Tall, Dark, and Scary
"We should probably stop for supplies before we continue for Ossa Trail," said Kratos as we stopped just outside Triet. There were various grunts of agreement/indifference and we trudged through the town gates.
"Hey," said Lloyd, "before I got captured, this weapons-maker guy said he would make some equipment for free if we supplied him with the materials. I'm gonna go check that out. Anyone want to come with me?"
"I'd like to be alone for a while," said Kratos, and wandered off.
"I'll come," volunteered Colette.
"No, you won't," scolded Raine. "You still need rest."
"But I feel fine." The Professor's eyes flashed dangerously and Colette caved. "Okay, I'll rest."
"Very good. I'll come with you to make sure that you do." They headed towards the inn.
"I'm tired," yawned Genis, and followed them.
"Me, too," I said. "I'll go-argh."
A voice had rung out in my head a little louder than necessary. "You go, too."
"Didn't have to yell…" Lloyd looked at me, and I coughed. "Um, yeah, as I was saying, I'll go."
"You were saying you're tired."
"I'll live. Let's go," I growled irritably. Lloyd shrugged and led us down a street to the left, while I grumbled under my breath, "This better be worth it, Shiro."
"Shiro?"
"Like, you know, Japanese for 'white' without adjective-ness… white, for you."
"You think of 'Shiro' as a dog's name."
"Well, you were a dog when you first spoke to me."
"It's also a boy's name."
"It was a boy dog."
"Aya…"I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. Shiroko, then."
"Is that even a name?""I don't know. But it's feminine. According to me, just add a 'ko' and it's feminine."
"Why the Japanese?""Because I said so."
"You're talking out loud, you know."
"Oh." She left, and I noticed Lloyd staring at me. It occurred to me that that must have been an odd conversation if he could only hear one side of it. "What? Never heard a chick talk to herself before?"
"What's Japanese?"
Shitshitshit. "It's a…dog." I nodded. "It's a breed of dog, also known as a Shiba dog, or Shiba inu." Good save.
"Oh," said Lloyd. "Anyway, the guy's right over there."
"…So he is."
It was now, of all times, as Lloyd talked to the guy, that it suddenly occurred to me that people looked quite different when not in the slightly chibi-ified form of the game. I mean, that guy was bald before, but now he's really bald…though that makes no sense. Bald was bald, but the realness extenuated it somehow.
Lloyd was talking. I looked back at him. "What?"
"Were you listening to me at all?"
"No."
He sighed. "I asked if you'd like him to upgrade your maces." I shrugged and handed them over, only slightly unnerved by the insane glint in the man's eyes as he took them. Lloyd didn't seem to notice. "I forgot to ask the others for theirs. Will you go collect them for me?"
"Can't you do it yourself?"
"Well…" He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, "That guy makes me a little nervous, and I don't really like the idea of leaving him alone with our weapons, so…"
So he did notice. "Gotcha. Everyone?"
"Yeah."
"Even Kratos?"
"I guess…"
"But Kratos is scary."
"You didn't seem to scared of him this morning when you accused him of being the Muffin Man."
"No, but now I'll be alone and unarmed."
He sweatdropped. "I don't think he's going to attack you."
"He's still scary." Lloyd gave me a look, and I sighed. "Fine, fine…but I'm not going to spend forever trying to find him."
"Whatever." He turned back to watch the weapon-guy, who was giggling as he worked. I stuck my tongue out at his back and wandered off towards the inn.
It was quiet as I pushed open the heavy door, and I felt oddly compelled to tiptoe. Ignoring that, I thumped loudly up the stairs and peeked in the first room. Genis was asleep, so I closed the door and moved on to the second.
Inside, Raine was looking out the window and Colette was lying on the bed with her eyes open, looking almost annoyed, but not quite managing it, seeing as she was Colette. I walked over to her and poked her in the shoulder.
"Psst, Colette. You want me to take your chakrams to the weapon-upgrader-guy?"
