Oh ye of little faith – what fun would a story be if it didn't fluctuate between good and bad? Happy and sad? Fluffy and angsty? There needs to be both. So yes the last chapter or so has been kind of sickeningly cute but it Jess and Rory so we all know it's not going to stay that way.
Don't Panic – Chapter 10
"Oh your mother is going to love this." Jess muttered as he climbed into bed, sans shirt and pants. He was just wearing a pair of ratty old boxers. I told him it didn't bother me, I had taken over his bed the least I could do is allow him to be comfortable. But in all honesty it completely unnerved me.
"Love what?" I asked as I tried to subtly move away from him. His scent was intoxicating, his body was more impressive then I had remembered and my self-control hadn't been that great lately; I really didn't want to add Jess to my growing list of mistakes.
"You in bed with me. Two nights in a row. Sans clothing." He grinned.
"I called her today. She knows about the spooning." I yawned, the day had been an emotional free for all and I was exhausted.
"Spooning leads to forking." Another lopsided grin.
"How does using a quote from a tee-shirt as a pick up line go over with the ladies?" I mumbled while rolling over, my back facing him.
"I feel like there is a wet tee-shirt contest joke somewhere in there, I'm just too tired to find it." I flung my arm backwards in attempts to hit him. "Hey, woah there – no need to get all Jackie-Chan on me."
"If you think my Jackie Chan is good you should really piss me off – my Bruce Lee is a hundred times more impressive."
"I'll take your word for that." He snuggled a little closer to me. "After work tomorrow we'll do something fun, ok?" His breath was hot on my neck and I was dazed. I mumbled what I was fairly certain was yes, or ok, or some form of agreement.
Jess fell asleep long before I did, and woke up much earlier then I had anticipated. I was so used to Logan's late nights, late morning schedule that it caught me off guard when Jess was stumbling around the apartment at 6:45.
"What time is it?" I asked as I wrapped a blanket tightly around me while I trudged out to the couch.
"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." He glanced quickly at his watch. "7:15."
"Why on earth are you up at this ungodly hour?" I yawned.
"To spite you."
"I knew it. You're a regular Cruella De Ville." I mumbled sleepily.
"Except for the part where I harass pretty girls, instead of spotted puppies, and have no interest in making you into a coat or any other form of clothing." He was eating a bowl of Lucky Charms and I could hear the coffee maker.
"I thought you didn't drink coffee?"
"I didn't used to." I accepted his evasive answer, he had done enough caring and sharing in the past few 12 hours. It also had something to do with the fact that he had poured me a mug of my favorite pitch black caffeinated liquid.
"What time do you have to be at work?"
"8:30."
"So you got up at 6:45? Two hours early?" I asked perplexed.
"Yup."
"Any reason in particular or are you just overly-punctual all of the sudden?"
He glared at me, "It's not 'all of the sudden' I've had this job for almost a year."
I gushed a few apologizes, "I didn't mean it like that. I really like that you're – you know, dependable and consistent, it's just new to me. When I think Jess I don't think responsible or prompt. It's just going to take some getting used to that's all."
"When I think Rory I don't think felon or home wrecker, but people change."
I looked up, hurt. "Where did that come from?" I whimpered.
"I'm sorry, forget it. I'm just being antagonistic." He rinsed out his bowl with out looking at me.
"Jess?"
"Rory let's just drop it." He came over to where I was sitting on the couch and kissed me, "I don't want to start today like this." I agreed.
"So when do you have to leave?"
"Now." He said, and I swallowed the word as he kissed me again. It burned a little. I was confused at why we started this morning so negatively. Starting the morning off with Jess' mood swings was unsettling because it was all too familiar.
"I'll see you when I get home." He grabbed his coat and with another chaste kiss he was out the door, leaving me to wonder if this was ever going to be easy. I hated comparing Jess to Logan but I couldn't help but do it. The way that even when things were hard with Logan they didn't freak me out as badly as this little almost fight with Jess. That I wanted to go slow with Jess, work things out. Where as with Logan I wanted to go as fast and as recklessly as I could.
It was like back in high school, comparing Jess to Dean. Only now Dean was the mistake, and Jess was redemption. Jess was safe and Dean was the one who could hurt me. Dean was the one who had hurt me. Jess came back, he had every intention of coming back, Dean didn't, I was his fallback. Just like he was my fall back in high school – in case things with Jess didn't work out, only that wasn't completely true because he was married. He had a wife. He used me. Hurt me. He put his ring back on as he left my room. He never said he loved me – just that things weren't working with Lindsay.
I hated not having anything to do; it gave me too much room to think. Room to confront demons I didn't want to admit I still had. I liked living in a state of denial it made things easier. Logan made things easy.
Luckily for me, my phone rang, interrupting my train of thought. I had left my purse on the counter, so I climbed off the couch, curious to see who was calling me before eight in the morning.
"Hello?"
"How about I skip work today, Joey owes me more then one favor, and we work this out?"
"Logan – first of all, no I don't want you to take off work for me. Second of all, I'm in Philly." I sighed.
"So am I, Ace, So am I. In fact I'm right outside Book Boy's apartment." I dropped my phone, and ran to the door and opened it.
"Logan! I think this is considered stalking! I mean if that crazy lady can get a restraining order against David Letterman for secret encoded messages on air – I can get one against you for this, easy."
"Not if I was into on business and wanted to drop by to say hello to my girlfriend." He grinned.
"Apparently you missed the memo – you and I," I motioned between us, "We are no longer a couple. Kaput. Done. Donzo. Finished. Through. Pick any synonym you want – that would be what we are. And how did you get this address anyways?"
"It's amazing how easily obtaining information is when you have the number of connections I do."
"The arrogance thing is no longer cute." I pouted.
"So where is book boy?"
"Why are we even still talking Logan – we're done. Over. Leave please."
"You said you loved me, did you mean it?"
I sighed, all of this before eight in the morning, "Yes."
"Then what's the problem Ace? Let's get out of here, Book Bo-"
"His name is Jess." I hissed between clenched teeth.
"Right, Jess, leave him a note and let's go."
"Logan-" I hesitated, "I can't do that. It doesn't work that."
"Sure it does. I'll make a call, there will be a helicopter and then we'll be in New York, Boston, Baltimore, Atlanta, wherever you want to go."
"A helicopter can fly all the way to Atlanta?" I wondered aimlessly trying to avoid actually saying what needed to be said.
"Fine a plane – come on Rory, please, let's go."
"I'm in my pajama's." I motioned to my skimpy shorts and billowy tank top, his grin grew a little.
"I see that Rory, but I'm not seeing the problem."
"You know I would not be caught dead in public in this get up." I was stalling again.
"Then get changed, grab your phone and we can go!"
"Logan, I don't think you get it. I can't come with you because I'm with Jess now. Or at least I think I'm with Jess now. That was the general implication last night-" I realized how that sounded by the look on Logan's face, "No, no, no, I didn't sleep with him. Well I did sleep with him. But it was like a snuggly thing, not a sex thing. We talked, we kissed, and we argued and we kissed, and I just need to figure this out." I was out of breath, I took a second and glanced at him sympathetically, "Logan I think you should go." With that I closed the door.
"Rory!" I heard through the door, "what am I going to have to do to get you to come out and talk to me?"
"What do you think we were just doing Logan?" I groaned irritably.
"We were dancing around things that need to be talked out." He reasoned.
"Well isn't unlucky then that you have two left feet."
"Rory, don't do this to me, please." He begged.
"Do what Logan?"
"Rory, I love you."
So much for Logan making things easy.