Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Trek. There is a line in here from Monty Pythons and the Quest for the Holy Grail. I borrowed it. I did not steal it, merely borrowed it for a while and then shall have it washed, dried, ironed, freshly starched, and back into the movie before you know it. Please don't sue me, all you shall get is a half-eaten chocolate bar and a pair of old gym socks.

Notes:

Ariennye Dhivae Argelia: THANK YOU FOR COMPLENTING MY CHARACTERS! I love them dearly and am very proud when someone else praises them. Oh and I am so glad that you think that I got Spock right. I do bring in a little bit of human into him in this chapter, tell me what you think...

Schematization: For not having much time, that was a pretty indepth review. I LOVE ISHMAEL! It is probably my favorite of all the ST novels. I have read that one around three times (which is a lot considering that I HATE re-reading books...). Yes, adding new blood is good, but some people can't stand that, so I am glad that you like it.

DXVJKE

Chapter 6

I like Thursdays

To tell the truth, Saul got along pretty well on the Assurance. He took to the bridge like a fish takes to water, the crew implicitly trusted him, hell, I implicitly trusted him. He was one of those people that you just like, for all his faults. Not that he had many mind you. The only thing that anyone found even mildly irritating was his constant devotion to logic. If logic had a temple, I swear Saul would live and die there. His passion was so great that sometimes, on rare occasions, an emotional response could be evoked from Saul if certain members of my crew displayed actions that he found "illogical". Duo was especially apt at bringing forth this response, he could make Saul say that word in three seconds flat (I timed it once), and I believe took great delight in perturbing the Vulcan. The rest of the crew found this highly amusing and it increased their fondness for Saul.

He had almost a prescience for what was about to happen. No matter what the situation, if Saul was on the bridge, I could count on getting out of it okay. He always seemed to know exactly what information I needed before I asked for it and was able to interpret it and send it to the correct stations before anyone knew that they needed it. The escapade with the Orion's trap became almost mundane, and I was quite used to having him there, always knowing what needs to be done. He was a picture of efficiency, but he wasn't proud about it. And yet, sometimes when the bridge was unusually quiet, I could see the traces of pain and sadness in his eyes. He still tried, at least internally, to get behind that locked off section of his memory, to find out who he was. In those moments, I wished I had a key of some kind that would unlock it all for him. He's just one of those kinds of guys that you just want to help.

We had been in the same sector of space for the past sixty days. Katra, Duo and Saul were revamping the computer and engineering sections. They, and their respective teams of techs, found that all very interesting. I found it mind-numbingly boring, and I had a feeling that the rest of the crew agreed. So, after one-thousand-four-hundred-and-forty-four hours of constant chatter from the three of them about warp fields, warp cores, warp engines, warp speed, warp speed while cloaked, warp speed while fighting, warp speed in certain kinds of energy fields (during which I was contemplating what would happen if I strapped them to a warp engine and then turned it on and blasted it out the back end of the Assurance and into an unstable white dwarf star), Duo finally announced that the engines would be back online in time for Alpha shift. There was much rejoicing.

Alpha Shift came and found my bridge crew where they should be (on the bridge), me where I should be (in my chair), a nice new set of engines (hopefully down in engineering where they belong and not gallivanting around the universe getting sugar high), some dryer lint, a couple of old bottles that once had Coca-Cola in them, and a half-eaten cookie that was slowly decaying in an unknown corner of the ship. How Alpha Shift found the last three items, I shall never know, I was on the bridge.

"Right, André. What's the agenda for today?" I was chipper now that I had new engines and didn't have to strap any persons to any warp cores to get them. Eighty-six-thousand-four-hundred minutes is entirely too long to go sitting in some godforsaken bit of space on the backside of the universe.

"Nothing, Major." Came the deep-throated reply of my first officer.

"Excellent. I propose that we go test the new engines. All in favor?" A chorus of "Aye's" made round the bridge. "Opposed?" Silence. "Good, but seeming how this isn't a bloody democracy, none of your votes matter. Let's get into trouble."

"What trouble specifically, Ma'am?" Gunner asked. I thought, where's a good place to…

"Let's go buzzing." That was met with another chorus of "Aye's".

"Setting, Ma'am?"

"Take us to the Romulan Neutral Zone." Laughter broke out on the bridge. Pilot had already set in the coordinates and was waiting for my signal to take us out. "Hannah, get me all-ship."

"Aye, Ma'am. All-ship ready."

"This is the Major." My voice was slightly echoed as it rang throughout the ship. "I have decided that, to honor the upgrading of our new engines, we are going to go buzz the Romulans. Anyone opposed to this idea can go soak their heads, have a couple shots of whisky, see Dr. Carpenter, and get back to their bloody stations. As for the rest of you: let's have a bit of fun, buckos." I clicked the intercom off. "Do it." The Assurance blasted off; all her systems ready for whatever may come. Saul, though he was never really enthusiastic about things other than the internal workings of a computer or small pulsar, seemed not only less enthusiastic than normal but also quite confused. He turned from his station and addressed me quietly.

"Major, may I ask you a question?" There was that ever present quizzical look again.

