Disclaimer: I do not own HP or anything you may recognize from the HP world...
Chapter 12: The break down
"They know. How do they bloody know?" James asked upset.
It was right after DADA class and the four boys were in a hallway talking until potions started.
"They were probably letting the snakes spy on us and that's how they found out." Sirius said exited. After what had happened in the dueling club he seemed to have forgotten about what he had said to James before and know he wanted nothing more than to prank Harry to the seventh Hell.
But Remus hadn't forgotten. Yet he had chosen to believe James and Sirius that Harry was evil after they found out about his.... Ability. But now, he wasn't so sure. The headmaster didn't seem to think that Harry was evil anymore and he had to admit that Ginny had a point. Maybe, just maybe Harry wasn't evil.
"What do you think Moony? Should we obliviate them?"
"Who?" Remus asked confused
"Ginny, Ron, Draco, Harry and Hermione of course" James said annoyed that Remus hadn't been listening,
"No, I don't think so. I mean if they know they must have known for quite some time now, and still they haven't told anyone. Let's wait for a while and see."
"Fine, but we are not done discussing this" James said
"And now we are officially 10 minutes late for potions. Davidson is going to kill us. This is the third time this week" Moony said checking his watch
"Oh shit" Sirius said
"Lets get going then" James said already on the run
------------------------
Ten minuets late.... Again! Professor Davidson, the head Slytherin and the potions professor said rather irritated at the teens lateness.
"That will be 10 points... for each of you and next time I'll make them twenty. I was pairing everyone up before you interrupted, so James you go with Ron and Remus you go with Draco and Peter and Black you can go together. Now as I was...
"Oh, god dam it" James cursed as he took a seat next to Ron.
Ron glared at James but didn't say a word. He just stood up and went to pick up the ingredients
"You know Ginny, I'm not so sure that it was a good idea to let them know that we know" Ron whispered at Ginny
"Why not?" Ginny whispered back as she carefully picked up her ingredients
"Because they aren't called the marauders for nothing you know. They are even worse than the twins. You should know this after of hanging out with them for a month. And you have heard Snuffles stories" Ron said as he glanced at Sirius and Peter
"And so?" Ginny asked also looking at Sirius
"And they will either prank us to the seventh Hell or worse. James is scared Gin, he might to something he will later regret. And besides, I don't think that they understood the point of what you were saying"
"Yeah I know what you mean, but it just seemed like a good idea at the time. But I wouldn't worry too much though. Like you said, James is scared and he probably thinks that we will blackmail them or tell if they do something" Ginny whispered back as she glared at James
"But we would never tell on Remus" Ron said shocked
"You are so daft sometimes Ron. Of course we won't say anything, but they don't know that now do they? But I think that I should go to Alice and start this potion because, both James, Alice, Remus and the professor are looking at us fishy" With that said Ginny walked towards Alice, her potion partner
"Break a fog, Ron, break a fog" Ron told himself as he walked towards James.
Neither Ginny nor Ron however knew that the reason Remus was looking at them was because one of his werewolf senses was good hearing and he heard everything they said.
-----------------------------
Meanwhile in the Hospital Wing Harry wasn't having any better time than his friends were. He didn't even get to sleep in. Poppy had come and woke him up at 10 and forced him to eat breakfast and as soon as he was done she had sat next to him and started to talk.
"Usually in cases like this we get experts from St. Mungos, but I don't think that is a very good idea for you. So you will just have to live with me" Poppy had started to say.
But of course Harry didn't understand a thing she was saying.
"Huhh? What are you talking about Poppy? Is something wrong with me?" Harry asked confused" I can't go?"
"Go? Are you out of your mind? Harry, there might not be anything physically wrong with you but you tried to kill your self. You aren't leaving here until I'm convinced that you won't do it again and that the reason you did it isn't there anymore"
"But I'm not going to do it again. I promise Poppy" Harry had tried to reason but no avail. So he had to spend the next two hours talking to Poppy about his feelings and his life. Not that it was that easy because it took the first one and half hour to make Harry say a word.
