angelus: I'm bored, and my friend, syphon made me do this, she said
everyone should know about this so here it is.
Disclaimer and Warnings: Don't own anything, not Foamy or Yu-gi-oh, THIS HAS A LOT OF SWEARING AND INSULTING RANDOM PEOPLE, BLAH BLAH BLAH WHO CARES ON WITH THE FIC
~*~*~*~*~*~*
DATING ADVICE
By yours truly The Lord and Master Bakura.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Bakura began setting up the camera in the middle of his room; so his room was a little messy, screw it. The media teacher wanted him to make a show on how to help people he would do a show to 'help' people, but by Ra he was going to do it his own fucking way and no one could stop him.
Okay the Pharaoh could try and that bastard with the turban could take away his ring but who cares he was doing homework, that would make Ryou happy. And stop him complaining.
"Fucking hell if I hear one more complaint on why I should do this fucking shit one more time I am going to ring his pale neck until his face goes blue, then I'm going to cut his fucking guts out and paint the city red Ra damn it!" Bakura's muttering continued on like this until the camera was ready.
He pointed the camera at the chair he would be sitting on and then pressed the record button. Hurrying over to the chair Bakura sat down and made himself comfortable, it only had to be around ten minutes long.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day Bakura and Ryou walked into the classroom, Bakura for once, was on time. The albino duo went to their seats in the classroom.
The yami of Malik, Marik nudged the tombrobber as he slouched in his chair, "So," the psychopathic yami asked, "Did Ryou get you to do it?"
"Yes," came the curt answer.
"What threat did he use this time?"
Bakura sighed, "Not only did he use the puppy eyes, he also said no cooking. And since I've been forbidden to do any harm on him," the spirit trailed off.
"Sucks to be you don't it."
"There was no rule that said I couldn't kill you Marik."
The blonde psycho grinned, "But isn't now forbidden to-"
"Hurt anyone with an innocent soul, I seriously doubt you are apart of that group Marik."
Marik snickered, "You got that right."
"Ishtar and Bakura, be quiet!" the stupid media teacher said.
The glares that were directed at him could have frozen hell itself.
The Pharaoh glanced back at them and smirked, Bakura sighed, why the whole group had to be here in all of his classes was beyond him, I mean what had he ever done to deserve it.
Apart from stealing a few gold pieces, breaking into a few tombs and killing a few people.
Really what on earth had he done wrong?
The teacher tuned back to the class, "Okay students we seem to have a special treat for you people today, it seems that Bakura actually decided to do his homework for once therefore he shall be first. And what was the subject I gave to you, ahh yes, it was dating advice."
The whole class giggled.
Bakura scowled the whole time as he walked up to the teacher and as he gave him the tape Bakura said, "One day I will find you and put you in your grave, and I will be dancing on it."
With that Bakura turned around and slouched in his chair once again.
The teacher, visibly shaken, and who wouldn't be, put the video and the VCR and turned it on.
The picture flickered a few times before a picture of Bakura sitting in a chair came on to the screen, scowling at the class even through the T.V he leaned forward.
The he spoke.
"This is going to be dating advice from your soon to be lord & master.... Bakura." At this Yami obviously annoyed glanced at Bakura who just smirked and flipped him off, the rest of the class just shook their heads. They always knew that Bakura had a few screws loose.
"Alright you women out there, listen closely, I'll only be saying this once and once only. There are two main types of guys you should look out for, the type of guy who is driving around listening to fucking dance music like Zombie Nation and stupid dumbass songs from the mid 90's that no body gives a shit about. Y'know they turn it up really loud to get your attention while driving by, as if your going to throw yourself on top of the car and start pounding on the windshield and say "Oh, I love you because your playing Zombie Nation!" Yeah okay. What the fuck ever. What you need to do is, aim for the tires and fucking blow those shits out and then he will crash into a telephone pole."
At these few remarks the teacher looked ready to turn it off but the class had other ideas.
They were finding it hilarious, except of course for those who actually listen to Zombie Nation.
The video of Bakura continued.
"Fuck that shit, and watch out for those guys who come over on the weekend and all they do is watch football and then every five minutes they say 'Hey babe, can you get me a beer from the fridge?' Fuck that shit! Tell that fat bastard to get up and get it himself. If he gives you a response like 'Well, I work all week' Well, you know what? I'm sure most of you women out there work all week and have to take care of a fucking child. Tell this fat bastard to get up and get his own beer. Tell him it's the least you can do since you've been carrying a child around in your stomach for nine months. These lazy fucking bastards just fucking piss me off! And watch out for guys that call you by pet names more than they do your own name, and if they ever refer to you as 'my girl' you drop that fucker like a rock"
The girls seemed to find most of this information very interesting.
"Now here is one for the guys.
