AN: I began this before the season finale and it's taken me this long to finish it. I think it's pretty weak compared to my other two stories. Yue seems out of character to me. But she's only been in two episodes so it's hard to get in her head. I apologize for its lameness. I think it has something to do with the fact I wrote it in present tense. So here ya go…
My Birthday Was Yesterday
I chuckle, "Sorry."
"That's okay," he yells back as he climbs out of the water.
I face forward and relax as the waterbender propels the boat along. Sokka is so sweet, I think to myself. His awkwardness is adorable. "…an activity…" I giggle. And I'm going to see him tonight!
The boat pulls up in front of the Ice Palace's steps. I stand and an attendant takes my hand to support me as I step onto the ice floor. I begin to ascend the steps of the palace. My father seeks an audience with me and I must go to him.
I enter my father's chambers. He is talking with a boy I estimate to be around my age. He looks familiar. The two turn around as my presence is announced. My father walks to me and we embrace. "You sent for me, father?" I ask.
"Yes," he answers simply. "Daughter, I have wonderful news for you. This young man," he gestures to the boy, "has asked for my permission to marry you."
My heart skips a beat. Surely I did not hear correctly. Father wouldn't betroth me so soon after my fifteenth year of life had come to a close. I look up at father in confusion. "My lord?"
"And I have consented," my father answers. My fear confirmed, I look over at my fiancé. He isn't bad looking at all with his mussed brown hair, blue eyes, wide mouth, angular nose, sharp jaw, and (from what I can see with all the fur he is wearing) toned body. I turn back to father as he addresses me again. "Han will make an excellent husband for you. You will be happy with him." Father looks at me with pride in his eyes. This match means so much to him. I lower my eyes to show I submit to his wishes. He smiles. "I'll leave you two to become acquainted for a few minutes," he says before exiting the room.
I stare after my father, longing to for him to come back in and say this announcement was just an unfair joke. "I'm over here, Princess Yue." Han's voice jerks me from my thoughts and I turn my head to look at him.
I'd seen him around the city before. He was always surrounded by the other boys his own age and seemed to enjoy getting attention. On one of the occasions I'd seen him, he'd been flexing his muscles for the pretty girl he was with. "Boys will be boys," I had shrugged. Now that he is to be my husband, I get to know what he is really like. I'd heard he is a bit arrogant but as I'd never actually met him, I didn't jump to conclusions drawn from gossip.
"That's better," he nods, seeing he has my attention, "As your father told you, my name is Han. I'm a skilled warrior, I'm fully educated, and rather handsome. If your father wants you married, I'm the best man for the job."
I stare in shock as he plows on about himself. Surely my father has made a mistake! How can he expect me to marry someone so conceited? Father would want me to be loved and appreciated; to be happy and taken care of. Why would he consent to someone so self-absorbed?
Han starts to walk toward me. "Have you nothing to say?" he asks as he stops a few inches from me. What does he want me to say? I haven't really been listening. What person would? I look him up and down. His right hand is balled into a fist. I'm certain I know what it's holding. My eyes go back to his face. He is looking expectantly down at me.
"Han," I reply, "you seem a confident and capable person to wed." He smiles. "But I feel that the only person to gain from this arrangement, is you. I have no mutual affection for you, but I will do my duty." He smile disappears. "I'm just trying to be honest," I justify, "If you still wish to proceed, knowing I don't and most likely never will love you," my voice starts to break as I blink back tears, "then give me what I know is your hand."
Han stares at me for a moment. I look down, no longer able to hold back the tears. I feel a hand cup my chin, forcing me to look up at those steely blue eyes. "You will grow to love me, Princess Yue," he says simply. A fresh sob escapes my lips. He unclenches his fist and my eyes move to his palm. Resting there is a betrothal necklace.
He releases my chin and moves behind me. I long to run from the room. He puts his arms in front of my face. I see the necklace as he strings it between his two hands. The stone is rather large but skillfully carved. He fastens the ribbon around my neck. His hands are rough and clammy.
He draws back and I inwardly sigh with relief. The closeness had been difficult. He walks back around to my front. "You belong to me, Yue. Like it or not." He then brushes past me and leaves the room.
