Summary: It's hard to imagine things ever coming up when you're down, and vice verse. That's what Kagome Higurashi told herself years ago. Now she's stuck on the bottom, once again. Even though she has to tell herself that things will get better, she highly doubts that they can. The best things to her have been jerked away, once again, and dangled above her head to taunt her.
Rated M for death, depressing material, and foul language...
"Talking"
Flashbacks
Song Lyrics (centered)
Best of Us
Chapter 5: Harsh Reality
"Oh my God!" Sango exclaims. Sango is probably at the doorway, but I can't move my head to look. I don't know what's happened. The onlythink I can remember are those song lyrics... They're coming to take me away. Someone is coming after me, but I can't remember who. I think...
I think I knew last night, but I don't know for sure...
- - -
"What happened to you?" Is the first question out of Sango's mouth. Now my head is starting to pound.
"What do I look like?" I ask her. She begins to help me up and helps me stand in front of a full-length mirror. I'm a wreck.
I'm in my bra and underwear, for starters. I have cuts along my legs, arms, face... I have cuts everywhere. There are claw-marks on my stomach. Probably from Naraku trying to hurt me... My eyes are hidden in dark purple circles, with green circles around the purple ones. I'm black and blue on my right cheek. Probably from Naraku hitting me and knocking me out...
My cuts aren't deep, but there are plenty of them. That's just as bad. I sit down on the bed softly, and examine my neck for reasons why I can't move it.
My entire neck is covered in bruises. Not a big bruise, but a lot of little ones are around my neck. I'm guessing that Naraku choked me repeatedly...
If Naraku got this close to killing me, he would have done it. What stopped him? I was too high to even get his hair color right. All I can remember is... Everything went black, and then I woke up with Mickey Mouse being humped by Tarzan. I shudder. That image still disturbs me.
"I... I need to tell you what happend from the beginning." I say to her carefully. Sango lies me down on the bed and goes to my bathroom. She returns with bandages, the ones you might see someone being wrapped in ona cartoon or something.
"When was the beginning?" She asks cautiously.
"When I was 13. When I met Naraku." I tell her. Her eyes widen at the sound of his name. I'm sure now she's realizing that he was NOT a friend of mine.
So, I tell her the story. I tell her how Naraku used me and that's why I quit talking. I tell her that he fooled my mother the same way he fooled her. That he acts nice around others, but my life is a living hell since I'm still alive. I tell her everything that Naraku had to do with.
Then I tell her about Kaylee. I tell her about my suspicion that Kaylee was taken by Naraku. I tell Sango everything about the night. Inuyasha came home so tired, that I snuck out in attempt to get Kaylee. I told her about the Green Tea that I drank, and how he must've put something in it.
I even told her about Tarzan and Mickey Mouse's affair. She cringed too. Now we both have that haunting image in our heads.
"You're lucky you're alive... I don't know how you even lived." She says. I look away from her grimly.
"I don't know either." I admit sadly. I wish that I knew what happened last night. I'd rather know and be devistated than not know and be curious.
"I think... I don't know for sure, but I think I know. Naraku can't touch you, since Inuyasha has marked you. Since he was violating you, Inuyasha's mark on you kicked in. It would hurt him whenever you'd start to cry in pain..." She says. That makes sense. If Miroku were to grab my ass and make me scream, he'd get his hand burned.
"So... Inuyasha's mark made him have to start over when he'd hurt me? Would that explain why he was trying to cut off my air supply?" I ask. I know that it's a stupid question. It's obvious that the only way to get me to stop screaming was to gag me. I would die too easily for him if I was gagged. I was high, and I wouldn't be able to breathe through my nose, I guess...
So, he tried to strange the voice out of me. Didn't work, I guess. I think that's when my priestess powers stepped in... But, I can't be too sure.
Sango leaves after a while, saying that she has to take Hari to the park. She tells me that she'll be back, but I'm hardly even in this world. I feel so dazed. Right as she's leaving, Inuyasha comes in the room. He's pissed, and he has every reason to be. I just wish he'd calm down. If he turns demon, I'm afraid that he'll attack me. He is mad enough with me to do it...
"What the hell happened to you!" He asks sharply. I wince at the tone of his voice. He's loud, but it's his anger that's hurting me. If he just leaves now, I'll be in enough pain to teach me to never do something like that again.
"I... Well, you can't get mad..." I say calmly. I feel like yelling at him, or crying, but I won't. I'm going to tough these actions out without my hormones kicking in. I can do that... Maybe I can't. It's easier said than done...
"Stop stalling. Tell me." He commands. I take a deep breath then decide that he might get even more pissed if I take up too much more of his time. Not like he has anywhere else to go. Or he does and he's just waiting for me to spill it before he does. Woah. I'm confusing myself.
"I went back to the shrine where I lived... I-I was going to see if Kaylee was there. Naraku would put her there, since it's one of the more obvious places." I pause as Inuyasha glares at me. He already knows what's going to happen, since I've figured out that Naraku is behind it.
"And?" He prompts me when I don't finish.
"Well... Naraku knew I was going to come. He gave me some tea--"
"Did you drink it?"
"Kagome!"
"Huh?"
"Answer me! Did you drink the tea!"
"Yes..." I squeak in reply. His face starts to twist in rage and turn red. Very red. I'm almost worried about him suffocating himself with that much red on his face.