"Oh, sure, they're on the table-"
"Girls!" We jumped. Raine was giving us The Look. "Colette, you know you should be resting, and Aya, you know you shouldn't disturb her!"
"Sorry, Professor," was our meek, synchronized reply.
She sighed and shook her head. "Well, anyway, what did you need, Aya?"
"Oh! I'm collecting weapons Lloyd for the weapon-upgrader-guy." My explanation was punctuated by a thump. Colette had fallen off the bed. "Do you want me to…?"
"Yes, yes, fine, whatever," said Raine as she hurried over to fuss over Colette. "They're in my room. Colette, how on earth did you manage…"
I nodded, grabbed Colette's chakrams, and went back to the room Genis was sleeping in to collect his kendama and Raine's staff. Then I left the inn and trotted back over to where Lloyd and the guy were. Lloyd wasn't paying attention as I dropped the weapons on the ground next to him, instead opting to watch in horrified fascination at the aforementioned guy, who was by now cackling madly, while he worked.
"I'll just find Kratos, then, shall I?" I said, not expecting an answer and not receiving one. I shrugged, then turned away, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. "Let's see," I muttered, "if I were a 4000-year-old sword-and-magic-wielding seraph with an attitude problem, where would I be…?" Having no experience with being a 4000-year-old sword-and-magic-wielding seraph with an attitude problem, I came up with nothing. "Well, if I were me (and I am), where would I be? The oasis," I answered myself, nodding.
As I walked, I looked around me, again observing how freakishly real everything looked. I reached my destination, and, sure enough, there was Kratos, staring pensively into the water, looking very much like himself with his pensive-ness. I stopped several feet away from him and stared for a moment. Damn, he really is hot…
He turned. "May I help you?" he asked, also sounding very much like himself with the slight hostility in his voice.
"GWARGH!" I jumped and pointed. "It talked!" At his raised eyebrow, I coughed and moved closer. God, he's so effing hot…
"Yes?"
Hot and scary, I amended, staring up at him. He glared briefly, then rolled his eyes. After another moment, I commented, "You're really freaking tall, Kratos."
He raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I just noticed. You're tall. If I were to look up at you too long, my neck would start to hurt."
"…What brought this on?"
"The bald guy."
"…What about him?"
"He's bald. Like, really bald. As bald as you are tall," I added.
"…" said Kratos.
"Man, only you and Rude can vocalize dot-dot-dot."
"…You're making no sense."
"Get used to it. Hey…" I paused. "I came here to talk to you or something for a reason, but now I forgot what it was. It's because you're tall. Stupid tallness. I'm so mad right now," I stated impassively.
"…" said Kratos.
"God, repeat yourself much?"
"…What?"
"Nothing. Never mind. I'm in an odd mood," I said, bemusedly realizing I now had him thoroughly confused. "I'll be going now. Bye, Mister Muffin Man. Ha, an alliteration. Like a lava lamp or something…haha…"
I turned and wandered back the way I came, leaving him to wonder what the hell was wrong with me. I'm nutso, Kratty dear…touched in the head…completely mental. I was, alas, in one of those moods where my train of thought had fully derailed and set fire to the already roundabout tracks. In these moods, I would say any old thing that popped into my head, and these were usually extremely random to anyone other than myself. There was a logic to it. Just not a very logical logic.
Almost running into Lloyd, however, broke me out of that mood. More or less.
"I take it you didn't get his sword."
"Hmm?" I blinked at him dreamily.
"Kratos's sword."
"Oh…oh yeah. No. I forgot."
"Forgot? How could you forget?"
"He's tall," I explained. I giggled. "Tall, dark, and scary. Haha. Kratos."
"O-kay," said Lloyd. "Anyway, he's done. Here are your maces."
"The finished product, eh…?" I took them. "They don't look any different."
