angelus: well since you guys gave me more reviews then I thought I would
get I decided to continue with the fic, and yeah I did change the title
although if someone can give me a better name I'd be more then happy to use
it and give ya the credit. And this fic will be updated randomly kay I'll
just do it when I can't be bothered writing romance.
Disclaimer: did that in the first chapter so get lost!
Warnings: Swearing, slight sexual references and everyone being OOC all well it is humour
Fat-Kins Diet
The glaring from the women was getting to him Bakura decided. So he had been a little over board in the 'dating advice' so what, it wasn't going to kill them. And neither could Bakura.
Damn it why did Ra have to be so against him, Bakura could tell the moment the class was allowed out of their seats he was going to be in for it, and what was worse he had Home Economics next. Another assignment was due in it, this time it was an oral.
At that thought Bakura's mind left his head and went straight to his pants, making him smirk.
Ryou glanced over at Bakura, 'What the hell was he thinking,' Ryou wondered, then he gave a mental sigh, probably about how he was going to rule the world again, that or sex. Ryou wouldn't exactly put it passed him and there was no way Ryou was going to check this time, last time had been bad enough.
Ryou groaned and put his head on the desk, the teacher was putting in another tape, which just happened to be Yami's, oh and what was that you asked, 'What did Yami get to tape?' Take one guess. It was one of the only things that Yami could do and just happened to be the King of Games because of it.
Yep you guessed it, Yami had the lucky job on giving advice and tips on Duel Monsters. Wonderful, this tape was going to go for an hour.
Then before the teacher could insert the tape the bell went, lucky for them.
Bakura was shot out of his daze when the bell had gone off, "Stupid bell" he muttered, "ruins all my fun, just like the porcupine (Yami)."
Marik grinned at Bakura, "Well Bakura, have fun in Home Economics," he said laughing.
"Shut up Marik! I didn't have much of a choice."
This was true, as an attempt to keep Bakura from Mutilating everyone, as he wasn't allowed to kill, (actually he wasn't allowed to mutilate things either, but if Bakura wasn't allowed to do that, well can you say apocalypse) Destroying the school by blowing it sky high or burning it to the ground, which wasn't that bad an idea but the fact that when Bakura couldn't keep his mouth shut when he had done something mean or evil would mean that he would be caught pretty quickly.
Ryou had taken Bakura to every one of his classes, including...
Poetry class.
Poor, poor Bakura.
Well anyway back to where Marik was laughing at Bakura...
"Look on the bright side Bakura, from the glares your getting, I'll doubt you will make it out alive to Home Ec."
Bakura just seemed to realise how bad the situation was, not only that but it seemed that the Pharaoh and his little followers seemed to be laughing at him from a distance. No one should laugh at the King of Thieves!
So to get him out of his situation he grabbed Marik, who was still laughing and used him as a human shield to get out of there.
Lets just say Marik wasn't very happy, but I'll spare you the gory details and we will skip to Bakura's next class, Home Economics.
"Alright class," said the annoyingly cheerful teacher, "your orals are due today and I hope your all ready for them." She continued to smile that sickly sweet smile that made Bakura want to puke.
The class, which was mostly females, who just happened to be from media, and a few males, nodded.
"Okay then, lets see now, Bakura you go first! You had the 'How do you feel about dieting' and you were going to focus on the Fat-kins diet right?" she smiled again, something about her made Bakura freak out sometimes. And what was with making him go first all the time. "And I hope this time Bakura that you did some research," she added.
Oh yeah Bakura remembered the research.
Flash back
"Ryou! How the hell do you work this box thing and make it connect to that place where you go to a lot?"
Ryou sighed and walked to where Bakura was sitting, "Look first you press this button here," he said speaking as if Bakura was a child, "then you wait until it is uploaded... Ah there we go and then we click on this now type in what you want and there you have it, instant information!"
"Remind me Ryou, why am I doing this again?"
"Because if you don't you will starve Bakura."
"You know Ryou, for someone who is supposed to be really nice you can be downright evil sometimes."
"Well, if you do this I'll get you a bagel and a waffle sundae, you seem to like them a lot." With that Ryou went back to doing whatever the hell he was doing in the first place.
"Stupid Ryou," Bakura muttered, "how dare he speak to me as if I was an idiot, me, the future ruler of the world." Bakura began his evil laugh until someone (AKA Ryou) threw something at him yelling "Shut up!"
After Bakura recovered from the abuse he quickly scanned the information, then he remembered this was the diet that girl he had gone out with was on. Geez, all he was looking for was to get laid bad her insistent chatter quickly killed the mood.
Then Bakura had a brainwave, if he could get anything he wanted, well what would happen if he typed porn in.
Needless to say Bakura had been glued to the screen for the rest of the day.
