A/N: Okay, so, obviously, this fic isn't going to be a one-shot…I don't think that would've worked out so well anyway. School's started back up, so expect an update every other weekend. On with chapter two…
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created by J.K. Rowling and poems by George Bernard Shaw, only the plot is mine.
(… … … … …)
-You never know true pain, until you've looked into the eyes of someone you love, and they look away- Author Unknown
Hidden Sorrows: Chapter Two
The next morning, after spending the previous night crying until my eyes could shed no more tears, I rose early. Looking in the mirror, I thought of what Ron would see. Puffy, red eyes glared back at my reflection as I observed with much distaste my morning appearance.
Grieving definitely did not serve me justice, as my hair now seemed frizzier than before, and the dark, circles under my eyes ever more noticeable. Sighing, I wearily changed into my robes and, as it was mercifully a weekend, decided to trail about Hogsmeade.
Skipping breakfast, I slowly ambled through the quaint and strangely calm streets of Hogsmeade. It was mid-December and the enchanted candles floated serenely in the trees along side me. I had assumed more people would be about, tending to their Christmas shopping.
Well, it was much more peaceful with out all the holiday stress anyway. The weather would have been perfect, except for the fault of extremely cold temperatures. I hardly felt a drift though, even as the few others who hurried past me burrowed deeper into their winter coats.
I guess at that point, you could describe my emotions, though complex they were, all in one, simple word; numb. To put it more clearly, I was exactly what the word suggested, devoid of any sensation or feeling.
It's a curious sensation, the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, nothing matters anymore.
Brushing off the familiar pang of loneliness I could feel coming on, I quickened my steps and walked into the first store I happened to come upon.
Ironically enough, it was the Quidditch store. Immediately, memories of myself spending the past Christmas' shopping there for Ron resurfaced, and I struggled to push them to the back of my mind. Desperate to clear my head, I browsed through the cheerful shop, pausing every now and then to glance at some new displays.
I spent a few more moments in the store, thinking forlornly of the biting cold outside, before finally venturing out onto the town's cobbled streets empty-handed. As I was stepping out, however, I collided into someone. We both fell to the firm ground, and I felt embarrassment seep through to my cheeks.
Flustered, I hastily picked myself up before offering a hand to the person whom I'd knocked over. It wasn't until she'd grasped my hand that I recognized her, and as soon as I saw her, I wanted to shove her back to the ground; Lavender Brown.
We stood, face to face, not saying a word. Distinctly, I noticed the wind had picked up. Not because I felt it, no, I was still numb, maybe even more so now. But because as it gained momentum, Lavender's long, brown hair blew around her fair face gracefully, while my own became pitifully tangled and flew into my eyes.
It was as if I'd suddenly had an epiphany. All at once, I could see clearly the reasons Ron had stopped loving me. The motive to finally end our relationship stood awkwardly in front of my very eyes, shuffling from foot to foot, though she still had yet to say anything.
She didn't even have any make-up on, yet she still looked quite pretty. I'd never allowed Ron to even look at me before dabbing on some mascara, because without it, I looked like death.
Suddenly, I wished I could use a time-turner and get ready properly this morning. I hadn't even remembered to charm my eyes to remove their puffiness.
Finally, she smiled politely and greeted me. "Hello, Hermione." I nodded in return, giving her a small grin, though not yet trusting myself to speak. She was understanding, and continued to bring up topics of discussion; how have I been since Hogwarts? How's work at the Ministry going?
Eventually, we both fell into easy conversation, and I'd almost forgotten that she was the one Ron had chosen.
"Pardon me, but you look dreadfully tired, Hermione. Are you alright?" As she asked me this, I searched her eyes for a hint of recognition. Didn't she know that I was madly in love with the very man she was now seeing? Didn't she know that, at that moment, I hated myself even more for breaking it off with him?
Apparently not, as I only saw earnest concern.
'How am I supposed to hate her if she's nice?' I thought to myself before sighing and quickly listing off an excuse about some neighbors in the flat above me having a party the previous night. She smiled warmly and began telling me a similar story, consisting of her own loud neighbors who had a bachelor party.
"Lots of attractive blokes, sure, but finally, my patience thinned to the point where I simply walked upstairs, in my nightgown to make matters worse, and cursed the whole lot!" Lavender finished with a wild gesture.
I surprised myself by laughing loudly at her tale and upon realizing this, stopped short. She didn't seem to notice, however, but instead asked if I would like to join her for a drink at The Three Broomsticks. Happily, I agreed, and we began our trek to the pub.
I entered in through the door behind Lavender and smiled privately as I immersed myself in the comfortable atmosphere that only The Three Broomsticks could provide. Madame Rosmerta saw us and immediately gestured toward a booth in the back, as the rest of the tables were taken.