Lloyd shrugged. "He added a Wolf's Fang to 'em and says they're stronger now or something. I don't know, and I'd rather not ask," he said, shooting a nervous glance at the now perfectly calm guy. "Oh, and I also got you these," he added, handing me something. "They're Leather Gloves."
"They look more like gauntlets to me."
He shrugged again. "I didn't name them."
"Hmm." I tried them on and flexed my fingers, somewhat startled that they fit my small hands. "Spiffy. It's like Link's gauntlets, you know?" I laughed lightly at his expression. "No, you wouldn't, would you? Hmm…they're kind of plain. Hey, you know what these need? A Triforce inscription. One on each, on the back of the hand."
He cocked his head to one side. "What's a Triumph Fork?"
"Triforce," I corrected, giggling. Same as those fish in Windwaker. "Here, I'll show you. It's a simple little design." I knelt and drew a Triforce in the dirt.
Lloyd looked at it, then at me. "I could etch that in those, if you want."
I beamed at him. "Really?"
"Yeah. And leather is really easy to work with when it's wet…"
"Yay!" I jumped up with a delighted "Squee!" and handed them over. "Could you do them right now?"
"Sure," he said, and took them.
"Yay!" I said again, and followed him into the inn. He went into the big room on the ground floor and sat down at a desk.
"Since he just made them, they're still wet, so I won't have to soak them again," he explained, and got out some carving tools from…somewhere. I peered eagerly over his shoulder as he started to get to work, but paused. "Could you not watch me?"
I snickered evilly and said in a creepy voice, "Do I make you nervous, Lloyd?"
"Yes. Now leave the room."
"Pah." I obeyed, but sat outside the door.
After a while, I heard an "Argh!" and some music. I ran inside to find Lloyd sitting at the desk and staring at the completed left gauntlet. "It…it seems to be coming from that," he said shakily, pointing at it."
"Huh." I wandered over. The music was familiar, like the background of a tune I'd heard a million times, but without the main melody, I couldn't place it. I picked it up and slipped it on, and the music stopped. "Huh," I said again. I slipped it off again, and the music came back. On, off. On, off. On, off. On.
"Weird," concluded Lloyd.
"My thoughts exactly. Hey, finish the other one."
"You sure I should?"
"No, but I wanna see what happens."
"Fine…but only because I'm curious, too."
"Good boy." I patted him on the head (much to his chagrin), and left the room again to sit outside the door. A little while later, there was another "Argh!" and more music, this time the main melody.
I knew what the music was now.
Lloyd was backing away from the completed right gauntlet when I reentered like it was the devil come to steal his soul. I came over and slipped it on to match its partner, and, unsurprisingly, the music stopped. Then I took both gauntlets off at the same time.
It was the Zelda theme.
I left them off for a while, grinning stupidly while I listened, until Lloyd said, "Okay, can you put them back on now? They're starting to freak me out."
"Right-o." I obliged, and as they came all the way on, I saw the Triforce insignia glow yellow for a moment before fading. "Cool."
I was in a video game, and had suddenly introduced something from a whole different series to that world. Whatever magic surrounded video game worlds must have reacted. If I can get sucked into Tales of Symphonia, I can take a bit of Zelda with me.
I glanced back at Lloyd. "I think I know what's going on. Don't worry about it."
"What is it?" he inquired, only looking a little reassured.
"I said don't worry about it." Before he could probe further, I glance out the window pointedly. "Oh, my, it sure is dark out. Time to go to bed."
"But-"
"Goodnight." As Lloyd sighed, realizing he wouldn't be getting anything out of me, I made a mental note to ask Shiroko about this in the morning.
A/N: Again, not beta-ed. I'm in a bit of a rush to get this up, so...yeah.
I've been extremely depressed lately, and haven't had much inspiration in the way of funny, so...again, yeah. But I just keep getting reviews, and that makes me feel happy! I feel loved. Thank you so much, everyone who reviewed!
Tell me if you find any errors.