The Journey of Ash Ketchup
A/N: Hello. I am Jackie. And I don't own pokémon. My name is Jackie and I do not own pokémon. This is a disclaimer, by the way. So there. HA!
PREVIOUSLY ON THE JOURNEY OF ASH KETCHUP…
Ash changes his surname to ketchup.
Tracey finds out that he sucks eggs.
Pikachu becomes an alchoholic.
Narrator: Our story begins in the world of pokémon. As always. Anyway, Ash and his friends Brock and Misty are travelling to… well, no specific place. They're going all over the place and I FORGOT MY LINES. Ah, let's see what Ash is up to now.
We find Ash, Misty and Brock in a forest. Any old forest, really, it doesn't matter which one. They don't know which one either.
Ash: TRALALALALALA I AM THE BEST POKÉMON TRAINER TRALALALALA I AM ALSO STUPID!
Pikachu: (Smacks forehead) PIKA-TOO! (Starts drinking beer)
Ash: So Brock, when are we going to get to Puddle Town?
Brock: Hmm according to this map we go left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right… (5 minutes later) Left, right, left, right, left, right, left… and then one more right.
Misty, who had enough, snatched the map off Brock.
Misty: Gimmee that! (Stares at the map) Hey… You're leading us into nowhere!
Ash: YEAH BROCK WHY DO YOU KEEP GETTING US LOST, YOU CAN'T READ MAPS CAN YA!
Brock: (Puts hands on hips and talks to Ash + Misty like a mum would) Well it's not my fault I can't open my eyes is it!
Misty: Don't say it Ash…
Ash: DON'T WORRY, I WILL! We're lost!
Everyone faints except for Ash. Ash suddenly wets himself with excitement.
Misty: Ash? What is it?
Togepi: Fried eggs? Fried eggs?
Everyone stares at Togepi, and the know-it-all pokedex responds.
PokeDex: I know everything because I was created by professor Oak. Togepi has changed his name to fried eggs. This is because blah blah blah blah blah.
Ash: COOL! Now, where was I… Ah, yes! (Wets himself again)
Misty: Why are you so excited?
Ash: Over there! A pokémon!
Ash points to an ordinary rock on the ground. He takes out his pokedex.
PokeDex: No pokémon detected. Please use this pokedex when there's actually a pokémon you want to know about, you stupid trainer.
Ash pouts at this.
Ash: WELL I'M GOING TO CATCH WHATEVER POKÉMON IT IS ANYWAY!
The annoying battle music plays as Ash stares into the "eyes" of the rock.
Ash: Pikachu, give it your thunderbolt!
Pikachu: Pika… PIKATOO!
The electric attack zaps the rock, but it just sits there. Very still.
Ash: HM, I MUST HAVE FORGOT THAT ELECTRIC ATTACKS DON'T EFFECT ROCK TYPE POKÉMON.
Brock: (Puts geek voice on) But, this is not appropriete to the situation!
Ash: (Dribbles)
Misty: Oh, Ash, if you're gonna be stupid and try to capture a rock why don't you use a grass-type, since they can-
Ash: YOU'RE RIGHT MISTY! Bulbasaur, I choose you!
Bulbasaur: Insert my name here! Insert my name here!
Pikachu: (Grabs a whisky) Go Bulbasaur! You can do it!
Everyone stares at Pikachu.
Pikachu: I can talk? (Music plays) I can… talk? (Music plays again) I can finally actually talk? (Music plays once more) Isn't it greeaaattt, that I can say my name, isn't it grannnnddd, that you can understand! I don't squawk! I don't squeak! I don't even-
Ash: OH I LOVE CHARLOTTE'S WEB I HAVE THE WILBERT TRADING CARD!
Misty goes stupid-eyed.
Misty: Really! Wanna trade for my Charlotte doll!
Ash: NA I ALREADY GOT LOADS OF 'UM!
Brock: Oooh, how about that wonderful Wilbert trading card for my wonderful french teacher?
Ash, being stupid, puts on a thinking face, which looks VERY WEIRD.
Ash: HUM, it's a deal!
So Ash gives Brock the Wilbert trading card whilst Brock gives Ash his French teacher.
French Teacher: Ich bin ein berlinna!
Ash: I like ketchup too! THAT'S MY SURNAME!
Misty: Um, Ash, that's a German teacher!
Ash: … HEY, BROCK, I WANNA SWAP BACK, YOU SAID THIS WAS A FRENCH TEACHER!
Brock: BYE LOSERS! THE WILBERT TRADING CARD IS ALL MINE!
Brock puts on a maniac laugh and runs off deep into the forest.
Ash: OH NO, WE'RE GONNA BE SO LOST WITHOUT BROCK!
Misty: Ash haven't you learned anything…?
Ash: (Dribbles) Hey, wait… (Turns around) THE ROCK GOT AWAY! AFTER IT!
Pikachu and Ash run off into the forest, searching all over for the rock.
Misty: Stupid Ash… Wait… (Sniffs the air) DO I SMELL A BARBIE DOLL!
Misty runs off, screaming like a girl, leaving Bulbasaur and Togepi alone. With a frying pan. At this point Bulbasaur gets an atrocious idea, makes a fire out of wood, grabs the frying pan and Togepi and… Well, this scene is inappropriete for the young age.
Narrator: So what will happen to the three superheros of Townsville? Find out in Part (hiccup) 2!
TO BE CONTINUED
P.S. You stupid Narrator, you got the wrong show! YOU'RE FIRED!
Narrator: (Girly scream) (Runs off into the forest)
Insert ending to the story here!