A/N: I'm trying my best to get these chapters out as quick as I can, especially before my Christmas break as I don't expect I'll be writing much because I'll be on vacation.

Because of a review left to me by Sugarquil824, I decided to go further with Hermione's opinion on the difference between choosing who you love or being fated to love someone. Be sure to look for it!

Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created by J.K. Rowling, quotes from Grey's Anatomy, and "Rebecca," by Daphne du Maurier. Only the plot is mine.

xXxXx

- The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is – Tigress Luv

Hidden Sorrows: Chapter Four

In my third year, when I was taking Muggle Studies, my class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then, for extra credit, the teacher, Miss Mourner, had us act out all the parts. Being my usually self, I jumped at the option of extra credit, though I had hardly needed it, and quickly offered my services to the Squib teacher.

Blaise Zambini was quickly chosen to be Romeo because, in my opinion, our teacher had a slight crush. He was a handsome chap who had every first through third year girl swooning at his mere presence, and even some pitiful fourth years as well. His hair was long and black as the sky at midnight when there was no moon. His eyes were just as dark as his hair except that they had a crystal blue spark surrounding the iris. He was always polite and quite the charmer when the occasion called for it, but was put in Slytherin for his sly mind and cunning actions.

As fate would have it, I was picked to be Juliet. All the other girls were envious, but I had a slightly different take.

Before we acted it out, Miss Mourner decided to have an open discussion on the famous forbidden romance, encouraging us to state our honest opinions. The Hufflepuff girls dreamily stated how much they themselves fancied a relationship such as the two star-crossed lovers.

I remember how my opinion had shocked and even offended some of the classmates. I had raised my hand tentatively at first, and then had begun shaking it in eager anticipation. When she'd finally called on me, I had boldly stood up. I bluntly told Miss Mourner that Juliet was an idiot.

For starters, she fell for the one guy that she knows she can't have, and then blames fate for her own bad decision. Miss Mourner gently explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of fourteen, I was very clear that love, like life, was about making choices, and that fate had nothing to do with it. Everyone protested, proclaiming things like,

"It's so romantic, though."

And,

"Romeo and Juliet, true love…"

How sad. If Juliet was daft enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a coffin, she deserved whatever she got.

From then on Zambini had been determined to change my mind on love and romance. Each time we would act it out, I had felt like he wasn't just reciting lines, but really trying to tell me something important. I never quite figured it out, but even if I had, I doubt that at the time I would've believed it. Even so, I think that had things not happened as they had, Zambini and I would've remained friends. Our almost friendship was quickly desecrated with one act in the story; the kiss.

Having previously 'poisoned' myself, I remember sulkily pretending to be asleep on the desks we'd joined together for that particular scene. My heart had been racing, beating so fast and so loud that I was sure that Zambini could hear it as he stepped next to the desk and began saying his lines. He was a brilliant actor and I'd calmed myself with the thought that he was so good, that he could fake the kiss and nobody but I would notice.

Suddenly, I'd felt his breath against my face, and tensed as his body leant over mine. Moments before our lips touched, however, my eyes had snapped open and I'd already slipped off the desk before anything could happen. Zambini had lost his balance, however, and while I'd stood off to the side, biting my lip and absently fingering the chain of the Time Turner around my neck, he'd yelped in pain as his face unceremoniously made contact with the desk, his nose breaking immediately.

Needless to say, we hadn't spoken since, that is until Ginny and Malfoy reintroduced us, so to speak. Ginny had secretly gone and talked to Malfoy, our boss, about my circumstance. I've no idea what was said, but can only assume that he first laughed his arse off and had to be thoroughly convinced before agreeing to Ginny's plot. The afternoon following the dinner at Harry's, Ginny had misleadingly taken me out for a cup of tea.

We'd arrived at the local café with Ginny shoving me in the door as I spotted Malfoy sitting with Zambini. Far enough away that they couldn't hear, I'd pleaded with Ginny not to make me talk to the extremely handsome Blaise, desperately trying to explain why I couldn't so much as show my face because of what had happened. Hardly able to get two words from my mouth, I was interrupted.

"Ginevra, Grang-Hermione," Malfoy called with a small amount of difficulty, "Over here." I'd growled under my breath as Ginny smiled innocently and gently turned me around so that my beet red face was facing the two former Slytherins. Malfoy, I noticed at once, had his blustering smirk firmly in place, while Zambini regarded me placidly, absently rubbing at a faint scar on the bridge of his nose.