End Flashback
Bakura glanced at the teacher, yeah he did the research alright, and after that he had gotten Ryou to write out the oral. Bakura quickly glanced at the palm cards, what kind of shit was this? Bakura threw down the cards in disgust, oh well he would have to wing it.
Bakura cleared his throat and began...
"Now what did I think of the Fat-kins diet, well let me think for a second, oh wait I already know, I'm fuckin' sick of the Fat-kins diet. You fuckin' carb-counting assholes really need to stop. Every single girl I go out with so I can get laid looks at the fucking food and says, 'Oh I can't eat that, it has carbs...' Well you know what, you need carbs, if you don't have carbs your brain rots and your liver gets damaged. Nice, real nice. You're thin, and have some weird ass mental disease and a bad liver. Yep, the vanity is worth it.
I'm also sick of this fuckin' exchange program, where you minus the fibre grams from the fat grams and the carb grams, to determine what the carb ratio is in your food. Fuck that. When I pick up food I'm not gonna start doing addition and subtraction to see if it's a fuckin' meal I can eat. How about just minusing some fuckin' food from your every day eating binges you fat bastards. Stop looking to some dead man for a quick fix diet and just eat like a sensible human being.
I don't look fat do I?
You wanna know why?
It's because I exercise by running from the guards or as you people call it, 'police' whenever I take something that rightfully belongs to me!
So stop being so concerned about your image and just be yourself. If you're a fat bastard, fine, be a fat bastard. If you're an anorexic jack-ass with a thyroid problem, fine...be a twig. Stop doing all these unnecessary diets.
Cause you know, once you get down to your goal weight, you're gonna be like: 'Sure, I can have an extra piece of cake, look at all the weight I lost'. Then before you know it, your back on a diet cause your ass is fallin' out of your jeans.
Just be yourself, eat that Twinkie, enjoy that cake, and buy that extra pound of gourmet cream cheese you always wanted!!! And if people look at you funny because you're too fat or too skinny, tell em to fuck off and die. You do not need to adhere to the idealistic vision of beauty marketed by fashion magazines and negatively re-enforced by a society dumb enough to believe that beauty only appears on the cover of a magazine.
Fuck them all!!!
Now Ryou where's my waffle sundae? And get me my bagel while you're at it."
Class:
Ryou: --;
Teacher: wow Bakura you actually did some research, I'm so proud of you, your growing up to be a smart young man. Full marks. Oh and by the way what did you mean about taking something that rightfully belongs to you.
Bakura gave her a weird look and thought 'Was she even listening to a word I said' and then out loud "Everything belongs to me because one day I will rule the world!" insert evil laughter here
The teacher gave him another ditzy smile, "Oh good on you for having such high goals, and if you can't make it as ruler of the world you can always just rule Japan. You can sit down now"
Bakura quickly walked over to Ryou and sat down; Ryou gave him a glare "Your not getting anything for the next month Bakura, or until you control that vile mouth of yours."
Bakura crossed his arms like a sullen child, "Bastard."
Ryou's response was to grab the frying pan and wack him on the head with it.
Bakura:
Class: --;
Teacher:
Ryou .
And there you have it another chapter and a warning none of my stories are going to be updated until my TEE exams are over so don't bother telling me to update sooner
Review Replies
Shadow Guardian of the Gate: You know it's because of people like you that makes me write ano0ther chapter you guys really need to stop doing that and praising me before my ego grows to large
prematureangel529: Sorry can't do all those I was only going to do random skits that were connected in some weird way but I hope you enjoyed the chapter none the less
DreamingChild: Probably and Zombie Nation is an awful techno band I don't really know much about them other then that, I just ask my friend, and yeah Bakura doesn't go on 'dates' he goes to dinner with random girls to get laid
belle-fille1: Thanks, but I didn't get twenty reviews sighs I just expect too much from people but I'll continue this for those who did.
Redconvoy: Hell yeah Foamy rocks and have you seen the new ep, it's so true, and look I did you idea and maybe you know which one I'm doing next, there was a hint in it
FearOfDying: Well that's reality for ya no one ever tells you who to look out for, luckily for us we have Bakura... Actually I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
Rowan Girl: Yes I agree with you, however teachers are pretty stupid despite the fact they teach us crap, which means generation after generation it gets worse, we must break the cycle strikes pose actually just ignore what I just said... I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Princess Krystal01: I know, damn teachers!
Cyber-Fairy17: Thanks I'm glad some people like my work heres another.
heath 999: Glad you liked it
Maxine Pegasus J.Crawford XIII: You know with all these praises it's gonna go to my head, I just know it, but please feel free to keep doing so
Sailor Tiamat: Yes the girls have yet to get there revenge yet hehe that's going to be fun watching Bakura running all over the school trying to dodge them, but they well get their revenge, I promise.
