A/N I wanted to thank all you for your reviews, they are appreciated more than you will ever know. One thing I learned while writing this chapter, I am not very good at writing smut. So while you will see more of it in the coming chapters, it won't be very drawn out.
CHAPTER NINE
Sins of the FatherElliot Stabler was miserable. He was standing outside of a potential witness' apartment, listening to Fin try to coax the man into coming down to the station and viewing a line-up. To say that the man was uncooperative was putting it lightly.
He never would have imagined that silence from Olivia would hurt so much. Oh, it wasn't that she wouldn't talk to him. Quite the contrary, she worked with him through the cases with her usual determination and intellect. It was the shutting out of all things personal that was driving him crazy. She refused to speak to him about anything that didn't involve one of their cases. There was no joking, no teasing, no flirting, no nothing. And it had been just like that, for the past two weeks, with no end to the freeze in sight.
"Look, this man is going to rape another woman," Fin said, voice full of frustration. "You really want that on your conscience?"
Elliot leaned against the doorjamb, fighting to stay focused. "Look, that guy is a member of the Paganos," the young man said, shaking his head violently. "I ain't gonna have much of a conscience if the bastard has his friends roll up here and kill me. We're done."
They were met with the slamming of a door. Fin muttered an expletive and stalked out, Elliot trailing behind. Out in the car, Elliot slid into the passenger seat, mind still preoccupied. It wasn't just her coldness that was bothering him. It was the other man. He had no idea who he was, he was just certain that there was someone else. The signs were all there. She was wearing make-up almost every day, there were times when she would just start smiling as if her thoughts were so entertaining. The guy even called her every so often while she was on shift. Olivia would check her caller id, smile broadly, then scoot off to a private place to take the call. Somehow, the presence of this other man was making Elliot feel even worse. He didn't want to think about her with another man. Another man besides him.
"You know, I appreciate that you and Benson are having some issues, but I really need you to show up."
Elliot turned to face Fin, a blank look on his face. "What are you talking about? Benson and I aren't having problems."
Fin cocked his eyebrows. "Yeah ok, if that's the way you want to spin it," he said. "But you haven't put in any effort for the past couple of weeks. It's time to put up Stabler."
Elliot sat back in his seat and stared out the window as they sped back to the precinct. He had no response because Fin was right. He had to get it together. And the only way to do that was to make things right with Olivia. He just didn't know how.
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Olivia giggled into the phone. "Alright, alright, I'll be on time. I'll see you after I get off tomorrow. Kisses." She hung up the cordless phone and padded into her kitchen to make some tea. The past few weeks with Alex had been amazing. The woman was so smart and so sexy and she had Olivia hooked. The sex was a joyous journey, an eye-opening experience that Olivia was enjoying very much. She was finding new ways to explore her sexuality and it was so very fulfilling, and Alex was an excellent teacher.
While she knew the woman was happy with her, the relationship wasn't entirely perfect. Alex harbored an intense paranoia about being "outed" and Olivia just could not comprehend it. It wasn't so much that Olivia wanted her to announce their relationship per se, she just thought it would be in Alex's best interest to come out of the closet.
"You just don't understand," Alex had said, one afternoon while they were out for a quick lunch. "My career would be ruined."
Olivia smiled wryly while she stabbed at her cobb salad. "Alex, I'm not going to pretend to understand what you have gone through in your life, but don't you think your being a little melodramatic?"
"No," she answered crossly. She hadn't touched her food. "Women like me don't survive in the DA's office. It's a conservative bunch and very political. Just look what happened to Southerlyn."
Olivia paused. "Who?"
"Serena Southerlyn," Alex pressed. "An ADA in major felonies. Or ex I should say. Branch fired her six months ago after finding out she was a lesbian."
Olivia furrowed her brow. "Alex! There is no way he could get away with that, it's illegal."
Alex smiled humorously. "You see on paper it was because of her work performance, some bullshit about her lacking objectivity with defendants in her cases. But we all know it was her lifestyle that worried Branch. Once a Southerner, always a Southerner with him. Besides, how would you feel if the whole 16th knew you and I were sleeping together?"
Olivia set down her fork. "It really doesn't matter Alex," she said honestly. "Everyone already thinks policewomen are automatically gay. I am more than confident that the people I work with wouldn't really give a shit one way or the other. And if they did, I could care less myself. I'm more concerned about you Alex. It's hard to be someone you're not, and it's not fair to you to do so."
