The next morning, Hitomi woke in her bed. Without opening her eyes, she reached over to touch Van. Her hand groped blindly for a few moments before she opened her eyes. The bed was empty, though still warm. She got up and wrapped herself in a bathrobe as she slowly climbed down her stairs, looking for the man who had just recently left her bed.

Bozo was jumping around the back door, shrieking to be let out. Hitomi nudged him out of the way with her foot and slipped out the door to where she could see Van. He was standing in the middle of her backyard with nothing but his white pants on, head thrown back to face the sky, eyes closed. His hair and feathers were moving slightly, as if being pushed by a breeze that wasn't quite there.

"Van?" Hitomi asked quietly. "Is everything alright?"

He didn't reply and she stood there for a long while just watching him. After a while, Van opened his eyes, blinked to clear them, and looked at her. A forced smile broke upon his face as he moved forward to touch her. Hitomi's smile was just a false as Van's as they stood in her backyard embracing for several moments.

"What happened?" she asked in a whisper. "What was that?"

"I was just having a conversation with You-Know-Who." He nodded his head upwards.

"Oh yes? And?"

"And what?"

"What did He say, Van?"

He sighed and wiped some of his hair off of his face. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Van," Hitomi called after him, as he headed back towards the house. "Van!"

He ignored her and continued until he disappeared through the door. She followed him quickly, wanting to catch him before he had a chance to hide himself somewhere. It was easy to find him, because he was leaving a trail of feathers wherever he went. Hitomi traced him to her en suite bathroom.

Van's back was to her and he was starting a shower. She opened her mouth to ask again, but he whirled on her quicker than she knew he could move. Within instants he was right in her face, invading her head with his scent. His eyes were dark and staring at her in a sad, angry sort of way.

"Don't ask," he begged. "Please. Just let me work it out in my head, first. Please, Hitomi."

Hitomi's hand came up to cup the side of his face gently, and he leaned into the touch. "Alright."

"I love you," he whispered, moving his mouth in close to touch her ear. She shivered and felt his hands start to move down her sides. He looked hesitantly at her, then started to pull her shirt over her head. Hitomi never let her eyes leave his.

When he had her completely undressed, he glanced over her body and gave a small sigh. Van's eyes came back up to look at hers and then she moved her hands to remove him of his unneeded garments, painstakingly slow.

They stood there naked for a few moments, just staring at each other until Van suddenly grabbed Hitomi and pushed her against the wall. She could feel his mouth on hers, pleading with her to let him in, telling her how he felt.

She wrapped her hands through his hair and gripped to him. When he pulled away, he was breathing heavily and Hitomi was astonished to see that he was wingless.

"Where -" she cleared her throat "- where did they go?"

He picked her up, swung the shower curtain aside, and stepped into the steam and water. "I want to touch you," was all he said.

"Van," she choked out, feeling his hands stroking small patterns down her back, "Is this okay? I mean... you're an angel, I'm a human."

"I'm in this deep," he whispered. "And even if I could stop, I wouldn't."

She just stared at him until Van started to kiss her again, this time slowly, and gently. His hands stayed innocently on her hips until she started to press herself into him, at which time he slowly started to explore her body with the tips of his fingers.

Somehow, it had never occurred to Hitomi that angels might be built without the right equipment. Every time she had looked at Van he had screamed MALE. And now, as she felt that he was getting more into his touching, she was extremely happy she had been right.

After letting him touch her gently for several minutes, Hitomi reached her arm up to his neck and started to trail her hand down his chest, following the pattern the water was making over the skin.

He gasped and broke away from her again. His eyes looked so trusting, so loving and wonderful, that Hitomi started to cry. A small, crooked smile broke out on his face, as if he understood exactly what was in her head. He moved to hold her, until her crying had quieted. And then Van was in front of her again, kissing her so roughly she couldn't quite find anything, in her head or in her surroundings, to hold onto.

Their breath started coming out faster, in gasps, as their kissing became more frantic.

As Hitomi pressed herself into him, trying to actually be one with him, Van gripped her hips and lifted her feet from the ground. She felt cool tiles against her back and Van's warmth against her front.

She felt him pause.

"Please Van," she begged, wanting him to come closer, as close as any man could be to a woman.

His head was resting in the crook of her neck and he was breathing hard, shaking. Hitomi repeated her request and felt his fingers tighten around her skin.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. Kissing her gently, she felt him hesitate. Her back arched in anticipation...

And then he set her down.

She promptly slid to the floor, shaking too badly to support herself. Van followed her to the floor, water dripping from his hair onto her breasts as he looked down on her. Their hands were clasped together, holding so tightly it was painful.

"Why... why?" she asked him.

"I'm sorry, Hitomi. I can't... I can't. Oh God," he said, (the water became scalding hot for a split second and he cringed) "I love you. I love you so much, but I can't."

Hitomi's head was spinning. She didn't feel simply as if she had been refused sex. She felt as if she had been refused access to the innermost part of Van's soul. Her hands shook as she held his. Looking up, she saw his eyes closed, his jaw clenched.

"Van?" she asked, quietly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have expected... I mean... it's just that..."

"It's okay, I understand completely," he whispered as he kissed her forehead.

"I - I love you, Van. I know I haven't said it, but I do."

The crooked smile was back on his face. "I know," he said.

He lowered himself onto her and lay on her, his head on her shoulder. She stroked his hair as they lay their until the water became cold.

(A/N: Okay, here's the deal, yo. I used to post this on another account, and this is the first time I've written a chapter in almost a year. So I decided to post this story on hear because, quite frankly, I'm in love with it. Anyways. Review.)