HE'S MY HEART'S DESIRE
Chapter 12
"Destiny is a flower…"
Time passed and Candy got her nursing diploma. She was now employed at the hospital with a salary. Anthony wanted her to come and live with them at the manor, but she refused. She wanted to have her own apartment, she wanted to be independent. And it would also be easier if Terry comes to visit, and for her mail, she needed her privacy. Anthony didn't insist, but came to see her as often as he could.
A few weeks later, they bought a wounded from the war that was in an explosion; he had lost his memory. Candy looked at the man, he seemed familiar… She imagined him with a beard and sunglasses… Mr. Albert! Mr. Albert had lost his memory! His physical wounds took some time to heal. But his memory didn't come back. When he was in a condition to leave the hospital, he didn't know where to go, since he had no idea of what his life was before. Candy that was taking care of him, had an idea…
- Good morning Mr. Albert she said happily, how are you today?
Albert didn't answer, lost in his empty head where he didn't remember anything.
- You have to leave the hospital soon…
- To go where? I don't event know who I am
- Well, I wanted to talk to you about that, actually. You don't know who you are, but I do. Why don't you come and live with me in my apartment?
- With you?
- Yes, I know who you are and I trust you; you saved my life once. I can't abandon you. You're like a big brother to me. I'm going to take care of you, until you recover your memory. Please, say yes Mr. Albert.
Albert remained silent for a while. He didn't remember anything. The warmth and the goodness of this young girl went straight to his heart. Living with her would certainly be better than to wander around in the void, not really knowing where to go and what to do. Why not accept this warm young girl's generous offer?
- Ok, Candy, he said, I'll come and live with you and I will consider you my little sister. With our blond hair, no one will be the wiser!
Candy came near him and hugged him.
- That's true she said laughing, that's what people are going to think.
- Maybe we should tell them that, so that they won't talk and gossip
- Whatever, said Candy, gossip of not, nothing and no one will stop me from taking care of you
But Anthony and the others thought the idea was absolutely crazy!
- Candy, said Anthony, you're going to live alone with a man…
- It's Mr. Albert, Anthony. He saved my life. You remember when I disappeared and you slapped me when I came back?
Anthony looked down, he remembered the incident way too well. And he slapped her again in college when he found her with Grandchester! Boy, at this rate he will soon qualify for an abuser!
- Well I can't abandon him. I'm sorry if that bothers you boys, said Candy
- Ok, Candy said Anthony, you know what you're doing.
Anthony came to see Candy more often. Candy knew he was coming to check on Albert. He wanted to be in Albert's place because he lived with Candy, but he couldn't get himself to hate him, he felt a strange connection to him. They oddly looked alike. Albert felt close to Anthony, Archie and Stear.
Terre screamed when he read Candy's letter where she was telling him Albert's story.
"Freckles, you're too good, but that's what I like about you" he said to himself
- Terry, the rehearsal is starting said one of the actors
- I'm coming, thanks said Terry
He left Candy's letter there and left. Susanna was passing by and picked up Candy's letter and her heart was broken into a thousand pieces again. They were writing each other! Terry loved this Candy. Terry came back to pick up his letter and found it in Susanna's hands.
- Susanna, can I have my letter?
- You love this Candy? She asked with tears in her eyes
- Susanna…
- You spent the night with her in Chicago…
- That's none of your business…
- The first time I saw you, I fell in love with you… I was so happy until we went to Chicago at the reception. You disappeared and I went to your room…
- I know the story Susanna. What's your point?
- I was really upset to find her in your room.. . I love you Terry. I love you so much
Terry remained silent. How can he make Susanna understand that he could never love her? That he loved Candy from the moment he saw her for the first time? How could he tell her without hurting her too much?
- Susanna, I'm sorry. But from the moment I saw her, I fell in love with her…
- Nooooooooo! I will not let you to another, not even your precious Candy! She yelled running out of there
" You were right Freckles, this girl is crazy in love with me…"he thought
He cursed.
"This is a complication I can do without! "He thought.