Feeling a pinch in the middle of my back, I jumped forward with a small yelp, glaring at Ginny over my shoulder before bracing my shoulders and calmly walking towards the small table which they were seated at. Zambini promptly stood as we came and Malfoy followed his show of manners, albeit with an amused sneer. As soon as Ginny and I took a seat, the boys sat as well.

The server came over then to take our orders and I determinedly avoided making eye contact with Blaise. Deciding to ask for their delicious Lemon Tea, the same drink I'd had with Lavender, I made to order it in a clear, unfazed voice but flushed as it came out rather shakily.

My eyes snapped to Malfoy sitting next to me as I heard him snort, and then I smirked as Ginny kicked him from under the table. He glared but surprisingly said nothing, and instead glanced disinterestedly around the café, observing our surroundings.

"You know, Granger, you're going to have to at least look at Blaise if you want him to play along with this charade," Malfoy drawled in a frustrated tone after a couple moments of awkward silence.

At an agonizing slow rate, my eyes rose to meet Zambini's and I was startled to see a kind smile on his face. I smiled in return, though it was strained, and quickly looked back down at the table.

"I don't bite, you know," Blaise said suddenly, and looking up again, I saw him frown. He wasn't mad at me? Not only that, but he wasn't offended by what had happened? I asked him as much, not caring if my voice sounded incredulous.

"Of course not, I'm the only one who received the extra credit, remember?" He said with a teasing wink. I felt butterflies swarm my stomach. Ginny and Malfoy looked on curiously as we began engaging in conversation, reminding each other of how much fun we used to have together until that fateful 'kiss.'

"Er…what happened with Romeo and Jules now?" Malfoy asked confusedly, trying his best to comprehend the story as we continued to ramble on.

"Juliet," Ginny whispered, quickly correcting him but waited intently for our answer. Blaise and I looked at each other and promptly burst out in laughter, leaving our friends glancing at us warily. Clearing his throat, Blaise began telling the story in an overly dramatic tone, though this did not faze Ginny and Malfoy as they listened with eager curiosity. I hid my face behind my hands as he got to the kissing scene.

"So that's where you got that scar," Malfoy laughed and then turned to me. "He tried to tell me what happened, but me, being the prat I was," Here I blanched. "All I heard was that a girl was the cause. I thought he had gotten thrashed by a silly school girl."

Blaise smirked. "For weeks he teased me unmercifully."

Our tea arrived then, and we all drank contently, still laughing. I enjoyed the small break from reality, a world free of broken hearts and endless tears. I knew though, that this would be short lived, and was correct in assuming that I would have to explain what exactly had happened, as no one quite knew the whole story.

There had been small stories in the tabloids read in frenzy, especially since Ron and I were commonly known as, 'The Loyal Sidekicks of The-Boy-Who-Lived.' We, along with Harry and Ginny, had been one of the few examples of a surviving relationship, which is why we were sometimes followed by cameras when Ron and I had been dating.

Now, on the rare occasion the photographers did show up for Witch Weekly, they attempted to only get shots of me looking at my worst so they could write all about how heartbroken I was because Ron had dumped me, insinuating that we were too young to be in love anyway. It seemed that they either didn't know, or didn't care, that I was the one who had ended things, though I now regretted that with every fiber of my being.

My stomach clenched painfully as I was asked to tell the others at the table why Ron and I had split. I retold the tale in a numb tone, though it was quite obvious that I was torn up about it as my eyes betrayed all my feelings and began to water.

"Why don't you just tell Ron what you really want?" Blaise asked softly. I sighed and told him the honest truth; it's not telling him how I feel that scares me, it's what he'll say back.

Hastily wiping at the tears and pretending the small lapse in my story hadn't occurred, I continued with how Lavender and I had begun talking, and how she had unintentionally told me that Ron hadn't even mentioned that we had just broken up, but instead boasted about my 'wonderful bloke,' of an ex boyfriend.

"That's rich, the sodding oaf," Ginny muttered heatedly under her breath as we all sat in silence.

Malfoy cleared his throat. "How did Lavender not know when it was in the tabloids?" Not wanting to answer any more questions, Ginny gladly took over for me.

"She doesn't believe in them, only reads magazines for the Horoscopes. She doesn't seem to care about much else," She said with a wry smile.

"Right, so I need to be charming, romantic, and good looking," Blaise said, counting off the details I'd mentioned on his hand. "No problem," He said with a smirk as Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"You've practically made a sign declaring your love for Blaise just by telling Brown that much," He said with a chuckle. "Those are his most well-known qualities." I smiled as Blaise airily tossed his head to the side in a joking manner.

