I'm Only Happy When it Rains

Author: Dimitri Aidan

Series: Sequel to 'Its kind of Strange Like That'

Rating: Overall…light R/M

Pairings: Seamus/Ron, Dean/Harry, Harry/Ron, Percy/Oliver, Hermione/Viktor, Ginny/Neville, Tonks/Charlie, Bill/Remus, Fred/Katie, and George/Angelina.

Warnings: Slash, Het, Violence, Homophobia, depression, (thoughts of) suicide, darkness…and such.

Summery: Seamus and Ron have been dating for two months and things are going well. But families, everyone's numerous issues, Ron's inability to hurt his best friend, and life are all in the way.

Music: Title comes from the Garbage song, which I was listening to when this idea smacked me. The title for this chapter comes from the Goo Goo Dolls song, of the same name.

Notes: The first one was a little fluffy…this one not so much. It happens…a lot. Harry is damn screwed up, Dean's a little iffy, and…I think I was tapping the part of my brain that spawned 'Atlantis'. That is the only way to explain the under current of mental dysfunction going on here.

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Chapter One

We are the Normal

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Ron could feel eyes on him and tried to ignore them, as well as whispering about the Golden Trio being officially broken up. Things had finally blown up today, after simmering for the better part of the year. There had been a little glaring from Hermione and much yelling between him and Harry and finally the splitting of groups. Kind of weird, he'd been working with Harry in most of their classes since their first year and now, in their seventh year, they had split in all aspects. They didn't even sit together anymore and if anyone noticed or talking it wasn't getting back to Ron.

Draco was working with Hermione who was glowering irritably while stirring her potion. Dean was working with Harry now as opposed to Seamus and Ron was now working with the blond instead. Truth be told he had been far from heartbroken about that new arrangement. He liked working with Seamus; the few times they'd worked together had been fun. And working with Harry hadn't been anything but…semi-productive in months.

The colder things had got between them the more their grades had suffered. In hindsight it made a lot of sense, but at the time Ron had just been pissed.

Today had been the taming potion, guaranteed to tame any wild animal if brewed correctly. Ron wasn't sure if they had screwed up or what, but their potion had…well it smelled awful, like Fang after he'd been playing in the rain combined with that stew Hagrid had cooked last week.

It had brought tears to Ron's eyes, something he was sure the potion wasn't supposed to do. But a few tables back Dean and Harry were having the same problem, as were Parvati and Lavender, so he'd assumed that was just one of the side effects.

So he'd continued stirring the foul mixture, as it needed to be moved around constantly least it burn…or maybe Snape just wanted to kill them all and have it look like an accident. He'd suggested that to Seamus who'd laughed and nodded.

'Sounds like something he would do doesn't it?'

He'd continued with the potion for a few minutes, letting his mind wander to the quickly disintegrating friendship between him and Harry. And, by default, Hermione. Not necessarily just because he wasn't on good terms with Harry, that had happened in their fourth year after all, but because he was hanging around with Seamus more and more, Seamus who'd done nothing but seek to make her miserable all year long. He'd tried to explain that it wasn't personal, Seamus was making everyone miserable after all, but she hadn't wanted to listen to it.

She didn't like Seamus, to put it bluntly, and didn't see why Ron had to be friends with him of all people after all of the rotten things he said and the way he was constantly moping about and making rude comments. Ron didn't have the heart to explain that what she had said was a large part of what attracted him to Seamus. There was no talk of happiness in this supposed post-war utopia, no forced smiles or fake attitudes. Seamus just was and…Ron liked that.

Liked it a lot. Not in the warm fuzzies kind of way, but in the breath of fresh air kind of way.

So he'd shrugged, told her to have it her way, and left to go and finish up his charms homework for the day. And make out with Seamus…mostly make out with Seamus. Ron was not ashamed to say he could really get used to the more…psychical aspects of the couple thing.

But Harry was a totally different story. What was going on between them was more of mutual thing. He couldn't stand Harry's one track mind and better-then-thou attitude and Harry couldn't stand his depression, or understand it rather, and he looked like he was jealous Ron was hanging with Seamus instead of sulking about the lose of his best friend.

Ron didn't care though. As far as he was concerned he'd lost his best friend a long time ago. They weren't the same people they were when they were younger, Harry didn't need his unconditional friendship and loyalty and he didn't need Harry there to make it seem like someone cared about him and noticed him. They didn't need each other like they'd used to.

They'd grown up. And sometimes growing up meant growing apart and finding new things and people and…people. It had just taken him a really long time to figure it out and apparently it was taking Harry a good bit longer than that.

A hand had brushed his own and Seamus whispered in his ear, pulling him from his darker thoughts and effectively putting his brain somewhere else. "You okay?"

He turned his head some, fighting off a blush. Blue-green eyes sparkled at him mischievously as Seamus purposefully leaned against him in a more then friendly way to see the potion.

Ron was sure he was bright red at this point and not just because Seamus was playing a very dangerous and obvious game, but rather the amount of contact between them. Seamus was in a position where it looked like he was checking the potion, but someone closer might notice the arm around Ron's waist and the way Seamus was smiling against his neck. Ron knew he should tell Seamus to stop and sit back down, but there was also the other reason for his blushing.

The fact Seamus was damn close. Beyond close enough to touch, close enough to feel even through their clothes and robes, close enough to turn his head and then they'd be kissing, close enough to feel Seamus' breathe against his neck and close enough to make his body react in embarrassing ways.

Two months since they'd kissed on the ledge and it seemed like they couldn't get enough of each other. Touches in the hallway, really quick kisses when they were sure they'd be alone somewhere for all of thirty seconds, full on make-out sessions at night in Seamus' bed.