"Sure, Saul. What's up?"

"I do not understand what 'to buzz' means, nor why it causes such elation amongst the crew." I grinned.

"Buzzing is pirate slang. On the Assurance, it generally means to be an utter bloody pest. In this context, it means that we are going to annoy the hell out of the Romulans and have a good laugh at them."

"I cannot see how making a nuisance of one self could cause amusement."

"Come on, Saul, don't you have at least a little mischief in you? Haven't you ever wanted to make someone mad just for the hell of it?"

"Not that I can remember." The slightest bit of sorrow flashed in his eyes. I was slightly taken aback. I had almost come to seeing Saul as the Vulcan/pirate that could work computer-based miracles. I had forgotten that he had another life.

"Saul, I'm sorry…I didn't…"

"It does not matter, Major." He turned to his station.

"No, it does matter. That was wrong of me to say and I apologize." He looked back at me.

"It is not wholly your fault, and there is no need for apology." He returned to attentively watching his station. I sat in silence. Saul was an enigma to me. How could a man be as strong as he was to never show a single emotion and yet break so easily? I wished that I knew him in his other life, and I deeply envied those who did.

The hours danced merrily on their way as the Assurance raced towards the Romulan Empire. It is a well-known fact that Romulans hate pirates with a passion and will do all manner of nasty things to any pirates caught, which were many. But the Assurance had never been caught. She was the only ship that carried the Skull's mark to pass unhampered through their space and return again to tell the tale. Many rumors had spread about this singular ability. One said that the Assurance was crewed by demon spawn, and therefore could not be touched by any mortal. Another said that the Assurance herself was demon spawn and could not be hit by any weapon ever conceived. The most popular was that the Captain of the Assurance was a lycanthropic witch who could summon all manner of hellish ghouls to fight her battles. Do you see a theme here? The truth was that the Assurance was a mishmash of the absolute best of every civilization thrown together, that she was crewed by a group of hardened scum who hate all things Romulan, and that her Captain was utterly insane. And that is the truth, even the last bit. Because every time I come into contact with a Romulan, a very dark side of me comes forth. I learned that I had to let all this hatred of the Romulans out in small successive doses or I explode in fury. This led to the buzzing for which I was famous for.

Buzzing was, in fact, a therapeutic way of letting all my anger at the Romulans be released in a way that did not start an intergalactic war. The Assurance would find a Romulan ship of some variety, slash and plunder her, and then get back into our own safe waters. Buzzing is also what has kept the Romulans from gaining enough power to go to war with any of their neighbors. It was the steadiest source of income for the crew, as I would have to buzz a Romulan every six months or so or I would turn into a blood thirsty savage. Not a pretty sight to say the least. There was only one side effect of all this. The Romulan Empire would not, for any reason, say to anyone that their greatest enemy was not a great civilization that spanned a hundred worlds but a scraggly band of skuzzy pirates who lived in an asteroid somewhere. This embarrassed the hell out of their politicians, so they blamed it on a great civilization that spanned a hundred worlds: the Federation. This was yet another proof that all politicians need to be shot. Rather than admitting that their economy was at the mercy of some half crazed rebel ship, they blamed it on an old enemy whom they could never seem to destroy. This inevitably caused a public outcry against the Federation and then the Federation would have to fight back against the attacks of the Romulans, thus proving to the public that the politicians are right and perpetuating the system. All that was a bunch of rubbish to me. Politicians, in my sight, were only slightly above the dung beetle on the list of creatures that should be saved in the event of an apocalypse. I believed in good, old fashioned, benevolent, military, dictatorships. The rest of the political systems can go eat dung beetles for all I care.

"Major," Saul's stoic voice rang out across the quiet bridge. "Long range scanners are picking up three vessels." Action, at last.

"Status?" As usual answers came from all sides of the bridge.

"Weapons ready, Ma'am."

"Thrusters ready, Ma'am."

"Shields and cloak at full power."

"Engines at 100."

"Jamming all frequencies, Ma'am and all stations report ready."

"Raiders on standby, Major." I nodded and turned to look at Saul.

"What are we up against?" The Vulcan paused for a heartbeat before replying.

"The three vessels are divided into two classes, Major. One large ship, cargo class, two smaller ones, fighters I believe. They are under Romulan flag. Moving at warp three towards the central part of the Romulan Empire." He paused again and looked up and straight at me. "The computer's library has identified the fighter ships to be of a small escort class, light shielding, heavy weaponry, moderate maneuvering. Scanners pick up ten life readings to each fighter. The cargo ship" he paused again, as though he were hesitant to say it, "Is a slave vessel, heavy shielding, light weaponry, maneuvering is practically non-existent. Life readings are between three-hundred-sixty and three-hundred-ninety." The bridge became so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Four-hundred souls," Katra said quietly. "Major, we can't…"

"I know," I said forcefully. This was going to be no ordinary buzzing. This was an all out raid.

"Pilot, take us in."

DXVJKE

So, any thoughts on what should come next? Also, ifI write a story, planting a new character in the midst of our beloved ST universe, would anyone read it? tell me in a nice review...

DarkX