Talking for a few minutes more, they agreed that the 'charade' should begin that night at a party being hosted by the Weasleys to congratulate Ginny and Harry on their up and coming wedding that was to be held in just two weeks. I suddenly panicked and began protesting wildly, saying that it was too soon, and that Ron wouldn't possibly believe it. Ginny patted my hand comfortingly as Malfoy said confidently,

"You just make him think that you're madly in love with Zambini right now, and that's all he'll focus on." I nodded, trying in vain to make myself believe that. The well known quote, easier said than done, flashed through my mind.

xXxXx

I can feel now the stiff, set smile on my face that did not match the misery in my eyes. It was Blaise who brought me a plate of food I could not eat. Blaise who stood at my elbow with a glass of champagne that I would not drink, for fear that it would stick in my throat and I would choke. Though later, Blaise had told me that I'd done an excellent job of acting in love, I personally feel that I'd done a much crummier job than he led me to believe.

It wasn't that I hadn't practiced, Merlin no. Ginny and Malfoy had me and Blaise working on different stances, poses, and even smiles that would make it look just so, yet as soon as I saw Ron, everything we'd rehearsed flew out the window, and I'd hardly been able to breathe, let alone act. Lavender had tripped on the carpet leading to the sitting room and Ron had steadied her with a small smile. Suddenly, I'd remembered when something quite similar had happened just after he and I had begun dating.

I'd just arrived at the Quidditch Pitch where Ron and his teammates were training for the next match. Sitting in the stands, I recall being mesmerized by his abilities as a Keeper. As practiced finished, he'd flown over to where I was sitting, landing a few rows down from me. I'd jumped up giddily and made to rush down to him by stepping over the wooden seats, but tripped over a loose board. Just before I could hit anything solid, Ron had taken a hold of me and picked me up laughing.

"It's okay because I love you," He'd whispered.

Though it was only a small memory, the emotion of it was enough to make me break down, and probably would have if Blaise hadn't carefully lead me outside to get a breath of fresh air from the stifling atmosphere in the small, but cozy room.

Ron had looked up at me as the door opened and our eyes met. I looked into his eyes, once again searching for any kind of emotion…and saw only my reflection. Blaise had nudged me and I'd quickly reached for his hand, seeking comfort more than trying to act. I remember feeling satisfied as I saw Ron's eyes narrow before we closed to door, shutting off his view of us.

A few tears had slipped from my eyes and I gave a humorless laugh before apologizing to Blaise. He'd shook his head, saying that he understood if I was still upset (though I doubted he really did). After all, it had hardly been a week since I'd found out. Rubbing my back, he'd looked me straight in the eye.

"Right, now we're going to have to go back in there sometime, and eventually, you'll need to introduce me to Lavender as you promised her you would. Can you do it? Can you be strong for me just for a little while longer?" He'd asked me softly, his piercing eyes looking directly into my own.

It's hard to be strong when the person you love is the one thing that makes you the weakest. Nonetheless, I'd nodded and hastily muttered another spell to readjust my mascara and, taking a deep breath, turned and opened the door, lightly pulling Blaise in behind me. Ironically enough, Lavender had caught sight of us straight away and rushed over with a huge grin.

"Is this the guy?" She'd asked, giving Blaise an appreciative once over. I'd smiled, making sure to blush as I looked up at Blaise. As he had introduced himself to Lavender, I quickly glanced around the room for Ron to check his reaction and instead found my eyes landing on Malfoy standing next to Pansy, watching me from the corner of his eye. He'd given me an approving nod and I'd quickly looked away, remembering to focus on pretending to be in love while facing Lavender.

"You never told me you dated Blaise Zambini," She'd gushed quietly. Then she had looked at him suddenly with a thoughtful expression. "I had no idea you were an Auror," she said. Blaise had looked at me curiously and I'd shrugged and given him a contrite smile at forgetting to mention that.

He'd nodded at Lavender. "Yes, in the Department of Mysteries, actually. That's probably why you didn't know," He'd lied easily.

"And are you two dating again?" She'd asked with a sly wink in my direction. He'd looked at me and brushed his hand against my cheek, and I had been startled to realize that this was not something that we had practiced. I'd quickly played along, though, and I even grabbed his hand from my face and pulled him closer towards me.

"I'll take that as a yes," Lavender had said with a laugh. "It was nice seeing you, Hermione, and nice to meet you Blaise, I'm sorry we never talked during our Hogwarts years." She'd said before leaving and going back over to Ron. As soon as she got to him he began heatedly asking her questions, sending Blaise a few glares as I assumed she told him that we were dating.

