Disclaimer: I own no Zim. It belongs to some other person. Like Jhonen Vasquez, the creator. Well, now I own a DVD but that doesn't count.
PF: Something just occurred to me... the last three new students (Excluding the other kid that came in with Tak) are aliens. And maybe there's a little Katamari rolling around in the classroom, that's a fourth alien! Oh, and I've been making this story up as I go along! XP This'll be interesting.
Chapter four: Dib and Mer
This was going to be hard. Dib had no real proof that she was an alien. He was just paranoid. So if she could prove she wasn't an alien then she could get closer to him. "I'll just have to start by not hanging around Zim anymore. And I'll have to STOP TALKING TO MYSELF!" Mer growled. "Computer I need to contact the tallest!"
The tallest appeared on one wall of Mer's bedroom. Red spoke first. "Hello Mer. No Zim?" The tallest gave a sigh of relief. "We were beginning to wonder if you would ever get rid of him."
Mer replied, "Yes, I know. We've gathered information on this planet's hideous government and it seems that they have hundreds of rulers. At this moment my robot is controlling every move this 'president-man' of theirs makes. From now on this mission should be pretty smooth sailing."
Purple took his turn to talk. "That's good to hear. Do you need any- hey look, someone's making donuts! DONUTS!" Red and purple ran to eat some donuts.
"You... you go do that, my tallest. Invader Mer, signing off." She signed off and started to laugh some. Mer spent the next few hours thinking of how she should convince Dib that she was not an alien. That dreadful weakness to water, it was gone now that she was covered in paste. But Dib didn't know about the paste. She didn't usually eat the human food, so she'd just have to shove it down her own throat the rest of the time.
Her computer made a few suggestions as well. A really great one for the horrid lunches. "May I suggest that you take a bag full of food to skool? That way you can eat your own food and still look human. Just cover up all the symbols with more stuff, like maybe a little bit of food coloring."
"That's brilliant! I'll make the food in the morning, but now! I think I'll just study child games. Computer I need all the information on this 'recess' that I have to sit through every day." Mer spent the rest of the time learning about what the kid's did. It was monstrously stupid to run around poking each other or throwing a ball back and forth but it would make Dib think better of her as a human.
(Meanwhile at Zim's house)
"It feels so good not to have Mer here to drag me down." Zim sat back in the couch turned the T.V. to watch the news. He had found it was a very efficient way of gathering information.
Gir got bored of the news after two seconds. Maybe three and grabbed the remote control to change the channel. "I love this show."
The scary Monkey Show came on. "That monkey..." Zim glared at the television, then snatched the remote control away from Gir. "Gir, you've got to start acting more seriously. Now that our mission is running full swing we should probably try to get ahead of ourselves!"
Gir hopped down from the couch and the green on his body became red. "Yes, my master!" He turned green again to sit back down and scream, "Weenies!" As a Deelishus Weenie commercial came on.
Zim sighed. "No Gir. We have to get to work. You go... do the thing's that you do while I watch the pitiful television."
Gir jumped up. "I like doin' the things I do!" He ran into the kitchen and jumped into the trash can, without opening it, and succeeded in falling asleep.
Zim watched the News with very few interruptions that night. The president was acting smart and actually took the hanger out of his shirt every once in a while. But the decisions he was making that seemed good, were going to slowly set the human's up for the armada.
After the news was over, the scary monkey show came on. Gir immediately woke up and took over the television. Zim glared at the monkey. "That monkey..." He walked slowly towards the toilet and got in. "Gir, don't let anyone in the house, okay?"
"Okay! Oh, it's the ice cream man!" The jingling noise sounded through the door and Gir left to get a suck monkey.
"Why is that horrible human here at 11:00 O'clock in the evening?" Zim asked himself. When he arrived in his lab and started experimenting on Nick. "Is there a time where you feel, at any length, unhappy?"
Nick shuddered and his eye twitched. "I'm always happy, so happy! I love this magical place!" He threw his hands in the air and started waving them around.
"And if you left this 'magical' place. What would happen?" Zim asked him, deciding whether or not to get more of these brain probes.
"I'd die! I'd DIE!" He ran around the room singing 'Timmy had a little rabid dog', all the while frolicking and skipping.
Zim was thinking of yanking the probe out but he had to ask one more question. "Would you do anything I told you to just to keep the happy feeling?"
