Woo-Hoo! Another story in the bag. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the story and read it. And thanks so much for your patience as I started to lag there at the end. I'm already formulating a concept for my next story so be sure to look for that. Enjoy and Thanks!
CHAPTER 16
Moment of Truth"Where is she?"
Elliot looked up from the DD-5 he was working on. He treated Alex to his signature cocked eyebrow. "I could ask you the same thing."
Alex struggled to control her frustration. Elliot could be a stubborn son of a bitch when he wanted to be, so if she wanted to get any information out of him she was going to have to play nice. "Is there somewhere we can go…for some privacy?"
Elliot tossed his pen onto the desk and motioned Alex to follow him. He lead her to the roof, where the wind was kicking up a bit. Alex couldn't help thinking this is where it had started with her and Olivia, a fateful kiss that brought her here with this man.
"I don't know where Liv is Alex," Elliot said, finally speaking. He leaned against the wall. "She took indefinite personal leave."
Alex sighed, letting her frustration loose. "She isn't at her apartment, she's not answering her phone calls, emails, nothing. It's like she dropped off the face of the earth."
"She told the captain she needed some time away," Elliot supplied, "I just don't know where."
"I wonder what it is she needed 'time away' from?"
"Us," Elliot said matter of factly. "How long did you think this was going to last Alex?"
Alex studied him. Before she had cultivated a relationship with Olivia, she had fostered no ill will towards this man. Sure, she thought he was at times very stubborn and somewhat overly aggressive with a penchant for breaking the rules, but she respected him because he was a good cop. But a certain woman loved him and it created such hate inside her of for Elliot Stabler. She wasn't proud of it, but Alex just hated losing.
"You sound so sure of yourself," she said bitterly. "I told you not to count me out of this Stabler."
Elliot sighed. "I'm not," he said quietly. "Believe it or not Alex, this isn't personal. I just want to be with Olivia. And if you get in the way of that, then fine. I won't force her to make a decision and I won't hold it against you if she doesn't choose me. I just want her to be happy…for once in her life I want her to experience true happiness."
"Do you think she would be happier with you?" she asked him honestly.
"Who's to know? All I can do is just love her unconditionally and hope that it is enough."
Alex took a deep breath and gazed out into the skyline. "I knew I was different from a very young age, Elliot," she began. "I've had a healthy number of relationships in the past, so love is not new to me. But this, what I have with Olivia, is so very different than anything I have ever experienced. Even with my ex Pam, I thought she was the one…then I got involved with Olivia." Tears were making a trail down her face, but she didn't notice. "Olivia is like air…I need her Elliot. I need her to sustain me."
Elliot was silent until Alex composed herself. He knew she had just shared a very personal moment with him and he understood how she felt more than anyone ever could.
"Alex, one of us is going to get hurt in this, as much as I hate it for both of us. But that's just the way it has to be. But if we love her the way that we say we do, we'll support her in whatever decision she decides to make."
Alex nodded her head. He was right. It didn't make it any less painful, but he was right.
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Olivia stepped out of the cab and into the fresh, crisp air. She was in Battery Park, ready to start her Saturday morning jog before her meeting. She had been back in the city for two days now, tan from her time in St. Thomas. She needed to be in a tropical, neutral location, a place where she could do a lot of self-reflection and detoxification.
One, two, one, two, one, two, one…While away, she had decided what she had to do with the love triangle that was her, Elliot and Alex. And refreshingly, she had discovered it was what she wanted to do, had wanted to do since the beginning. Huang was right – Olivia had loved the attention, sexual and romantic. A deep sense of ego propelled her to sustain relationships with both Alex and Elliot, a selfish need that she had to fulfill.
One, two, one, two, one, two, one…Olivia felt the blood rush through her veins. She loved them both, she knew that. Nothing would ever change that. But there was only one individual that she was in love with and always had been, one that she could see a future with and would love her through the good and the bad, through all her faults and attributes.
One, two, one, two…Olivia was nearing the meeting place. When she had arrived back at her apartment, she had discovered some information that both surprised and overwhelmed her. She took it as a sign that she had made the right decision about Elliot and Alex.
"Hey, gorgeous."
Alex looked up. Her beautiful Olivia was smiling brightly. She had missed her dearly and was delighted, relieved and anxious all rolled into one when Olivia had phoned her last night and requested she meet her in the park. Olivia plopped down on the bench, a feeling of déjà vu accosting Alex's senses.
"I missed you Olivia," Alex said softly, drinking in Olivia's warm brown eyes.
Olivia smiled. "I missed you too, Alex. Thank you for meeting with me."
"Of course," she answered, taking Olivia's hand. "I guess we have a lot to talk about."
Olivia nodded. "Yeah," she whispered. "First, I just wanted to apologize for all of the hurt and misery I caused you over the last year. I … I have some things that I need to work out, things that I didn't notice at the time about myself, but I'm going to fix them."
"You're perfect Olivia," Alex said, but Olivia waived her off.
"No," she said firmly. "What I did to you was unacceptable. I should have been honest. I had no right to drag you into some torrid love triangle."
"I've learned so much from you Alex," she continued, squeezing the woman's hands. "Stuff about myself, and stuff about other people. You are my dearest and loveliest friend and I want to thank you for all you've done for me."
Alex eyes started to tear as she let the words sink in. "You're leaving me aren't you?" she choked.
Olivia bit her lip, her own tears falling. "Yes, Alex, I'm leaving you."
They sat there like that, both trying desperately to grip onto something that was already slipping out of their reach.
"Oh Olivia," Alex said painfully, "…What am I going to do without you?"
"I'm always going to be here for you Alex, you will always be my best friend," she said fiercely, forcing the blonde woman to look her in the eyes. "Nothing will ever change that. But what I have for Elliot…I fell in love with Elliot the first time I met him. Sure, I didn't know it at the time, but we share a chemistry that is amazing, beautiful and so pure. He would die for me and I for him. I can't deny this love for him, no matter how hard I try. I don't know what is going to happen with his family, hell I don't even know if he will ever leave his wife for me. But it's a sacrifice that I'm willing to take to be with the one I know I was meant to be with."
Alex listened silently. She was tearing apart inside, but Olivia's words rang with such sincerity, that she couldn't help but feel happy for her. Elliot was right. If she truly loved Olivia, she would love her enough to let her go. She could never hate this woman, no matter how hard she tried.
"I have to have you in my life, Olivia and if it's just for friendship than I will take it," she said firmly.
Olivia smiled brightly. "It's for more than that," she said. She took Alex's hand and placed it on her stomach. "I want you to be my baby's Godmother."
Alex gasped. "You're…you're pregnant?" she asked in disbelief. "Does…does Elliot know?"
"No," Olivia said laughing, voice full of joy. "I haven't told him yet. I'm so scared! I'm not quite sure how he is going to take it."
Alex cradled Olivia's face between her hands. "He'll feel so blessed," she said firmly. "And yes, I will be your baby's Godmother."
Olivia smiled and touched her forehead to Alex's, so grateful to have such a wonderful woman in her life.
"Come on," Alex said, standing up. She extended her hand to Olivia. "Let's go tell Papa the good news."
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