Lavender ordered three butterbeers, explaining that she was meeting someone there in a couple minutes. I nodded, thinking nothing of it, and led the way to the booth in the back. By the time we'd finished our drinks, we were both laughing boisterously as we continued to share more stories and jokes.
I wished I could sit there all day, just chatting with Lavender believe it or not, but upon noticing that she kept glancing at her watch, I relented and told her I had to get home to finish up some last minute files for work.
Promising her that we'd keep in touch by owl, I began walking towards the front door, only to quickly turn around and practically run to the bar. Ron had just walked in, and at the point, I knew confronting him, visually or verbally, would not be wise on my part.
Sitting on one of the barstools, I hastily waved Madame Rosmerta off and looked fleetingly in the mirror hanging over the menu on the wall. If I was careful not to draw attention to myself, I could watch them without being caught.
That wouldn't be eavesdropping because…I couldn't hear them…right?
And that wouldn't be spying because…okay, so I was spying on them, but based on curiosity purposes only.
Lavender was laughing at something Ron had just said, and I couldn't help but catch the sparkle in her eyes. No camera (wizard or muggle) could've captured the look of pure happiness on her face when he smiled at her.
My heart broke a little more inside.
Suddenly, Ron glanced up at the mirror and saw me. I froze momentarily as our eyes met; hues of his sparkling blue meshing with my own dull, brown. Unintentionally, I found myself searching his eyes for some kind of emotion. Before I even had the chance to get a proper look, though, he turned back toward Lavender, as if nothing had happened, and continued telling his joke.
The music in the pub played louder, and I felt the crucial desire to fade into the melodies of the song. Deciding that I could no longer stand that cheerful atmosphere, which contrasted so greatly to my current mood, I quickly dashed outside.
If only I had looked over my shoulder, then maybe I would've glimpsed Ron watching me leave with one sentiment flashing in his eyes; regret.
Once outside, I hurriedly Apparated to the first place I could think of; Harry and Ginny's flat.
xXxXx
When I arrived at Harry and Ginny's, I was surprised to find that my best friend was alone, and that his fiance was no where to be seen.
I asked him, in a choked voice, where she'd gone. Harry quickly explained that she'd gone home to the Burrow to visit her mum, before gently leading me to the familiar, and comfortable, black leather couch. He softly asked me what was wrong.
As if he didn't know.
Letting out a long sigh, I hesitated, attempting to gather my thoughts and emotions. Seeing that I was not yet ready to talk about it, he stood and walking into his kitchen. Seconds later, I heard the unmistakable sounds of tea being prepared, and I couldn't help but smile wryly at Harry's thoughtfulness.
He always preferred to make tea the muggle way, and I wholeheartedly agreed. It tasted better that way, we'd both argue to Ginny when she'd ask about it.
Though I knew the place by heart, I decided to look around anyway while I was waiting for Harry. Something seemed slightly amiss in this luxurious flat.
It was extremely large compared to Ron and… I mean my flat. Whereas mine was tiny and cluttered, no matter how many times I tried to organize it, theirs was incredibly roomy and neat. The design was very artistic.
The floors were a mahogany brown wood. While the walls had been painted with a color of deep charcoal, but had been charmed to sparkle with what looked to be fairy dust; Ginny's addition, no doubt. This gave the intended effect, however, which was to direct your attention from the color of the walls to the photographs placed sporadically about its surface.
There were no frames, giving the photos an elegant, yet simple look. They were black and white muggle shots, making them stand out beautifully. Each photo had sentimental value.
First, there was one of the whole Weasley family grouped together in their living room. They were all wearing the famous sweaters Molly knitted for them every Christmas and smiling widely.
Since it was in black in white, the individual colors of the actual sweaters were difficult to distinguish, but the letters (A, M, B, C, F, G, R, and again, G) appeared boldly.
The next few were of each child and their own families, beginning with Bill and Fleur and ending with Fred with Angelina and George with Katie, all in black and white.
Where there had once been a photo of Ron with his arms around my waist, there was now an old shot of Harry and Ginny, taken during Hogwarts when they'd dated. This one stood out profoundly as it was the only picture in the room that was moving.
Harry walked back in and guiltily noticed my gaze. Putting on a determined face, he carried the tea over to where I sat and quietly handed me a cup. Still not wanting to explain what happened, I instead asked him what happened to the picture I had loved so much.
"When Ron came over the night you two…er, decided to take a break," he started delicately. "He ended up staying with us for a week or so. Every time he saw the photo of you two, though, he became downcast or moody and ended up taking out his emotions on Ginny and I.