"You know I am not sure if it is the Potter thing or the man thing that makes you so stubborn" Poppy finally said
Harry just grinned and said it was most likely both which only made Poppy angrier. Finally she just said that the longer Harry would take to open up the longer he would be there.
But unlike most times Harry just smiled and said it was better to spend his days in bed with a lady serving him than to go to classes and have to listen to everyone talk about his gift. This made Poppy so mad that she walked furiously to her office and slammed the door at the same time Ron, Ginny, Draco and Mione came in.
"What's up with her?" Draco asked a laughing Harry
"S-she just h-having a b-bad day" Harry finally managed to say between gasps. Just as he had finished those words Poppy came back.
"You can stay for lunch, I'll ask the house elf's to make something for you."
The teens just looked on her in surprise. She never let anyone stay for that long, there had to be a catch and they didn't have to wait long to find out what it was
"I only ask for one favour from you instead"
"All right, what is it ma'am?" Draco asked
"Just put some sense in that boy, or he'll will have to stay here for the rest of the year," Poppy said annoyed and then she stormed out
"Ok, Harry what did you do?" Ginny asked
"I didn't do anything," Harry said in defense
"Then why is she so... annoyed?" Ron asked
"Most likely because I didn't do anything" Harry said simply but then he saw the confused look and continued.
"Apparently I am thought to be suicidal and because of that I am not allowed to leave. Not until Poppy has made sure that I am not going to do it again and that the thing that caused me to want to jump isn't there anymore. Usually they have someone from St. Mungo come but Poppy figured that I couldn't tell him anything because he wouldn't know our secret so instead Poppy is treating me. And I am not exactly cooperating with her" Harry said sheepishly
"What do you mean that you are not cooperating with her?" Mione said icily
"I refused to talk to her," Harry said felling a bit nervous by the looks he was getting from his friends.
"HARRY JAMES P-
"HERMIONE! Are you bloody mental, some one could hear you! And what? You can't possibly be mad that I don't want to talk to her are you? I mean excuse me, but I do not feel comfortable by talking about my things. Specially not to some stranger."
"But Harry... Hermione started
"No, no buts Mione. I'm not going to tell her everything. It's already enough that she knows where I'm from and who my parents are. And that she knows that I am the-boy-who-lived. Look, I can go and face dark wizards or be a smart mouth to a teacher or fly a car to Hogwarts or talk to snakes but I am NOT going to talk about MY PRIVATE stuff, to someone that it doesn't concern. Ok, you get?" Harry said but felt rather bad about his outburst right after he said it. Hermione was close to tears.
"Look Harry. I know it's hard but face it, you NEED to talk to someone and you won't talk to us about it. We understand that. It's hard to talk about it all, and you are not ready to tell us. But you need to let it all out; if you keep it all in you will just explode in the end. Like last year, whenever someone said or did anything you didn't like you exploded. Just because you held it all in. And besides you need to learn how to trust again Harry. You know that Poppy is on the light side."
"Well it's easy for you to say isn't? How am I suppose to trust someone when everyone keep drilling it in my head that I am not suppose to trust anyone except it is for a good reason. And beside, what if I end up changing time? And the future us are all dead or something when we return?" Harry cried
"I am not going to pretend that it's easy but you have to move on Harry. It's going to take time but you can do it. I know you can"
"Why?"
"Why what?" Ginny asked confused
"Why do I even want to move on? What will happen when we go back? I'll just discover more pain and more suffering. Why do I have to go through this? Why did they have to die? Why does Voldemort have to exist? Why was I even born?" Harry yelled
"I'm not going to say that you aren't going to face more hurt later in life, but maybe it doesn't have to be that bad? No one will blame you if you settle down when you are finished with school. You have already done so much in this war and besides, no one even expects you to fight Voldemort. That is up to Dumbeldore. If you try to avoid it then you can live easier life. And when we go back, you will do whatever it is that Angel wants you to do and then you will stop fighting and leave that part of your life. And people die in wars it is not and it never will be your fault. They are just a fragment of the victims that will die in the war, and Harry you were born because you have a destiny to fulfil" Mione said to Harry
Harry looked down.