"Tell me what happened." He slowly says. I can tell he's having problems with holding his anger in.
"Well, I drank the tea he gave me. Then we talked, and I pissed him off. He hit my face and it knocked me out..." I pause, just in case Inuyasha wants to blow up on me here. No, he's going to wait for the worst of it first.
"Then... I woke up and I was strapped to a table. I was... He put something in my drink and I was really high. I can remember all sorts of weird things happening... And then I blacked out and woke up in our bed like this." I tell him quietly. Then it strikes me. How could Naraku get me in here if I have the barriers on everything to keep demons out? More specifically, keep him out.
"He forced you to open the door. Made you turn the knob so he wouldn't have to touch it." Inuyasha answers. His mind must've been thinking on the same tracks at mine. I bury myself further into the blankets, as if I'll be able to hide from his rage. I know he's about to blow up.
"So, you willingly went there?" He asks. I nod.
"Kagome! What the fuck is wrong with you! You could have killed yourself and our baby! You knew that, didn't you?" He asks sharply.
"Yes." I reply sheepishly. The tears are beginning to form into my eyes right now.
"Then why'd you go!"
Everything you say to me...
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break!
"Because... I was worried about Kaylee." I say softly.
"She's one person. You're two people, Kagome! As much as I love her, you know that you have to keep the both of you alive! You didn't even tell me!" He roars. I'm sure the neighbors are about to call the police soon. It must sound like he's ready to beat me. I'm almost afraid he will. He's never even considered raising a hand to me before. Right now, I almost expect him to.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper. Tears begin to fall from my eyes, even though I really don't want them to. I don't want him to know how much he's hurting me, even though he needs to know.
"Sorry doesn't cut it, Kagome! Who knows! With that dose of drugs he gave you last night, the baby may not even survive!" He snaps. I look down at my stomach, and I can feel my stoamch turning. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Why hadn't I thought of that when I was hesitating on drinking the tea? Naraku would've been mad and hurt Kaylee, but it wouldn't have hurt two people if I didn't make that descision.
I need a little room to breathe...
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break!
"I am sorry..." I manage to say again. I don't know what else to say. I'm really sorry, but he doesn't seem to be taking those words to heart. Right now, I'm not so sure if he still has a heart. He'd never yelled at me like this before. Then again, I never risked two lives before. I've never done something as reckless as this.
"Stop it, Kagome! Sorry doesn't work! Sorry isn't telling the child when it's twelve why it won't be able to walk on it's own! Sorry doesn't cut it! Don't you understand that!" He asks me harshly. I cry harder and pull the blanket over my head.
I'm about to...
"What are you crying about!" He asks rudely.
"I feel like you hate me." I confess to him. This is the time where I'm hoping that he'll hug me and tell me that he just lost his temper. That he didn't mean to be as bad as he sounded. That he'll be so romantic...
"I do! You're the last person I feel like being around right now, Kagome! You know why? Because you make me worry so damn much!" He yells.
BREAK!
My heart has shattered so loud, Inuyaha can hear it. I stare at the ceiling, the full effect of his words drifting into my mind. I can barely hear him leave the house. He slams the door on his way, as if to emphasize that he's mad with me. I don't think that it helped any. I got the point already.
Inuyasha... He hates me right now. I've ruined his life by doing this. I could have ruined our child's life, for all I know. In four more months, I'll find out if the child is deformed. I'll find out if I've screwed up as bad as I've thought. I feel so horrible right now...
I should have known not to go. I should've been smarter. I'm married to one of the smartest men on this planet. So, why am I such a dimwit? Why am I so stupid? You'd think that, being around him, I'd get some smarts. Seems that I'm only getting dumber... I've really screwed things up.
Inuyasha will never forgive me. He'll never love me again. I've messed up too bad this time.
Next time on Best of Us...
I've started writing in my diary again. That's all I'll be able to do while I try to ignore my worry for Inuyasha. He's started going to bars after the fight. I'm positive that he's trying to forget about me. While writing in my diary, some memories are surfacing. These are memories that I didn't even realize I had...
Kohara InuYashafan Takahashi- Just for that, I'm putting the next chapter in. I can't imagine getting enoguh reviews for this story. Oh well. I'm feeling strangely generous... And here's some chocolate, so they can be happy!
Tirius- Well, I like replying to reviews. I review the same way that you do, so I guess I find it more friendly than annoying. Don't worry about the long review, because I like it. Makes me much happier if I can feel like I'm talking to my readers. And the drug scene... About that one...
I was reading another fanfiction than has a lot to do with drugs when I was supposed to be writing chapter four. I read about the person and all the things that they were seeing. I thought that, since I was going to have Naraku do SOMETHING to her, that it'd be more amusing that way. The Tarzan and Mickey mouse thing... I feel like explaining that too.
I was listening to an Amine Musiv Video about Tarzan and Jane for the Inuyasha series. It was funny... Anyway, at the same time I was thinking of something to do with Mickey Mouse because he's really good for hallucenations. That's what came ot mind... If anyone wants to see the AMV for Tarzan or any of the other lyrics that were in tehre, then just review and ask. I'll send you the links.
Damn. That was long.
I think 50 reviews sounds reasonable for this... Don't you?
- Bipolar Tangerine