Disclaimer: I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!
Title: The Dance That We Do
Author: Jayta
Rating: PG13
Show: All My Children
A/N: So where is my shiny thing? Huh huh huh huh?
A/N 2: I told you guys I was evil. cackles.

Chapter Four: Wishes

White rays of light danced in front of him, as he rubbed his tired eyes, stiffly awakened in his chair, where he had unwittingly fallen asleep. His first thought was Kendall. Sitting up straight, he saw pale figure carefully tucked under the thin sheets of her hospital bed - the soft rhythmic beeping of her heart singing in the background.

Letting out a deep sigh of relief, Zach slid back into his chair, allowing the memory of the fear and tension from the unexpected events of the early morning to melt away. She was okay.

"Mr. Slater?" A man with a thick accent called to him from the hallway. Zach recognized him as the doctor that wheeled Kendall behind the ugly beige doors with the foreboding red words 'For emergency personnel only'.

"Yes?" he answered, rising to his feet.

"Can I talk with you a moment?" The dark-skinned man glanced briefly over Zach's shoulder at Kendall. "In private?" he said solemnly.

Suddenly he felt a lump develop in his throat, almost choking him, as he nodded and followed the doctor into the hospital corridor. Zach knew this didn't bode well. Not once had he encountered a doctor in a hospital corridor, alone, where the words, 'I'm sorry' didn't follow. "W-what is it, Dr. Mulatto" he coughed, trying to release the frog in his throat. "Is there something wrong with her?"

Just saying the words felt like he was conceding to unbidden news.

"As you informed us early this morning," the doctor began, "your wife had been in a serious accident prior to your arriving in Port-au-Prince, correct?"

What did I do? Was this his fault? Had he taken her on a strenuous trip before she had enough time to recover?

"Mr. Slater?"

"Yes," he replied, his thoughts drifting to what could possibly be wrong. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus. "Yes, she was in a fire recently. She inhaled a lot of smoke, but the doctor assured me, she and the baby were fine."

"I'm afraid there were complications to Mrs. Slater's pregnancy that her doctor couldn't have foreseen," he explained softly.

"What are you talking about?" Zach didn't know how Dr. Madden, a prestigious doctor, could have missed something. Not when it was so important. "Tell me," he demanded. "What is wrong with Kendall?"

"Mr. Slater," the doctor moved in closer, as if to comfort him, "I'm sorry."

"W-what?" He backed away, refusing the kind gesture. "What happened to Kendall and the baby?"

"There were complications due to the stress and injury sustained by your wife..."

"Spit it out!" Zach didn't know how more he could take. It was as if he were trying to drag out the matter - make him suffer. "What is wrong with my wife?"

"You and your wife have lost your child."

--&--

It was like a dream and she had just woken up. Repelled by the smell of sterilization, Kendall was confused. She had been discharged from the PV General. In fact, she remembered flying to Haiti with Zach. Where am I?

Tiredly, Kendall forced her heavy lids open, cringing as the bright light of day intruded on the comforting darkness. "Zach," she coughed, her mouth dry and tasted of paste. "Zach, where are you?"

She closed her eyes, recounting the events of the past few days. None of it had been a dream. She remembered the flight and the awkward realization that they would have to share a room. There had been a heated conversation, which had left her frightened and regretful. Kendall could even recall the silent conversations she had with herself, trying to snap herself out of the impulse to call the divorce off. The night heat...

Her hand slid across her stomach, as the crisp itchy linen under her touch, suddenly filled her whole body with dread. The heat, the fever, the fear and pain - it all came rushing back. Oh, please God. She clenched her stomach, as if the gesture would somehow protect the life that was growing inside her. The baby...what happened to the baby?

--&--

As he tried to slip into the room unnoticed, Zach was startled to see Kendall curled up in a fetal position. Sweat gleamed upon her brow, as her eyes remained shut; her lips were moving, yet no words were heard. "Kendall," he whispered. Rushing to her side, he ran his fingers through her tangled curls, lowering his lips to her ear. "Kendall, wake up."

Her body felt like it was running its own course. Kendall wanted to wake up; but her eyes remained shut, paralyzed by fear.

"Honey," he said soothingly into her ear. Stroking her hair, as if the simple gesture would somehow draw her out of the nightmare she was in. "C'mon, baby. Wake up for Zach."

"No," she gasped as she sat up abruptly, her eyes wide open.

Startled by her sudden arousal, he smiled softly and comfortingly. "Hey there." His hands grasped her shoulders, as if to steady her. Her breathing was heavy and erratic. Her eyes seemed dilated and unfocused. "It was just a dream," he said reassuringly. "Just a bad dream."

Kendall licked her lips, her eyes darting around the unfamiliar room, trying to separate the nightmare from reality. What happened? She began to tremble, allowing her body to crumble into the open arms before her. "What is going on?" she cried out, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. "What is going on?"