"Even if I would leave Dumbldore and the Order to deal with Voldermort, he will never leave me alone. And besides, you know what Angel said. I will never have a normal life and I don't want to fulfil my destiny. I wish it was someone else's destiny but not mine"
"Angel didn't say you would have to. She said that you could, but not that you had to. I'm sure that there will someone else that can also do it. Maybe that person won't have your powers but it could either form an army or it could have something else. Sometimes powers aren't it all. And Harry I know you and I know that you would never wish what you have had to go through on another person. You are just too noble"
"I am not noble" Harry mumbled
"Suit yourself Harry, but lunch is almost finished and we have got to go to classes. We will stop by at dinner with your homework ok? And please talk to her. Do it for us" Ginny pleaded before they all left Harry to think.
He knew they were trying to help and it probably would have hadn't he known the prophecy. He had no choice it had to be him, or darkness would rule forever. It would be the end of the world if he failed. And he would fail if all he was going to do was to sit here and sulk all day. He had to get his act together. There were big chances that Voldy would kill him, but he was going to die fighting then. Just like Sirius and his father. He was going to die for the cause like his mother and Cedric.
Harry was ripped out of his thoughts when Poppy sat in the chair next to him.
"So how were your friends? Did they have a nice day?" Poppy asked nicely
"Don't know, we didn't have the time to talk about that, although I must say that I doubt that" Harry said softly
"Why do you say that?" Poppy asked pleased that he was at least saying something
"Well, because everyone know that they are friends with me and they all know by now that I can talk to snakes. And no one likes parselmouths. No one trusts them. They all probably think that we are death eaters now" Harry said bitter
"What makes you so sure that they all think that?"
"You saw James yesterday. All you had to do was to look at him to see the hate he felt for me. And James and the others were my friends. Very good friends. I have made many friends in the time I have been here, but none as good as James, Sirius and Remus. But they all thought the same thing. They always do. I would have thought that they would have understood better than everyone. At least Remus"
As soon as Harry finished saying that the door burst open and in came the last people Harry wanted to see.
"What are you doing here?" Poppy asked
"I-I was supposed to give you this note" Sirius said his eyes not leaving Harry
Poppy eyed the student suspiciously before taking the note from him and reading it
"Detention, again. Hang on. Are you sure that this is real?" Poppy asked suddenly feeling very suspicious
"Emm, yeah I'm sure. Why?" Sirius asked nervous
"Well for one you, James and Remus are not usually allowed to sit in detention together after what happened in your first year and secondly, none of you are supposed to be allowed to the hospital wing unless it is serious or when you have apologized to Harry, which I doubt you are about to do by the look you are giving him. And besides, it doesn't happened often that a student brings the professor a note" Poppy scolded "So I ask again Mr. Black, are you sure that this was written by a professor?"
"Yes ma'am I'm sure. Professor Mcgonagall or any of the other professors couldn't have supervise us and Mr. Filch refuses to take us all together so only Peter and James can go with him and me and Moony are supposed to be here. Miss Mcgonagall said that she didn't want to interrupt you because you were having a meeting, and told us that we were supposed to give you this after classes but since we were in a free period we thought that we might as well do it now. We thought you wouldn't mind if we interrupted your meeting for a sec, but obviously your meeting is over so it doesn't really matter. And beside why would we fake a detention ma'am?" Sirius said, as he was bored, still looking at Harry, no rather still glaring at Harry.
"All right then. I will see you two here after dinner tonight and not a minute later. But just so you know if this is a joke I will be sure to find out" She said warningly
"Yes ma'am" The boys chorused
"Good"
Poppy turned around and sat back on her chair besides Harry's bed, but Harry was looking somewhere else. So she followed his gaze and saw that the marauders were still there.
"Is there something else you need? Because I am rather busy with a patient" Poppy said angry
"Well, you know how M- Remus here wants to become a healer when he grows up right?" James said lightly
"Yes, and what of it? I don't have time to allow interviews. I am busy" Poppy snapped
"Yeah, that's not it, we were just wondering if he could maybe observe for a while. And maybe even ask a few questions when you are done with what you are doing?" James asked hopeful
"No you can not." Poppy snapped
"But why not?" Peter whined like a baby
"Because I said that I was busy"
"But Jameson "James spat" Is your only patient and there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him.
