Changes Chapter 7 Tarot and Death, a higher ground fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Higher Ground or any of its original characters. I do own Carla.

AN: I know I'm not really a good writer. Just as a point of information: even if I don't get any reviews anymore, I will go on writing this. Otherwise, it will just occupy my mind forever… And. I'm. Not. Giving. Up. Now. (grinds her teeth)

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The tour Sophie was giving Carla had been uneventful so far. Both of them avoided talking about what had happened, Peter and the past in general. The small talk was mostly about the beautiful landscape and the weather up here.They thought this was a bit of a cliché, but it was a safe and therefore comforting topic.

"Do you have any idea how good it is to be in the mountains after living in the desert for so long? Before I came up here, I didn't even know what I was missing."

"I can imagine. San Diego isn't the most beautiful place on earth. Anyway, here's the climbing wall. Look good to you?"

"Perfect. When will we do it?" Some physical competition might do both of us some good, Carla thought.

Sophie had already thought about that. "Tomorrow. I want to invite the Cliffhangers and everyone else who wants to watch."

"So you like to have an audience?"

Sophie grinned. "Everyone will see your defeat..."

"We'll see about that." Ready for the challenge.

"Now, do you want to meet the Cliffhangers?"

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The Cliffhangers were at the picnic tables now, divided into the same groups as in the cafeteria the day before. Most of them were doing homework. Not only did they have to do the physics assignment, they also had math problems to solve and an essay to write. David wasn't really concentrating on his work. He mostly watched the others and looked around. Suddenly he cried out "Hey!"

"Shut up, Ruxton! Some people here are being productive." Scott wasn't in a good mood and David got on his nerves.

"No, look who's coming!" He had discovered Sophie and Carla. It wasn't an earthshaking discovery, but it rescued him from sitting amongst a bunch of silent people who wanted to 'be productive'.

"Hey guys! I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Carla. Carla, these are Scott, David, Juliette, Auggie, Kat, Ezra, Daisy and Shelby." Sophie said cheerfully.

Everyone said some kind of hello. Most of them were actually grateful for this interruption.

"Why are you here? Wanted to see what a school for rejects looks like?" David had decided to be obnoxious once again.

When she turned her attention to him, Carla realized that his goal was to be annoying, so she didn't take him seriously. "I came here in the hopes that these pure mountains and the infinite wisdom of the people here would help me elevate my soul to a higher level, preferrably directly into Nirvana.", she told him with the sweetest of smiles.

Everyone broke into unrestricted laughter. "See, Ruxton, no one's taking your crap, not even people who didn't know you before." Scott was delighted by Carla's quick comeback. David made a face and stalked off, now annoyed himself.

Meanwhile, Shelby had turned to Carla. "Aren't you a sarcastic one!", she said, grinning. "I already like you." – "Takes one to recognize one, right?"

"Not exactly true for sarcastic people, but yes, my fellow inmates here say I'm sarcastic.", Shelby confirmed.

"More than just sarcastic!" Juliette usually suffered the most from Shelby's remarks.

All the time, Ezra had tried to give Daisy signs with his eyes. She finally noticed and checked her pocket for her cards. "Now that we've discussed that, I've got a great idea.", she exclaimed, then waited until everyone's attention was on her. "Today is full moon. We're all together here. How about I read your cards?"

There were a lot of nods, the most enthusiastic from Ezra. "But if I get the tower again, I promise, I'll hurt someone." Shelby cautioned.

That settled, Daisy looked at Sophie and Carla. "How about you two?" Sophie started to speak, but Carla was first. "Are you any good?"

Daisy grinned. "You gotta ask the others. I don't read my own cards."

On that, Carla looked at the Cliffhangers questioningly. Finally, Shelby spoke up. "Good? I don't know. What she predicts comes true most of the time. But it's not always good."

"Alright, I'll see what the cards hold in store for me."

"So, you go first." Daisy and Ezra exchanged triumphant glances. Sophie caught on to that. "I'm smelling a conspiracy." – "Concpiracy? Me? You're imagining things." Her own words, thrown back at her, shut Sophie up.

Daisy shuffeled her deck, concentrated on Carla and then drew a card. "The Chariot." She showed the card around. "You experience a struggle with yourself or with life. With honesty and strength of will you'll pull through it.", she explained.

Carla wasn't surprised. "I already noticed the first part. I guess I'll see about the second part." Honesty, she thought, well you already knew that. It's just so damn difficult!

"Who's next? Scott, you up for it?" – "Sure, hit me."

"The hanged man. Associated with sacrifice or a period of waiting. But there's nothing you can do but accept it."

"I know." Scott growled and looked at Sophie angrily.