It's like she already knows. Zach watched helplessly as Kendall physically began reacting to the unknown miscarriage., unable to anything but rest her head against his chest and hold her tightly. Her body was almost convulsing, it was shaking so hard.

"Mrs. Slater." The doctor's timing was impeccable.

Zach glanced furtively at the physician standing half-in and half-out of the hospital room. It was as if the man knew there was more pain to be brought upon the woman he cradled in his arms. "Not now," he said hoarsely, trying not to alert Kendall to the messenger of bad tidings.

"Mr. Slater," Dr. Mulatto answered. "Please."

"I said not now!" he said more forcefully this time.

Zach's sharp, commanding voice drew her from the emotional turmoil and back into the present. Forcing herself to regain some semblance of composure, she pulled away from his comforting embrace. "W-what's going on?" she asked, wiping away her tears. Her body involuntarily shuddered as it tried to catch its breath.

"Nothing to worry about now," Zach cooed gently, meanwhile his steady gaze remained upon the restless doctor.

Kendall gaze darted between the Zach, who seemed tense beyond all reason, and the doctor, who seemed mixed with compassion and fear. "What's going on here?" She didn't like what was going on between Zach and the man who apparently was her doctor? "Who are you?" she asked, wanting to confirm her suspicions.

"Kendall." Zach turned and forced Kendall to look him in the eye. "You shouldn't do this now," he said worriedly. "Your body is trying to recover..."

"Recover from what?" Kendall glanced over at the short, stocky man in the white labcoat. He seemed hesitant to speak, glancing over at Zach.

"You were brought in by your husband," the doctor spoke cautiously, "early this morning."

Every muscle in his body tensed, waiting to hear how the doctor would approach this situation. He had instructed Dr. MUlatto not to speak about the miscarriage, and when the man entered the room, Zach knew the man had not quite understood his 'orders'. "You weren't feeling well," he interrupted the kindly doctor. "And so I brought you to the hospital."

"A-And what did you find wrong with me?" It was the million dollar question. Of course, right now, it was only addressing her physical well-being. The other stuff...that would have to wait.

"Kendall," Zach hedged, wishing she wouldn't press the subject. "Don't."

She locked gazes with her husband, his dark eyes revealing something she had never seen before - fear. Something was so wrong. Kendall wanted to hide. She wanted to pull the covers over her head and run away from the reality that was knocking on her door.

He silently willed her to look away. Just this once, Zach prayed that she let 'that something' slide. Her life had been invested in this child, more deeply than he ever realized until that moment, when he saw her subconscious' violent reaction to the fact it had been robbed of new life.

"Tell me," she said, tearing her gaze from Zach and rested determinedly upon the doctor. "Tell me what is so bad."

"Mrs. Slater," Dr. Mulatoo began quietly, fidgeting with the chart in his hand. "As I stated earlier, you arrived to our emergency unit, incoherent and..."

"Stop," Zach commanded, rising from Kendall's hospital bed.

"Zach what are you doing?"

"Mr. Slater," the doctor spoke, his voice rising as if suddenly offended, "please do not make this any harder..."

"Dr. Mulatto," he said, his voice low and steady. "I'm sure you will understand when I tell you to: Get out."

"Zach, stop it." His behavior was frightening her. It had to be something horrible to cause him to react in such a retaliatory way.

"Since you've forced my hand," Zach said, his gaze never leaving the doctor. "I will need a moment to speak to my wife."

The doctor seemed ready to protest; but at the last minute, he nodded agreeably and exited quietly.

"What the hell was that?" Kendall exclaimed angrily.

"Kendall..." His voice suddenly became soft and hoarse.

"I don't believe you," she said, folding her arms across her chest and slumping back against the bed. "He's my doctor, Zach. Not yours. And just because you and I are still 'legally bound' to each other does not give you the right to..."

"Kendall!"

"What?" she yelled, matching his fervor.

"Listen to me," he said gently. His lips parted, but no words came. How am I supposed to tell her?

"What?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Was it the something you shut the poor doctor up about?" she challenged, pulling her knees to her chest. She didn't know why she did it. It felt comforting in someway, as if it would protect her from what was about to descend upon her. "Because I'm sure if it's some medical diagnosis, he'd explain it a whole heck of a lot better than..."

"Kendall, will you stop rambling?" He knew her flurry of words and accusations was a defensive mechanism. Kendall knew in the back of her mind that something was wrong. And she was doing everything she could to prolong it - prolong the arrival of the words he never wanted to say.

"Fine," she said dejectedly. "Explain." She gestured at him that she was waiting.

He sat down on the edge of her bed, slipping his hands into hers and resting them in her lap. How was he supposed to explain to her that the miracle that was supposed to redeem herself in Greenlee's eyes as well as her own was gone?