And he'd also become aware of the fact that the more time he spent with Seamus, and the longer they…touched and kissed, the more excited he got. And the more excited he got the more he wanted more from him but, and he blamed his brothers for this, he had no idea how to go about suggesting such a thing. Being the youngest boy had meant he was subject to 'sordid tales' long before he was at the stage of even understanding the mechanics of sex and he had to admit he'd been successfully turned off the concept until he was fifteen.

Though the fact he didn't like girls may have contributed to that slightly.

He was eighteen, he was well aware of the fact that something like that was normal, but there was still something thoroughly embarrassing about sneaking out of your boyfriend's bed at five in the morning because you didn't want anyone to see you or your stiffy. And it was that much worse when Seamus woke up before him.

Ron frowned a little bit. Like this morning, Seamus had been giggling, out and out giggling, at him. Either the blond had more control or…well he had better control over himself. Ron couldn't really think of anything better then that.

"You're blushing." Seamus teased, pretending to be checking on the potion. Truth be told he had a feeling that was the last thing on Seamus' mind…then again, the say potions was first on Seamus' mind would be a rare day indeed. "What're you thinking about?"

"You." Ron smiled wanly. "Laughing at me this morning. How much of a useless bastard you are."

"You like it." Seamus smiled quickly then nipped at his neck. Ron licked his bottom lip then, glancing around quickly, turned his head so their lips brushed lightly. Seamus looked surprised, Ron was a usually a little more careful about things between them then he was.

Kissing in Potions class wasn't something he'd expected of Ron. He smirked, content in the knowledge that he was rubbing off on Ron in all the right ways.

"Sit down, I've got this." Seamus gave Ron a playful shove. Ron rolled his eyes and shuffled over to the chair Seamus had left.

"Ron, you okay?" Neville and Blaise were at the table in front of them with Blaise but turned to look at him when he sat. "You're all red."

Seamus snorted then put on his most innocent face when Ron glared at him. "I'm fine Neville. Just a little hot from standing over that potion."

'Sure.' Seamus winked at him. Ron sighed and pillowed his head on his arms, more then prepared to take a nap. Snape couldn't very well yell at him for it, since the potion had to be stirred in a certain way and there was nothing else left beyond that. Lavender tapped him on the shoulder and he looked back at her, finding no reason to hide his annoyance.

"Harry wants to talk to you." She said before walking back to her table, which was behind his and Seamus'. He glanced at Seamus who was pointedly not looking at him, probably to keep from laughing outright, then got up to see what Harry wanted.

He'd known Harry was a little manic, but he didn't think he'd would have switched moods so fast and be ready to make up already. It'd barely been an hour since they split up.

"So?"

Harry looked at him then frowned. "What's going on Ron?"

"Lots of things." He replied, leaning against the table. "You'll have to clarify."

Harry blinked then looked at his hands. "So you hate me now? Really?"

Ron stared at him for a moment then closed his eyes. Why did Harry always have to be like that, damn those eyes and Harry's low self-esteem. You couldn't look into those eyes and say something mean. Harry usually looked on the verge of snapping or crying anyway, and you couldn't do something that would harm Harry's self-image even more.

All right, he knew what this was. Harry played games and made it seem like he thought he was better, because he was so use to thinking of himself as everyone else saw him. He had no…real sense of self and his entire life seemed to teeter on a little scale. Here were people that hated him, here were people that loved him, if the scale was upset in a negative way Harry would lose it.

Maybe. It might have all been another one of his games. Ron just didn't know about him anymore, couldn't even wrap his brain around Harry's behavior sometimes. One minute he was pretending everything was fine, then he blew up at him, and the next he was all puppy eyes and apologies. It was a vicious cycle that Ron still couldn't break out of.

Wasn't even sure he really wanted to. He didn't want to be the one to break Harry. He'd survived losing his parents, losing Sirius, nearly dying every year, being shunned and whispered about constantly, and defeating Voldemort. Ron didn't think he could live with himself if he was that thing that finally sent Harry's scale crashing to pieces.

He wasn't as bad as he used to be at least. Dean helped. Dean…was good for Harry.

How was he supposed to stay mad this way? He wanted Harry to get over this, to get that things were different and that…they couldn't keep doing this. He wanted what he'd said to Seamus about Harry moving on to be the truth.

At the very least he wanted Harry to be a little less dysfunctional and to feel a little less guilty about the way things were going. Harry made it damn hard to not feel bad.

"You can't just let me be mad for a little while can you?" He opened his eyes and shook his head. "Of course I don't hate you. Things are just…different. We're different and…need to do different things. You've got your no-sense of humor having boyfriend and I'm…hanging out with Seamus I guess. We can't always be around each other.

Dean made a face at him. "Don't insult me like I'm not here."

"Dean, you have no sense of humor…and have the most monotonous voice in the world and I think that if I tried to put up with you like Harry does I'd die of pure boredom."

"That's all I ask." Dean said, voice the same calmly contained drone. Ron was about to retort when Lavender shrieked and, he imagined, shattering the eardrums of the entire class.

Girls had such high and annoying voices sometimes.

"Get back!" Snape's voice, dark and loud, commanded and even though he knew it wasn't directed at him Ron jerked back a step before turning to see what the commotion was. His eyes immediately zeroed in on his table and Seamus.

Seamus was lying very still on the ground, skin a nasty gray color, strands of hair splayed around him like golden thread. Their potion was overturned and sliding over the surface of their desk, flame already doused by the liquid. Snape was already flapping over, looking the part of an overgrown bat, and Dean had abandoned his and Harry's potion in favor of running over to Seamus.

And Ron just blinked, completely frozen.

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TBC

Review please; they are the food to my muses and inspiration.