"I am busy treating my patient and I do not know when I am done. So leave or I will have a nice talk to your head of house"
The four boys left disappointed muttering something that would not be suitable for children
"That was so unfair. Why is Jameson even there anyway? He was fine yesterday, and he seems fine now" Sirius said annoyed as soon as he had closed the door to the Hospital wing
"Yeah, just look, she isn't even doing anything expect sitting there talking to him" James said looking through the window on the door
"Didn't your mommy ever teach you that it's rude to spy on people?" Ron said walking up to the door with his mates
"What are you doing here White?" James asked
"I'm on my way to visit a friend not that that is any of your business" Ron spat
"Well you can't" Sirius said
"And why not? Are you going to stop us padfoot?" Ginny asked
Sirius looked at her wide eyed and stammered, "N-no Po-poppy just s-said tha-that she was b-busy"
"Well we were given permission to eat dinner with him, so move" Mione snapped
"No, not until you tell us what's wrong with him" James demanded
"You lost the right to know when you started to call him Jameson" Ginny said
"I bet he is in there because of some dark magic that went wrong, or perhaps Dumbeldore wasn't fooled and he is keeping him there so he doesn't harm the students. Jameson can't be sick. He was fine last night and there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him"
"And so he can't hurt himself unless you are there?" Draco asked
"No just seriously tell us, and then you can go through" Peter said
Hermione glared at the rat and said in an icy voice that would make Snape proud.
"He jumped off the bloody Astronomy Tower when he ran off and now he is being analysed because he is considered suicidal. No seriously, we. Are. Not. Gonna. Tell. Ya. Because. It. Is. NONE. OF. YOUR. BUISNESS. Now move or I'll hex you so bad that you will run to Snape crying for help"
Sirius looked at Hermione in horror and then said, come on let's go guys. And then he dragged the guys out.
When they were across the corner James hissed at Sirius
"What did you do that for? We could have let them tell us the truth"
"They did" Sirius simply said
"Huhh? What are you saying? They only said some crap about him trying to kill himself" James said in confusion
"It wasn't crap. She was telling the truth. I cast a truth spell on them. It wasn't very strong, and they would have been able to fight it off with a bit of struggling, but they didn't even flinch. Jameson tried to kill himself yesterday," Sirius said as he was pacing around
James seemed to pale a little but he soon recovered
"Why would he do that?" He then asked
"Well, like you said you don't know his past. Maybe something you or Professor Dumbeldore said yesterday reminded him of something he didn't want to remember" Remus said
James took a minute in thinking about the words but then he said,
"That must be why grandpa believes him. He feels sorry for him or something. Well I still don't believe him; I just say it's too bad that it didn't work. I'm off to dinner, see you" James said harshly as he walked away
"Why does he do this to himself?" Remus asked quietly
"He is hurt. He was closer to that Jameson kid than you know. He told me once when I found him awake in the middle of the night. He said that he feels this bond with him" Sirius said "But well there is nothing we can do at the moment so why don't we go to dinner, I would rather not have detention on a empty stomach"
And so the three children walked away.
And meanwhile in the hospital wing...
"So Harry how are things going? About your eating matters I mean?" Ron asked
Hermione rolled her eyes and said something that sounded like typical
"Well it's going better. I have more appetite anyway. Poppy says that I'll probably start eating normal food next month" Harry said smiling ignoring Mione
"Well that's fantastic Harry. So have you made any progress with Poppy?" Mione asked in a warning tone
"Well a little. We talked a little before, but James, Sirius, Remus and that rat interrupted us before we talked about anything serious" Harry said "But enough about me, how are you and have you talked to Angel?"
"We are fine, although the marauders know that we know their secret. But we will tell you about it later, because we have to go and see Angel because no we haven't talked to her and she hasn't gotten a clue on what has happened. Take care Harry we will visit soon," Hermione said as she dragged the other teens out
"Why are they off so soon?" Poppy asked when she came over to clean
"They had to talk to a some one" Harry said mysteriously
"Well, then I suppose we can continue our little chat. I most likely know more about you than everyone here expect your friends. But I still know very little about you. I know where you are from, what your name is and I know that you had something to do with you-know-who's defeat. But that is about it I believe. You don't have to tell me your whole life story yet. Why don't we just start by you telling me what it feels like to be with your father and his friends?"
