A/N- Rent, my amigos, is due. TODAY!

January 19th, 11 PM. Just got back from the movie theater, FINALLY watching RENT on the big screen- it was incredible. Since I'm still all hyped up, here is chapter 5. Enjoy. No day but today.

Oh, and rating is up to T. I don't think it will be really necessary, but just in case, we'll see how it goes. Tell me if you think it should be downrated again :)

Chapter 5

It felt as if they were standing there for hours, just staring at one another. She couldn't bring herself to break the gaze. His eyes were speaking everything that his lips wouldn't. It was like she could read his mind, yet at the same time she couldn't. She was so confused. Like she experienced all that before, at some point of her life, and now it was happening all over again. It made her head reel. It started earlier, when his hand touched hers in that Diner they were sitting at. He was moving closer to her now, but didn't seem as if he noticed. Like he couldn't bring himself to break their gaze as well. If she'd make one step, just one small step forward…

She stepped back, her mind everywhere. He blinked, surprised by her sudden movement. She touched his cheek gently. "You should go," she said quietly.

His gaze was a bit unfocused, like someone who had just woke up. "Yeah. I'll call you tomorrow," he said. He took her hand, the one that was still placed on his cheek, in his, and kissed it. "Good night."

She said nothing, just watched him as he walked down the hall, until he disappeared around the corner. She closed the suite's door and leaned against it, closing her eyes.

Yesterday night's events replayed in her mind while she was sitting in the conference room, listening to one of her colleagues. They had a great time. She was glad Libby loved Mark so much. She didn't stop talking about him from the moment she woke up. It was hard not to love him, he was so amazing with her so far. He seemed to love her as well. But then there was this thing, right before he left, that kind of scared her, because she wasn't sure what it meant, if it meant anything.

Her cell phone rang just as she stepped out of the elevator, on her way back to her office. She didn't recognize the number that was flickering in the phones' screen.

"Hello?"

"Maureen?"

Mark. She didn't think she'd hear from him so soon. She still wasn't sure what happened there, what could have happened if she wouldn't have backed away. She hoped she didn't hurt him. Of course, she had done that so many times before, but this time she actually cared. "Hey," she said, as casually as she could. She finally entered her office and closed the door.

"You sound busy."

"Not really, I just got back from a meeting."

"Oh. I guess I can call some other time-"

"No, that's fine, I'm back in my office by now," she said, cutting off his apologies. He was silent. So was she. She should say something about the other night, she knew. But then she decided against it. First she'd have to explain all that to herself, she rationalized.

"Mo, are you there?" he asked finally.

Wow. No one used that nickname for years. She smiled. "Yeah, sorry, I was- forget it." She hesitated, but then decided that she should just ask. In the worst case he'd simply turn her down or something. "Are we still on for tonight?"

"When did we say anything about canceling it?" She smiled. So Mark, pretending that everything was okay. "Is 8:30 okay?"

"Yeah. Where are we going?"

There was a short pause before he said, "Surprise." He sounded as if he was smiling.

She laughed. "Oh, don't do that to me, you know how I feel about surprises. What am I supposed to wear if it's a surprise?"

"Not your work clothes. Unless you wanna be an easy target for weird looks."

She raised her eyebrow. She had no idea what he had in mind. "Weird looks? Where are you taking me?"

He laughed softly. "You'll see. I'll be there on 8:30."

"Fine. I'll see you then."

"Why can't I go too?" protested Libby for what seemed like the hundredth time. She sat in the middle of the bed in her flannel Hello Kitty pajama, hugging her teddy bear close to her chest, and looked resentfully at her mother.

"Because you're supposed to be sleeping by now, Munchkin. Why are you still up?"

"Want to see Mark!"

"Who is this guy anyway?" asked Robin, who had just entered the bedroom as well. "And how is it that your daughter is head over heals in love with him?"

Robin asked all those questions that morning as well, but she was running late as it was, and was unable to answer them. "He's an old friend. That's all." No, that was not all. But she didn't feel like explaining the whole story to Robin. "Anyway, he should be here soon, so what do you think? The black wool or the leather?" She was wearing a soft black cashmere sweater and her favorite blue jeans. She couldn't decide whether to wear the trench coat that she usually wore for work, or her old leather jacket. She always packed it as a just-in-case outfit, but never had a chance to actually wear it.

"The leather is hot, I'd say the leather," said Robin winking.

She rolled her eyes but wore the jacket and looked in the mirror doubtfully. "Munchkin, what do you think?"

"You look pretty, mommy!" exclaimed Libby clapping her hands together, making both women smile.

"Okay, so leather jacket it is," she said, just as a knock came on the door.

"He's here! He's here!" called Libby excitedly and launched herself out of bed.

"Libby, you can't just open a door without knowing who is on the other side. Ask 'who is it'."

"Who is it?" imitated Libby, who was standing in front of the door.

"It's Mark." His voice was muffled by the door.