Neil was still in love with Candy. He got along better with his cousins, but his bad boy side took over when he thought about Candy, and how he could never have her. He turned to alcohol and drugs. Only he abused on it one night and found himself in St. Joan's hospital near death. He overdose on drugs and had alcohol poisoning. Candy was charged to take care of him. He was unconscious for a few days. When his family heard he was almost dying, they came in a hurry. Of course Eliza, her parents and the Great Aunt, all did like Candy didn't exist. To be ignored by the Reagans and the Great Aunt was like breathing for Candy. She was used to it and it did nothing to her. Mrs. Reagan and the Great Aunt Elroy wanted another nurse for Neil.
- Doctor, said Mrs. Reagan, is there a way to get another nurse for our son?
- Yes, said the Great Aunt, we want one more qualified
- But, said the doctor, Miss Andrew is one of the best nurses and the most requested by the patients
- I don't care! Said Mrs. Reagan, I want…
- Mom, said Eliza, you have to let Candy take care of Neil…
- What? Said the mother, how could you say that?
- I thought you hated her, said the Great Aunt
- My feelings are not important, said Eliza, Neil's feelings are
- What do you mean? Asked Mr. Reagan
- It kills me to say it, but I think that Candy is the nurse he needs
- There are other nurses more competent, said Mrs. Reagan
- But Candy is the one he needs insisted Eliza
- Why? Asked The Great Aunt
Eliza seemed very uncomfortable. Her brother's life was in danger, she knew that to have Candy as a nurse would help her a lot, which already got on her nerves. But she loved her brother. She had to call upon all the strengths of the world, but she said;
- Neil is in love with her…
It was almost a torture for her to pronounce those words
- What? Said the parents and the aunt at the same time, since when?
- Since college and I think that if she takes care of him…
- Oh my God! Said Mrs. Reagan
- If your son is in love with Miss Andres, I think that she's the perfect nurse to take care of him! Said the doctor
- We have to think about Neil, said Eliza
The parents and the aunt had to give up. They didn't want to risk Neil's life. So Candy remained Neil's nurse, once her worst enemy, now crazy in love her. But she was a nurse and she did her work even if it was Neil Reagan. Eliza was right, Neil woke up earlier than the doctors anticipated with Candy taking care of him and talking to him nicely. If Neil's family was happy, they didn't show it to Candy. Neil was glad that Candy was the first person he saw when he woke up.
- I should be in the hospital more often, he said
- Neil, said Candy smiling you're awake
- Yes. And I woke up in paradise…
- Don't even joke about that! That's not funny at all! Said Candy, you scared us!
- "Us"? He asked weekly, who's "us"?
- The doctors, your parents, your sister, your aunt…
- Wait a minute; they let you take care of me?
- Eliza insisted, if you can believe that!
- Eliza? I must've been pretty bad shape…
- I'm going to go get the doctors, said Candy going out
She saw his family in the hallway. Eliza saw her expression, Candy made a head sign. Eliza took her parents and the great aunt and they entered Neil's room. They were happy to find him awake.
- We don't need Candy anymore, said Mrs. Reagan
- You'll have another nurse, said the great aunt
- What? Said Neil, no way! Leave Candy alone!
- It's not good to get him agitated said the doctor entering the room
He examined Neil and told them that he was on his way to recovery and that he had awaked earlier than expected. So Candy remained his nurse. When everybody left, Candy entered Neil's room.
- Candy! He said smiling
- Neil, she said seriously, you family probably didn't tell you, but I', telling you; ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
Neil didn't understand, she was so nice a minute ago.
- What? What did I do?
- What did you do? You almost died! That's what! How could you abuse on drugs and alcohol like that? You want a premature death?
- No but… Candy, he said confused
- You're going to take your life in hand and stop this kind of stupid behaviour that is taking you nowhere else, then to perdition!
- Ok, said Neil, I'm going to change for you…
- No, not for me, for you, it's your life and you're ruining it!
- Ok, he said looking down
Candy got out of the room. Neil was perplexed, after everything he'd done to her, she behaved professionally with him.
His cousins, Alistair, Archibald and Anthony came to see her
- Well Neil, said Archie joking, you little smarty-pants!
