A/N: Those of you reading, forgive my lateness. I blame advertising. Mostly because everyone hates advertising and therefore will not argue with me.
Kd7sov: Thank you for your flattering compliments, and yes, there is such a mortifying number of 'Sues out there, that it is becoming most difficult not to understand their basic functions. As for whether or not readers appreciate my work, I really cannot say. It is most probable that they are simply too lazy to review, and as I have more than once been guilty of the same crime, I really cannot complain...ok maybe I can but it would be rather hypocritical of me.
Disclaimer: I own nothing relevant enough to be legally assaulted for. Leave me to mock the horrors in peace.
Chapter 2: Sickening, isn't it?
So, Legolas (poor fellow) and the hated Mary-Sue: Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname arrived unnaturally quickly at Rivendell; which Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname could not be bothered to remember the actual name of and therefore referred to as 'that place with Elrond.' Frankly I'm impressed she remembered Elrond's name...actually I don't believe 'impressed' is the right word as that may promote a positive message. 'Shocked' is probably more appropriate.
At any rate, there they were, a monstrous abomination and an elf unfortunate enough to fall under her abhorrent spell, walkingright oninto the last homely house. Eru save the poor world. To make a long story into a story of reasonable length, the whole house immediately fell under the spell of Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname, and was made to think she was 'pretty'. I hesitate to say 'attractive' as it is beyond me how anyone so obviously freakish in her perfection and evil intentions could be considered 'attractive' at all, spell or no.
So it came to pass that Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname corrupted all beings residing in that place. Except Frodo. Who by some odd twist of fate was protected by the almost-equal evil of the Ring even as said Ring ate away at his mind. Why? Because I felt so dreadfully for the poor humanoids being afflicted by the awful creature that is shamefully enough of my creation, that I thought I should grant them a glimmer of hope; and it seemed only fitting thatsaid glimmer of hope for this atrocity, would be the same is the hope that would rescue them from the plaguingthreat of Sauron and all that.
The Council of Elrond occurred at a time far sooner than, canonly, it should have. Those despicable Mary-Sue powers at work again no doubt. Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname was, for some reason, (Come now, we must all know by now that there is no explanation other than said Sue's evil powers.) allowed to attend despite the fact that she was female, had mysteriously turned up only the day before, and had the mental capacity of your common rock; meaning to bear no insult to rocks by comparing them to such a thing as Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname. As it so happened, the council continued almost canonly...at least the actual basis of it, Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname kept interrupting and stealing lines, and overall causing incredibly disruption withmerely her presence.
Needless to say however, no one argued or scolded, or better yet destroyed the beast, as they were all under thrall due to her gross misuse of dark powers. Neither, did they argue, or scold, or destroy, or at least stop, her from joining the Fellowship when her opportunity arose. Frodo, thoughtotally petrified and disgusted by Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname, but being the overly-decent and well-meaning hobbit he is, did not decline her 'generous' offer.
And so they went to pack and prepare for the trip. Normally time would become distorted due to the manipulation of Sue powers, but Sue's are generally obessessive about possessions. Meaning that she would take the necessary time to pack an astounding amount of items, which she would, of course, force others to carry for her. Legolas, and we really must feel sorry for poor Legolas as he is the one Sues seem to go after most often, being an overly-decent sort of fellow in his own right, decided to take it upon himself to help Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname pack her bags. Sparklina Jasmina Maria Theodora Honoria Pinkina Angelina Susanna Prettiname decide this was the moment in which to spring her ah...less than noble...ah... plans. The ensuing shall we say spectacle? is far to horrific for me to have any desire to elaborate on...or type...or in fact think of/imagine at all.
Tbc...
A/N: Second chapter is finally finished. I consider my obligation to taunt the lamer powers fulfilled for the moment. Comment upon the screwed-up-ed-ness of the story. Should you feel the need to flame, go right ahead, than stick around for the next chapter, where my reply shall incinerate you with the force of my righteous fury...just kidding. I probably will leave a scalding retort in the next chapter, but I honestly won't be bothered very much.