Elder Blues Chapter 2: Requiem for a Lightweight, a legacy of kain fanfic

-----

Chapter Two: Requiem for a Lightweight

-----

The day Raziel gracefully landed in the Spectral Realm, haunted the dark deity's present. On that faithful afternoon a few inconsistencies rose in relation to the grand plan. The Elder God was slightly more miffed with Raziel's lack of concern in relation to certain key anatomical sections of his person. This greatly disturbed the omniscient squid, who was used to his condemned sporting a degree of rational sanity. Instead, the creature raved on about unimportant facts such as where this place was, who are you and what of his wretched unlife. Not to mention the other disconcerting fact, that the wraith failed to realize two Slaugah had run off with his jaw.

But when this information came to light, a series of bitter revelations took the form of a rather uninspired hissy fit. The Elder God resented certain implications, that he was somehow involved with the physicalities of the walking blue corpses physique. For what need did he have of that certain 'part'? Perhaps a maladjusted conversation piece? Then whomever would dare to grace his domain other than the dead? Well, there was Mortanius, however he was only interested in spending his brief moments with Hash'ak'gik and there was that whole Kain incident. No, Raziel's arrogance was so elated, assuming the deity had absolutely nothing better to occupy his time.

Despite all this, the fact remained that the wraith had spent the past millenia, dwindling his days away in the abyss. Watching his latest fashion statement burst into a pile of scrap, whilst embracing the full force of the pits destructive powers.

For you see, the former vampire had always been a diva. Pushing the boundaries of fashion and pissing off Kain, whilst almost splitting the clans over side cloak wear. The Rahabim's were growing restless, a full blown rebellion would of ensued.

Thankfully, good old Kain, came up with a marvelous plan which remarkably suited to everyones best interests. He had even proclaimed the punishment a major success for the fallen starlet. Raziel on the other hand, failed to appreciate the full benefits of being tossed aside like a used towelette.

For the rest of eternity, the drama queen, was to be none other than the Elder Gods headache. In many ways the former gypsy Wheel of Fortune, would of proffered, a certain Time Streamer thrown into the Lake of the Dead. At least the fool would have been a tad more agreeable. However the fates, still miffed over his avoidance of their latest tea party, decided Raziel was a far superior choice. That and Moebius refused to have his head reattached in a Vorador-esque fashion or to become Kain's bitch/ plaything for all eternity. Not to mention the fun involved with becoming one with a certain sword. Then again a certain ew factor, was associated in watching the old mans vampire self wearing those scantily clad outfits and Melchiah already held the bald position. The Elder God tried to mention a few of the bonuses, being dead he wouldn't remember a thing and there is no need to kill himself in the future, thanks to Kain. Sadly Moebius would have none of that and decided to retain his position of serpent like head, of machinations.

Meanwhile Raziel was casually exploring his new surroundings.

Raziel: Am I to honestly believe my nakedness has nothing to do with your sick perversions, creature!

The Elder God sighed, this was going to take a while. Any of the other brothers would have been perfect, hell, even Dumah. The dunce may be trapped in a smog of ignorance, at least in his Sarafan existence, hair foreplay didn't lead to his demise.

Raziel's reign as a Sarafan had been fleeting, superficial and lacking in masculine elements. The saddest reality of all this was in the first borns inability to realize this awkward fact. Then again, anyone who spent a thousand years around Kain without realizing the extent of the mans paranoia, deserved such a fate. The lieutenant should of realized, a person intent on destroying all living things would not take kindly to a fine set of newly tailored wings. Especially when said wings were counter productive to the crushing of all life.

The Rahabims would be too busy washing Raziel's minions legions of new fashionable wings, on top of the clans other loads of accessories and everyone else's laundry. Honestly, how was the war effort to function without its first line of cannon fodder? Then again there was always the Melchiahims, yet Kain was not one regarded to truly think these things through. With the absence of Raziel's clan, he was still one force out.

Elder God: You shall become my Angel of Death, Reaver of Souls and House Keeper.

Raziel: I mean, according to Kain, in the legends, even The Guardian of Death wore clothing. Seeing as I'm also providing a public service, one would believe a fine set of trousers could be part of the deal! Oh the humanity, is there somebody I can report this to? Or am I to suffer such a decadent existence forever?

At this point, the deity was starting to wonder if defying those perilous stars would be a bad idea. Maybe he could switch Raziel's Sarafan body with that of Moebius, hehe Kain would acquire quite the shock.

Elder God: Raziel your purpose transcends the need for mortal garments.

Raziel: For crying out loud! Is there some kind of policy that encourages your employees to waltz around in their birthday suits?

To illustrate his point, Raziel pointed towards two Slaugah who were quite content on chasing a certain damned warrior. Somehow the wraith failed to notice the spiritual set of walking amour.

Elder God: Your role is a vital function and certain anatomical devices have escaped that diminished physique. With nothing to hide, enjoy the freedoms associated with it.

Raziel: The Necromancer Mortanius was granted the pleasure of concealing his shame!

Elder God: There is no shame on your person to speak of. Technically Mortanius was alive, somehow being naked would mock the attributes associated with being the Guardian of Death. The other mortals would have had a field day.

Raziel: Isn't my resurrection a by product of your desire to use me amongst the 'mortals'?

For a moment, the God took a brief while to ponder this statement. Deep down he had truly hoped Raziel wouldn't have noticed the slip between realms. Being a giant squid after all only allowed a select number of luxuries. The 'man' was really a cheap bastard, if he clothed an employee the rest would demand the same.

Elder God: Well my little agent, technically your are not alive or mortal. So therefore, no clothing!

Raziel: Even as an undead vampire I wore pants!

Elder God: Maybe I would have taken you slightly more seriously if you weren't practically butt naked then. Having reviewed your past it's safe to say, you truly will be in your comfort zone. Be thankful for that towel!

With one swift movement, the wraith relented, remembering Voradors mansion still had a few hidden treasures in the physical realm. Too bad they wouldn't follow into the spectral, if only those stylish leather pants had survived. How would Kain react to his slightly naked visage, upon their first faithful meeting? Raziel cringed and decided that once out of this chamber, he would throw a few select ensembles into the Abyss. Hopefully, something reasonably fashionable would survive.

----

The Elder God thought back to this unsettling day, recalling the wraiths reaction to the few items that managed to survive the Abyss. Those things gathered from Voradors mansion, were hardly designed to withstand the swirling currents of the dreaded lake. Only Umah's training bra and an abundant number of crotch wear survived. Somehow, Raziel realized that maybe being naked was slightly more dignified than the classic super hero cliché. As a creature of some degree of darkness, there were certain lines he would never cross.

For the moment, quite the chronological curiosity of time had passed. Now with Raziel trampling around the globe, defying the Wheel of Fate, the deity was rather bored. At this point, he decided maybe starting a few questionable rumors regarding Raziel's new found Janos Audron obsession, would quite the entertainable machination.

-----

Fin