- You found a way to get Candy to take care of you, said Anthony
- You knew she couldn't stand you, so you played on her weaker side, said Stear
Neil started to laugh with his cousins
- And you all want to be in my place right now, right? He laughed
- Aside from the alcohol and the drug, said Anthony, we would love to be in your place. She washes you too?
- I don't know, I was unconscious until this morning
- But joke aside, said Stear, what went through you mind? Alcohol poisoning, drug overdose? Neil, I thought you stopped that kind of nonsense…
- I'm sorry, said Neil, Candy already let me have it…
- She's not possible, said Archie
- She's professional, said Anthony
- Hi, guys! Said Candy entering the room
- Hi, they all said at the same time smiling
Candy found the scene a little weird, the four cousins, who all had a thing for her, were smiling to her with tenderness…
" I have to get out of here! she thought"
- Don't get him too tired, said Candy, he needs his rest
- Yes Mam! Said Anthony smiling
Candy looked at him. A part of her wanted to stay and talk but she had to continue her work.
- See you later she said
After the Neil incident at the hospital, the relationship between Candy and the Reagan family and the Great Aunt… remained the same. They continued ignoring each other. I guess some things will never change.
A few weeks later, Candy received a letter from Terry that troubled her a little.
My Darling Juliet,
Hello! How are you?
I'm fine. I have good news… I got the part of Romeo! Everything
would've been perfect if you were my Juliet with me on scene, like when
we were on our last summer vacations in Scotland.
But this is it, if everything goes well; this role is going to launch my actor's
career. I know that you didn't want to make plans, but I suppose that you
are now a nurse with a salary, you also have reached your goal.
Candy honey, I'm sending you an invitation for the première of "Romeo
and Juliet" and a single train ticket. If you come to the première, I will
assume that you came to stay with me for good; we'll make our life
together. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. But if you don't
come, I will understand that you don't share my feelings and I will never
bother you again. I will respect your choice.
Sincerely yours,
Your Romeo
That's what she wanted more in the world! To be with Terry for the rest of her life! But should she do it? It seemed too good to be true. In general, when something seemed to good to true, it usually was the case. She talked about it to her sister and best friend Annie. They were eating in a little restaurant.
- How's your course? Asked Candy
- Fine, pretty fine. What about you, what's wrong? Something's bothering you…
- You know me too well
- I'm your sister Candy
- I got a letter from Terry
- Nothing out of the ordinary there
- He's asking me to go to the première of "Romeo and Juliet" in New York. He sent me an invitation and a one-way ticket…
- One way?
- He wants me to stay with him…
- Oh… and that's a problem, because….?
- I'm not sure I'm ready to make this kind of commitment…
- Candy, all those months you didn't get back together with Anthony, because you wanted Terry…
- Yes but, I also love Anthony…
- Oh, my God! You are not getting into that boat again! What's the real reason, Candy?
Candy remained silent, Annie read her like a book.
- I'm afraid that something is going to happen to stop us from being together like in St. Paul
- Like what? Come on, Candy don't be so pessimistic
- I don't know… but ok, I will go without telling anything to anybody aside from you and Mr. Albert. If everything goes well, I will tell you, otherwise, you'll see me back here.
- Candy…
- I don't want to take anything for granted, Annie
- Ok. But, don't be so pessimistic, everything will be fine.
- From your mouth, to God's ears, Annie! From your mouth, to God's ears.
Candy told Albert that she was going to New York to se Terry's premiere. She had already talked to him about Terry and Anthony; Albert understood she loved them both, but she seemed to prefer Terry. He felt close to Anthony and wanted him with Candy. But Candy told him that he knew Terry too, and that they were friends.
- Really? Asked Albert
- Really. You've met in London
- So, I'll reserve my judgment until my memory gets back.
But inside himself, he was saying.
" I want you with none of them, I want you with me… I'm in love with you and you're never going to know about it!"
- Don't forget, don't tell anybody where I am, aside from Annie who already knows…
Candy took the train for New York, the day of the premiere. She took a room in a hotel, changed and went to the premiere of "Romeo and Juliet".