"It hurts. It is so hard to be with them knowing what's going to happen but not being able to do anything about it. Sometimes I used to wish that I didn't have to be their friend, but now that they aren't it hurts me more than it ever hurt me knowing them."
"Yes, but just think that when you go back you can use this as a bribe to your father if you ever want something" Poppy said smiling a little "But don't tell anyone I said that"
"I won't be able to do that to my dad" Harry said sighing
"Why not? Just think of it as revenge" Poppy said
Harry looked at Poppy thinking if he could trust her. At the moment he really wanted someone to talk to and he supposed that she was as good as any, so he answered in the saddest voice Poppy had ever heard.
"But I don't want to revenge my father, and I don't want to leave with out us setting things right because I don't want to hate him, or dislike him in anyway"
"But Harry it's ok. You are allowed to be mad at your father even if you are a Potter" Poppy said
"It's not because I am a Potter. I didn't even know that the Potters were so respectable, Hell I didn't even know that the headmaster was my great grandpa. It's because I want to be able to love the memory of my father in peace," Harry almost sobbed
"You mean that J-Ja that he's...?" Poppy asked shocked
"Dead? Yes he's dead" Harry spat angry
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Harry. Do you want to talk about it?" Poppy asked nicely
Harry looked at the witch strangely
"What?" Poppy asked confused
"You're a muggle born?" Harry asked
Now it was Poppy's turn to look at Harry
"How on earth did you know that? Only some of the professors know," Poppy said in shock
"Well, I have never in all my time heard a pureblood say Oh my God. They usually say something like holy Merlin or in Merlin's name or something like that" Harry said
Poppy just nodded and the two sat in silence for a while until Poppy broke it,
"But how could you not have known that you had a great grandfather?"
Poppy was a little startled at the anger in Harry's eyes, but he somehow managed to speak in a calm voice,
"As far as I am concerned I have none. If my so called granddad couldn't even tell me that he was family then he is not."
"I don't know why he kept it from you Harry, and I'm sorry that you had to find out the way you did, but I'm sure that he had a good excuse and with some time you will probably work it out" Poppy reasoned.
"No. I am not working anything out with him. I have had enough of the lies and the manipulation and it all. He has already lied before and now he has done it again. And to me there is nothing he could say that would justify this. He knows what it means to me to have a family, but still he denied me the only one I had. He didn't even tell me that I had a godfather. He has controlled me far too long and when I come back he is going to be in so much trouble that he won't even know what hit him," Harry growled
"I don't know what has happened between the two of you but I'm sure that there is a good reason for the lies" Poppy tried to calm Harry
"Oh, I have a very strong hint about why he did it alright. But I don't trust him anymore. I don't want to talk about this anymore" Harry finally spat
"That's fine. You need to cool down a bit anyway, so what do you want to talk about?"
"I don't know" Harry shrugged
The door opened and in walked Remus and Sirius
"We are here to report for duty ma'am," Sirius said in a very solider like manner
Poppy eyed them funny. But finally she snapped.
"Fine, start changing the beds and then you can clean the toilets and then report to me. No magic you hear? And I don't want any funny business. I'm busy and I don't have the time to deal with that. Now get moving," She snapped.
"Sir, Yes, sir" the two boys said as they saluted her
Poppy just stood there and said something that sounded like boys, and then she turned to Harry again and put some silencing charms around them.
"So, how was Lily when James passed away? You two visit him regularly though right?" Poppy asked
Harry looked really uncomfortable but he still answered the question
"Er, no not really. I don't even know where my dad is buried. I've never been told"
"What? Lily never takes you there?" Poppy asked in shock
"Well she can't really" Harry said getting more and more uncomfortable
"What do you mean she can't? You must be devastated?" Poppy said
"Well, she's also passed away. So she couldn't really take me there."
