Why Ashes Can't Keep a Boyfriend

"What to wear..." Roy mumbled as he stepped out of the shower, steam still filling the bathroom and distorting his reflection in the mirror as he ran his fingers nervously through his hair.

"Hm...I wonder what he'll be wearing." She said out loud as she looked in the mirror and, after a moment silence, she grabbed a marker and went over to a wall in her room and started doodling on the wall.

"This? no...to informal...no...too formal... no...no...no..." Roy muttered as he dug through his closet in a fit of what Maes referred to as "Whyroycan'tkeepagirlfriend Disorder".

"So in the distance the wolf cries and then the wind sighs and then all is asleep except me and you, Kay-hoo Kay-hoo. the mocking bird sings, Kay-hoo, Kay-hoo." Ashes sang as she grabbed a different marker and started coloring in her doodle.

His fingers tapping restlessly against the cafe's table, Roy sat with two cups in front of him. He was wearing his white collared shirt and his uniform pants, the sleeves of the rest of his uniform tied around his waste.

"Hey, have you seen my date Gordon?" he heard Ashes ask the old man behind the door, who laughed and said, "Who? Jack?"

"Nah, Jack's outside, I mean another boyfriend."

"Oh, well that fine gentleman in that booth is waiting for a date." The old man said as he pointed at Roy, and her eyes widened as she walked over looking at him in shock.

Roy's hair was combed back, making him look completely different, and as he stood abruptly as if at attention and stuttered as he said, "G-Good Evening Ms., I brought you-"

But he was cut off by her hand moving to his unnaturally tidy hair and with one fast movement messing up the tamed hair, that fell back to its appropriate place. "Did you just get out of an audience with the Fuher or something?"

"I..uhh...I...brought you..umm..." He face tinged red, another symptom of his "Whyroycan'tkeepagirlfriend Disorder".

"Flowers-chocolate flowers. Too birds with one stone, huh?" She grinning as she sat down across from him.

"Birds? What?" He asked, face getting redder.

"Nothing, relax will you? I'm, not gonna pull a gun."

That was when Roy's eyes wandered to what she was wearing. It was a flaming red-orange tank top and baggy pants. On her upper arm was a thick gold bangle with something engraved in it.

"Oh...Ok..."

"By the way, sorry I'm late, I couldn't get out the door without my boyfriend following and then I had to convince him to wait outside."

"ok...Wait Boyfriend!" He asked, his expression wide eyed as by some miracle his eyes figured out that her bracelet said JWH+AEM.

"Wait I-"

"So what am I? a one night stand!" his voice got a little louder as over-reacting, another sign of "Whyroycan'tkeepagirlfriend Disorder", reared its ugly head.

"Roy. Listen ok, jeeze it's a joke. My dog acts like he's my boyfriend and everyone calls him that since his name is Jack."

"Then what's your bracelet about!"

"It stands for Jack Wolf Hybrid+my name. I swear ok I haven't had anyone ask me out unless it was just for sex in atleast a year."

"That's a lie."

Her eyes widened as he smiled with a half-laugh, "I asked you out."

"So, I don't know if its for sex or not."

"It's not. Trust me I haven't gone out with atleast 400 different women just for sex?"

"So your a playa'?"

Roy's face turned red as she laughed, before noticing the cup in front of her and, readying herself for the answer asked, "So, what do I like?"

"I have no idea, but rumor say all women like chocolate so I got you hot chocolate."

She sighed in relief and took a drink. Even if he had gotten it right by a fluke, he hadn't ordered her coffee.

She HATED coffee, and now she knew everything about Flame that Crimson had said was probably a lie.

"So your a state alchemist too aren't you?"

"I'm Phoenix...I control fire."

"How about you show me?"

"I control it...I can't make it,.." She blushed, eyes looking sheepishly up at him.

It was almost an hour later when they walked outside, Roy going to walk her home, and he was cut off mid sentence by a bark and two large paws pinning him down.

Meanwhile Crimson lay in his bed, one of his grins plastered on his face as he touched himself while thinking of Ashes.

"Get off him Jack!" She said as she pulled Roy up and glared at the very large wolf-dog that looked at Roy as if he was a hated enemy.

Roy snaked his hand into Ashes' as they made their way towards her small town house, only the get it nipped by Jack.

His dog-eyes looking at Roy as if to say, 'Hands off, she's mine pal."

Just then they reached her front door and she opened it without a word of goodbye. She stood in the doorway, her back to Roy for a second before she turned and said, "Have you ever seen the movie called Runaway Bible?"

"No."

"Then come on in, I'll make popcorn." She said, grabbing his arm and pulling him in.

Later they sat on her bed, (That was in couch mode since in was a futon), a bowl of popcorn at their feet, laughing at the movie.. Jack sitting between them, watching Roy as if to say, "Hands off".

It was hardly a wonder why Ashes couldn't keep a boyfriend.

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