Daisy was amused. "Shooting death glares at Sophie won't help you, either."

"Don't worry, if looks could really kill, I would've been dead for years." – "Did you just volunteer to be my next victim, Sophie?" Sophie thought for a bit. "I normally don't do things like that. – But today's strange anyway, so I might as well see what the cards say."

"Alright – the Empress..." She hesitated and looked at Sophie, a bit concerned. "She's the Mother Goddess. She stands for unconditional love, fertility and defence of the weak. You'll probably experience a renewal of some kind."

Prepared by Daisy's concerned look, Sophie hadn't let any emotions show in her face. Only Carla and Daisy had noticed her flinching when she heard the word fertility. Sophie didn't comment on the card and Daisy moved on quickly.

"Shelby, you're up. I don't think you'll get the tower this time. – Ah, the Star. Your life is about to become brighter and easier. Life's forces won't stand in your way. You should concentrate on your strengths."

Shelby sighed in relief. "So, no dark clouds at my horizon..."

Daisy looked at her watch. "Anyone else want to have his cards read?"

Kat voluntered. "Soon, there'll be no one to read my cards, might as well enjoy it as long as I have you."

A smile was on Daisy's face when she saw the card. "The Universe. Stands for achievement. Your efforts are finally fruitful, you managed to put self-imposed obstacles out of your way. Congratulations!"

"Nice, nice! Searching for your fate! Read my cards, Daisy, I'm sure I get the lovers and we'll be a couple by tomorrow!" Unnoticed by everyone else, David had come back. But he wasn't the only one. A bit back, Peter was standing, watchng them.

"In your dreams! But I'll read your cards anyway..." Daisy drew a card. Then she paused and looked at it in concern. She remembered when she had drawn this card for herself... "It's Death. It can predict actual death or the abrupt ending of something, like a phase in life or a relationsship..."

David had become a bit paler, but he tried to overplay his anxiety. "So maybe it tells me that finally the part of my life is over that I have to spend without you by my side!", he said with a huge grin.

Daisy just shook her head and chose to ignore David's remark otherwise. Then she turned her attention back to Carla, who was about to leave with Sophie. "As much as we all enjoyed your smart comeback to David, his question still stands: Why are you here? I think we have a right to know."

This girl doesn't miss a beat. She noticed that I was evasive... but she is right, in a way. "I think you're right. Well, the reason I'm here is no big secret or anything; within the next week I have to decide whether or not I want to retire this summer. In San Diego there are a lot of people trying to influence me, so I remembered Sophie inviting me and also challenging me to find out who of us both can climb the climbing wall faster."

Daisy looked from Sophie to Carla and back to make sure this was serious. It seemed a bit childish to her... "A competition, huh? What are you retiring from, anyway?"

"I'm in the Navy. My 8-year contract ends in August. I have to decide whether I want to renew it or not." Before anyone could say anything, David unexpectedly joined the conversation. "Navy! You don't seem the military type!"

Carla chuckled. It wasn't the first time she got that reaction. "And what IS the military type?" – "You know totally straight, rule abiding, expecting everyone else to follow the rules, too, success oriented, definitely not believing in something like tarot cards." – "I wouldn't ask the cards for what to do in a military operation, but what I do in my private life has nothing to do with the Navy."

"What are you doing in the Navy? Sailing ships?" that was Auggie. – "No, I'm actually in the SEALs. But since I injured my eardrum last year, I've been analyzing satellite photos and converting them to maps soldiers can use in the field." – "Then, have you ever killed someone?" During these questions by Auggie, Peter came closer and closer.

Carla looked into the Cliffhangers faces. She saw curiosity, of course. She knew that some would despise her, but that was just like things were. "Yes, I have."

Silence. Then Daisy, always interested in death: "What does it feel like?"

Carla chose to try the sarcastic aproach once more. "Do you aim at being a psychatrist?", she asked, an amused expression on her face.

"No I want to work with dead people. So. Care to answer my question?" Daisy was undisturbed by this evasiveness.

Carla thought for a second. "I take it you want a real answer, not some generic 'Oh it's terrible but it has to be done', right?" On a nod from Daisy, she continued. "In combat, everything is fast. Your life depends on fast reactions, decisions made in a fraction of a second. What I want to say: in combat, there is no time for emotions. Emotions can cost you your life. I don't allow any emotions during combat. That means in the moment I killed someone, I usually didn't feel anything. But later, when I had some time on my own and started to relax, I would relive everything, every second of it. One of the strongest feelings usually was that of my own mortality. I never felt it so much as when I had killed someone. That I had to die too. That one day it would be me. It was as with every person I killed, I was a step closer to my own death, I felt a piece of me was dying with everyone of them."