Review please...
OR ELSE!
Disclaimer: did that in the first chapter so get lost!
Warnings: Swearing, slight sexual references and everyone being OOC all well it is humour
Fat-Kins Diet
The glaring from the women was getting to him Bakura decided. So he had been a little over board in the 'dating advice' so what, it wasn't going to kill them. And neither could Bakura.
Damn it why did Ra have to be so against him, Bakura could tell the moment the class was allowed out of their seats he was going to be in for it, and what was worse he had Home Economics next. Another assignment was due in it, this time it was an oral.
At that thought Bakura's mind left his head and went straight to his pants, making him smirk.
Ryou glanced over at Bakura, 'What the hell was he thinking,' Ryou wondered, then he gave a mental sigh, probably about how he was going to rule the world again, that or sex. Ryou wouldn't exactly put it passed him and there was no way Ryou was going to check this time, last time had been bad enough.
Ryou groaned and put his head on the desk, the teacher was putting in another tape, which just happened to be Yami's, oh and what was that you asked, 'What did Yami get to tape?' Take one guess. It was one of the only things that Yami could do and just happened to be the King of Games because of it.
Yep you guessed it, Yami had the lucky job on giving advice and tips on Duel Monsters. Wonderful, this tape was going to go for an hour.
Then before the teacher could insert the tape the bell went, lucky for them.
Bakura was shot out of his daze when the bell had gone off, "Stupid bell" he muttered, "ruins all my fun, just like the porcupine (Yami)."
Marik grinned at Bakura, "Well Bakura, have fun in Home Economics," he said laughing.
"Shut up Marik! I didn't have much of a choice."
This was true, as an attempt to keep Bakura from Mutilating everyone, as he wasn't allowed to kill, (actually he wasn't allowed to mutilate things either, but if Bakura wasn't allowed to do that, well can you say apocalypse) Destroying the school by blowing it sky high or burning it to the ground, which wasn't that bad an idea but the fact that when Bakura couldn't keep his mouth shut when he had done something mean or evil would mean that he would be caught pretty quickly.
Ryou had taken Bakura to every one of his classes, including...
Poetry class.
Poor, poor Bakura.
Well anyway back to where Marik was laughing at Bakura...
"Look on the bright side Bakura, from the glares your getting, I'll doubt you will make it out alive to Home Ec."
Bakura just seemed to realise how bad the situation was, not only that but it seemed that the Pharaoh and his little followers seemed to be laughing at him from a distance. No one should laugh at the King of Thieves!
So to get him out of his situation he grabbed Marik, who was still laughing and used him as a human shield to get out of there.
Lets just say Marik wasn't very happy, but I'll spare you the gory details and we will skip to Bakura's next class, Home Economics.
"Alright class," said the annoyingly cheerful teacher, "your orals are due today and I hope your all ready for them." She continued to smile that sickly sweet smile that made Bakura want to puke.
The class, which was mostly females, who just happened to be from media, and a few males, nodded.
"Okay then, lets see now, Bakura you go first! You had the 'How do you feel about dieting' and you were going to focus on the Fat-kins diet right?" she smiled again, something about her made Bakura freak out sometimes. And what was with making him go first all the time. "And I hope this time Bakura that you did some research," she added.
Oh yeah Bakura remembered the research.
Flash back
"Ryou! How the hell do you work this box thing and make it connect to that place where you go to a lot?"
Ryou sighed and walked to where Bakura was sitting, "Look first you press this button here," he said speaking as if Bakura was a child, "then you wait until it is uploaded... Ah there we go and then we click on this now type in what you want and there you have it, instant information!"
"Remind me Ryou, why am I doing this again?"
"Because if you don't you will starve Bakura."
"You know Ryou, for someone who is supposed to be really nice you can be downright evil sometimes."
"Well, if you do this I'll get you a bagel and a waffle sundae, you seem to like them a lot." With that Ryou went back to doing whatever the hell he was doing in the first place.
"Stupid Ryou," Bakura muttered, "how dare he speak to me as if I was an idiot, me, the future ruler of the world." Bakura began his evil laugh until someone (AKA Ryou) threw something at him yelling "Shut up!"
After Bakura recovered from the abuse he quickly scanned the information, then he remembered this was the diet that girl he had gone out with was on. Geez, all he was looking for was to get laid bad her insistent chatter quickly killed the mood.
Then Bakura had a brainwave, if he could get anything he wanted, well what would happen if he typed porn in.
Needless to say Bakura had been glued to the screen for the rest of the day.