Despite her efforts, Olivia had been unsuccessful in convincing Alex that day. It hurt her that her friend was so ashamed of who she was that she wouldn't stand up for herself, for her rights.
Olivia sighed and brought her tea into the bedroom. Besides that, she was enjoying her time with Alex. Life would be pleasant if it weren't for Elliot. She missed him dearly. After all this time, she was still hurt by the things he had said to her, but she wished things were like they used to be. One kiss, and everything went to shit, she thought bitterly. She had done her best to shut him out, but she couldn't help thinking she was making a mistake. He was her best friend in the world and she could only hold out hope that that in itself was enough to get them through this difficult period.
She grabbed the remote and switched on the tv. A knock on the door startled her and she spilled hot tea all over her jeans.
"Gotdamn it…who is it?" she asked, pissed. She was answered with more knocking. Groaning, she walked over to the door and flung it open.
Standing there with his hand on the doorjamb was Elliot Stabler, a deeply intense set to his features. He noticed the empty cup and the dark, wet stains on her jeans.
"Did I scare you?"
Olivia rolled her eyes. "Just at the top of the class aren't you?" she said snidely. But she couldn't completely hide her surprise. "What are you doing her Elliot?"
Elliot put his good hand in his pocket. "I…can we talk for a second? Please Olivia…"
She bit her lip. Silently, she stepped aside and let him in. She went into the kitchen to grab a towel for the mess. She came out and saw Elliot standing there, looking lost.
"What can I help you with," she asked neutrally, wiping up the spill.
"I need you," he said quietly.
She stopped cold. "What?" she asked dumbly.
Elliot grabbed her by one of her shoulders until she was facing him. "I need you," he said in a stronger voice. "It's a sin to have you, but I don't think I care. I tried so hard to deny my feelings for you, but the more I do, the worse it gets. I can't stand this, this thing we've been doing for the past couple of weeks. I miss you."
Olivia felt faint. It was everything she had wanted him to say, but it still didn't help the overall predicament. He was married. And she was dabbling in lesbianism. "I miss you too," she said painfully. "But we can't keep going around in circles like this. I can't keep putting myself out there for you to hurt."
"I know, I know," he said dropping his hand. "I don't know what to do. All I know is that I want you, and I don't think I'll be happy until I get you."
Olivia shifted her feet, trying to figure out his motives. "Is that…is that all it would take? Are you asking me to sleep with you so you can move on?"
Elliot smiled. "I think it's a little more than that," he said. "I think I'm asking you to indulge me."
It occurred to Olivia then that Elliot wasn't fully aware that she felt just as strongly about him as he did her. He just wanted her to "help him out" in a way, almost take pity on him. She struggled internally. Should she do it? She wanted him so bad, maybe more than he wanted her. To take advantage of his vulnerability was wrong and she knew it. Besides, she had Alex to think about now.
Olivia sighed. She was tired of being "Saint Olivia." She was tired of always doing the right thing. She wanted to be the taker, the one who did what she wanted for her own happiness. She had spent the better part of her life giving herself to others, now it was her time.
She pushed him on the couch and straddled him. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and got lost. Elliot ran his fingers through her hair and tightened them, making Olivia gasp. She could feel him pressing against her, the hardness exciting her. She climbed off and fell to her knees, unzipping him slowly.
"Wait, Olivia. You…you don't have to do that."
Of the many things Olivia was confident about, it was her ability to please a man sexually. She ignored his protests and put her hands around his manhood. His moans guided her as she worked on him. Suddenly, he quickly stood up and pulled Olivia with him, crashing his mouth into hers. They fell onto the couch, ripping away every piece of clothing that threatened to keep them apart. Elliot pulled away and looked deep into her eyes before thrusting into her in one shot. Olivia closed her eyes tight and threw her head back, shrieking with pleasure. They moved together like that, in sync, two trained dancers that had been studying together for life. Elliot brought them both to a climax, Olivia screaming for him not to stop. He collapsed on top of her, holding her tightly until their collective breathing slowed.
He raised his head and looked at her. "I ask one thing of you," he said.
Not trusting her voice, Olivia nodded, encouraging him to speak.
"Never deny me. Never."
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