"Mommy, it's Mark, can I open the door now?"

"Yes, you can," she said, a small smile curling on her lips. Libby opened the door for Mark, who had that hesitant look in his eyes. She could recognize that look from miles. But then it slowly faded as Libby's arms encircled his knees, which was the highest she could go. He laughed, a bit surprised.

"Hey little one, aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"We couldn't stop her."

"Reminds me of someone I used to know," he said, looking straight at her. She was in a loss of words for couple of seconds, and then turned her attention to Robin, who was standing at the far end of the room.

"Robin, this is Mark. Mark, Robin is Libby's babysitter."

"Nice to meet you," said Mark. He couldn't even shake her hand properly, for Libby was still all over him.

Robin laughed. "Same here. You're all Libby talks about, for the last one and a half days," she said, making him blush.

"Okay, Munchkin, you've seen Mark, now it's time for bed."

"Oh wait, I've got something for her," said Mark all of a sudden as he took something out of the inner pocket of his coat.

He got her something? She exchanged looks with Robin, and by the expression on the younger woman's face, she knew what she was thinking. Too cute to be true. "You shouldn't have-" she started to protest. Libby's eyes were shining as he gave her a small parcel, wrapped in a colorful paper. She looked at her mother hesitantly, as is she wasn't sure if she should take it. "What do we say, Libby?"

"Thank you," she whispered, suddenly shy. She slowly unwrapped her present to reveal… what was that? For a second, she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. Then she looked at Mark, and by that mischievous spark in his eyes she knew they weren't. She burst out laughing. It was a small, silly looking stuffed cow with a bell on its neck.

"Your mom used to love cows the last time I've seen her," said Mark.

"She still does," she said. Oh man. How could he have possibly remembered that? She totally forgot until she had seen that cow. Tomorrow would be the tenth anniversary of that protest. It looked like forever ago.

"So are you ready to go?" he asked, touching her arm slightly.

"Yeah, just a sec," she said, kneeling next to Libby, who was fascinated by her gift. "Night Munchkin, give mommy a kiss." Libby kissed her nose. She smiled. "Don't stay up for too long, okay sweetie?" she added, messing with the girl's hair a bit.

"Okay."

"Bye, Libby. Robin, it was nice meeting you," said Mark right before they left.

He led her to the subway station, and it wasn't until they got to their final destination when it finally dawned on her where he was taking her. She stared at him in disbelief as they went out of the station and into the street. She looked around her, taking in the familiar sights. It hadn't changed much, not even after all these years.

"You come here often?" she asked as he held the door to the Life café open for her.

"Not as often as I would like to, I'm afraid," he replied. "Work's been crazy lately, especially since we got that gallery opened. But I love coming here every now and again. The owners changed couple of times. But you know, it's still the same old Life."

"Only now they actually let us in," she remarked in a whisper as they followed the waiter to a side table with a candle burning in the middle of it. He laughed.

She raised her head from the menu to look around the crowded café. Everyone seemed to be minding their own business. Christmas songs were playing softly in the background. There were no joined tables, no crazy groups to jump over those tables and celebrate life and love and their being. It was so different. For a second she could see them back then, on that night right after her protest. So many things happened that night. Roger got out of the loft for the first time in forever, Mark sold his footage of the riot, Collins fell in love, and she?

"Mo?" Her head snapped up to the sound of his voice. A waiter was standing next to their table, waiting for their orders. After he left, Mark eyed at her curiously. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm… It's just kind of weird, being back here."

"We can leave if you want," he said, a bit uncertain.

"No, I meant weird in a good sense." She looked at him and laughed softly. "I still can't believe it was your gallery. I mean, what are the odds?"

"Not very high."

"Is she your girlfriend or something?" she suddenly remembered that woman she was talking to the day before they met.

He seemed surprised by the question. "Who?"

"That woman that told me she helped a friend running the gallery. A pretty one, green eyes?"

There was this spark of recognition in his eyes, but at the same time he looked slightly confused. "Oh, Tammy? When did you… no, she's not my girlfriend, I mean, we dated couple of times but we're not… when did you meet Tammy?"

"A day before I met you." He gave her a questioning look. "It's a long story. So who is she?"

He told her about Tammy, and about some other failing relationships he had through the years. She started to realize why he hadn't got married up until then. He always put his job before everything else in his life. Then they got their orders, and he started telling her funny stories about Roger and Collins, things that happened after she went away. She laughed all the way through in the right parts, but the truth was, that it made her kind of sad. They were the kind of you-should-have-been-there stories. She knew they could have been funnier if she was a part of them, which she wasn't.

Then he started asking her questions, but they were all vague, like he didn't dare asking what he really wanted to know. And by his questions, by the questions he tried to ask the previous day too, she knew exactly what he wanted to know.

"Look Mark, that's okay. You can just ask it," she said seriously.

He looked slightly surprised. "What are you talking about?" he asked, as if he didn't know what she meant. He couldn't fool her. She saw in his eyes that he knew exactly what she meant.