Naturally, I understood so I didn't really mind, but Ginny…well, you know her temper. She finally just took it down." He said this last part apologetically.
I was silent at first, then, a question came to my mind. How did Ron take it? I asked Harry this and furrowed my brow as he averted his eyes and mumbled quickly.
"He pretended not to notice, but…well, he was much more cheerful. I'm sorry Hermione, I wouldn't have mentioned it if you hadn't asked." He was so sincere that I couldn't help but to instantly forgive him. "Enough about that," he said, and striving to change the subject, "what was it you were upset about?"
Though I felt guilty about weighing Harry down with my personal problems, I couldn't help but release all my pains, doubts, and worries.
He was the perfect listener. Offering me more tea as my voice shook, comforting me when I began to cry again, and then holding me quietly because I could say no more.
Eventually, I drifted off to sleep in Harry's protective arms, dreaming of soothing things. Sometime in the middle of the night, however, I distantly heard the familiar sound of someone Apparating into the flat.
Gently, I felt Harry lift my light form off his lap and rise to greet the person, whom I could only assume was Ginny, with a quick kiss and hushed explanations as to why I was there. Be that as it may, I was much too drained to even begin to try and comprehend what exactly they were whispering.
Shortly after, their voices faded away and I slipped off again into my dreamless slumber.
xXxXx
I awoke early the following morning feeling even worse than the previous day. The sun was just beginning to rise, I noticed as I glanced out of Harry and Ginny's voluminous windows. It was beautiful, and I found myself feeling strangely lulled by a sight I'd so often taken for granted.
Taking advantageous of my timely awakening, I stepped lightly and made my way to the nearest loo. Ginny and Harry were still asleep, so when I passed their closed door, I made an effort to be as silent as possible.
Allowing myself to smile as I heard Harry's snores, I gently closed the bathroom door and hurriedly fixed my appearance as best I could. Pulling my wand from within my cloak pocket, I muttered a couple spells to smooth my hair down, easing it from the frizz that seemed to have attached overnight.
After my hair looked moderately acceptable for the day ahead of me, I began applying my beloved mascara. The store I'd bought it from had installed it into the opposite end of my wand so I wouldn't have to constantly conjure the tube.
Very clever for their sales, if you ask me.
Giving one last shrug at my reflection, I then hurriedly, but quietly, went to Ginny's favorite room in the whole flat; the kitchen. She, like her mother, was quite the cook. That being the case, she chose to spend most of her free time at home either with Harry or in the kitchen…sometimes both if Harry was in a helpful mood around mealtimes.
Casting a silencing spell over the large kitchen, I began preparing Harry and Ginny breakfast. First, I made a pot of hot chocolate and another pot of tea, the muggle way of course. Next I started to cook up some eggs, kippers, and bacon.
Looking over the well-prepared meal I'd made with a hint of satisfaction, I hastily conjured a scrap piece of parchment and a quill to leave Ginny and Harry a note.
Harry and Ginny,
Thanks so much for your kind hospitality. I do hope I didn't frighten
you last night, Gin, when you came home to find me on the couch.
Harry, I can't thank you enough for helping me out when I needed
someone. I hope you enjoy the breakfast I made (though it's hardly as
good as anything you could make, Ginny) in return for a lovely
night's sleep!
Love,
Mione
I read over the note twice more to check for misspellings or anything else I could add in. Nodding that it was appropriate enough, I left it on the black, marble counter beside the food, but not before remembering to place a heating charm on the breakfast.
Sighing, I quickly Apparated home, only to leave for the Ministry as soon as I'd picked up the files I still had yet to do. I hadn't lied to Lavender when I'd told her I had work to do. Grimly, I reached the Ministry and walked, with my arms full, to my small, wooden desk.
A little disappointed that my weekend was already over, I sat down lightly and immediately began working. If I was lucky, I could finish a couple before my boss arrived, as it was premature for anyone else to arrive quite yet.
There was also the unmistakable bonus that, as I labored through the endless amount of files, my misery was efficiently forgotten.
xXxXx
During my lunch break I'd received an unfamiliar, yet feminine, owl. It was from Lavender, asking if I'd like to join her for another quick cup of tea.
I don't know, quite honestly, what I'd been thinking when I promptly wrote back, immediately agreeing that we should meet. Wasn't this the girl I was supposed to hate with a passion? Yet here I was, befriending her and calmly drinking a cup of lemon tea she'd picked out for me before I'd arrived.
The worst part was, though, that no matter how many times I found myself comparing our differences, I was actually enjoying our time together. Besides Ginny and Harry, I didn't have many close friends.
