to show up are Red Dragon and Thunderbolt, and I don't see any dragons or bigmouths! God, maybe I should just quit Cobra and get legitimate work…I dunno, maybe open up a collectibles store-"

"BLINDER!" A familiar voice yelled out angrily.

Senator Kelly's house

"Why do I stay here? Why do I stay in this dump?" Senator Kelly moaned as he fell on a couch on a living room in his house. "I mean, I live in a town full of mutants. I've gotten blown up, mauled, burned, frozen, brutalized, beaten, kidnapped, traumatized, attacked, scared…" The hapless and beleaguered bigoted senator sighed. "And yet…I stay here. It just keeps happening to me, yet I never bother to pack up and move the heck out of here. He heard a knock on his door, and looked up. "Who is it?"

"Pizza dude." A voice answered from the door.

"Hey, my pizza's arrived." Kelly got up and went to the door. "Thanks. How much is it?"

"$5.75, dude." The delivery guy answered. Kelly paid the guy, and then took his pizza. "Thank you. Have a good day."

"Thanks a lot, and you too!" Kelly replied, closing the door. He turned around and… "ARGH!" A stampede of cows somehow ran through his house and started trampling him. "AGH! ARGH! OW! SAVE ME! HELP ME! MAMA! AAARGH! OWWWW!"

The Xavier Institute

In the Cerebro Room of the Institute, Professor Xavier was using the mutant-detecting device to scan for Scott.

"Professor, do you really think that you'll be able to find Scott with Cerebro?" Cover Girl wondered.

"Do not worry, Cover Girl." Xavier reassured. "If Scott is using his powers, Cerebro will detect him."

"I hope so." The ex-model Joe sighed. "In Scott's condition, it could be a major disaster if he uses his powers. Especially if he uses them in what he thinks is in the defense of others."

"Do not fear, Cover Girl." Xavier reassured with a chuckle. "I'm sure we can find him…" A ruckus was heard outside. "What the-"

"GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SQUIRT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" The voice of the silver-haired speedster codenamed Quicksilver screamed out.

"Oh, now what?" Cover Girl moaned.

"Nice wig, Pietro! You know, I think they have a beauty contest for guys in dresses!" The voice of the mutant multiplier codenamed Multiple laughed happily.

"GIVE IT BACK YOU LITTLE AUGH!"

"Leave him alone, you bully!" The voice of the power absorber called Rogue snapped.

"…Oh, man…" The two adults groaned. Suddenly, Cerebro activated an alarm klaxon.

"We've found him!" Xavier realized.

"Where is he?" Cover Girl wondered. Xavier typed on a keyboard.

"He's at the Bayville Auditorium." Xavier reported. Cover Girl remembered something.

"Wait a minute…" Cover Girl remembered. "I just realized something. Jake once told me there was a comic convention going on in town today. He was hoping to pick up something nice for Thunderbolt there."

"Only appropriate Scott would go there." Xavier nodded. "He would fit right in."

"We'll have to send a team down there to go get him." Cover Girl strategized. "I have an idea of who…"

The Bayville Comic-Con

"AUGH!" The Crimson Guardsman screamed as he barely dodged an optic blast from an angry Cyclops. "Aw man! Geez! I knew I should've stayed in bed today! Why'd I agree to this assignment?"

"Blinder!" Scott Summers, the optic blaster codenamed Cyclops, snapped. "I demand to know what you did to my powers! What is your twisted plot? Don't think you can defeat me, the Amazing Eye-Man!" The sci-fi fans in attendance were in awe.

"Wow! What a show!"

"Those effects are amazing!"

"How'd they do that?"

"Eye-Man? All the great heroes, and they decided to do this for Eye-Man?"

"Hey, Eye-Man's got fans, too."

"Yeah! Three of them!"

"Plot? What the devil are you talking about, you lunatic?" The Crimson Guardsman exclaimed. What do you know! The bosses were right on the money! Although I doubt this was what they had in mind when they told me the X-Men would come here. He thinks he's a goofy superhero! Man, am I in trouble. "YEOW!" The Crimson Guardsman screamed.

"I want answers, Blinder! What are you up to? What is your latest scheme! I demand to know!" Scott snapped.

"Kid, I don't know what you think this all is, but this is a costume! I'm not Dr. Blinder! Dr. Blinder is a fictional character YI!" He dodged another optic blast.

"Do you think I am some kind of an idiot?" Scott grunted.

"Scott!" A familiar voice called out. Scott turned around and saw Jean Grey in her black-and-neon green uniform hovering in the air. With her were Todd, Bobby, Paul, Storm, and Amara. Amara was wearing a new costume, a yellow outfit lined with orange-and-red fiery highlights around her neck, orange-and-red boots, and matching elbow-length gloves.

"Wow." Paul whispered to Amara. "I have to say, Jamie's tailor really came through with the new costume." Amara giggled.

"Thank you, Starchild." She smiled. "I must admit, I am very pleased with it myself."

"No…" Scott mumbled to himself. "…Captain Amphibian…Miss Mind…Star-Czar…Windrider…Volcano…the League of Evil…." Scott turned to the Crimson Guardsman. "I see you brought your fellow members of the League of Evil here to

"What's he mumblin' about, yo?" Todd blinked.

"I think he thinks we're other characters in his delusion." Storm deduced.

"I think that's kind of obvious." Bobby sighed.

"Scott…it's me. It's Jean." Jean hovered slowly and carefully towards Scott. "Come on, Scott. Let's go home."

"I…I…" Scott started to respond, but then quickly shook his head. "No! Miss Mind is trying to use her mental powers to confuse me!"

"Uh oh…" Paul blinked. "I think we are in trouble. Big time." The heroes didn't notice a flaming Duncan run around in the background.

"AAAARGH! HELP ME!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes calm Scott down? Will they discover the Crimson Guardsman? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!