I'll Believe That

"Colette! Are you okay?"

She had suddenly kneeled to the stone floor just outside the interior of the Triet Ruins. "I'm…fine…"

"You're not fooling anyone, honey," I told her, and knelt beside her, gently placing my hand on her back.

Raine knelt in front of her. "Her lips are turning purple. We must get her to a doctor in the city immediately!"

"Wait," said Kratos. "It's best not to move her."

"Why?" asked someone.

"Remember the angel's words." He closed his eyes and got his pensive-Kratos look. "The angel transformation process requires her to overcome a trial. Rather than taking her to a doctor, it would be best to let her rest here."

Colette looked up guiltily. "I'm…okay. I'll be fine after a little rest. I'm sorry to cause so much trouble…"

"Stop apologizing all the time, you dork! It's not as if you can help it. You were suddenly turned into an angel," Lloyd reminded her.

Colette sighed. "You're right…I'm sorry."

Lloyd sighed, as well. "Well, let's set up camp before it gets dark."

"Yes, that would probably be a good idea," said Raine.

We set about our various tasks. After we had set up a fire pit, it occurred to us…

"We don't have anything to burn," said Genis.

"Hey, you're right," said Lloyd. "We're in a desert, so there's no wood…"

"There's probably some driftwood down by the beach," supplied Kratos.

"Good thinking," said Raine.

"Gah! Stop knowing everything!" snapped Lloyd. Kratos blinked at him. So he can blink.

"I'll go collect some, if that's okay with everyone," I volunteered.

Various people various vocal or physical indications that sure, they didn't care, and Genis said, "Why are you suddenly so mellow? And…helpful?"

I shrugged. "I'm a hormonal teenage girl. I'm entitled have mood swings." He didn't look like he quite believed me, so I amended, "That, and I'm hungry."

He nodded, and I sighed as I walked away, towards the ocean I could see in the near distance. Is that how they see me…? Just a…a greedy little weirdo? …Well, I can see why they would… My thoughts were interrupted by a certain red-clad swordsman. "Hey, you sure you wanna go down there by yourself? It's kinda far away, and it's getting dark."

I looked up at him, startled by his concern. "Oh…yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. And I'd kinda like some time to myself and all."

"Well, okay," he said, still looking skeptical, but obviously not wanting to get into a fight about it. I sighed again and continued towards the ocean. A greedy, weak little weirdo.

The sun was setting, and I remembered that deserts tended to get cold at night. Indeed, it was already quite chilly, and I shivered slightly, and put on my hoodie. I then allowed myself to get lost in my thoughts as I walked.

They really don't want me here, do they…? No, I suppose not…why would they? I'm a greedy, weak, annoying little weirdo, and that's probably all I am to them at this point… I sighed yet again. That's all I am to myself at the moment. …Heh, I think in italics… I smiled darkly to myself as the author in my narrated my thoughts and actions.

And she continued to walk, slightly chilled by the cool night air. Her footsteps fell softly, muffled, in the sand, as she sighed for what must have been the millionth time. This whole "journey" thing will be much easier if I can get them to like me, she thought to herself, but I'm such a brat by nature. All she could do was win them over one at a time, but that felt so…manipulative, for some reason. Granted, she genuinely wanted them to like her, and not so they would trust her or anything—trust was a fragile thing, and she generally just avoided the concept altogether—but she hated lying to them…but what could she do?

Aya absently noted to herself that the desert sand had changed into that of the beach variety, if there was any difference. There probably wasn't, but in any case, she was on the beach. Indeed, there was driftwood lying about. As she bent to begin her task of collecting some, she felt someone behind her.

-…-

Wait, I do feel someone behind me. I straightened, and turned stiffly around to see if my inconsistent instincts had been correct. As it turned out, they had, and thought I was half-expecting to see the figure standing there, anyway, I still jumped and shrieked.

"God, you're just as bad as toast!"

I couldn't make out his face, but I got the distinct impression he was raising an eyebrow. "Indeed?"

"'Indeed' is my word," I said automatically. Then I blinked. I knew that voice. "I know that voice."

"You should, by now," said Yuan. "I'd be insulted if you didn't."

"Really…?" A pause. Then, "Gosh, whoever could that be? I do not remember this person at all."

"You're not very convincing."

"I'm not trying to be. So," I said, trying to hurry things along a bit, "what's up, Mister Blue-Haired Man With a Cape?"

He walked closer, and I could now see that the figure did indeed have blue hair and a cape. "I meant to interrogate you before, but was kind of…busy, and then you ran away."

"The beds are impossible to get comfortable on and the food sucks."

"Yes, the guards informed me that you were whining about that quite a bit."

"I didn't really have anything better to do."

"True. In any case, I have some questions to ask you."

I shrugged. "Sure, fine, whatever, but could you talk to me while I'm collecting wood? Triet Desert doesn't really supply much in the way of flammable material."