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry Harry, I shouldn't have just talked about it like that" Poppy said devastated
"It's ok you couldn't have known" Harry said worried at Poppy's reaction. There were silent tears leaking from her eyes, and she was shaking too and holding her hand over her mouth.
"Are you ok?" Harry asked
"I-I'm f-f-fin-fine H-h-harry. I-I'm s-sor-sorry" Poppy sobbed
"It's ok Poppy. You knew them too. Hell you even knew them longer than me" Harry said in a low voice
"I did?" Poppy asked surprised
"Mmmm" Harry just said deep in thought
"H-harry?" Poppy asked worried
Harry's head shot up, startling Poppy
"Do you want to know? What happened I mean?" Harry asked shaking
Poppy nodded, "Only you are sure Harry"
Harry didn't answer he just stared. Finally he spoke up,
"It happened on Halloween when I was one. It was the same night as Voldemort downfall was. I wouldn't even remember it if it weren't for the Dementors. I-I hear them die every time they come near me. Anyway, I don't know what happened first, but when my father found out that Voldemort was there, he told my mom to take me and run away and that he would try to stall Voldemort. It didn't exactly work out as planned because Voldemort had killed my dad before my mom could leave. But Voldemort didn't want to kill her. He kept telling her that if she just gave him me that then he wouldn't kill her, but my mom said no. She wouldn't move. So Voldemort killed her too. T-then he stepped up to me and pointed that wand at me and said those deadly words. But the thing is, the curse didn't work. It rebounded to Voldy. I was left unharmed, only with that one scar. But Voldemort was gone. Some believed him dead, some believed him to be hiding to weak to go on. There are only few people who know the truth about what happened that night. The truth is that his body was destroyed but not his soul. So he fled not dead and yet not alive. In more pain that anyone could ever imagine, waiting, hoping that someone would come and find him and help him to rebuild his powers. But no one came." Harry said
It took Poppy few minutes to calm down before she could ask Harry.
"How do you know all that Harry?"
"I spent my first eleven years in not knowing, but then I lived it all." Harry just said
"But what happened to you? Please tell me that Alice or Frank took you in or that they made some cure for Remus and that he could take you instead of Peter or Sirius. They are just not the kind of men who could raise a child"
"Well, It is a very long story but I suppose that since I started it I could finish it. That is if you want?"
Poppy just nodded eager.
"All right, but I am going to tell you what happened in the time I found them out. Well after Voldemort was gone, Dumbeldore made Hagrid come and get me, and then he placed me in the care of my relatives. My mother's sister Petunia Dursley and her husband and son. But you see there was one problem. They all hated magic. Really hated magic and so they hated me. But I was raised there, with out having a clue that there was another world out there, a world that I belonged in. I had been told that I had received my scar in a car crash when my mom and dad died. Anyway, I kept mostly to my self and I didn't have many friends. I was supposed to go to Stonewell, but then I got my letter. I remember it like yesterday. I was so surprised when I saw that I had gotten a letter. No one ever send me letters. And this one was even addressed to my cupboard. But my uncle Vernon took the letter away. But for the next few days I kept getting more and more letters. Finally my uncle took us away. First we stayed at some hotel. But the next night we slept in a broken shed. It was then I found out that I was a wizard and that I was famous. I didn't even know who Voldemort was until then. But anyway, the next day Hagrid took me to Diagon Alley and gave me my first birthday present, my owl, Hedwig. Anyway my uncle of course refused to pay for anything, but he didn't know that I had a vault full with galleons and sickles. And neither did I for that matter. But anyway, then I started my first year and...
And so Harry told Poppy everything he could think of about his life. He told her everything. Well almost everything. The only thing he didn't say was what Angel had told him, the prophecy and that his uncle had used to beat the crap out of him. When he was finished Poppy was in tears. But the timing couldn't have been better because as soon as Harry was done with his story Sirius and Remus came up to the crying witch telling her that they were done.
"Are you ok ma'am?" Remus asked concerned
of co
Poppy said something but of course the boy's didn't hear her because of the silencing charm she had put up earlier.