I stand unmoved. "Belong" to him? Does he consider me a possession to be owned and controlled? My hand travels to my throat. I run my fingers over the stone and ribbon repeatedly. How does such a simple item mean such a commitment? I swallow and the band tightens for an instant. "Belong." Like a pet belongs to its master. Yes. This necklace was a collar to bind me to Han and so others would know he was my master.
A fresh wave of tears comes forth with these bitter thoughts. I sink to the floor and sob into my parka. Why does duty come before what I want? There are so many things I want to do, but now I must settle down in marriage. Why doesn't the Moon Spirit help its child? Why can't Han be nicer? Why can't he be like Sokka?
My head jerks up. Sokka! I'm supposed to meet him tonight. Oh, how can I tell him what has happened? I stand and wipe away my tears. I can't stay in Father's chambers; I need to get to my room to think this through. I turn and exit the room. A guard in the corridor gives me lingering a glance. He probably heard me crying. I know my nose is red.
I make it to my quarters. I walk over to the pile of furs that is my bed and snuggle into the fur from several artic rabbits. I'm done with tears for now. There are no lessons for me today so I have until nightfall to figure out what to tell Sokka.
I descend the Ice Palace steps and make my way toward the bridge. I have thought all day about how I can tell Sokka I am engaged, but nothing has come to me. I'll have to tell him when I can. I even thought about not showing up for him, but he deserves an explanation. He needs to understand we can't be together anymore.
I arrive at the bridge. Sokka isn't here yet. I step to the side and lean on the bridge wall, sighing. I stare up at the moon, praying the Moon Spirit. "Guide me," I plead silently. I lose myself in the moon's celestial glow. I stretch out my soul to reach Tui's and willthe greatspirit to understand.
"Hi, Princess Yue." OH! Sokka is standing next to me. I hadn't heard him coming. He looks so happy. This morning, I thought seeing him tonight would make me happy. Instead, I feel sad and unworthy. How can I tell him about Han? I can't face Sokka so I stare at the canal below.
"I made you something," he says and his hand appears in front of my face. "I carved it myself."
I stare at the tiny piece of wood in his mitten trying to distinguish what it is supposed to be. He obviously worked hard on it and I don't want to offend him. "It's a bear," I say hoping that's what he meant it to be.
"Actually, it's supposed to be a fish," he corrects me as he turns the carving on its side. "See it has a fin…"
"Oh." My heart sinks. I love the present, but accepting it would be inappropriate. I have to tell him now. It's not fair to Sokka to let him think we still have a chance together. And my feelings toward him may not always be restrained. I like him too much.
I struggle to find the right words. I look at him. His face is so sincere and hopeful. I just can't tell him there's someone else. Even if it isn't my choice, the news would still break his heart. My necklace feels like it's choking me as I fight the lump in my throat.
"I'm sorry," I say softly to him before turning away. I'm sorry I got your hopes up. I'm sorry I can't be with you. I'm sorry duty comes before happiness with me. I'm sorry I can't change who I am. I'm sorry I like you. All the things I can't say echo inside my head. I feel I need to say more before I leave. For leave I must.
"I made a mistake," I confess. I don't have the strength to elaborate for him. I hold back a sob before I blurt out my regret for misleading him, "I shouldn't have asked you to come here." I can't bring myself to stay another second. I run from the bridge.
Tears fill my eyes as I race through the streets to the Ice Palace. Sokka is probably really confused. I feel guilty about leaving him with no explanation, but I'm too confused myself. I tear past each ice hut. Inside are my people, happy and warm. Not me. I'm upset and cold. I love my people. If other women of my tribe have had children from arranged marriages, I can end up happy like they seem to be, can't I? But it's not the same as having a choice, I add bitterly. The wind bites my face and makes me cry more tears.
I can't run another step. I stop myself forcefully by hugging an ice column before sinking to the street. Kneeling on the ground, I look up at the moon once more, my vision blurred with tears. How can father put this on my shoulders? I may be of age to marry but I don't feel ready at all! Will my duty as Princess always come before what I want? Sadly, yes, I admit to myself. I am Princess Yue of the Northern Water tribe. I am the Moon Spirit's saved child. I am bound by duty. I am engaged to be married and my birthday was yesterday.
