Part Twenty-two
It was Sunday evening, and the sun was slowly setting over the sea, making the horizon appear to be made of melted gold. Ric had borrowed his brother's boat that day, and they'd gone out to sea, and bathed naked under the blazing sun. They'd taken food and wine, kept cool in the boat's tiny refrigerator. They'd made love in the water, and on the deck of the neat little boat, their hunger for each other seeming insatiable. Connie's body was slowly turning a beautifully rich tanned colour, and she was feeling more alive than she had in so very long. Ric had briefly fallen asleep after they'd made love on the boat, and Connie had delighted in watching the relaxed features smile peacefully as he slept. All the cares in his world were temporarily banished, leaving him thoroughly content.
When they'd returned home in the early evening, Connie had gone to take a shower while Ric tied up the boat and made it secure for the night. She'd stood under the spray, washing away all the salt, and thinking that she couldn't possibly have found somewhere more idyllic to be. But she couldn't stay here, not forever, she knew that, and she couldn't ask Ric to return with her to England. Here was his natural habitat, just as England was hers. But that didn't mean she couldn't allow herself to love what she had with him when she was here. She knew he loved her, he'd said so only two nights ago, and she also knew that he meant it with all his heart and soul. She knew that she felt a great deal for Ric, but was it love? Did she really feel that all consuming depth of need for him as he clearly did for her? She didn't think so, at least not quite on the same level as he did, but she did feel something very similar. She felt a need to protect him, a need to care for him, and a need to be with him. The driving force of her lustful passion for him certainly matched his every step of the way, and she knew that if anything ever happened to him, it would carve her in two. Was this love? Was this what love was supposed to be? She hadn't ever loved Michael in that sense, so she wasn't sure. She had thought she loved Michael in the beginning, but had then realised that she had only been in love with him, which certainly hadn't provided the necessary foundations for a long and lasting relationship. But with Ric, she was forced to admit that it was different.
She was quiet when she got out of the shower and put some clothes on, her thoughts endlessly turning in her brain like the bottomless pit of a whirlpool. Whilst Ric took his own shower, Connie began putting away the things they'd taken on the boat with them, washing the glasses they'd used and putting the remains of the wine in the fridge. Thinking that some music might help her thoughts to settle, she put on a CD, immediately realising that the song that was playing was one she knew, and that it almost perfectly fitted how she really felt.
"There's a reason why, you can look up every night, and every star, in heaven is in its place. There's a reason why, the full moon pulls the tie, and the waves roll into a shore that always waits."
As Connie began to sing these words, it was as though all her feelings were coming to the fore, leaving the confined space in her head to give her the freedom to really express them. She was only vaguely aware of her voice as it formed these beautiful words, but they seemed to be saying everything she had been trying to say for the past few days.
"Baby you belong, baby you belong. Nothing's ever been so good to me, or ever felt so right to me, every single part of me believes: Baby you belong, baby you belong. There really is no mystery, I think anyone can see that baby you belong, with me."
Ric had heard the music begin as he stepped out of the shower, and when he heard Connie's voice unexpectedly join in with the singer's, he stood perfectly still and listened. The words were so descriptive and so enchanting, and for her so truly expressive, that he silently moved into the lounge to listen to her more clearly. He could see her moving about in the small kitchen area of his flat, putting away the detritis of their day on the boat. She looked so at peace with herself, so soft and thoroughly unguarded, that he knew he mustn't under any circumstance interrupt her. But as he listened to her sing the words of the chorus, telling him how she felt, telling him all the things she had been longing to say, it almost brought a hint of moisture to his eyes. So, Connie really did feel something other than simple lust for him, something that only the words of a song could explain for her.
"There's a voice inside, and I heard it promise me, when you came along, I'd know you by heart. Like a familiar song, every word is telling me, that the time has finally come, and now here you are, and I know for sure:
Baby you belong, baby you belong. Nothing's ever been so good to me, or ever felt so right to me, every single part of me believes: Baby you belong, baby you belong. There really is no mystery, I think anyone can see that baby you belong, with me."
Whether it was the smell of his aftershave, or the simple awareness of someone she knew she was growing to love, Connie suddenly became aware of his presence. Turning swiftly round, she saw him standing in the bathroom doorway, with a towel wrapped around his hips, and a thoroughly love struck expression on his face. Connie blushed slightly when she realised he'd been listening to her singing, but she didn't say a word. Instead of ruining the moment as any words might have done, she put down the glass she'd been drying, and walked over to him. Standing in front of him, she simply looked into his face, their eyes exchanging all the hitherto suppressed feelings that they'd both been afraid of revealing. As his arms went out, hers went up around his neck, and they held each other tight. No words needed to be said, because the song had said it all. They did belong together, at least for now, but would the different paths their lives were taking allow them to realise this epiphany. As the next song on the CD began, they started to dance, their limbs further expressing what their mouths could not.
"I love the way you stand in my way, you won't move till you get a kiss, and how you tell me that my name tastes so sweet upon your lips. I love the way you hold me with your eyes, hold me so tight that I can't move. It's like everything I've ever known is alive, and you're the simple truth."
These words were actually spoken rather than sung, but it made the feeling between them all the more intense. Their bodies moved so skillfully together, that it felt like a reenactment of their earlier lovemaking, their bodies moving together in perfect syncrony, never again to be parted by distance or time.
"I love how soft you touch my skin, like you're touching the wings of a butterfly. I wish we could just lock ourselves away in a room, where there was no such thing as time. I've never let anyone get this close, I've always been afraid, but you break down every wall and yet I feel so safe."
Connie knew this to be true. No person before Ric had managed so successfully to break down all her barriers, yet with him she didn't seem to mind. It had made her feel free of her walls, free of her fears and at one with herself. As they danced on and on, still not speaking so as not to ruin the romantic, sopporiphic mood, Connie simply prayed that this feeling between them would not die.