He raised an eyebrow, and I could actually see it this time. "I would much rather have your full attention."

"And I would much rather get back before morning."

He chuckled. "Very well."

"Many thanks, o mighty one."

I could feel his eyes on me as I set about my task. "You're awfully impudent."

"Such is my nature. It tends to get me in trouble sometimes. But people tend to like me anyway, and I have no idea why," I explained truthfully. "…Well, not Kratos, but I don't think he really likes anyone. Like, 'Nooo, amiability is the devil.'"

"Yes, I've noticed that… Anyway, where did you come from?"

"The sky."

"Yes, but where were you before you appeared in the sky?"

"Beats me." I could practically hear his eyebrow raise as I wandered over to another piece of driftwood and elaborated, "I got that whole amnesia thing going on, see."

"Really." It was more of a statement than a question.

I meant to say "really really" but it came out as more of an "augh." I had fallen over due to a fish-attack. I scrambled away crab-style , giving the fish a not-very-intimidating glare. "What are you doing up here on land, you little freakoid?"

The fish didn't answer, instead opting to lunge at my knee. I batted it away.

"Damnit, Lloyd is Fish-Boy, not me," I told it.

It didn't seem to care as it lunged again.

This time I sidestepped. "I'm not even a melee fighter! Couldn't you wait 'til one of them came down here?"

It couldn't.

"How am I supposed to be a pacifist if even the friggin' fish attack me?" I halfheartedly kicked it, muttering "Punt!"

It crawled right back at me.

I sighed. "You ass. I got enough direct combat in one effing fight and I don't want any more." With that, I grabbed the thing by the tail and lifted it above my head. While it was still busy being startled to fight back, I whirled it around in circles a couple times, then released. "Hammer Throw!"

I couldn't see very well due to lack of proper illumination, but I watched anyway as it flew out to sea. There was a splash on the edge of my hearing.

I sighed, this time in relief, and turned around. "So, Mister- wha? Dude, where'd you go?" Alas, dear Yun-Yun had left me. How tragic. "How rude."

I shrugged it off and went over to the little pile of wood I had collected and gathered it up in my arms to carry back to camp. Dudeness, I learned two new techs. Sweet.

"Aya? What took you? Everyone's hungry and I can't cook without a fire."

"You're welcome," I grumbled as I unceremoniously dropped the now-dry wood in the fire pit, "and thanks so much for your concern."

Genis sweatdropped as he cast a quick Fireball. "Oh, um, how are you?"

"Fine, thanks," I said sarcastically, and plopped down next to the fire. "Could we have something with fish?"

"Why?"

"Let's just say I'm feeling particularly nasty towards fish right now and would derive some sort of sick pleasure from eating some."

"You were attacked?"

"Yeah." I chose to leave out the bit about Yuan. They don't have to know that.

"Oh, sorry. I guess that's what took you so long, huh?"

"Ya think?" I scoffed, then sighed. "Sorry for being so sour. It's not like you sent the fish to attack me…did you?"

"No." Genis grinned at the feigned look of suspicion I sent his way, probably glad that my humor was returning. And he doesn't even know how unpleasant I can be…

We ate. There was some conversation, but tuned it out, absently noting Colette wasn't eating anything. I went to bed right after. As always, I had insomnia that night. I fell asleep thinking about Kratos, then Yuan. Did they go through all that when they turned into angels…?

"Aya," came the voice of Genis.

"Mmph."

"It's morning."

"That's nice."

"Get up."

"Later."

"Now."

"No want to."

"We'll be leaving in a sec."

"Good for you."

"Do you want us to leave you here?"

"If it means I get to sleep in."

"-…-"

"-…-"

"Icicle!"

"YAAA! COLDCOLDCOLDCOLDCOLD!" I jumped up off my bedroll. "I'm up, I'm up! Jeez…"

Genis shrugged. "It was a very weak version of the spell. And hey, it got you up."

"Yeah, yeah…" I rolled up my bedroll and stuffed it into the enormous pack that somehow held everyone's stuff, then stood up and stretched. After I had stuffed some of last night's leftovers in my mouth, causing my cheeks to bulge out like a chipmunk, I glanced back down at where the pack should have been, but there was nothing there. I looked around. Nobody else had it. Come to think of it, I don't remember anyone bringing it, either. It had faded from existence, as though it had never been there to begin with. I swallowed. "Hey, Genis?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened to the pack?"

"What pack?"

"The one we put all our stuff in…"

"We don't have a pack."

"Then where does all the stuff go when we're not using it?"

He frowned. "Hey, you know, I don't-" He stopped, and clutched a hand to his head. "Oww, my head…"

"Headache? You okay?"

He looked up. "No, it's gone now. Now, what were we talking about?"