Don't worry; there are women you should be looking out for too. Alright, like for example women that dress like damn sluts, you don't want to be affiliated with them. If you can see more cleavage than a plumber's ass, don't get involved. It's just going to cause problems when you decide to become possessive and domineering over their life."
Now it was the guys' turn to be interested.
"Also watch out for women that wear expensive jewellery. You know, the kind of fucking bitch that has 15 different kinds of rings on each finger. Oh, and people with nameplates. You know, those fucking women who have their names on this little chain as if they'd fucking forget and then women who have their own name tattooed on their own body. It's just stupid. Like, are they really THAT stupid that they wake up in the morning and say "Oh my god! What's my name?" and they have to look at their ass in the mirror to find out who they are, "Oh that's right, I'm Amy." give me a fucking break! You don't want to deal with a woman who doesn't know who they are. Oh, and here is a good test when your window shopping, if they pull you by your arm to a jewellery window, smash their hand into the window and run because you don't want to deal with some money hungry bitch."
Now the girls didn't like that one, Bakura going to get it when they were allowed out of their seats.
"My only piece of advice to have a sound relationship is to leave each other alone. Don't be overly concerned. Don't try to domineer them, Let them be independent. Let them do what they want. You think you people can understand that? But yeah, there are some reasons to be suspicious. Like if your girlfriend walks in the room with a condom on her head then you know you may want to ask a few questions but other than that try to trust the individual. If it doesn't work out, you know what? Fuck them! Let them drop dead from some weird disease. And die. You're better than that and you don't have to validate yourself through another person's life. Every individual is an island and can be an island. You do not need a significant other to live life. So stop seeking something that isn't there and move on."
Without another word Bakura in the screen stood up and moved to the camera and as the picture went black they could hear evil laughter and one last word.
"Suckers."
The teacher switched the T.V. off, "Now class, that is the exact opposite of what I would want to see in your projects, Bakura, you failed."
Bakura threw back his head and laughed, "Like I fucking care old man, just crawl back to wherever you came from and die, because I don't want to hear your annoying whining any more."
Ryou just slowly shook his head.
So much for getting his yami to do well in school.
~*~*~*~*~*
angelus: well how was that, stupid, funny, you know what I don't care if you wanna flame go ahead, my only excuse is that I was bored, however if I get over twenty reviews I might just write another of these little skits, but I seriously doubt that's gonna happen so this shall remain as a one shot so sucked in! HA!
Disclaimer and Warnings: Don't own anything, not Foamy or Yu-gi-oh, THIS HAS A LOT OF SWEARING AND INSULTING RANDOM PEOPLE, BLAH BLAH BLAH WHO CARES ON WITH THE FIC
~*~*~*~*~*~*
DATING ADVICE
By yours truly The Lord and Master Bakura.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Bakura began setting up the camera in the middle of his room; so his room was a little messy, screw it. The media teacher wanted him to make a show on how to help people he would do a show to 'help' people, but by Ra he was going to do it his own fucking way and no one could stop him.
Okay the Pharaoh could try and that bastard with the turban could take away his ring but who cares he was doing homework, that would make Ryou happy. And stop him complaining.
"Fucking hell if I hear one more complaint on why I should do this fucking shit one more time I am going to ring his pale neck until his face goes blue, then I'm going to cut his fucking guts out and paint the city red Ra damn it!" Bakura's muttering continued on like this until the camera was ready.
He pointed the camera at the chair he would be sitting on and then pressed the record button. Hurrying over to the chair Bakura sat down and made himself comfortable, it only had to be around ten minutes long.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day Bakura and Ryou walked into the classroom, Bakura for once, was on time. The albino duo went to their seats in the classroom.
The yami of Malik, Marik nudged the tombrobber as he slouched in his chair, "So," the psychopathic yami asked, "Did Ryou get you to do it?"
"Yes," came the curt answer.
"What threat did he use this time?"
Bakura sighed, "Not only did he use the puppy eyes, he also said no cooking. And since I've been forbidden to do any harm on him," the spirit trailed off.
"Sucks to be you don't it."
"There was no rule that said I couldn't kill you Marik."
The blonde psycho grinned, "But isn't now forbidden to-"
"Hurt anyone with an innocent soul, I seriously doubt you are apart of that group Marik."
Marik snickered, "You got that right."
"Ishtar and Bakura, be quiet!" the stupid media teacher said.
The glares that were directed at him could have frozen hell itself.
The Pharaoh glanced back at them and smirked, Bakura sighed, why the whole group had to be here in all of his classes was beyond him, I mean what had he ever done to deserve it.
Apart from stealing a few gold pieces, breaking into a few tombs and killing a few people.
Really what on earth had he done wrong?