Sure, I knew quite a few people at the Ministry, but there was nothing in those friendships that ever made it past the working hours. Lavender, however, was surprisingly a great conversationalist. There was yet to be an awkward moment in our harmless discussions.
That is, until we reached the innocent, at least in Lavender's opinion, topic of my relationship status, or lack thereof. I remained silent and chose to stuff a cookie in my mouth instead of answering directly.
Lavender noticed my hesitance. "I'm sorry," she muttered embarrassed. "I shouldn't have asked. I think Ron did mention that you'd recently split from a wonderful bloke. Funny, Ron never mentioned his name…right, but if you'd rather not discuss it…" She trailed off as my face paled.
Ron hadn't even told her that he was in fact the, 'wonderful bloke,' I'd broken it off with. Was he ashamed of me? My eyes burned, but I determinedly pushed back my tears. I plastered on a fake reminiscent smile and told her of the simply charming man I'd supposedly once dated.
After some more probing by Lavender, I finally lied and told her that he worked at the Ministry with me, him also being an Auror. I told her dreadfully romantic stories of the things we used to do, all the while, knowing in my mind that these were the plans Ron and I had once made together for our own future.
Eventually, I led off that things just hadn't worked out, but we were still friends.
"Well, I'd love to meet him!" Lavender said with a laugh. I thought about how deep I was digging myself into a hole at this moment before she said, "Think you could introduce us?"
Hastily trying to think of excuse, I near shouted that Ron probably wouldn't approve, causing her to jump slightly and look at me warily. Trying crucially to cover my over reaction with the situation, I quietly asked her why she was interested.
"I want to introduce him to Ron, of course!" She exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "He sounds terribly like a hopeless romantic, and Ron could use the tips." She finished with a teasing wink.
I laughed nervously. Now I'd done it.
xXxXx
A/N: "It's a curious sensation, the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, nothing matters anymore." – George Bernard Shaw
Terribly sorry this took so long to get posted. I can honestly say that I'm working on both this fic, and my other story every spare minute I have. School's started back up, so most of my writing is done either at night or on the weekends. Updating during the week, like this, is a pretty rare thing, so sorry, but don't expect it often.
My next update will be for Forgotten, then after that, I'll come back to this story and post the next chapter…it'll keep going on like that until I finish the other fic. I hope this pattern is alright with everybody reading!
THANK YOU, to all my reviewers. It's the most I've ever had for one chapter alone, and I was ecstatic when I read the responses – not one flame! Needless to say, it was unexpected, but obviously, I'm very pleased about it.
Sugarquill824: I guess you'll just have to wait and see, or read in this case, what happens. Hopefully, that was incentive enough to get you to review for this chapter as well… I know what you mean though, I do hate those angsty endings, but for reasons I can't explain, I always end up reading them repeatedly. Glad you liked it!
Jarcielle36: I'm glad you understood the emotions I was trying to get out from Hermione's point of view. It's sometimes really difficult for readers to feel the same emotion the character is going through, or at least, comprehend it. Thanks for the review!
.spitxfire.: Aw, thanks so much for giving this fic a shot even though you don't usually read R/H ones. Also, I can't thank you enough for giving me the heads up about mentioning that this story is post-HBP. I don't think I would've caught that otherwise!
Weasel Princess: Hope you like this chapter as well! I tried to make it just as descriptive as the last one…how'd I do?
kArlITaLUna: Sorry if my updating was too slow, I did try to hurry though! I think it would be a different opinion for every person on the question of when Ron stopped loving her. For Hermione, it was when he ran into Lavender again. As more chapters are posted, more back round will be explained. Hopefully, you'll still be reading, but until then, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Jade Summers: What would I do without your acclaimed stamps of approval? Jeeze, I can't even answer my own question! Did the mouse snap(e, haha) at your heels this time? Wait, what was that? I think I heard a squeak!
Magster: I'm both sorry and happy that I made you cry. I'm sorry because I hate making people cry! Makes me feel bad! But if you cried because you thought the story was good…well then, I can't complain, can I?
Wilty: Who's your sister, I'd love to thank her as well! Thanks for reading my story, sooo glad you liked it enough to review. Does my newest chapter promise a new review:-D
Chow: Ahh! You added me to your favorites list! You have no idea how excited I was when I read that, I about jumped out of the computer chair! Haha, thanks for reading and reviewing, hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.
InsaneMonkeePirate: Ron and Hermione's relationship in this fic is quite typical, I must say. Sometimes it's the familiar things that keep me reading, though…maybe for you too? Thanks for the review!
For all the new readers or people who haven't left a review, please just drop a note and tell me how my writing is. I'm trying really hard to improve, but I need some constructive criticism. Just let me know what you think!
Sunflour