Terry was magnificent on stage Candy didn't see him before the play. He didn't know she was there. She wanted to surprise him after the play. It would be his present for his big premiere. She was watching him on stage and she imagined herself in the place of the actress playing Juliet. She was of course a little surprised not to see Susanna on stage with Terry, it was Karen another actress. She thought that Susanna was going to play "Juliet". During the intermission, she heard people talk.
- How come Susanna is not playing Juliet? Asked a lady
- You don't know? She had an accident saving the life of the lead Actor, Terrence Grandchester. A spotlight was going to fell on him; she pushed him and the spotlight fell on her leg, they had to amputate…
Candy felt sick to her stomach all of a sudden. The world came crashing around her. Susanna lost her leg while saving Terry? The ladies continued talking.
- When did this happen?
- A day ago, I think , or two… and you know what? Since she's in love with him, she's forcing Terrence to marry her, they say
Candy needed some air; she was suffocating, she went out of the theatre almost running. Was it true; was Susanna forcing Terry to marry her because she saved his life? Candy remembered Susanna's expression in Chicago when she saw her open Terry's hotel's room. Susanna loved Terry, she saved his life risking her own. Candy decided to go to the hospital to see her. She went directly there without changing. When se arrived at the hospital, she found Susanna writing a note, crying.
- Susanna? Good evening, said Candy
- Candy… you came to be with Terry?
- He doesn't know I'm here in New York but yes, I came to be with him, I love him.
- I love him too, said Susanna, I saved his life…
- And now you need him, said Candy with tears in her voice
- But, he's in love with you, Candy. All I'm doing is bothering you. That's why I wanted to end it, to leave you in peace. I'm only an obstacle to your happiness…
- To end it? You mean… NO! DON'T DO THAT! Susanna, you saved the life of the man you love, and you need him….
Candy remained silent for a while. Terry had to stay with Susanna, to take care of her. He owes Susanna his life. There was no place for her in his life anymore. Their future, their plans… everything was ruined! She couldn't take Terry from Susanna… Susanna loved him so much that she risked her life to save him. She didn't think, she reacted by love for him. She had to let Susanna be with Terry. It took her all the strengths of the world, but finally was able to say;
- Promise me, you'll make him happy she said to Susanna with tears in her eyes
Susanna looked at her without understanding. What did she mean? Candy was giving up Terry? She could finally be with the man she loved? Her heart was filled with joy. Candy was good, too good! To give up the love of her life for her? A perfect stranger? Because she needed him?
- Oh, Candy, I love him so much! I will make him happy; you'll see…Thanks for your sacrifice. I know how much it cost you
Candy was crying. She had to give Terry up so he could take care of Susanna. It was the right thing to do, even if it broke her heart into a thousand pieces… Susanna needed him. If she weren't there Terry wouldn't hesitate to fulfill his duty for Susanna; taking care of her and make her happy. He owed her his life. Without Candy; if he thinks she didn't love him, that she didn't want him, he would take care of Susanna.
- One more thing, said Candy before she left, don't tell him I came to New York. He must never know… otherwise, he'll come and get me, and I don't think I'll be able to reject him. It's for your happiness, for the both of you… but if he's unhappy, Susanna…
- He will be happy, I promise you and me too
- If he's unhappy insisted Candy, my promise won't hold anymore
- Ok, said Susanna convinced that she could make Terry happy, Terry will never know that you came to see me. I'll take it to my tomb
- Bye Susanna, be happy and especially, make him happy
Candy wiped her tears. She went back to the hotel to take her stuff and went to the train station for Chicago. She had just made the biggest sacrifice of her life; give up the man she loved. And Terrence G Grandchester will never know about it. He will think that Candy didn't come because she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with him. She had to leave the city immediately otherwise, she won't have the strength to leave later.
"Goodbye Terry, I love you. I'm doing this for you, so you won't have to choose. Be happy Terry, be happy with her"
Without knowing it, unconsciously, she did the same sacrifice Terry did when he left college and London a few years back; leaving her, so she could be with Anthony, like she was leaving him, so he could be with Susanna.