The teacher tuned back to the class, "Okay students we seem to have a special treat for you people today, it seems that Bakura actually decided to do his homework for once therefore he shall be first. And what was the subject I gave to you, ahh yes, it was dating advice."
The whole class giggled.
Bakura scowled the whole time as he walked up to the teacher and as he gave him the tape Bakura said, "One day I will find you and put you in your grave, and I will be dancing on it."
With that Bakura turned around and slouched in his chair once again.
The teacher, visibly shaken, and who wouldn't be, put the video and the VCR and turned it on.
The picture flickered a few times before a picture of Bakura sitting in a chair came on to the screen, scowling at the class even through the T.V he leaned forward.
The he spoke.
"This is going to be dating advice from your soon to be lord & master.... Bakura." At this Yami obviously annoyed glanced at Bakura who just smirked and flipped him off, the rest of the class just shook their heads. They always knew that Bakura had a few screws loose.
"Alright you women out there, listen closely, I'll only be saying this once and once only. There are two main types of guys you should look out for, the type of guy who is driving around listening to fucking dance music like Zombie Nation and stupid dumbass songs from the mid 90's that no body gives a shit about. Y'know they turn it up really loud to get your attention while driving by, as if your going to throw yourself on top of the car and start pounding on the windshield and say "Oh, I love you because your playing Zombie Nation!" Yeah okay. What the fuck ever. What you need to do is, aim for the tires and fucking blow those shits out and then he will crash into a telephone pole."
At these few remarks the teacher looked ready to turn it off but the class had other ideas.
They were finding it hilarious, except of course for those who actually listen to Zombie Nation.
The video of Bakura continued.
"Fuck that shit, and watch out for those guys who come over on the weekend and all they do is watch football and then every five minutes they say 'Hey babe, can you get me a beer from the fridge?' Fuck that shit! Tell that fat bastard to get up and get it himself. If he gives you a response like 'Well, I work all week' Well, you know what? I'm sure most of you women out there work all week and have to take care of a fucking child. Tell this fat bastard to get up and get his own beer. Tell him it's the least you can do since you've been carrying a child around in your stomach for nine months. These lazy fucking bastards just fucking piss me off! And watch out for guys that call you by pet names more than they do your own name, and if they ever refer to you as 'my girl' you drop that fucker like a rock"
The girls seemed to find most of this information very interesting.
"Now here is one for the guys.
Don't worry; there are women you should be looking out for too. Alright, like for example women that dress like damn sluts, you don't want to be affiliated with them. If you can see more cleavage than a plumber's ass, don't get involved. It's just going to cause problems when you decide to become possessive and domineering over their life."
Now it was the guys' turn to be interested.
"Also watch out for women that wear expensive jewellery. You know, the kind of fucking bitch that has 15 different kinds of rings on each finger. Oh, and people with nameplates. You know, those fucking women who have their names on this little chain as if they'd fucking forget and then women who have their own name tattooed on their own body. It's just stupid. Like, are they really THAT stupid that they wake up in the morning and say "Oh my god! What's my name?" and they have to look at their ass in the mirror to find out who they are, "Oh that's right, I'm Amy." give me a fucking break! You don't want to deal with a woman who doesn't know who they are. Oh, and here is a good test when your window shopping, if they pull you by your arm to a jewellery window, smash their hand into the window and run because you don't want to deal with some money hungry bitch."
Now the girls didn't like that one, Bakura going to get it when they were allowed out of their seats.
"My only piece of advice to have a sound relationship is to leave each other alone. Don't be overly concerned. Don't try to domineer them, Let them be independent. Let them do what they want. You think you people can understand that? But yeah, there are some reasons to be suspicious. Like if your girlfriend walks in the room with a condom on her head then you know you may want to ask a few questions but other than that try to trust the individual. If it doesn't work out, you know what? Fuck them! Let them drop dead from some weird disease. And die. You're better than that and you don't have to validate yourself through another person's life. Every individual is an island and can be an island. You do not need a significant other to live life. So stop seeking something that isn't there and move on."
Without another word Bakura in the screen stood up and moved to the camera and as the picture went black they could hear evil laughter and one last word.
"Suckers."
The teacher switched the T.V. off, "Now class, that is the exact opposite of what I would want to see in your projects, Bakura, you failed."
Bakura threw back his head and laughed, "Like I fucking care old man, just crawl back to wherever you came from and die, because I don't want to hear your annoying whining any more."
Ryou just slowly shook his head.
So much for getting his yami to do well in school.
~*~*~*~*~*
angelus: well how was that, stupid, funny, you know what I don't care if you wanna flame go ahead, my only excuse is that I was bored, however if I get over twenty reviews I might just write another of these little skits, but I seriously doubt that's gonna happen so this shall remain as a one shot so sucked in! HA!