End Flashback
Bakura glanced at the teacher, yeah he did the research alright, and after that he had gotten Ryou to write out the oral. Bakura quickly glanced at the palm cards, what kind of shit was this? Bakura threw down the cards in disgust, oh well he would have to wing it.
Bakura cleared his throat and began...
"Now what did I think of the Fat-kins diet, well let me think for a second, oh wait I already know, I'm fuckin' sick of the Fat-kins diet. You fuckin' carb-counting assholes really need to stop. Every single girl I go out with so I can get laid looks at the fucking food and says, 'Oh I can't eat that, it has carbs...' Well you know what, you need carbs, if you don't have carbs your brain rots and your liver gets damaged. Nice, real nice. You're thin, and have some weird ass mental disease and a bad liver. Yep, the vanity is worth it.
I'm also sick of this fuckin' exchange program, where you minus the fibre grams from the fat grams and the carb grams, to determine what the carb ratio is in your food. Fuck that. When I pick up food I'm not gonna start doing addition and subtraction to see if it's a fuckin' meal I can eat. How about just minusing some fuckin' food from your every day eating binges you fat bastards. Stop looking to some dead man for a quick fix diet and just eat like a sensible human being.
I don't look fat do I?
You wanna know why?
It's because I exercise by running from the guards or as you people call it, 'police' whenever I take something that rightfully belongs to me!
So stop being so concerned about your image and just be yourself. If you're a fat bastard, fine, be a fat bastard. If you're an anorexic jack-ass with a thyroid problem, fine...be a twig. Stop doing all these unnecessary diets.
Cause you know, once you get down to your goal weight, you're gonna be like: 'Sure, I can have an extra piece of cake, look at all the weight I lost'. Then before you know it, your back on a diet cause your ass is fallin' out of your jeans.
Just be yourself, eat that Twinkie, enjoy that cake, and buy that extra pound of gourmet cream cheese you always wanted!!! And if people look at you funny because you're too fat or too skinny, tell em to fuck off and die. You do not need to adhere to the idealistic vision of beauty marketed by fashion magazines and negatively re-enforced by a society dumb enough to believe that beauty only appears on the cover of a magazine.
Fuck them all!!!
Now Ryou where's my waffle sundae? And get me my bagel while you're at it."
Class:
Ryou: --;
Teacher: wow Bakura you actually did some research, I'm so proud of you, your growing up to be a smart young man. Full marks. Oh and by the way what did you mean about taking something that rightfully belongs to you.
Bakura gave her a weird look and thought 'Was she even listening to a word I said' and then out loud "Everything belongs to me because one day I will rule the world!" insert evil laughter here
The teacher gave him another ditzy smile, "Oh good on you for having such high goals, and if you can't make it as ruler of the world you can always just rule Japan. You can sit down now"
Bakura quickly walked over to Ryou and sat down; Ryou gave him a glare "Your not getting anything for the next month Bakura, or until you control that vile mouth of yours."
Bakura crossed his arms like a sullen child, "Bastard."
Ryou's response was to grab the frying pan and wack him on the head with it.
Bakura:
Class: --;
Teacher:
Ryou .
And there you have it another chapter and a warning none of my stories are going to be updated until my TEE exams are over so don't bother telling me to update sooner
Review Replies
Shadow Guardian of the Gate: You know it's because of people like you that makes me write ano0ther chapter you guys really need to stop doing that and praising me before my ego grows to large
prematureangel529: Sorry can't do all those I was only going to do random skits that were connected in some weird way but I hope you enjoyed the chapter none the less
DreamingChild: Probably and Zombie Nation is an awful techno band I don't really know much about them other then that, I just ask my friend, and yeah Bakura doesn't go on 'dates' he goes to dinner with random girls to get laid
belle-fille1: Thanks, but I didn't get twenty reviews sighs I just expect too much from people but I'll continue this for those who did.
Redconvoy: Hell yeah Foamy rocks and have you seen the new ep, it's so true, and look I did you idea and maybe you know which one I'm doing next, there was a hint in it
FearOfDying: Well that's reality for ya no one ever tells you who to look out for, luckily for us we have Bakura... Actually I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
Rowan Girl: Yes I agree with you, however teachers are pretty stupid despite the fact they teach us crap, which means generation after generation it gets worse, we must break the cycle strikes pose actually just ignore what I just said... I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Princess Krystal01: I know, damn teachers!
Cyber-Fairy17: Thanks I'm glad some people like my work heres another.
heath 999: Glad you liked it
Maxine Pegasus J.Crawford XIII: You know with all these praises it's gonna go to my head, I just know it, but please feel free to keep doing so
Sailor Tiamat: Yes the girls have yet to get there revenge yet hehe that's going to be fun watching Bakura running all over the school trying to dodge them, but they well get their revenge, I promise.
Review please...
OR ELSE!