Disclaimer: Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.
Title: The Dance That We Do
Author: Jayta
Rating: PG13
Show: All My Children
A/N: I am surviving you guys...I think. Actually, I'm pretty happy that I managed to bring out this update. Since I didn't know when I'd get another chance. Plus, Liz was harping on me...AGAIN.
A/N 2: Beth. Beth. Beth. You're sooooo not going to be happy with me. Actually, be prepared. This chapter is pretty short. But I hope all of you, with I'm sure with the exception of Beth, will be pleased with the update ;)

Chapter Twelve: Learning From My Mistakes

And in how many ways did I screw that one up? Kendall stared at the closed hotel room door. He hadn't come back. Part of her prayed that it would open again, revealing his statuesque form, with a wry expression, admitting that he could never leave her.

But it didn't happen that way.

It had been at least a half an hour since he had professed his love and left her standing on the terrace...alone.

And honestly, she knew it was her fault. She was going to tell him that she loved him. When his words finally had penetrated the wall she had built, shattering her defenses and piercing the armor she had kept to protect herself, Kendall had wanted to tell him. But then he began telling her that he knew she didn't love him, and that he hoped that she would be able to find someone for her to love as he loved her; all of it happened so fast.

Stupid. I was so stupid.

Kendall crumpled onto couch, covering her face with her hands, succombing to the sobs that wracked her body.

This was insane. He had boarded the jet, prepared to head to parts unknown, when they had been flagged down. It had been slightly foggy when he boarded but...Weather unpermitting.

--&--

Sitting in front of the Bellevue, Zach was unable to decide whether it was the smart thing to return to the place where he had just let go of the single most important woman in his life. What am I going to do? His pilot refused to fly, even though he had offered a substantial bonus to his annual salary if they could leave right then.

He certainly could not spend another night in the same suite with Kendall. It would be impossible. He couldn't imagine she would want him there after what had occurred that night. Finally opening the door, Zach walked up to the front desk, pondering what exactly he should do.

"Mr. Slater, you've come back," the front desk agent smiled welcomingly.

"Yes," he replied casually. He could not stay with Kendall, but if they had another room..."I will be needing a room."

"Your wife is still staying in the honeymoon suite, sir?"

"I will be needing another room," he repeated himself, his tone firm, commanding no questions be asked.

"Certainly, Mr. Slater."

"And I do not want Mrs. Slater to know that I am here," Zach informed, locking eyes with the front desk agent. "Is that clear?"

"Of course," the man answered quickly, handing him a registration form. Hesitantly he looked at Zach, "Will you still be taking care of the balance of both rooms? Or will Mrs. Slater be taking care of her own costs?"

"No," Zach frowned. "I will be taking care of everything. Do not bother her for any reason."

"Yes, Mr. Slater. You are in Room 1210."

"If I'm correct, that's near Mrs. Slater's suite?"

"Y-Yes, sir. Is that a problem?" Najam asked anxiously. "Because I can move you to another room, if this isn't to your liking?"

"No." Zach stared at the key card for a moment before snapping out of his reverie. "This will be fine," he replied distantly. "It's fine."

--&--

She had cried herself to sleep. The dull throbbing in her heart remained as she awoke, groggily untangling herself from the blankets left on the couch by Zach. They still smelled like him.

'God, what am I going to do?' she thought.

Kendall was tired of picking herself up time and time again from heartbreak. Whether it was the fault of the person she had chosen to love or it was her own folly, she was tired of the it ending in the same result. Her, alone.

Suddenly she heard the click of the coded lock. Frowning, Kendall smoothed her disheveled hair back, unsure of who could possibly have access to her room. "Who's there?" she demanded anxiously.

There was no answer.

The door opened a crack, stopping, as if whoever controlled it hesitated for a moment, before continuing its slow reveal. Kendall held her breath, unsure of whether to scream or run away. But it was neither of those options. "Zach." He stood there, his expression morose, his brow furrowed, like he did not want to be there.

'I can't screw this up again,' she thought to herself.

"Don't say anything," she whispered, walking over to him. Grabbing his hand in hers, she pulled him into the room. "Please, there's something I need to say to you."

He nodded.

"Zach, I made a mistake. I was so wrong," she blurted out, clinging to the hand in hers. "I wanted so much to believe you. But I couldn't. I just couldn't let myself do it."

Kendall couldn't believe that he was really here. She never got second chances. But here he was, listening to her. Here he was, with her.

"You don't know how hard I had to fight against this. I didn't love you. In fact, I hated you. I thought I hated everything you stood for. That was what made this a perfect match. I could never love you." She looked into his dark brown eyes, as they stared longingly into hers. "But you changed; or I stopped seeing you the way I used to," she said, trying to find the right words to convince him to stay. "It was everything you said to me. I saw you treat Bianca with such love and tenderness, even though you tried to your hardest to hide it. You were loyal to a fault."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Oh god, I'm sorry, Zach," she said, tears running down her cheek. "I told you that I didn't want this. I can't believe I told you to take it back." She shook her head, pulling his hand closer to her. "I saw the pain I caused. But it was something I still couldn't hear, do you understand?"

He did not say anything, but instead, stared at her in confusion.

"I love you, Zach Slater!" she blurted out. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She could not hold it in any longer. She could not lie to herself or to him anymore. "You were always there. I wanted to pretend that it was just in your best interest - that you were doing it out of some sense of obligation. But I see now. I see that you love me. I see that you r-really truly love me."

"Kendall..." Both his hands grasped hers tightly.

She searched his eyes, hoping against all hope that it wasn't too late. Kendall prayed that her declaration of love wasn't too late. "Tell me I wasn't too late," she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. "Tell me it isn't too late for our love."

Her eyes met his, as if truly seeing him for the first time, as she inched closer to him. Holding her breath, wondering if he'd pull away, she lowered her lips upon his, her eyes never leaving his. "I love you," she whispered, before indulging in the warmth of his lips.

----&----

"I love you, Zach."

Suddenly there was a loud thud outside her door. Kendall sat up, startled by the abstract noise, her arms wrapped around a down-feather pillow. Her heart was pounding as the memory of Zach's lips on hers lingered. Her hand grazed her lips before staring down at the pillow she had dropped, her face warm and flush. It had been a dream. It had only been a dream.

Closing her eyes, Kendall sunk forward, as the painful loss flooded over her again.

--&--

His room was down the corridor and to the left of the honeymoon suite he had just vacated. The bellman had already taken his luggage to his room, while he was trying to rearrange meetings around his sudden inability to depart this god-forsaken island. As he strode past the room, Zach could not help but pause in front of the door.

'Take it back!'

'You want to hurt me, is that it?'

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the memory of those accusations from his mind. As hard as he tried, he always managed to screw everything up. Letting out a deep breath, Zach opened his eyes, placing his hand upon the door. "At least I'm learning from my mistakes," he whispered softly to Kendall. "And I'm letting go before I hurt you even more."

He hoped that she could be happy now. Or at least at peace. He did not want to cause her anymore strife or confusion with declarations of love. His hand dropped to his side. Get a grip on these emotions run amok. He would get back to the life he knew, he had made for himself; he had to make his love for Kendall disappear. He had to make it so it didn't matter anymore.