"Speak," she commanded, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. Cocky and arrogant Zach she could take; but solemn, foreboding Zach was something else. "Say something." She tried to pull her hands from his grasp, but he only clung to them harder.

"Last night," he began, unable to look her in the eyes, "I brought you into the ER. You were delusional and in agony." The memory of that night sent a shiver down his spine. He had no idea what had been wrong. It had come upon her quickly and violently. "Dr. Mulatto," he said, glancing back at the closed door. "He took you into the ER."

"I faintly remember," Kendall said softly, as the memory of rushing lights and Zach's soothing voice swirled in her head.

"You were in there for what seemed like forever," he sighed, staring down at her thin frail hands. "And then they wheeled you right past me. No one wanted to tell me what was going on."

"Because you cared so much," she said dryly, shaking her head.

"Don't." Zach cut her off abruptly, grasping her chin and forcing her to meet his gaze. He had said the words, but her rejection or disbelief cut him to the bone. He had never lied about that - his feelings for her. "I won't say it again, Kendall," he paused, "I care."

Kendall wanted to turn away, but he wouldn't let her. His index finger kept her gaze fixed upon his. It was then that she saw that he truly meant it. She had always questioned the merit of his affection. Part of her had believed that it was all in her head. She saw what she wanted to see, and that was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place. "I-I know," she said quietly, finally willing to accept those words - his declaration to her. "I know that you do."

"And I want you to know I will always be here for you."

Again, with the foreboding.

"Because I care."

"W-Why are you saying all of this?" she said, bursting out in frustration. She was tired of circling around the truth that he seemed to believe would break her. "It's like I'm on my death bed or something."

"No," Zach sighed, now wishing he had let the doctor speak the truth. "You're not dying." Though when he told her, she might wish she were.

"Then what is it?" She was ready to throw things. Her body was wracked with anxiety that something could be wrong with the baby. The baby. Her thoughts trailed back to her last memory of last night...

'Zach, the baby. I think there is something wrong with the baby.'

Kendall closed her eyes, wishing she had never woken up. The nightmare seemed like child's play compared to this...Oh please God, no.

"Kendall, we lost the baby."

--&--

No. He was lying. This man, whom she believed had a heart worth loving, was a liar. He had proved it time and time again.

And he was doing it to her face. He had no qualms allowing Greenlee to suffer during Ryan's so-called 'death'. This was just payback; whether it was for choosing to divorce him or having another man's child. He had said he was behind her all the way, but he hadn't been.

"I'm sorry, Kendall."

No. It's not true. Her heart felt like it had stopped. Was she breathing? Shaking her head, she cradled her stomach, as everything around her was beginning to blur. Suddenly she felt hot wet tears scorching their path down her cheeks. No, baby, I'm here. You're still with me.

"Kendall, honey?" The lone cold voice echoed in the distance, as she struggled to understand why he would hurt her like this. What had she done to him? "Are you all right?" he asked, touching her arm.

"Get away from me!" she screamed, pushing him away. She wanted nothing from him. Never ever again. "Don't touch me."

Scrambling to free herself from the tangle of sheets, Kendall tried to escape from her white-washed prison. What did I do? What did I do to deserve this? She felt a lump in her throat, as she struggled against the well of tears brimming over.

She had to get out of there.

"Kendall."

And there he was again!

"Just stay away," she yelled, as she found her arms entangled, unable to be free. He was trying to capture her arms, keep her a prisoner. "You are a liar. YOU ARE LYING!"

--&--

"You are a liar. YOU ARE LYING!"

Her eyes were wild; her face heated, and her arms struggling against him. She fought to run; but there was nowhere to run. Kendall had lost her child, and there was no running from that truth.

"I'm here," he whispered, trying to calm her. "I'm right here."

"No!" she shouted fiercely. "Get away from me."

Her breathing was heavy and fast. He knew she was beginning to hyperventilate, as she still fought to wrest herself from his grasp. "Kendall, stop fighting me," he said calmly, though his heart was breaking for her. "Please."

"You're lying to me," she declared through tears. She looked at him as if he were a stranger. "Why? Why do you want to hurt me like this? Why?" Her green eyes searched his in desperation and anger.

"I'm not," he said hoarsely. "I'm not."

"Oh God, why?" Her body rose, as if straining to expel its' demons from its' weak human shell. "Why?"

The harder she struggled against him, the tighter he held her. Her body rebelled against his control. I'm so sorry. He had never experienced this type of agony, finding himself struggling with his own emotions.

Her body pushed against him, her voice filling the room with its strangled cries, before collapsing against him. Her body shaking in his arms. Zach closed the distance her struggle had put between them, as her body began to shudder, wracked with anguished sobs. "No," she sobbed. "He's not gone...you're wrong!"

He held her tightly, caressing her hair; as he felt hot wet tears burn down his own cheeks. "I wish I were, Kendall," he whispered into her ear. "I wish I was."