Flying gracefully into the compelling light of the moon, Starfire, holding the shadow Robin in bridal postiton, searches for an island unoccupied by anyone for the sole purpose of taking advantage of the lifeless young man lying in her arms.
Her hair flows softly, despite the increasing momentom her flight is gaining. Her eyes shimmer like crystals, entrancing the moon itself into her kind and warm facade.
"Oh Robin, how I've waited for you to give in and accept the powerful tension between us. You do not know the happiness that dances in my heart as you pretend to be the female companion. Your body... oh my... I must find a lifeless island quickly. It is so difficult to keep these tempting thoughts in my mind, rather than performing them for real." Her voice was wickedly shaking.
Continuing to fly over the sparkling waters, a young man watches the couple.
'Hmm... that's Starfire and Robin. What're they doing out in the ocean?' contemplates the man submerged in water.
In a fast moment, the ocean waters spring to life before the couple. Once again startled by this, "Huhh!", Starfire gasps as she takes Robin's limp body and flings it over her left shoulder, allowing her now free right hand to fire emerald starbolts at the aquatic geyser, missing every time.
She is also aiming at anything that moves. Ironically, she does not hit the geyser dead ahead of her, but given the long-range of her starbolts, they're bound to hit something. Unfortunately, for two dozen seagulls and a few migratory ducks flying lazily along the Atlantic seaboard skies their life ended far too short.
"It is alright now my BOY, whatever it was, it must now be damaged." She doesn't realize she has not made a single hit on the geyser, but unbeknownst to her, she does do damage not only to those innocent birds but nearly clips a wing of an airplane full of a now terrified bunch of passengers. To add to their horror, they find roasting ducks and scorched seagulls raining down from the sky.
(Free Thanksgiving dinner anyone?)
Screams can still be heard from the children's (make that even the adults') homes from this nightmare a month later.
After her assault finished, the geyser of water slowly separates in half, revealing the young man who views their presence.
"Aqualad!" cries the Tamaranian prin... monster.
Her eyes rest on a tall, shirtless man, sitting on top of the rushing geyser.
"Hey Star, I didn't expect a parade or anything but did you really need to fire your bolts at me?" the ocean wonder retorts.
"Oh X'HAL! I need to EXHALE!" she once again screams at her highest, disorienting Aqualad's concentration. The water stumbles over, rejoining the ocean depths.
Aqualad, now levitating over the ocean, adjusts his ears.
"Never have I seen such a beautiful ARTSRIS!" she once again screams. With this, she throws the ebony form of Robin across the ocean floor, sending him from the Atlantic Ocean all the way to the Indian Ocean.
Folding her hands greedily, she hungrily stares at him. "Oh Aqualad. You are so desirable. You remind me of Karrass!"
"Starfire! What did you do? Do you know you just sent Robin 380 miles per hour towards the Indian Ocean with a weird dark body? What in Atlantis is wrong with you?" Screams Aqualad.
"Robin? Who's Robin again. Oh MY!" Starfire gasps as her eyes widen with shock.
"Yeah Starfire, you finally realize what you just did?" he once again scolds. Starfire just remains still, with the same frozen, contorted face.
"Well?" Aqualad continues, wearing a completely worried face for the psychotic looking girl.
"You're six pack abs are shining and glistening with sweat and water. Oh my. OH MY! EXHALE EXHALE! I NEED YOU!" Starfire rams her masculine body against the Atlantean prince, breaking the 380 mile flight record Robin has previously commenced. Her breasts and face smack hard on Aqualad, bruising the descendent of an ancient undersea race.
(His skin is pretty tough. Now imagine how fast she went to actually cause this guy to bleed.)
The Tamaranian Monster changes her face into a T-Rex style concoction, desperately trying to engulf his entire body in herhuge, mustard sucking mouth. The sudden impact caused the two bodies to bounce off of each other.
With her gigantic body, of course, they'll bounce.
Author's Note: Her face does turn into a T-Rex style concoction. Watch "Date With Destiny" where she nearly goes insane and kills Kitten, the two who wanted to get Hawaiian punch, and the entire city, all because of her obssesive jealousy over Robin. I mean come on... admit it. Her face was SCARY! So, she really thinks Robin likes her huh? Oh yeah... she's VERY secure with that knowledge. That's why she acts like that. Poor wiwwlle Stawfiew!
Aqualad took this opportunity to fly as fast as he could from the Freddy Kruger look-alike.
"NO! YOU ARE ALL MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! MINESSSS!' (remember: sarcasm)I have CLAIMED YOU. YOU ARE MY PROPERTY, MY WATERBOY! NO ONE TAKES MY WATERBOY." at that moment, she starts throwing fists at the air, assuming the air was the invisible force taking her WATERBOY!
Aqualad, soaring in terror, turns around and watches Starfire punching and kicking the air.
"I'm going home." That said, he dives back into the deepest, I mean deepest, darkest trenches of the ocean floor... floor I tell you... FLOOR! He decides not to resurface for the next few months, just to make sure she's still not there.
"OH NO! HE HAS BEEN ABDUCTED! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WATERBOY!" she screams, now launching her starbolts at the clouds. (She finally realizes that clouds are the only physical objects of the air she can actually affect).
"Oh no! The clouds are MULTIPLYING AS I HIT THEM! THERE ARE SO MANY ENEMIES!" she screams, throwing bolt after bolt at various clouds in the sky.
(I hope there wasn't ANYTHING flying up there. Luckily for the JLA, the space-station was on the other side of the earth's orbit. Wait a minute, the space station is destroyed and they still don't know why. Oh well! - refer to Infinite Crisis#1)
"I NEED REINFORCEMENTS! ROBIN WILL HELP ME. Wait where is Robin? NO! They have abducted him as well! GIVE ME BACK MY BOYS!" 'I need the Titans. They will help me.' she thinks to herself.
As she soars back to the tower, every gust of wind that passes her by is hurled with a starbolt and an extra kick just in case.
Come on. You know you liked it. You too Starfire lovers. This is dedicated to Martian Manhunter of the Justice League in the comic world. If you read Infinite Crisis #1, the JLA base is completely destroyed for unknown reasons. Farewell Martain Manhunter, you lived well. Oh, I almost forgot, this is also dedicated to the senior citizens on the plane who died of a heart attack at the sight of the raining, mutilatedly distorted-faced, deep fried birds. Anyway, I decided that this was too hilarious to keep to myself, so what the heck? Publish it! Until the next installment, ponder on this question:
HOW STUPID CAN STARFIRE GET?