"He didn't do anything to you ma'am did he?" Sirius said as he was eyeing Harry
Finally Poppy seemed to realise that the boys didn't hear her because of the charm and she took it off.
"Don't worry about it boys I'm fine. And no, Harry didn't do anything Mr. Black. You should really consider reviewing your opinion on him. But you have done a good job, and it is way past curfew so you are dismissed. And straight to bed you hear me?"
"Wow I wonder what was up with her?" Sirius asked Remus as soon as they stepped out of the Hospital wing
"I don't know, but she seemed to be crying over something Harry was saying" Remus said
"Who was crying?" A new voice said behind them.
The two boys turned around startled but they didn't see anyone.
"What rudeness is this? I asked a question," The voice said again. But this time the other two boys recognized the voice.
"James? What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to on detention with Filch?" Remus said
"Well I was, but it was over two hours ago and Peter is asleep and I had nothing to do so I thought I might come and check what was keeping you so long," James said as he took the invisible cloak off himself
"Oh yeah, well we were a bit longer because we were always trying to listen to what Jameson and Poppy were talking about but they had silencing charms around them so..." Sirius said
"Ohh, ok. But who was crying?" James asked
"Poppy" The other two boys said on the same time
"What? This I have got to see. Let's go" James said and the three boys went under the cloak and entered the hospital wing again.
--------------------------
"So Harry are you ok? Is there something you want to talk about? I know that I am going to have a good talk to Dumbledore later. But I don't understand why he left you there...
"I know" Harry said bitter "But Poppy you can't talk to him. As much as I hate to say this but he didn't do any of this. Or well he hasn't done them yet"
"Alright I suppose you are right Harry. I won't talk to him. I think we have talked enough tonight. I am going to get some dreamless sleep potion" Poppy said and walked away
Harry barley noticed her walk away; he was so deep in thought. In fact he was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the door open
"Alright dear. Now drink this up," Poppy said as she returned
"Do I have too?"
"Yes you do now drink up"
" Alright but Poppy?" Harry asked
"Yes Harry?"
"Don't you think that I can leave to morrow? I have already told you everything there is too tell. There is nothing more to discuss"
"You have told me your life story Harry, but we haven't talked about how you feel and your feelings and all. Maybe you can go the day after tomorrow, but I am not promising anything" Poppy said thinking
"Fine" Harry sighed, as he was about to drink his potion but soon stopped when Poppy asked him something
"Harry, there is something I've been wondering"
"Yes?"
"How did you survive that night? I mean the night that they died?" Poppy asked in a low voice
"Well most people think it is because I am so great, but the fact is that I had nothing to do with it. The people are worshiping the wrong person. It was my mother. She sacrificed herself for me and created the strongest shield that you can make. A shield made of love, something Voldemort doesn't understand and something he will never understand"
"But Harry it couldn't have been your mother" Poppy said
"What do you mean?" Harry asked
"Well we learn about those shields when you become a healer. It most definitely is the strongest shield around, although the ministry has banned it for several years now, so your mom broke the law by using it. It would have been strong enough to withstand most of you-know-who's own spells but not that one" Poppy said deep in thought
"What do you mean Poppy? Of course it worked or else I would have died. Tell me all you know about it" Harry demanded
"Well, a person has to sacrifice her life on her on free will and out of love. That is why it is banned, because a person dies every time it is used. But anyway, because a person would give her life away because of the love she held for that someone, her spirit somehow makes a shield with the love she felt for that person. The shield can block almost everything. In some cases, even if it is extremely rare, the shield can stop the imperious curse. But it has never been able to stop the pain curse. And it can definitely not stop the killing curse. It isn't possible. There is a book that covers the reason. There is a complex theory on the matter. I don't know how it works because I never looked into it, but if you want you can look into it. I can give you pass for the book. There is only one that exists in Europe and it is the restricted section of the library. I'll get it for you if you want to read it tomorrow"
"But- but it can't be, he-he told me that, that it was all because of my mom. Why would he lie about that?" Harry said desperately
"I don't know who you are talking about dear, but you must realize that there are thousands if not millions of mothers out there that sacrifice them self's for their little ones, but it never works. Not for the killing curse" Poppy said kindly
"No- n-no, no, no, no, no" Harry kept saying as he threw his arms around his legs and started to move back and forwards.
