Firstly I want to thank everyone for their reviews – it really makes this worthwhile. Especially because this is my first actual fic – I've written a couple oneshots but this is definitely a completely different process. So keep up to comments – anything but flames is welcome.
Don't Panic – Chapter 4
His hands toyed with the bottom of my shirt. Clearly, it was in the way of something he wanted. He mumbled "Rory" over and over again. Planting hurried kisses all over my face. I missed you, comes out. I giggled. You saw me on Monday. I tell him as I start to push him off me. He doesn't seem to want to move. He said that was much too long and has continued his attack on my neck.
"Logan, I need to answer the phone."
He sighed as he stood up. "Fine, I should get going anyways." He planted a brief kiss on my lips as he headed out the door. It had been a month since I moved out of Emily and Richard's. It had been three weeks since I was informed I would not be hired at the Stamford Eagle. It had been 3 weeks and 2 days since I had moved all fifteen copies of Jess' book into the 'Staff Recommendations' section. It had been that day that we officiated a "Jess-must-call-Rory-once-a-week" rule; at the time the reasoning behind it was business. I would tell him how the book was selling.
But it wasn't business when he called the third time in that first week. He missed me and I missed having friends. People who I could actually talk to. People who I didn't see drunk every weekend stumbling out of pubs.
Lane was fabulous but was no longer around. After a very dramatic break up with Zach that involved him ruining every shot their band had at ever making is big she decided to travel. She used with the money she would typically be spending on rent and bills. Lane moved out of the house and went on a road trip out to California.
Paris was, well, Paris.
And Lorelai was completely obsessed with her wedding; which I had taken over the planning of. Because as mom put it, "You hosted DAR functions, betraying the way of the Lorelai's and as your punishment you are sentenced to handling every detail of my wedding that I am a – too busy to do. B – Is no fun. Or c – I'm too lazy too." All of our conversations were about flowers or money or colors or coffee now.
"Hello?" I finally managed to say.
"Took you long enough." I smiled.
"Sorry, spaced out for a minute."
"Actually three."
"You clocked it?"
"Yes, three minutes twenty two point eight seconds exactly. So my dear," he teased. My stomach fluttered. I tried to ignore it. "I have a proposition for you."
"Oh the intrigue." I smirked.
"How do you feel about coming to visit me in Philly before you start Yale again? Stay a few days, maybe a week. We'll do some very uncool touristy things. Maybe go out to eat somewhere fun. Party. Get wasted. Cause a scene like the Real World kids. Possibly get arrested."
I cringed slightly. He didn't know about my run in with the law yet. "That sounds fabulous; except for the part where we get arrested."
"I was kidding." He said.
"I know." I said trying to cover my reaction. Jess knew only small bits and pieces as to what had happened with me and I wasn't ready for a heart to heart. I needed time.
"So what do you say, Ace?"
"Don't call me that."
"He does."
"Yeah, well, don't."
It was awkward and silent for a while. These uncomfortable moments happened regularly. We both knew they alluded to things we weren't saying. Things we couldn't say. But neither of us were strong enough to do anything more than change the subject.
"How about I come down next weekend?" I asked quickly. By then all my community service would be over.
"Next weekend it is."
It was silent again.
"Jess I got to ask-"
"I live in an actual apartment. With an actual couch and an actual bed. I have an actual job."
"Do you have an actual roommate?" I was going to add some sort of snide remark to that, make it a question he didn't have to answer. But suddenly I found myself really wanting to know.
"Nope. Just me." He stated simply.
"So it'll be just us?" I asked, more hesitantly then I had intended.
"Don't sound so disappointed." He mocked me but I couldn't tell if he had heard the nervousness in my voice. I couldn't tell if was nervous too.
"Ok, so… I'll see you soon." I ended awkwardly.
"I'll call you." He hung up, and for the first time in our friendship I knew he would.
Later that week I was sitting at Luke's with mom discussing how browns were not the right colors for a spring wedding even if it was the marriage of a coffee addict and a diner man when I blurted it out; "I'm going to Philly next weekend. Probably for a couple days. I don't know how long. To see Jess."
Mom didn't talk for awhile. I stunned her to silence. She wasn't distraught, just confused. "Next weekend you're done your community service." She sipped her coffee.
"Yes."
"You could have gone up with week." She was waving to Luke for more coffee.
"Lorelai – you aren't done that coffee, I will give you some more when you've finished."
"Didn't you hear Rory's story about how waiting to finish one drink before you've order another is amateurish? I should have gone pro years ago." It was more of a snap then a quip. Luke muttered some dark things about Logan I pretended not to hear.
"I could have." She was going to start insinuating things.
"Was it more convenient for Jess to have you visit next weekend?"
"No… It just made more since to go next weekend."
"When your debt to society is paid off."
"Yes."
"You didn't want to be forced to come back."
"I'm not going to stay forever if that's what you're trying to get at."
"This is just temporary, right?"
It was cold. It was mean. I completely deserved it but it didn't make it hurt any less. I tried to stick it out. I wanted to prove to her I could take it. That I had grown up. That I had a backbone now.
"It's only a visit." I tried to keep my tone unaffected. I was failing miserably. I watched as my mom softened at my tone.
"Well I hope you have a good time." She was trying to repair the damage.
"Yeah me too, but with Jess… you never know."
"Be safe." She was serious again. She raised her eyebrow slightly making it clear that she had intended the double meaning.
"Moooom, it's not like that. I have a boyfriend."
"That type of thing hasn't stopped you in the – and him in the past."
She was alluding to Dean on two levels. Sleeping with married Dean and cheating on boyfriend Dean. I hated thinking that name; it made me sick to my stomach. I hated everything that went along with it.
"So… does Logan know?" she asked cocking her head to the side.
"Know what?"
"That you're still in love with your ex-boyfriend?"
"I'm in love with Logan." I stated factually.
"You loved Dean too."
Jess and Rory in my hometown… Philly represent! This will be fun…