Blaise, in turn, had smirked back at Ron, before whispering, "Mission accomplished. I do believe Hermione that we can leave now." I remember letting out a relieved breath. Next, I'd walked over to Harry and Ginny, thanking them for a wonderful party (I'd decided not to inform them that the party had actually been the worst I'd ever attended since I didn't think they would take this so well) and gave them a final congratulation on their wedding. They'd laughed sheepishly and looked at each other lovingly, and I had felt my throat tighten painfully. Before I could leave, Ginny had hurriedly pulled me aside telling Harry she needed to discuss some wedding things with me.

"Mione," She'd said hurriedly. "You need to go over and say goodbye to Ron and Lavender." I looked at her and laughed. She was kidding right? "I'm not kidding," Guess not. "Trust me, it'll make him think you're more mature than he is and that you've moved on." I'd frowned but did as she told me to, though I draggged Blaise along with me.

I'd greeted him with a warm smile, finally allowing my firm mask to slip and feeling my old emotions for my first and only love rise up again. Blaise had then nudged me again, however this time more lightly, and I'd hastily introduced him to Ron before mentioning that we had only come over to say goodbye. Ron had tossed Zambini a glare, ignoring me completely before walking away into the kitchen. Hurt, I'd looked confusedly at Lavender who rolled her eyes.

"He's just jealous, I'm sorry Hermione." She said kindly.

"Jealous of what?" Blaise asked, albeit with a knowing expression he'd discreetly sent in my direction.

Lavender had laughed loudly. "Why you, of course, since you're such a romantic and all." She'd laughed again and teasingly hit Blaise in the shoulder as if he'd told a uproariously funny joke. He'd looked at me and smirked, saying without words, 'I told you so.' This was supposed to be good news for me, but I found that though our plan had succeeded, I didn't feel anything remotely near happiness, but instead felt like I'd done something terribly wrong, like I'd cheated on Ron or something, though we were broken up. Ron had come back then with two glasses of Apple Cider.

"You're still here?" He'd growled at Blaise, still refusing to meet my eyes. "I thought you were leaving,"

"Ron," Lavender had snapped with another apologetic glance at me.

He looked and her and his face softened. "Sorry, love," he said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. I recall that all the blood in my face promptly drained and had left me looking sickly pale. I guess there'll always be that one awkward moment when you're with the person you love and you remember all that you once had. Seeing my distressed state, Blaise had hurriedly said goodbye and took me outside. I don't remember Apparating but only the moment Blaise had left me at my flat.

"Are you sure you're okay, Hermione?" He'd asked softly. I'd nodded, not really hearing him, and closed the door in his face before he could ask any more questions.

An hour later, I was walking numbly into my room. Not even looking at which one I was picking up, I slipped into a nightgown and climbed under the covers. Though I was not tired enough to fall asleep, I hoped that by ending my day early, perhaps I could get a fresh start and have a better day tomorrow. My article was due in just two days and I hadn't even started yet.

As I finally felt the familiar sensation of my eyes beginning to get heavy, I allowed myself one last thought. Maybe everybody was right; we were too young to be in love. Actually, not to be in love, but just to make love work.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a little while, then their time passed. If they could've known that beforehand, maybe it all would've been okay. I remember telling Miss Mourner that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some bloke drag me down. Miss Mourner said I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone and that if I did, we'd be together forever.

I guess now I still believe, for the most part, that love is about making choices. It's about putting down that dagger and making your own happy ending, and that sometimes, despite all your best choices, and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.

xXxXx

A/N: That was a slightly angsty ending, and a somewhat shorter chapter, but I'm trying to keep it on track with the plot so bear with me for now. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!

I'm sorry to say that the next one might not come for a while, though I will try my best to get it up as quick as I can. There's a couple things going on right now in school (exams for one) that are sure to keep me occupied, so I'm just giving you all a fair warning.

Sugarquill824: I hope you noticed that I went further on your last review, thank you for that by the way, it really got me thinking. You seem really intuitive on relationships, so good on you! If you have any more thoughts or questions, please review, I'd love to hear from you.

Wilty: Yes, I had hoped it would come as a surprise to some people that Malfoy is now her boss. I'll go into his character more in later chapters and explain his background during the war and other things as well. Thanks for the review!

Pink Luvin Goddess: I hope I update quickly enough for you, I'll try to keep it up. As for Hermione getting the job…well we'll just have to wait and see won't we now? Thanks for your thoughts!

Jaydedangel73: I'm glad you've continued reading, and I hope this chapter wasn't so sad that you'll decide to stop. Keep hoping that they'll get back together…who knows what I'll come up with.

Let me know what you thought, I love to hear your comments!

-Sunflour-