Disclaimer: Square Enix owns FFX2 and its characters. The plot is mine, mine, mine!
Special thanks to Isabelle and Diego for helping me with this fic…
It will be told in Rikku's point of view… He is her brother, after all.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
How did I get into this mess again?
The whole thing was Pop's fault, actually. Pops, being tired of getting old and having no grandchildren, commissioned the Gullwings to do the impossible. We (meaning me, Yuna and Paine) had to give Brother a makeover, then set him up on a date. Add the fact that Brother was excited, annoying and hyper, this wasn't going to be easy.
Yup, this was going to be harder than Sin and Vegnagun combined with a million evil clones with a bunch of Dark Aeons.
So anyway, Pops came strolling over to Besaid one day, and asked us to do the impossible. And maybe I was drunk on fruit juice, or maybe the hopeful look in his eyes was getting to me, I agreed.
After telling my fellow Gullwings, I braced myself for their reactions. Yuna went wild over the idea of a makeover, while Paine just rolled her eyes, and gave me an I'm-gonna-kill-you-when-this-is-over look. Actually, it was more of a glare.
So now the three of us (plus Brother) were in the cabin of the Celsius, deciding what we were going to do. After careful deliberation, Yuna left to go shopping for hair products, magazines, and all the like, Paine mysteriously disappeared (I hate her), therefore leaving me with Brother.
"Rikku," he screamed. "What kind of look should I go for?" I winced at the shrill annoyingness his voice had. Grr, Pops is gonna be sooooooo dead when I'm done with this. Looking back at Brother, I saw that he got to picking his finger nails. Bored, I pulled out my newest Garment Grid (hehe, not even Yunie and Paine had seen this), and arranged the dress spheres.
"Ooh, Rikku!" Brother sounded genuinely interested. This was bad. "Is that a new Garment Grid for me?"
Before I even had the chance to hide it from his Evil Grasp of Doom, the aforementioned Evil Grasp of Doom had reached it. Holding the Grid, Brother then proceeded to experiment with the dress spheres.
First, his Evil Hand touched my Songstress Dress Sphere. I had to pinch both my cheeks to try keep from bursting out in loud laughter, but it was to no avail.
"Mmmphh!" My muffled laughter caused Brother to glare at me in a very evil-looking way. It kinda reminded me of Paine. So anyways, Brother was in tight miniskirt, and he wore the same top and accessories. At that fateful moment, Barkeep entered with Darling.
"OOOHHH!" said Barkeep with even gogglier eyes. (How he managed that, I have no idea). "Yoos ish a very shpretty shcreature!"
Darling looked ready to kill, and Brother had just gone really pale with horror.
This is definitely disturbing, and as luck had it, Yuna and Paine chose that exact moment to return.
I swear. You would have heard their laughter all the way in Zanarkand, and we were over Besaid, for Spira's sake.
Brother scowled at the scene, then changed back to his normal outfit. Barkeep looked purely horrified that the "very shpretty shcreature" was Brother. I guess even Hypellos knew how mentally disturbing that was.
Thud!
Barkeep had fainted.
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Several minutes later, Barkeep had regained consciousness, and YRP was now able to continue the makeover session. Honestly, it was like we were those gay guys from that show.
"Okay! First things first. We need to get rid of your tattoos, piercings, and makeup," Yuna said. She really was into this whole thing. Maybe she should have her own TV show, you know, like "Makeovers from Lady Yuna".
I giggled at this thought, and Paine flashed me a strange look. I shut my mouth instantly and tried to focus on what Yuna was saying.
"… I've already gone shopping for your new clothes, and I also got some real shampoo."
"But I use good shampoo!" complained Brother. Yeah, like motor oil was shampoo.
Yuna reached into one of her many shopping bags and pulled out a bottle of 'Pure honey Shampoo'.
"You should use this shampoo. It's 5 pure honey." said Yuna. I found this odd. Why the heck did the label say 'Pure Honey' when it had only 5 of it all in all?
"No way in Spira am I going to use BEE VOMIT for MY hair!" screamed Brother stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. He honestly looked like a little boy.
Paine snorted and I merely raised my eyebrow. Yuna just looked…. confused.
"Bee vomit? But this is honey shampoo," said Yuna falteringly. Sighing, I faced Brother and gave him a Big Evil Glare of … um… Evil. Yeah, that was it. It didn't work though, because Brother just glared back at me. That big meanie.
Paine must've been getting really tired of the whole scenario because she drew her sword and gave Brother a Look. Brother instantly shut up.
"You will cooperate with this 'mission', because I am sick and tired of wasting my time on this," growled Paine. Brother whimpered and nodded in agreement.
"Good," smiled Paine in a really creepy vampire-ish way. I shuddered to think what would happen to me if I were on the receiving end of that smile.
Yuna was now back to her normal self again and she began walking over to the many paper shopping bags she brought. She gave a handful to me, another handful to Paine and kept the rest for herself.
"Okay! Time to get started!" yelled Yuna enthusiastically.
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After several Paine-ful hours (heehee, I made a pun) we stepped back from Brother to see the results. I swear, my jaw must have broken in two when it hit the floor. Yuna looked happy, and even Paine looked satisfied. We did a great job.
Brother was now transformed into a gentelmanly Al Bhed. The only thing you'd recognize about his old self was his Mohawk, and we even managed to improve that.
We dressed him in a black suit and black dress shoes. We managed to remove his piercings and tattoos (thanks to a little chemical produced by Shinra). I never knew Yuna had this much style finesse inside of her. Guess you never now what to expect from a High Summoner, huh.
"You look great Brother!" squealed Yuna. "Yeah, now all we have to worry about is your blind date," I chimed in.
"A blind date!" said Brother disbelievingly. "But with who?"
"I already took care of that minor detail," sniffed Paine. "I called Nhadala earlier, and she agreed to a blind date tonight, in Luca." Ah, so that's why she disappeared earlier.
"Nhadala?" Brother's eyes shined with adoration at her very name. I guess he managed to overcome his… uh… crush on Yuna. Poor Nhadala.
"Rikku!" Brother's shrill voice cut through my thoughts. "You must help me on this date." Gosh, he was being overly dramatic again. He was practically kissing my feet.
"Aw, alright." I answered. Hey, don't look so shocked at my easy acceptance of his request. He was family after all. (Plus Pops would kill me if I screwed this up.)
"I have the perfect gadgets," I said. I rushed over to my cabinet and took out a few hand-dandy items. Paine looked at me suspiciously. I smiled back cheerfully at her. Hehe, she'll never learn about me spying on her little 'meetings' with Baralai.
"Are those the ones you used to spy on me and Baralai?"
Oh, I was soooooooooo BUSTED.
"Hehe," I laughed uneasily, glancing back at Paine. She didn't look happy. I pinned a flower on Brother, and put a small earring in his left ear.
"Um, Rikku, what exactly are those?" asked Yuna. I rubbed my hands together, getting in the 'Cool Gadget Girl' mode.
"The flower has a micro commsphere, so we can see and hear what's going on, and the earring is a miniature speaker so Brother can hear what I'll be saying to him," I explained cheerfully. I held up a necklace. "I'll be wearing this necklace. It's a mike, so I can tell Brother what to do and say".
Brother was smiling in a really grateful way. I could sense his love for Nhadala a million miles away.
"All right! Time to get started!" I yelled. I high-fived Yuna and Paine. Time to start Mission Impossible!
Thanks for reading!
Next chapter:
We'll find out how Brother's date with Nhadala goes….
Review as always…
Kwitchie.