"The pack-"

"Oww!" He rubbed his head for a moment, then looked up again. "Okay, what were talking about just now?"

"…Never mind." Guess that explains how they're able to carry so much stuff with no visible pack and not think twice about it. Sort of.

"Let's get going," said Kratos. He was giving me a rather irritated look.

"Sorry, sorry…"

I sighed as we walked along. Kratos really doesn't like me, does he? I snorted slightly. Of course he doesn't. I'm an annoying, greedy, weak little weirdo. He doesn't want me here. I glared at the ground. Well, Kratty, I don't really have much of a choice here. I don't want to be here, either. Is it too much to ask to just be, I don't know, somewhat nice? Or at least not hostile? I sighed again. Yeah. It really is. This is Kratos, after all…

"Hey, Aya, what'd that sand ever do to you?"

I looked up at Lloyd, who had jerked me out of my self-pity. "Huh?" I said intelligently.

"Well, you're giving it a glare like you're about to kill something…"

"…Oh." I smiled at him. "Just thinking, is all."

He cocked his head to one side like a puppy. "What about?"

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just stuff."

"…You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope."

He crossed his arms and gave me a look of mock-seriousness. "Well, in that case, you have to tell me something else."

"What?"

"Stuff."

"Lloyd…"

He laughed. "I was just wondering what you were talking about with the muffin thing, back at the Ruins."

"Oh, that." I grinned. "That was from my theory on angels."

"What's you theory on angels?" asked Raine, who had happened to overhear.

"Well…" I cleared my throat, then said, in a louder voice, "Aya's Theory on Angels. …By Aya."

I now had the entire group's attention. I could only tell Kratos was listening because he rolled his eyes.

"IN THE BEGINNING, there were… muffins," I began, my voice rising and falling in pitch and volume theatrically. "These muffins… were not just any muffins. They were magical muffins. Holy muffins, in fact. Those of the highest order were of the blueberry variety. Some still hold blueberry muffins to be sacred today, and savor every bite as if it were their LAST! Their numbers are few…very few. There's only one that I know of, and that's me, a devote follower of the Muffin God."

"Muffin God…?" said Genis incredulously. "Oh, come on."

"SILENCE, INFIDEL!" He cowered. "You know nothing of these matters, so do not interrupt!" I cleared my throat again. "Anyway, these holy muffins were the best muffins in all the world…and, therefor, the tastiest. But they were muffins nonetheless, and looked almost exactly the same as the common muffin. They looked so similar, in fact, that people would often mistake them for an ordinary muffin. Thus, many a noble muffin met his or her end when eaten by the ignorant.

"It was tragic—so tragic that the Muffin God took pity on his delicious disciples. He gave them new, human forms, but with wings. These new forms, as was intended by His Muffinliness, were considerably more impressive than the previous. In these new forms, people would be more inclined to worship them and less inclined to eat them. These transformed muffins came to be known as angels. And that is the origin of the angels."

I was, by now, getting some considerably odd looks, and continued: "BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! The Muffin God decided to take a more human form, as well, and so came about He who is known today as…The Muffin Man. He wanders the world still, in disguise, and few know his true identity…but I do."

"Who?" asked Colette.

"Why, He is none other than…" I pointed dramatically. "KRATOS!" Jaws dropped. "Yes, my friends, the mercenary Kratos is secretly The Muffin Man! I knew it from when I first set eyes upon him!"

There was a relative silence as we continued to walk, our legs on auto-pilot, while everyone's heads were turned to stare at me. Kratos had the most amusing expression on his face. Then he recomposed himself. "I am not, nor have I ever been or ever will be, anything related to muffins."

"You cannot hide from me, Kratos. I know who you really are…" Ironically, that, at least, was true.

"…I refuse to continue this ridiculous conversation."

"Very well, Your Muffinliness." He just turned around and continued as before. The only indication that he had heard me at all was the way his eye way twitching. He really won't like me now, but that was worth it.

Lloyd spoke. "…Do you really believe that?"

"Hmm?" I looked at him. "Oh, no. As much as I love blueberry muffins, it's complete nonsense. I just made that all up."

"It makes a nice story, though," said Colette cheerfully.

"…Where do you come up with this stuff?" asked Genis.

"Ah, a question I have often wondered myself." I shrugged. "The demented recesses of my twisted little mind, I guess."

"I'll believe that," said Lloyd.

We walked on.

A/N: This hasn't been proofread yet. Sorry. If you catch any mistakes, any at all, tell me. And Nee-chan, turn on your cellphone, you idiot.

A huge thanks to all that reviewed.

Oh, by the way—my older sister, the aforementioned Nee-chan, actually wrote an insert. (Welcome to the dark side.) Its story id is 2700348, if you're interested. It's not really a plug, and she didn't ask me to mention it, but I just think it's amusing how different we are in temperment.