"Harry, what's wrong? You mom still loved you" Poppy said
"No, it can't be" Harry said
"What can't be Harry?" Poppy said getting worried
"It can't be true. There has to be a mistake. It has to be. Why would he lie about that?"
"Why would who lie about what?" Poppy asked confused
"DUMBELDORE! WHY DID HE LIE? HE SAID THAT IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF MY MOM" Harry yelled
"Harry calm down. It doesn't really matter in the end because you are still here Harry. I'm sure your mom still loved you just because the shield didn't work" Poppy tried to calm Harry down
"DOESN'T MATTER? THEN WHY AM I BLOODY ALIVE? I always thought it had been her ever since I found out what really happened the day she died. But it wasn't and HE knew that. He must have known. But he still lied. He always lies. Nothing but lies my whole life. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT I WAS A BLOODY WIZARD UNTIL I WAS ELEVEN. Why? Because of HIM. So they could use me as a slave and a punching bag. There is nothing but lies. Always lies." Harry kept rambling on about how it were always lies
And Poppy didn't know what to do
"Harry please calm down, please. We can go and find the book in the library tomorrow ok? Maybe there was a mistake. Maybe it did work after all," Poppy said but not believing a word she was saying
"A MISTAKE? No hell it wasn't. It was a lie. It always is. You know that even that bloody snake face and that stupid rat of his both know. They know that my life is a lie. MY OWN BLOODY ENEMIES KNOW MORE ABOUT ME THAN I! Its not fair" Harry said almost in tears.
"Harry baby, it is ok to cry" Poppy said as she sat on his bed and hold him to let Harry cry
"No it's not. He'll beat me if I cry. Boys don't cry, and freaks like me a-aren't allowed to say how we feel because no one cares about how freaks feel" Harry sobbed
"Who said that Harry?" Poppy asked kindly
But Harry just shook his head
"Alright Harry you don't have to tell me who said that. When was the last time you cried?" Poppy said in a soothing voice
"I-I was three" Harry said
Poppy seemed momentarily shocked but then asked
"And did he do anything else than say that to you?"
"He kicked me and locked me in my cupboard for a week" Harry said trying not to break down
"Does he hit you a lot Harry?" Poppy asked
"Only when I deserve it," Harry said
"And when is that?" Poppy asked kindly
"Always. Freaks like me always deserve everything they get. They are not allowed to feel pain," Harry sobbed
"Sssshhhsss Harry, it's going to be ok. Just let it all out. No one is going to blame you. It is ok to cry"
And so Harry cried himself to sleep that night in Poppy's arms. And in the other corner three boys stood wide eyed looking at the two.
A voice was heard from the office startling the four wake people in there.
"POPPY" the voice that belonged to the headmaster himself yelled
Harry turned around, and Poppy carefully got out of the bed trying not to disturb him and walked with out a noise to her office. She looked once at Harry before closing the door. Or so she thought. The boys could hear the voices talking in her office
"Professor, would you mind not to go and yell and try to wake up my patients next time you call" Poppy scolded
"I'm sorry Poppy but you weren't here, and beside isn't Harry your only patient?"
"Yes but he still needs to sleep like normal people"
"Didn't he take a dreamless sleep potion?" the headmaster said confused
"Well he was going to but then things happened and he fell asleep before he could drink it and I didn't want to wake him up. But anyway professor, I assume that you are here for a different reason then to discuss Harry's sleeping arrangements.
"Well, yes the staff meeting went on a bit longer than expected and I have just finished convincing them that Harry isn't a mass murderer. Which took some time might I add. I should really get some new staff... Dumbeldore started but was gut off by a
"Hem, hem" From Poppy
"Oh yes, silly me. Anyway we were wondering if you couldn't come and give your report now?"
"I suppose I can. I'll be over there in a minute"
"Dumbeldores office" the boys heard Poppy yell and then there was silence.
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I wont answer the reviewers until the next chapter because I am posting them together :-D But anyway I'm sorry for the delay but I was out of town and couldn't get too a computer....