Nick stopped skipping and thought about it for a moment. "Yes I would! Anything for this," He jumped up and down some more. "happy, happy, happy feeling!" Zim laughed evilly and Nick just ran around, until he ended up back in his tank full of fluid.
By that point in time there were about two hours left until skool, so Zim just rested until then.
Mer didn't go to Zim's house that morning, instead she just went straight to skool. When Zim got there she completely ignored him and went to where Dib was. "What're you doing here? Why aren't you with Zim?"
Mer already had a plan for what she would say. "I decided I knew enough about him. You said he was an alien and I thought I'd go to see for myself. So I went and tried to get as much information on his daily living as I could. I disguised myself as an alien, my grandmother taught me how to act, and I actually got a chance to see him without a disguise on! He's unbearably stupid if he couldn't tell I was human."
Dib didn't believe her. "You expect me to believe that? You tried to kill me!"
Mer thought quickly about what to say. "Well, I had to score some points with Zim, and I wouldn't have actually tried to kill you. I had to act like I hated you. The hall pass was fake any ways." She smiled as convincingly as she could.
"Right. How can I be sure that you're telling me the truth?" Dib asked her, starting to give in. But there was no way he would start to believe her so soon.
"You'll just have to decide on your own. But it's not very nice to just assume a person is an alien. You have no proof that I'm an alien." She turned from him. "Besides, I was only pretending to be an alien because I just love paranormal investigation." She walked away, grinning. "Zita! Over here!" Mer went on her way to talk to the girls and act all normal and stuff.
Dib thought to himself throughout the day. He really hadn't thought about it much. The day that she came he was especially paranoid, he had seen a fast moving bright light in the sky, so when a new girl came in the very next day he thought it might have been another alien. After all, out of the last three new kids, only one was human.
So at lunch time Dib went to go apologize. "I thought about what you said, and I'm really sorry." Dib said. Mer turned and shuddered with excitement. "I hope you're not too mad at me."
"I don't know..." She turned around and smiled widely. "I guess I'll forgive you. I can teach you how to act. That way you could probably trick Zim into thinking you are so interested in him is because you are also an alien."
Dib thought for a moment about this. "I don't know. I'll think about it later, but now I think I should eat."
She giggled. "You do that. I'll be over that way, talking to Jessica and Zita."
Jessica looked at Mer as if she was crazy. "You talk to him?"
"There's a difference between talking to a person and wanting to talk to them. I just want to see what I can do to him." She laughed. "It's an experiment. Turning a dork into a cool person." They laughed and talked some more before they had to go back to class. Mer was unusually happy, and Dib was still cautious around her but less than he used to be.
Zim was glad for the quiet. Since Mer was completely ignoring him it was as if she had gone home. Things were almost back to normal for him but now he really was making a little bit of progress. He hardly had to do anything because Tejay was pretty much controlling the entire operation in president land. Zim had much more free time that he could use to plan ahead.
At the end of the skool day Mer went home with Dib, only part of the way because she lived closer to the skool, but it was far enough for her to tell Dib her story.
"Well, when I got here I thought I would be the only person interested in paranormal studies. At my old skool I had to pretend to not like it. So when I got here and saw a green kid with no ears, I had to see what other people had to say. And you thought he was an alien. So I investigated. I found a brilliant costume to wear and slapped it on. He actually believed me!" Mer laughed at Zim. "So I just had to pretend to hate you, pretend to pretend to like every one else and I learned some valuable things."
Dib jumped, "What did you learn!" he asked her excitedly.
"I'll have to tell you tomorrow. This is my house."
"Bye, see ya tomorrow!" They waved goodbye and Dib tried not to get too anxious for the next day to come. If that happened then he wouldn't be able to pay attention to mysterious mysteries of strange mystery. But he had to at least contact agent dark booty.
When Dib got home he ran straight to his room. "Agent dark booty! You know the new girl I told you was an alien?"
Agent dark booty appeared on Dib's monitor. "Hello agent moth man. It seems as if you have collected more information on the aliens attending your skool?"
"Almost. I thought she was an alien but she's not! she was acting! She got into his base and everything, I'll talk to you again tomorrow when I have more information. Moth man out!" The image disappeared and Dib went down stairs. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
PF: Ain't I nice? Well, review please! I made most of that up on the spot so sorry if it doesn't make sense. If you review I can probably make it better but you all seem to really like it. Thank you so much for the reviews, all you nice people!