Author's Note: I didn't mean to write more of this…it just happened…ideas got into my head…
Kiss by Leila Winters
Okay. Okay. Okay. So the lilies are a little off-center. That's okay. I'm sure no one's looking…but if one were to look…well, then it's certain to be noticed.
Aoshi…what are you doing? NO! Why are you even showing your old man the flower display? He's smart! He watches! He'll know about the lilies! I bet he already knows about them at this moment! Oh god…
…but…he's just sniffling. He admires the artistic design and then turns to his son, eyes wet. He grasps Aoshi by the forearms of his gorgeous black overcoat and weeps into his son's shoulder.
Oh god…disaster. Why did I have to make the father cry?
They've turned around and are staring at me! I've got no way to hide, stupid white dress only makes my embarrassment all the more clear to spectators. The old man is nodding and you nod in mild agreement.
Holy fuck, what are they getting all chummy about? I pretend to be busy arranging my skirts. I can't stand this…isn't it time to go? Why can't we leave now? Aoshi, hurry the hell up…
Silverware is clinking against the dishware…silverware is clinking against the dishware…oh no…no no no…NO!
"Hyeah! Go for it!"
"Whoo!"
Shut the hell up. Just shut. up. Oh god…he's walking this way!
—Flash!—Flash!—
He smiles and waves to the crowd as they snap single-framed photos of his slow tread to his bride. To me. The clamor of silver against ceramic and glass reaches its zenith as Aoshi is standing in front of me, smug in that long overcoat/tux combination, but damn, if he doesn't look deliciously sexy in it.
He's standing over me…I can't…I can't, Aoshi, don't.
The people are relentless. Bang, bang, clink clink clink. Arrg. Shut up for just a second.
There's so much flashing and the faces…oh, Aoshi, how can you stand to see them all leering so? They want…they expect so much of us…
You smile that disarming smile…goddammit…you are hot. Do you have any idea how good-looking you are, because DAMN.
Your face is coming closer to mine…oh god…I thought you didn't like public displays of affection…then why?
I can feel my lips shrinking in on themselves, so tight. I can't breathe…someone help me…I can't do this.
My eyes have zeroed in on those lips that insist on coming ever closer. It's just inches now…but…
NO! I turn my head gracefully to the side and your warm lips plant firmly on my cheek. The cameras flare in a dizzying white glare while the crowd boos and moans in utter disappointment. Sickos.
You pull away and it's eye contact. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry.
But my mouth doesn't move.
Your brows knit. You hold my hand so gently…taking mine in your reassuring grip.
"It's okay, honey."
Omigod…I think I love you…no. I know I love you. You're the reason why I would marry you and only you…
Gah! What am I thinking? It's your fault that I'm thinking these horribly sappy and SO unlike-me thoughts! I hate you! You turned me into some kind of pining idiot! Curse you, Aoshi Shinomori!
…you're still looking down at me with those sharp, worried eyes. How quickly those eyes can change their tune.
You give my hand a squeeze and kiss my forehead.
"Hey, honey, it's going to be all right."
Goddammit…
Tears prick my eyes, that burning moistness that I so hate…why are you so fucking sweet to me? Blink them away…
I'm so evil! Why are you marrying me? I said I hated you on our wedding day! I should be shot and put in a small cage so that people can watch while my life-blood leaves my body…
I think I'm going to cry…
But you know what I'm thinking and smile again, hugging me close.
"I love you, hon."
I'm so stupid…
My lips are moving and I say into his ear, "I'm scared…"
"I know…"
Mmm…he feels so good. He leads me by the hand to our table and the food is so good…everything is so good…with warm wine in my belly, I feel so much better. Your shoulder is ten times more comfortable, the faces ten times less daunting with each glass.
Hey…you're not having any, no fair. A bride can't very well drink alone, now can she? Oh, you will…you'll have the customary glass of champagne you're entitled to. You said you didn't want to take my garter off in front of all these people…but you're going to. I have it all planned out…
Ho ho ho…
What is with me today…? I look at Aoshi sitting beside me, dumb with liquor (me, not him). He smiles back.
"You shouldn't have let me drink so much," I say.
"You're a grown woman," he says back, as if that explains everything.
The clinking starts again. First, only one or two glasses, but it builds as the tables join in until it is a deafening roar around us.
You rise from your seat and pull me up with you. You're still confident and crack that maddening smirk that brings girls to your knees.
"Ready?" you ask, managing to be heard over the din.
Clink-clink-clink-clink-clink-clink-clink!
So ready, it hurts, baby.
The crowd loves it and I love it—right on the lips, baby, I could do this all evening.
Kissey kissey kissey…
Hang on…first kiss was crowd appropriate, nice and chaste. Why are we kissing for a second time? You're so affectionate, this never happens, I don't understand. Did you sneak a drink when I wasn't looking?
(…)
Doesn't taste like it.
(…)
No wonder I married you. Goddamn!
End Note: Totally different style and I don't mean just POV. Actually inspired by me being the one who rings the china the loudest at receptions and ONE TIME a bride denied a groom her lips and turned her head at the last moment. It was an arranged marriage…lol…doom…
Oh yeah. DRINKING IS BAD!
Influences: Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich. Her masterful manipulation of time is something to behold. Outlaw Bible of American Poetry with a poem called "I'm an Emotional Idiot" by Maggie Estep.
(05-28-04)