"I know what you want to know. It's fine, I'm okay with it. Just ask it." She'd been through all that before, so many times, so she really didn't care anymore. Whatever his reaction would be.

He looked as if he was about to protest again, but then he changed his mind and looked at her seriously. "Did he even know her?" he asked.

She didn't know why she was surprised. Probably because she thought he wouldn't relate Libby with the story of her ex-husband, basically because the least she did tell him didn't really fit. She thought he would think Libby was an accident, the result of a one-night stand she had at some point in her life. Well, maybe he did think that, but decided to phrase his question as politely as he could.

She returned his look. "He didn't even want her. He tried to convince me to get rid of it when I first got pregnant. And when talking wasn't enough, he tried some other ways. Like pushing me down the stairs in our home, making it look like an accident," she said it as calmly as she could, although thinking about it alone made her shiver, even after all this time. "It didn't take much time before I got rid of him." She could never forget that night, she knew, no matter how hard she tried. And every time she watched Libby in her sleep, she thanked God again and again that her baby was okay. She was all that mattered.

Mark looked shocked to hear all that. He hesitated, as if taking it all in, then said, "It doesn't sound like you to marry someone like that in the first place," he said gently.

She smiled bitterly. How could she explain all that to him? She really believed at the time that Andy was different than the rest of them. "I loved him. At least I thought I did. And I wanted to have a family, to do something right with my life for a change. The only good thing that came out of all this shit was Libby. I don't know what I'd do without her," she said honestly. His expression remained unreadable. "I know what you're thinking. Maureen Johnson, a mother? How laughable."

Mark shook his head in protest. "That's not what I was thinking at all. You're raising her all by yourself, and you seem to be doing an incredible job. This is something people should be proud of, not laugh at."

No scorning, no accusations, not even the slightest attempt to moralize. "This is probably the nicest thing anyone ever told me about this whole issue." He smiled, a bit embarrassed it seemed. The slight blush in his cheeks gave him away. Just like old times, she thought fondly. He always knew what to say. "How do you do that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Even when we were together, you always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better."

"I cared about you. I care about you now. It's not something I do, I'm just being honest."

"All you were trying to do was being that sweet guy you always were, and all I was doing was treating you like shit." Realizing this now, years after it happened, was kind of painful. Before, she never realized what he must have felt when she cheated on him, when she dumped him. "Will you even forgive me?"

He hesitated, then a slow smile appeared on his face. "I have forgiven you."

They didn't talk of anything serious after that. Especially not about what happened, or was about to happen, right before he left the previous night. It was like they had this silent agreement never to mention it. So he told her a bit about some films he did recently, and she told him about the auditions she had when she first arrived to LA, and some funny things that Libby was doing when she was younger, but that was that. It was like there was this line that both of them were really careful not to cross.

They kept talking through dinner, on the subway and all the way to the hotel. He walked her upstairs, just as he did the night before. He waited until she opened the door.

"Do you… wanna come in?" she wasn't even sure where the question came from. He looked surprised as well, but followed her inside. The suite was quiet. Robin must have been fallen asleep. It happened once or twice before, when she worked late hours. She used to come back to the hotel and find both sleep peacefully.

"I had a really great time tonight," she said as they sat on the sofa, facing one another. She laughed when she realized that she told him the same thing the day before. "Man, I gotta stop saying that."

He laughed. "That's okay. I had a great time too."

"When are you going to Scarsdale?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. The City's gonna be a mess because it's Christmas Eve, so as soon as I'll go, the better." He paused, then asked hesitantly, "Can I call you when I come back? Maybe we can do something for New Years."

"Yeah, that'll be great." She looked into his eyes and there it was again. Just like the other night. Well, this time she wouldn't back away, she decided. Before she knew it, he was leaning closer to her, or was it she that moved closer? She wasn't sure of anything. It didn't even seem to matter. She could feel his soft, warm, breath on the skin of her neck as his lips grazed hers with the slightest touch…

"Maureen?"

Shit. Mark backed away immediately, and even though the light was dim she could tell he was blushing. Robin entered the sitting room, looking somewhat sleepy.

"Hey Robin. Sorry, did we wake you?"

"I thought I heard voices and… forget it, did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, we did. Was Libby okay?"

"Of course she was."

"I'd better go," said Mark, getting up. She stood up as well and walked him to the door.

"Bye Mark, thanks for everything."

"I'll call. Merry Christmas," he kissed her cheek softly, waved his goodbye to Robin and left.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," said Robin slyly.

As a matter of fact… "No, of course not."

"Because you know, he's kind of cute. I think I want one. Where did you find him?"

"Told you, he's an old friend." Robin looked at her doubtfully. She sighed. She had to tell the poor girl something. "Back then when I lived here, we used to date. But then things happened… and I dumped him."

"Oh, poor thing. And now…?"

"And now," she repeated, but really didn't know how to finish. Now what?